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You Thought I Wouldn't Roast "EASY A"??

You Thought I Wouldn't Roast
okay hello how is it going troublemakers it's so good to have you back for another week Julius Caesar joining us famous guests just do me a favor just don't don't bring up like the stabbing stuff he doesn't like it he's PTSD you know so just and that stuff dad you're this I could be better you know if I had some arms yeah has any arms they had amputate his arms because of the stabbings yes I kind of did a little refresher I've seen this movie before what was it after a little white lie about losing her virginity gets out homework why she did something too like she liked to start a study session to help people get

easy

A's Wow okay I had reacquainted with this movie Amanda Bynes is in this remember that Kamsa Gandhi's here as well there it is there is his name Kamsa Gandhi have a slight obsession with Cam Gigandet cuz he was on The OC and then he was in this guilty-pleasure fight movie called never back down I watched that that's probably movie I've watched most in my entire life invisible to the opposite sex sex hmm you're not invisible to Jim Carrey this is a message for Emma Stone Emma I think you're all the way beautiful and if I were a lot younger I would marry you Stanley Tucci's here the touch there are two sides to every story and this is my side okay I'm listening and by that I assume you mean yes shots they really tried to make him look powerful by having the camera down at his dick a couple weeks ago she...
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asked me to come camping with her family and I don't know why I didn't want to go a little because I didn't really feel like hanging out with her all weekend I'm not that is not the sound of boom makes hitting a face totally lost her feet him no I didn't yes you did she's like no you did I was there I was in the room as you were having sex you didn't see me I was behind the coats fine we did it yes piling on lie after lie it was like setting up Ginga hello Amanda I think was this one of her last movies before she really fell off she's coming back Oh though she's getting her life together good job Mandy who calls her Mandy better really no one ever that seems dangerous he just threw a whole spear into the crowd give it up no one jogs the accelerated velocity of terminological inexactitude ah I understood one of those words and that word was of every I don't know I understood the eye as well and there's only six words there I am literally in first grade I had to count I couldn't count on my head I had to point to the words as I counted them I am a child okay I understood 33% of those words - what a 6 I know math I'm at a third-grade level with math so my obnoxious way of saying that lies travels fast did he get a phone call about Emma Stone losing her virginity say hello what news have you for me today who who got boned over the weekend I'm looking for the characters that are way too old to be in high school every movie...
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there's always high school extras who are way too old to be in high school yeah and you're Mary Ann we've had nine classes together since kindergarten wait do you look like a really good memory or something or are you obsessed with Tara oh who can't seem out of classes you have of someone since kindergarten there's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency chunker's why does that feel like an iconic line but this isn't funny at all wait is Amanda Bynes secretly a lesbian this is the part where you're supposed to stick your tongue in my mouth that's what I've heard anyway oh wow they voiced over according to my watch you have 382 of them how do you do that dad so fast oh she's gonna bath - hey welcome to the club girl maybe later on we can go to the math lab and do some math ah there's no such thing as a math lab I don't know it's not really a meth lab I'm not inviting you to a drug house I touch what's up - two because I don't know any teenage boys who have ever run away with a big hulking black guy read a for adulterer why is there an A for adulterer adulterer it starts with the you adulterer well if you have a test on it rent the movie but make sure it's the original not the Demi Moore version where she talks in a fake British accent and takes a lot of baths say that one was freely adapted is a bit of an understatement Guv'nor who is this movie critiquing another movie you really have to...
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hate a movie in order to go out of your way to criticize another movie in your movie get a wardrobe you abominable how many really really sorry sorry you said it oh sorry you got caught got caught how would she not get caught she yelled at someone in front of an entire classroom or people if I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe I get a bonus do you want to keep the girls at the pipe detention off to school tomorrow detention maybe I was a good kid but detention was never gonna

