Addiction – don’t let the bear catch you | Steve Gill | TEDxStanleyPark

Addiction affects millions and exists around the world in many forms, from self-destructive to severely harmful to oneself, loved ones, and society. There is a recognizable pattern in the spiral of

addiction

and through simple but powerful actions, weaken the

addiction

. I recovered from addiction and today. I'm an addictions counselor and when I think about my own journey, where I ended up and where it all began, I remember being six years old and growing up in a small town outside of Vancouver. I'm with my sister in ena and we. I'm in our parents' kitchen. I smell freshly baked cookies.

Nina, stand there if you see mom coming to sneeze with Nina in her place. I'm climbing on the kitchen counter. I'm opening the closet. There's the cookie jar. I grabbed the cookies, they smell so delicious, I'm thinking yes, success, I got my way, that adrenaline rush is exactly what people feel when they get into addiction, also a couple more things to remember, you always have one option, Nina and I steal. those cookies together, however, she didn't spiral into self-destruction like I did. I chose another path. A couple more things you should know. The early stages of addiction can start off feeling completely harmless.

Taking some cookies seems harmless. maybe you can't stop checking your phone to see who is messaging you a new update on Facebook a new like on Instagram I'm even actually saying that some of you are checking your phones. I can see it harmless until they can't help it. Even when you're driving for yourself, maybe you're buying it with your credit card maxed out, you can't concentrate at work because they're looking for the next big deal online, harmless until you're drowning in debt, that avalanche of Steal Some Cookies is It intensified for me when I turned to alcohol growing up.

I often had asthma allergies and spoke with this stutter. I always felt like I didn't fit in or belong, that I was on the outside, and in the ninth grade I started. drinking alcohol and alcohol became the solution and I finally felt part of something I belonged to and I drank during lunchtime, one lunchtime in particular stands out to me. I felt excited walking into a French class, but this time it was different because I was full of courage I felt like the man because I was going to talk to the prettiest girl in school so I sat behind her and as I sat down the room started spinning what happened next wasn't part of the plan projectile throwing up all over her hair needless to say we never ended up dating and I can, I can laugh about it now, you know, but looking back, it was my guilty secret, what?

You know? and my guilt turned to shame when the whole school discovered that I didn't notice. Understand then that that really was my downward spiral into addiction. For you, you may feel guilty about a harmless little secret and then it turns into shame when you start hurting others. You may feel guilty about watching porn and then feel ashamed when your partner. finds out and you lose trust and connection in your relationship, you may feel guilty for losing $100 playing blackjack or poker and then be embarrassed when your family finds out that you gambled your mortgage payment, the point is that if you don't let self-destructive behaviors shame leads to a change of identity you become an addict my secret was revealed I felt that shame I didn't stop I brought my family to my pain my shame led me to experiment with harder drugs lie steal steal cheap even my own loved ones and over time my consequences became losses that led to low self-esteem and low self-esteem.

I thought I was a loser, a failure who wasn't going to amount to anything. I think I was an addict and that's all I was. were going to be those were my limiting beliefs my addiction robbed me of any purpose in life which is the power of addiction in a simple definition addiction is a lack of meaning in one's life a distraction from the purpose of your life and just like that you have a choice To spiral down, you can choose recovery at 21. I wasn't an addict, my parents gave me an ultimatum. Treatment to eliminate it.

I chose the treatment. I was embarrassed, confused and really scared, and that's when I met this older Italian who had a well-groomed goatee. They spoke with a thick accent and one morning he walked into the classroom and shared his own story that in his own addiction he hired someone to kill his brother. His words shocked me. They moved me. He was my first advisor and he did two great things. For me, he taught me daily practices to maintain my recovery, which I will share with you in a moment. Anyway, he also helped me connect with my life's purpose.

Years later, I went to school, earned my counseling degree, and took a course on addictions. and in that addictions course I ended up with a ninety-nine and a half percent and well, of course I did well. I had a personal experience as a practical experience. I started working at a treatment center where I experienced many successes and failures too, you see. I wasn't entirely satisfied because the success rate for someone achieving a year of recovery is less than two percent in two years of my counseling career. I hid a dark period that I was working with for clients that I just couldn't move forward with one of them, my best friend from high school, Jay, and he eventually died of alcoholism and I remember his mother calling me one night crying and sobbing .

I will never forget his words. My son is dead and why didn't Jay understand it? I felt her pain and that night I went to sleep just racking my mind wondering angrily why she didn't get it and then how I got it and the next morning I woke up and I was in that dream state between sleep and wakefulness and I had this vision of this

bear

biting my ankle and I was sliding full of fear, running panic, I was looking ahead in the distance and emerging from the fog was a building, it was my counseling school and I woke up with my eyes bright with the vision, a understanding that changed. my life I have been sharing that dream in vision since I am here to share it with all of you today.

I honor, I honor my friend Jay, he has guided me to help others end his suffering. The vision of the

bear

changed me, it changed how. I worked with others in less than a year and less than a year after this vision I was achieving a higher level of success with my clients. Image of this Here I am a recovering addict who is now helping others end their addiction in the months of all this. Came to one of my proudest moments, the City of Abbotsford presented me with a Hero Award for my work in addictions. That vision had a bear on my ankle, the bear represents addiction and if you slow down or stop the bear will kill you.

My friend Jay in my dream vision conveyed the importance of purpose. My counseling school represented a destiny. My motivation for recovery. And I realized one thing: I would continue to fail my clients unless I helped them connect with their motivation for recovery. Let me repeat that I realized it. that I would continue to fail my clients unless I helped them connect with their motivation for recovery. Take Lisa, she is 16 years old, she wants to get her driver's license, that is her motivation for not doing drugs, another client, Jon, wants to stay sober to accompany her daughter. the hallway I always teach my clients to look forward because over time their motivation will change because whatever it is inside you that drives you, that moves you, your passion for recovery, could be different today than tomorrow, another client told him he was a divorced alcoholic. he hadn't seen his son in years his family abandoned him he couldn't stay sober for more than two days i told cam you don't have to suffer anymore he wanted his family back he had a purpose these are the three steps cam and others have taken simple steps but powerful and practice together first connect to a purpose recently I spoke at a treatment center and I asked how many of you came here to recover and how many achieved that recovery today everyone raised their hands for both of you These questions I said, okay, great, yeah You came to recover and you already achieved that recovery today, so why are you still here?

Because recovering is easy. The question is: why do you want to stay in recovery? Discover the purpose of your recovery by asking the right questions. Is your addiction costing you? Be very specific about the pain and also what pleasure you will get in your recovery. Be very clear about your destiny and your purpose for recovery so you can motivate yourself daily to something bigger than your addiction. Second, engage in daily practices. gratitude when you wake up embodies this feeling of gratitude for another day of recovery and move your body exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day which will increase your heart rate a brisk walk a short run even yoga class will release endorphins and improve your well-being service find a way every day to give back in some way one of my mentors Tony Robbins he says living is giving back third create a support system develop your sense of community and connection attend recovery meetings and connect with mentors where i have stayed in touch with the camera over the years he is a loving husband he has his family back full time career he coaches his son's hockey team and he is here today when things get better this september he will celebrate ten years of sobriety I won't stop you know if you are moving towards a downward spiral stop because today you can take control of your life remember you always have a choice.

I ask each of you to apply these three simple steps to anyone who is suffering in your life. life because together around the world we can stop addiction and we can end suffering why because recovery begins here and now