7 Signs of Autism in Men (DSM-5 Symptoms of Autism/Aspergers in High Functioning Autistic Adults)

- Signs of

autism

in

adults

. What do

autism

symptoms

really look like in real life? Many of us don't look

autistic

on the outside, we wear masks, we have coping strategies, we appear to be "

high

functioning

", at least on the outside most of the time. For many years, I myself thought I couldn't be

autistic

, because all I knew were stereotypes and medical definitions. That's why it's not always easy to see how real-life behavior matches official diagnostic criteria. So today we're going to link those two. We'll go over the criteria, the seven visible

signs

of autism, with tons of everyday examples and a special focus on adult men.

Autism in women goes very unnoticed and deserves its own video. So check out the links for specific resources on that topic. Even restricting the topic to adult Aspie males is still very broad and I won't be able to cover it all. If you're new, my name is Paul and I found out he was on the spectrum at the age of 30. On this channel, I make weekly videos showing the human side of autism and occasionally share my expertise in emotional intelligence and relationship coaching. So you know what to do, hit subscribe if you want to know more about that.

So let's get into it today. We're taking the diagnostic criteria from the DSM-5, which is like the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic rule book. The diagnostic criteria are divided into two main sections. The first is persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction. And the second is restricted repetitive patterns of behavior, interests or activities. There's some medical jargon in there, but don't worry, this will all make sense pretty soon once we get into the examples. Okay, so the first section. Observing communication and social interaction. So number one is social-emotional reciprocity. And what this looks like is being socially awkward, not necessarily doing it wrong, but just awkward, unsafe and unnatural.

It is often difficult to start a conversation or talk too much with us and we don't know when to stop. We may forget to say things like hello or simply leave without saying goodbye. Hating small talk is also very common, not knowing how to start a conversation and then going in like a hose full of information and facts even if it's not appropriate. We are often out of sync emotionally with a group or crowd. We might laugh at inappropriate times or not react when things suddenly get serious. We often have delayed or suppressed emotions, we always seem cold, calm and collected on the outside at the time, as if nothing fazes us, but much later, it comes to light in different ways, possibly in a breakdown or shutdown.

So this is part of the reason for the myth that autistic people lack empathy. We still have emotions, but many times they are expressed differently or even delayed and come to light later. So because we don't respond socially and emotionally to what is expected, we are often misunderstood in that sense. So number two is non-verbal communication. Alright, this looks like it has a weird way of interacting. Sometimes it is not easy to identify exactly what it is. It may be a matter of not making eye contact or overcompensating by making too much eye contact. It may be having some strange body language or a strange tone of voice or a strange way of speaking, as if the person is being sarcastic.

Sometimes it is impossible to know. Facial expressions can be difficult to read, if they exist at all. Some of us have what they call flat affect, which means we have very little facial expression, right? We can seem like the grumpy cat even when we feel good, and that confuses other people. And this is the main problem with this, what the person we're talking to feels is that they have to work hard just to figure out what we're trying to say, right? We may look upset, but we sound happy, right? And it's hard for other people to know what's going on with us.

This often makes neurotypicals stressed, anxious, and uncomfortable just interacting with us, which is a bit ironic, not unlike how many autistic people feel a lot of the time trying to crack the code. neurotypical. So number three is relationship management. This is the big one. This is the one that can most negatively affect our lives. And then we realize that we're 50 or 60 years old and suddenly we have no job, no partner, no friends, no family, and specifically, no skills to go back and start fixing some of these things. So, what will the situation be like before reaching that catastrophic stage?

Someone who has difficulty developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships seems like an overly logical person who simply doesn't understand people. It's hard to imagine how normal people might think and feel. That's why we often make mistakes. Social faux pas are common. We take things literally. We answer rhetorical questions. We lose the subtle complexity of social communication and can ask really basic questions about social expectations, like, "Oh, it says formal dress code." "Does that mean I have to wear a tie?" Like that kind of thing. I often go against social conventions. Do I really need to do that?

Isn't that just a stupid social rule? There is often a big difference in our behavior when we are tired and can no longer maintain performance. Being hypersocial or even just socializing regularly when we're out, and then completely crashing when we get home, right? This seems to be all or nothing when it comes to periods of intense connection followed by sudden emotional withdrawal, which seems to come. Out of nowhere we lock up, we go silent, we forget to text anyone. I see this a lot in my relationship coaching. Sometimes we go weeks or months without making any contact and then we just hope to pick up where we left off.

I know I did this for a long time without realizing the damage it was causing to my relationships. So the second section of the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria is restricted interests and behaviors. So number four is stereotyped or repetitive motor movements. So this category basically covers all types of stimulation, right? Things we do because they make us feel good. We actually need to stimulate ourselves, we need to give ourselves sensory information for emotional regulation purposes, but from the outside, it mostly looks like strange or repetitive movements or behaviors. In reality, the neurotypical population also has stimulation behaviors.