thought

for me do kids actually get detention it's a real thing maybe just didn't happen in my school oh hey sad burns it didn't happen all right your secret's safe with me a little sex monkey what friend would behave like that if a friend of mine was like eh I didn't have sex I'd be like okay I won't be like a yellow rascal I gotta take off but you do you do good at school okay what letter did the word start okay yeah this really isn't funny what would my punishment have been otherwise no dating yeah no no parents we can't talk about punishments for our child because we are good parents then I let you actor pirates perfect it would take boys away from you prepare we know you don't date why are you what to eat that pee like a cigarette what choices that's what choice is that huh he's not real she's wiping stuff away in these giant stuff see that's funny startle jokes huh all my jokes are subtle by having the camera down out...
as a dick what an ugly car don't drive a beetle I'm sorry if you drop a beetle you should just go now I would judge her but if I was a girl I'd probably the same way I probably have tiny tits though I'll be proud tiny tits is there an olive here there's a whole jar of them in the fridge oh I was looking to make it olive joke you took it from me mom I know I didn't like you there's a young man here to see you he said something about asking for your hand in marriage I hate quirky parents there's nothing worse than quirky teenagers except quirky parents the boiler room boy boy boy boy just repeat things they had worms whistle laughs God quirky parents are the worst but you want to go out with me what you are on crack all right and not the good kind what's the good kind of crack this is not the answer had a screen saver her friend does she love her friends so much that she made her friend the screen saver and she must really love her parents to have a picture of her parents on her desk I love my parents they ain't getting desk space I'm just saying now Oh time for a snack hey what do I got Reese's Pieces that all of these brandon know what the hell great okay alright I gotta lose peaches get back here peaches what are you doing she's just a jacket off Oh jacket off I

thought

cuz you know do you smell that yeah she sounds like a porn star faking it all the way oh yeah I feel great oh yeah wait was this the guy from John Tucker...
what are you doing here your cousin's rehearsal dinner it was a quick rehearsal I only had one line oof that was a joke no how's everybody oh wow how did that not register you're right now the people who would love this movie are gonna be like no the all the jokes you didn't like before we're funny you just weren't smarter enough to get them yeah maybe you went to high school and got some

easy

A's and you should have got

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F's your stupid dummy that's a different image of her and her friend it man she really cares about her friend which is wild cuz she's like I don't want to spend a weekend with you which started this whole thing I dated a homosexual once for a long time actually what tell me you did not marry and have children with him your father is as straight as they come a little too straight if you know what I mean have you seen The Devil Wears Prada are we positive he's fully straight yeah you can go god quirky parents man what are you doing you're a jealous virgin people

thought

I was a dirty skank fine I'd be the dirtiest skank they'd ever seen okay the music's a little too spot on right now who would do this like everyone thinks I'm a even though I'm not I'm gonna make him think I'm an even bigger or she's putting a lot of work into this - she's sewing I was gay once for a while we gave during the time when you work for Meryl Streep is that the time that you were gay Stan you...
have to get to the beauty department and God knows how long that's going to take okay there's a meme god I know they make it seem like high school boys are just completely powerless against sex like they see a hot girl there's something slightly sexual and it's pass out where's camp there's cab my boy cares you God bee does anybody here think they can talk to her in a way that might get her to see what she's doing is wrong camp good can will Kim Kim this is so stupid it's not marrying that's not stupid it's real it is real it's real just like my love for you came so hard because they keep doing it over I'm just waiting for a cam to speak I'm not even listening so what amanda bynes is saying sing a song cam don't shut your mouth bro I can't sing I heard better guitar playing ever I haven't this is phenomenal lovey-lovey nice solid joke never solid good joke good joke sideburns he told me the truth I was just hoping that maybe he could do the same for me I'll give you a hundred bucks you are repugnant a hundred bucks he's like 115 she's like deal I'll give you $100 you aren't disgusting how about 150 deal I'll take it I'll take it you got cash you got cash on you right now maybe spend that hundred bucks on a razor to shave your upper back I got $50 from TJ Maxx so that Eric Ling could say we got it on during chemistry mmm man talk about having some chemistry olive penderghast went from...
assumed trollop to an actual homewrecker to understand this puritanical ostracism the Hawthorne wrote about really attempting to understand this puritanical ostracism the Hawthorne yeah she just wants to understand the the pure ostriches whatever I don't know what it is about Nina I hate her but don't worry he's a quirky teacher is for awesome I've never seen that girl before in my life kid brought a knife to school yikes it was a better knife oh well how is that gonna do he's gonna butters and bread what are you gonna do with that butter knife there's something that you want to talk about you know you can trust me hello ha guidance counselor's like you could trust me and you didn't even know what the student existed the day before you can trust me I have your best interests at heart what was your name again do you go here Oh what's up camp are you okay what's going on I love her as an actress I'm and abides oh hey slow down slow down you might be a lesbian texting in class where Jesus wants you to be doing that chlamydia don't hit lobbies cancer God thank God woman your friendship was so short-lived get out here terrible best friend I tried to blame it on their divorce but my mom is not buying it oh hey so the guidance counselor I know yeah but partially because I've seen this before maybe it's somewhere of my subconscious but also excuse me not even the school board or the present of the Americas good line cam no...
because at the beginning of this she said she became an actual home wrecker and we always seen one people married one people's married one group of people's together in the Institute of marriage and it's of to her parents I guess but they're too quirky to ever break up oh gee I think you're supposed to use that kind of language in front of a student yeah you know what else you're not supposed to do is sleep with them but that didn't stop me goddamn I'm not I'm not I'm not judging you I'm judging you I am you know you should know that my marriage is not great okay we haven't slept together in like in months in month okay you don't need to tell a student that okay well at least this time illegal cuz he's like literally 20 if he failed the high school four times I could have chlamydia yes this is the only time someone said I could have chlamydia to someone else and the conversation went better good note but think how I could have come up with better son you gotta love the Quiznos guy who even likes cuisine hahaha believe it likes Quiznos subway Jimmy John's pot bellies pot bellies you definitely just looked at her ass at the Bible oh oh that's in bestsellers right next to Twilight Twilight just comes full circle Kamsa Gandhi wasn't Twilight I've been asking me to do things and I

