You're Only A Man If You Have This. Corey Rodrigues - Full Special

if my girl i forgot $200 worth of tools that would be like returning them and getting me playstation games sometimes i feel like i'm not a real man like no no that means so many different things nowadays. I mean, okay, no, because people like me knew that his shirt was looking a bit off right now. I

have

man parts. I just want to say no. lots of dress socks, when do you get all those tools? who buys until someone has to go oh i'm looking around

this

room right now there are a lot of people here with tools you

have

tools and look at your face the way you sit now of course yes yes i know what you're doing is i got to face

this

garage working at his workbench putting things up he has fun doing it no yeah exactly not me you also have a light on your workbench dont of course not me yes its not a gift Christmas satisfactory for me in all no no no I don't know how I have three tools I have a philips screwdriver I have a flat head screwdriver and I use I use my girlfriend's suppliers true let's hope you know how you mask late it's for your girlfriend but you did I returned my pliers and i thought i was going to use them again don't worry i'll put them back the weirdest thing that ever happened to me after it shows one time i was leaving the show and was telling people this i don't have tools.

I'm leaving the program. This lady follows me to my car as I leave. Excuse me, honey. Excuse me, honey, can I talk to you? I didn't even know she was talking to me nice Oh like I was yeah she was like you don't have a hammer how you don't have a hammer baby when you weren't tight-fisted all three tools but um it's me hammer. You don't even have a hammer, honey, how do you survive without a hammer? Oh my gosh, how do you know anything? Hammer, but she was kind of annoyed, it was like bothering her. me, Hannah, right, and I'm like, you're really following me, you weirdo, right?

We get to my car and I'm like, yeah, I don't have what she was, she just waits a second, she runs to her car, she comes back, she goes. I always keep two hammers in his one takes the hammer A lady gave me a hammer after a show I took the hammer acting like I was really grateful so oh thanks no now everything is fine I didn't have the heart to say it like I did a hammer, stupid, he's fine at home, okay, he doesn't have a hammer, okay, I just didn't tell you guys, I have a hammer, but of course I have a hammer.

Hey look at the 101 house anyway, as I started to walk away I started laughing to myself just thinking. how stupid i was because she probably went back to her car and made a call like yeah hello yeah i got rid of the hammer. Second time in Utah and I like it, guys. I'm not saying they get a bad name, but they are way better than what people say about her name. I like it here. I like it here. I found out they have the best. Chinese food in the world apparently real neighborhood place next door they say what do you want to eat it was like the best chinese food was here it says it up front so let me understand what could go wrong everything could go out.

Incorrect Chinese food, but I ate quite a bit of that food. I'm happy though because I stopped in and ate the best meal of my life. I stopped and had a McDonald's which is social. I don't think any adults eat McDonald's these days and when I'm done eating it, they're like it's delicious. I think even when the kids eat McDonald's it's like my stomach hurts, but I want to go back tomorrow. it doesn't even have to reach your stomach do it i have to start doing mix shots what is this? running as i got to the bag of as i know there were more chips in this bag where are the rest of those chips? then i moved to take a nap and went off the road and found that little burnt piece of crispy fries.

What I'm talking about, baby, right there, my meal is complete just before today. I haven't been to McDonald's in six or seven months and I was cleaning my car and I found some fries between the seats, yeah so the fries. They look better than the day I bought them. I thought, how come there are no bacteria on these fries? Do you know how bad a food you have to be for mold to be like Palin? eat that. That is horrible food. you eat the fresh i licked one of which was still salty i didnt eat it though i was like this is super salty yes i was telling one of my friends about it the way he liked you i felt chips in the middle of my shoes of seat like you find fries she was like i found a burger between my seat she likes a burger i was like a wrapped burger she was like not just the burger i said she loses a burger in the middle this is how dirty your cart is you can lose a patty I've never once been to McDonald's having the cheeseburger and the meat fell out from between the bun and I kept eating it like I guess this is just a ketchup on your cheese and mustard sandwich that's No there is a problem with some people's car.

