A Test to Judge How Good Your Parents Were

Strangely and rather awkwardly, it seems that no human being can grow up truly sane unless they have been deeply loved by another person for several years in their early life, but we are still learning what

good

parents

might actually be like. Here are eight principles of

good

parenting that you could use to rate them. A loving parent puts himself on the child's level, sometimes literally lowering himself to his level when speaking to him to see the world through his eyes. He understands that a very young child. Children cannot easily adapt to external demands and in the early days they must be prioritized and placed at the center of things, not to spoil them but to give them the opportunity to grow.

Loving

parents

understand that their young children's lives revolve around details that, from an adult's point of view, are very minor. Young children will be extremely happy because they can dig their nails into putty or have the opportunity to vigorously hit some peas with their spoon or say bar very loudly and they will feel extremely happy. sad because the rabbit lost one of his buttons or a page from his favorite book now he has a tear the good enough parent feels clever enough inside not to reproach the child for making a big deal about what he calls nothing It will continue the child in his excitement over a puddle and in his sorrow over an uncomfortable sock.

He will understand that the child's future ability to be considerate of other people and handle genuine disasters will depend critically on having had a large dose of sympathy. For a variety of age-appropriate penalties, a loving parent will know how to best interpret behavior that others might find quite unfortunate. The little boy is not only a troublemaker but has of course been very upset by the situation. The arrival of a sibling is not antisocial, but a small circle of acquaintances is especially comforting. He's not a nightmare, but he sure needs to go to bed very soon. This ability to give kind and imaginative explanations will continue to shape the child.

Thanks to the child's own conscience, he will learn the art of self-forgiveness. He won't have to torture himself for his mistakes. He will not suffer the ravages of self-hatred and, when he makes a serious mistake, he will not be tempted to take his own life. The loving parent will feel sane enough to allow a child to be a little weird for a while, knowing that so-called weirdness is actually part of normal development, he won't get nervous because the child has decided to pretend he's an animal or want to be. eats only red foods or has an imaginary friend who lives in the tree at the end of the garden, the adult will have faith in emerging sanity and the wisdom of exploring many possible options before deciding on the reason why he will be able to maintain the calm in the face of some tantrums and intense obsessions;

It will not be necessary to eliminate irreverence at all times; He will be patient with low moods and unperturbed by the precocity of adolescents. If a parent does not assign a child labels that can fix him on paper, he was just

test

ing. He will get tired of telling a child that he is the angry one, the little philosopher, or Even the kind will allow the child the luxury of choosing his own identity. The good parent knows that children may well hold on to one for a long time and I will never dismiss this natural need for reassurance in pejorative terms.

He won't tell the child to buck up and be a good little man or a nice young woman who can make me proud. He will know those who end up firmly attached. and able to tolerate absence are those who were originally allowed to have as much dependence and connection as they needed there will be few requests to be brave at the school gates a good father will not present himself as an incredibly glamorous or remote figure someone to whom the child may be tempted to idealize and reflect from afar, they will know how to be present and are very common and ordinary in the house, worthy perhaps but also, at times, spoiled, forgetful, stupid and greedy, eager to eat too much dessert, the good father will know that parents' quirks and flaws are there to remind the child that they must come to terms with their own humanity and also, eventually, that they must leave home and move on with their own lives.

A good father will know how to look very boring. You will understand that what a child primarily needs is a reliable source of calm, not fireworks and excitement, he has enough of these within his own mind, he should be there in the same place saying more or less the same things for decades, he should have Be careful to be predictable and eliminate the child's surprising moods. does not need a complete picture of every disturbance and temptation that goes through its caregivers Minds the parent accepts that mom or dad are roles and not complete representations it should be the privilege of every child not to have to know their parents in every detail the good parent does not He seeks a balanced relationship, he is happy to give unilaterally, he does not need to be asked how it went or what he thinks of the government's new insurance policy, he knows that a child should be able to substantially care for his parents for a long time.

The reward given to parents for all their work will never be direct, it will come from noticing many years from now that their child has just become a very good father. Simply put, love is the thoughtful, tender, and enormously patient behavior shown by an adult over many years toward a child who cannot help but be largely out of control, confused, frustrated, and bewildered, all so that over time he or she will become child can become an adult who can take his place in society without too much loss of spontaneity and without too much terror. and with a basic confidence in their own abilities and possibilities of achievement, it should be a cause of global consternation that, despite our many advances, we are still at the dawn of knowing how to ensure that we all have the loving childhood we deserve and how to overcome it.

Your Childhood is a book that teaches us how character develops, the concept of emotional inheritance, the formation of our concepts of being good or bad, and the impact of parental love styles on the way we choose adult partners.