thought

it was okay because it wasn't real it was make-believe mm-hmm just like my chances of actually making my hopes and...
dreams come true just make-believe don't look at me sorry Mon come on no pastor is gonna be saying that pastors are super welcoming and chance they have an opportunity to convert someone they're like coming my child after we watch the bucket list remember to cross watch the bucket list off our bucket list ah funny joke Stan but you kind of look like a strip a high-end stripper for governors or athletes that's funny good job Stan - then let's bucket list this bad there's a line I would say maybe want to go out or something just stick our heads in the oven if we run out of things to talk about huh Wow yeah this formats is gonna go really well considering you was just introduced and he didn't understand her joke this should go well here real gentleman nah just a guy having dinner with a girl ship that a whole pirate ship what is sexy about slurping back Easter's nothing okay he's like I don't know what you're talking about besides of the male sex organ ah he's just about to sneeze he's not listening you just say ah Choo in bloody discharge am I talking too much no no no yeah no we're about to eat and you literally talked about bloody discharge from my penis that's our magical connection I should just take the entire school haven't you I've got something for you 200 dollars to the Home Depot get a power drill girl actually you know what get some rope a shovel duct tape head out to the woods with this guy stop dude...
punch him in the throat with a knife lease launches gift card at him at his face at his face at his face okay yeah the best part about this is you can't return a gift card sorry screwed who's gonna spend $200 at the Home Depot dude you're in a parking lot of a lobster shop you know sometimes I pretend you were my first real kiss when you're kissing your pillow or your arm or something God you knew how I felt about you uh how do you feel I felt past tense I don't like you anymore that's rough that's rough here's the woodchuck why don't you chuck his wood into your vagina I don't know I don't know I debated myself for a long time whether or not to say that like this he

wouldn

't know she doesn't know should I say no she goes I know no part of me thinks like I'm guessing this story because I'm just so good but then the cynical part of me is like you've seen this before bro you're not really guessing it because you've seen it but I forgotten it so I'm not sure okay well we see how the sensual high out of this girls are almost SMS boys oh yes they are your wife has chlamydia and she's sleeping with a student and she gave it to him and she's trying to blame me what maybe prep him by being like hey t to talk to you that's not something you just barrel into a room you might ask Lavinia cheating on you and she doesn't love you gotta go I was wrong to tell you that in that way yeah yeah this is...
problem I am so sorry no you were right telling the truth just prep just look prep I had a horrible reputation and people said awful things about me oh yeah is that what made you quirky I was quite the contortionist I could do this I mean hey stop stop that's kink don't mix up quark and kink but remember less these women these are these are women they're not children they're not high schoolers I found the people I found the people who are way too old to be in high school it's all of them how does the principal not shut this down already what a douche I might even lose my virginity to him you know maybe five minutes from now I'm a lot more yeah he's gonna ignore her he won't divorce her he'll just ignore her that's his punishment for his cheating wife oh so this is what you wanted wait for it something special happened on a tractor with mr. sideburn I laugh of that tractor didn't have the horsepower to get over the hill I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from this movie and that lesson is don't be a I'll see you guys