8 of Dave Chappelles Funniest Jokes

grateful for that and uh, I don't read those letters. It would be nice if I did, but really it's like what am I Santa Claus? I don't have time for this like me. I have what I want to do, I'm trying to relax, read all these dreams and wishes of strangers, but then, but I read it, I had already opened it, so I read the whole letter and you know, the man who wrote this letter really loves me . I mean, they were very kind in the letter and then they described to me what it was like to come to the show, how excited they were. how much they were having fun and then they said that when I got to my

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about transgender people, they were devastated because it turns out that the letter writer was transgender.

Now I'm going to be real for a second as a policy you should have. Understand that I never feel bad about anything I say here and I would never admit it to you if I hadn't locked your phones, but it was the strangest thing, like when I read this letter, this made me feel bad, I didn't. Bad for what I said, he understands that I felt bad for making someone else feel bad, to be honest I don't even know what I said that upset that person. I have so many transgender

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, but I feel like it was probably this. joke that I'm about to tell you right now and it's not even that bad of a joke, it's a real joke, I mean, it's not true, but I had read in the newspaper that Caitlyn Jenner was contemplating posing nude in an upcoming issue of Sports Illustrated and I know it's not politically correct to say these things so I thought about it, I'll say it for everyone else, that sucks, you know, sometimes I just want to read some statistics, I don't know why you're going to put a man in the middle of sports page like this I just didn't think that was the place for it, but I wasn't saying anything like Kate and Jenna are a bad person.

I'm not mad at her for doing it, not even mad, I'm supposed to illustrate. If I'm mad at someone I'm probably just mad at myself, you understand because deep down I know I'm not strong enough not to look at those pictures and I don't think I'm ready to see what she's trying. to show me, caitlin, damn it, if you go through with this you better buckle up and go home, i want you to go all the way hustler style, do you know what healthy style means, missy, that means open your lips, how does she open her lips? this little dick and sad the show is behind the curtains I don't know what I said that upset that person you know I can remember when it all started was when I was doing the Chappelle show when I was doing the Chappelle show I just do the show and then on the weekends I like concerts and so on, so I'm doing a concert and there was a couple in the front row beautiful couple the wife the wife was obviously Asian you could see it in her face the husband was mysterious to say the least I couldn't pinpoint where he was from, caramel colored guy, very nice hair, but he could have been from anywhere in bangladesh, mexico, can't guess with a person like this, all I knew for sure about this guy is that his wife I could also see that in his face, no, he was laughing and having a good time and she was scowling at me on a damn comedy show.

I couldn't understand it and then I realized at some point that she was pregnant and I was. smoking on stage I said oh my god that's probably why she's mad so I started to put out the cigarette but then she hit me with one of those fake non-smoking calls so I kept smoking I thought to myself that that baby it would be fine, relax. and I tried to break the tension, I just asked her, I was all, I said, I go, hey, where are you from, anyway, and I realized that she was behind me, she goes in a very condescending way, she says I'm from California, if you ask my ethnicity I'm Chinese and her husband was great with this, he was like a Mexican brother, I said well, I'm sorry if I offended you by asking, but they are a very beautiful couple and lady, there is no doubt that they are going to give the hardest working baby this world has ever seen was born that's not bad he got very angry he got up to leave immediately but he didn't leave he just had to give me one last hint on the way out I will never buy one of your DVDs again Dave Chappelle said ma'am with all due respect the Chinese don't buy DVDs and the crowd went crazy we all laughed having a good time I didn't even think about it and then just three days later This lady sends a letter to my promoter telling him not to hire me more for shows because I was racist, uh, and I'm citing her as insensitive to the nature of my interracial marriage.

I thought it would be if she had done a little. With a little research, she would know that I am in an interracial marriage, that is true, in fact my wife is Asian, too surprised, I will see you at thanksgiving, but my wife is not Chinese, she is Filipino, so Yes, that's right, and our children are Puerto Rican in some way. there you go