Sing, dance, move your head to the music, right? Ride a swing or a roller coaster, get a relaxing massage, but autistic stimming is basically anything that's unusual enough to seem weird or strange. It could be things like singing, humming or beatboxing to yourself, constantly quoting your favorite TV show, moving your body because it feels good, clicking, tapping, pacing, rocking, bouncing, stretching, playing with your hair, clicking, probably already Said clicking, scratching his skin, looking at a lava lamp. The list is absolutely endless. So to give you a specific example, you may notice that in some of my videos I do these types of movements with my shoulders.

And I do it because it's like they're never comfortable. They always want to be stretched. They always want to be moved. And it seems a little strange because it's something that most people don't do. Another personal example is that I often swing my legs and I like to move my head a little. So if I'm out in public, I put on headphones, pretend I'm listening to music, and suddenly it's socially acceptable. Okay, number five. We're in the home stretch now. Insistence on uniformity and inflexible adherence to routines. In other words, someone who loves rules and routines, right?

We all have habits, we all have routines, and sometimes autistic people take them to the extreme. We can eat the same food every day, I made a video about that, wear the same clothes for years, organize our time down to the smallest detail or we just don't like change in general, because our routine is amazing and adapts to our needs. needs. It needs so much, that something new probably won't be as good as what we already have. Insistence on uniformity is often

high

ly correlated with anxiety and the desire to live in a safe and predictable world.

We just want to know what is going to happen so we can deal with it. No unpleasant surprises. We love rules because we can understand them, not like the complicated and dangerous social world that often makes no sense to us. Well, number six is ​​very restricted and obsessed interests. In other words, having an uneven skill set. We often have intense interests and excel in a number of specific areas at the expense of knowledge and skills in other areas, especially in common things that seemingly everyone else knows. So, we can leave you thinking something like, how can someone so smart be so stupid?

He seems to have a fantastic memory for some things, but not others, and needs constant prompts and reminders for seemingly basic things like saying hello, for example. We often notice small details, and sometimes we obsess over those small details. And we often find it difficult to switch tasks too, right? We often have a very long transition time and instead prefer to focus too much on one thing and get back to it, at the expense of all the others. So you can see that the things we like, the things we do, the things we put into our routine, we tend to be very good at, and other things that are more difficult, like the social aspect, tend to get poorer and poorer. because we do not practice them and we do not like to do them.

Number seven, the last one, hyper or hypo reactivity to sensory information. Most of us have a very atypical sensory profile. Common examples include eating only simple foods, not liking fluorescent lights or annoying high-pitched noises, an aversion to touch or strong smells, often coupled with a very high tolerance for other things like constantly spinning and not getting dizzy, or other things. for the style. . Personally, I avoid shopping centers because of the light, sounds and smells, for example, especially and increasingly, the video posters that have been placed almost everywhere these days and that show me from all directions.

That's terrible. And the worst thing for me personally is the perfume holes they have in big shopping centers. I make no apologies for covering my nose and mouth and breathing through my shirt if I ever have to cross one of those. Well then. There you have it, seven outward

signs

of autism, according to the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria. We had to be socially awkward, have a strange way of interacting, be too logical and not understand people, stimulate, love rules and routine, have an uneven skill set with intense interests and finally, sensory sensitivity. Now, a quick note on a very important topic before we continue: Don't try to convince someone that they're on the spectrum.

I don't care how obvious it is that he is autistic. It's a deeply personal thing to realize you're on the spectrum, right? It is closely linked to our identity as a human being. It is something we can discover for ourselves in a positive way, not something that an unqualified friend can impose on us. I personally have friends who are obviously on the spectrum, obviously tick all of these seven categories and I don't tell them because it's not my place to tell them. If you do that, the message you will probably inadvertently send will be something like something is wrong with you, everyone knows it, you know it, everyone else knows it.

And this disorder explains what it is, right? That's not a very useful message. In fact, I understand this a lot in my relationship coaching. How do I make him realize he is on the spectrum? Most of the time the answer is: don't go down that path. There are much, much more effective strategies for creating the intimate relationship you want that don't involve forcing him to accept the fact that he's on the spectrum. Almost all of us have problems maintaining healthy relationships, right? It is criterion number three on the diagnostic list. We all struggle with that. The good news, however, is that we can really learn these things, right?

My solution, the one that worked in my life and the one I teach others is essentially learning emotional intelligence, right? I could go on forever, the world could use a lot more emotional intelligence, right? Because learning these skills allows us to manage ourselves and build healthy relationships. That's exactly what emotional intelligence is. So, I want to encourage you, you've probably tried generic advice, but it probably didn't work. We are unique individuals and need to find our own unique solution. So if you're struggling with these things, or you're dating an Aspie and need help with your relationship,You can find more information at emotionsexplained.com.au and learn how to build the relationship you want.

Okay, so I really should stop there before launching into a completely new topic. Criterion number one, say goodbye. I've never been good at saying goodbye. So thank you, I think that's what I'm supposed to say. I hope you enjoyed this video. Remember to subscribe if you liked it and we'll see you next week. Bye bye.