Amiga CD32 - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

First level before finishing a

game

. All levels are based on films genres, such as "Gex" or "Spot Goes to Hollywood". The first room is science fiction; Fights in robots and what the dog looks like, Xenomorph of "Alien 3". This is theme of terror; There are dogs, chainsaws and spooky ghosts. I can't advance much, here. In addition to shit controls, Oscar runs as if he were on the ice. This

game

is not the worst that I have played so far, but that is not a compliment. It is like comparing solid shit records with a puddle of diarrhea. Both smell horrible, both are disgusting, but I guess I prefer to pick up a Turd trunk and throw it that having to absorb diarrhea with a paper towel.

Next. "Bubba 'N' Stix"! A Core Design game. Discover what is worse: this or "angel of darkness." Stix looks a bit like Bizarro Shit Pickle. The work of art looks great, and music is fine. So ... maybe this is ... a hidden jewel. Oh, please be good ...! Oh my God ...! Oooh, my God! ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Lo ¡ Bastante bien. The game is like a puzzle platform, where you have to use Stix to get pass obstacles: how to use it to put this rock or put it on the wall to use as a platform. This part, right here is quite funny. You have to approach these strange guys without interrupting the conversation, and then throwing Stix, the character, them.

The graphics are also really pleasant. It is cartoons and colorful, but not like the vomit of Oscar's rainbow. This is actually a good game. At least until reaching the second level, and I can't understand what to do. And I don't have time to solve it, so ... ... well. I guess we have to move on. But I can give this the "no shit"

nerd

label. But now, we are going down to shit! We have: "Surf ninjas". "Motosurf!" Iggy: "Motosurf!" That's how it is; They made a linked "surf ninjas" for this thing. Nice word art on the title screen.

Is this a game or a fourth -grade book report? Ah, and it's for flair, again. I guess they were the "LJN" of CD32. Well, now I know it's going to stink. The first thing you have to do is choose if you want to listen to "sound effects" or "music." Uhh ... Can I have both? The game barely resembles anything in the movie. And when my complaint is that the game is not like "Surf ninjas", so you know, we are really in poor condition! Who is supposed to be? This is not even a character in the movie! Is it supposed to be Ernie Reyes Jr.?

Or maybe it's Rob Schneider. It is not confirmed, but it is probably true that this was actually another game before turning it into surf ninjas. Because that's what you want to do; If you have a shit game, it could well do it surfing ninjas. They probably only had some generic on a hard drive and slapped the name "Surf Ninjas", in the last minute. A little like "Doki Doki Panic", but it's "Dookie Dookie Panic"! Uugh, is another shit shit joke, but not as shit as a movie -based shit game, based on a shit movement, "Surf ninjas". Yes, I know I'm talking a lot about shit, but I'm looking at shit!

If you are looking at shit, would you be talking about butterflies or something? No! I am looking at shit, we are talking about shit! Well, then I have to calm down a little; The game is monotonous. I walk fighting the ninjas who kick my ass most of the time. Ah, and in most games, you die when the health bar falls, right? Well, in this game, you die, every time the game decides that you are dead. Look at this! I have my life, but I'm fucking dead! Most of the time, your attacks are not even registered, and when they do, it carries an eternity and a day kill the ninjas.

Look at this! What happens here, here? Oh- Wait, what? I just started his heart? That doesn't happen in the movie! Does it do it? I have to find out, I'm going to make a quick call, here. James: "This is a cinemasacre

video

, where the selection is the name of the game. This is James speaking, how can I help you?" Avgn: "Yes, okay, I just want to ask you a quick question?" James: "Sure! Go right forward." AVGN: "Have you ever seen the movie: 'Surf ninjas'?" James: (v/o) "Yes ... In fact ... (on the screen) I only had a conversation with a bunha friend about that.

Did you know that the costume designer was the same in Street Fighter: the movie? That would explain all the blue camouflages ..." Avgn: (v/o) "Okay, okay, look! Look, look! (On Screen)". In the movie, 'Surf Ninjas', does anyone start someone? Kano's style! "James:" Um ... no, I don't think it happened in the movie. "Avgn:" You see? I knew it! "James:" Hello? Hello? Wow! What ailer! "Then, back to shit. Ah, and guessed that? What button, do you think the jump button is? Take an assumption." Again. But this time, they took another step. Here, you must bring wax to surfer that gives you a change to give the tramp, so you can enter its alley.

All. After looking for hours for the last one, I discovered that you need to get a key, and then go to Hobo Alley and use it to open this door. This level is full of doors where you can't enter, so when I first passed it, I thought it was only part of the landscape! I had to play this level eight times. Checking every damn door in the city before finding it. And there it is, the last box. Wait ... What ...? Is that a naked pixelada lady? Well, that made it worth it. Next game. Well, now we have- Kang fu-!

Ookaaay! First, we have to talk about this cover. It is like a ... shitty pencil sketch of a kangaroo with sunglasses. And they must have been very proud of it, because it is also the title screen. And not to mention, at the bottom of the cover, the letters stand out: G-R-E-E-D. So, the company that made this game is called "greed." On the back, he says that this game shows the complete "possibilities" of CD32. Oh, boy, I can't wait! Okay ... Are you going to start? Eternity is needed to begin. I thought I was broken, because it remains on a black screen for almost two minutes.

But this is how the game is. Wow...! O-O-Oh, God! You could say this is random. You have a rotating ball, displacing photos of kangaroos that continue to tax, and then another black screen, then an image of a kangaroo, then another black screen, then the high score, then another black screen, and then another image of kangaroo. And then another black screen! I'm not joking! This is the real game! Ah, and is really showing all the possibilities of CD32. TRUE! You are showing exactly how shit it can be a game for this console. After eight and a half minutes, without exaggeration, I finally arrive at the home screen.

And, uh ... what? "Out of memory"? What does "out of memory" mean? Let me see the instructions. "Open the door, turn on CD32. Insert CD but wait for the closing door until the music has reproduced." "Close the door and the game will start automatically. Otherwise, it will not start due to an error in the CD32 that does not release memory as it should do it!" This is historical. Never ... Not once, I have had a game, where the instructions tell you: "By the way, this game is really screwed, so you will have to jump through all kinds of crazy hoops to work!" So now, I have to move my can of paint, open the door until the music has touched, close the door and appear in the can of paint.

This is not normal, but you believe it or not, it really works now. And after all that, all the loading screens and everything, turns out to be ... ... the worst game, of the whole stack. It's a. Pious. There is no style at all. It is a complete mixture ... of garbage! Each character seems to come from a different shit game! Fights in strange cartoon chickens, dragons boys with axes, umbrellas, giant wasps, slinkies and rebound balls, all in a realistic digitalized backdrop. As, T-is too much to assimilate, so I'm going to give you a minute, just to breathe. Okay ... ... are you ready to continue?

I have no idea what to do here. Simply jump, shoot a machine gun! Why is it called "Kang Fu", if Kung Fu is not doing? You have a machine gun! Pssh, oh, God. Oh, I prefer to be playing "Shaq fu". I prefer to play "U2FU" and "Robin Williams Fu". I thought I knew what the bad games were. I thought I was prepared ... but I was wrong. Oh my God. T-that game on the screen ...! That's ... i-i-i- I thought I had seen everything! But they ... use a true ... a ph-photus ... ... I-You, go from a cartoon ... kangaroo ... ... to a real image, of a kangaroo skeleton in the fucking desert!

There is nothing you can tell me, there is no evidence that you can present, that you could try in my mind, that the developers were not psychopaths, snorting the gallon of paint in my CD32 at this time. This was given a retail launch. People were able to buy this in a store! The fact that I bought it, now, is one thing, but what if you bought this when it was new? What if it were your only game? Did anyone really grow with this thing? Imagine the psychological effects! One more game: "Zool". Well, it is more or less the same as the Atari Jaguar "Zool 2", which I already covered before.

It is a basic platform game action game. It is so average that it doesn't even matter. I don't have much more to say about that, so we pretend that I didn't say anything. In fact, let's forget everything about the friend CD32. That is one of the worst consoles ... I have played. It is the equivalent of hyena diarrhea, and do you know what hyenas eat? The leftover remains of dead animals that predators did not want. So, imagine a hyena ... in decomposition of the intestinal tract, the liquefied death sauce of its shit ramp springs, and there you have ... ... the "friend CD32".

Fuck this thing; Look at it! Alright . Oh, it's true, I should have thrown this too. Hey? "WARNING: Does not reproduce track 1 of this game CD in any audio CD player." Hey? Why not? I have to find out.