Some people's cars are dirty. Some people may lose a pad. Hit a car. Never go get into someone's car. step on everything don't worry about it just go in and step on those things you step on like aquafina bottles and all because the coffee comes like those squishy things that drip on your feet ok i feel like they always have one important thing in the flow don't step on that my application throws it on the floor it's my FAFSA sorry I left it on the floor people's cars are disgusting they feel pressure when more than two people ask them for a ride hey I'll agree - they like it, give me a second, we See you in the car in five.

I have to clean up all that pain behind the passenger seat that they just throw back. cat ok so one girl has both back to the girl squealing girl back there ok ok so happy to have both that's good your car smells great i guarantee she'll laugh a girl just you she lies sitting in the car, says: oh, dog, she got wet somehow. I don't know you jumped into a lake I don't know what happened you'll be riding someone's car with a dog and you like it and you know they know it stinks in there but they're waiting to look at your face so you see when you open the window you know when you're sitting there you're waiting and eventually like i can't take no more beep never mind three degrees off you like i can't breathe it stinks here it's ok i kinda just tried i'm not ok i want fresh air if you have a dog and i'm in your clean car Kinda your car that's all I'm saying I don't want to get out you're like open the glove compartment I have one of those Roly things so you can take off all the things just clean the car before I take it out wipe it over my clothes okay it's the last strip no people with cats and dogs it's funny man how many people don't like cats clap your hands if you don't like that how did you feel raise your hand if you're one of the people who said you don't like cats why don't you like cats cats there is no purpose right the no purpose really how evil is this guy how cat's purpose is to serve him like he is here for you right what do you mean no purpose?

I like talking to someone, but when you ask someone about a dog you like, do you like cats? No, I have a dog, there is no purpose for cats, right? able to like two things like i like some republican views i like some democratic views ok we could do that i like black people and i like the police remember we could change the world we just have to like one thing forget that man i like how cats it's funny not like dogs how crazy with cats and dogs it's like it's weird when you like to yell that you like a cat not just witness you i'm saying anyone like if you're in a bar it's almost like once you picture mike as a freak you walk away from him but people will show you their pup all day but kid can't get a cat off a bar if a guy takes a cat photo. in a bar to say that he is disgusting stay away from that weirdo with three cats on his phone I have a friend who always says that I don't like cats because they are mean and because they don't listen to you they do whatever I want to do I feed them I give him water I should be able to pet him when I want like that's really not how it works if you wanted your job every day and your boss was like Steve come here maybe we'll be a couple of days we like it don't touch me today I don't want anything just have personality no you can bribe them with treats all the time you're going to pay they're no good right someone's dog you just throw away the treat the dog can be fished on the list the dog is really very well trained the dog how you are like hey look what i got boy it's like let me run here real quick and he just talks to his owner like he's I'm going to go here real quick and see look try I'll be right back trying to take someone's cat like that your mom tree under the cat cats like Yeah, stay away from that, we're underground and stay away.

I'll come back and smell it and decide if it's safe. Dogs just give me a treat. Oh give it to me of food put water in there it's fine if the water evaporates or you drink too much open the toilet do what you have to do to put more water in the house the cat will eat and drink for a week the cat will be fine there will be food left when you return, the cats they say wow, how was your trip? I think you do the same thing with a dog before you go up the block that the dogs say, hey, they really thought it was Thanksgiving.

I had like five minutes. I thought it was a gift. he put so much in there once i thought it was a donkey christmas hey stupid come home the dogs already ate half the sofa yes i was hungry man i thought i thought you were gone forever you must not have pets sir you have a dog i just missed him respect your dog too much what did I nail your dog?

only

dog ​​what kind of dog do you have Labradoodle oh that's a cute little dog non allergenic right oh I said little sorry well I'm here at a stage so I'm still right it was a bit daddy I was like up here thank you Labradoodle a dog so confused no its like a big size big tough but like its a labradoodle poodle my friends have pit bulls and a couple of my friends have pit bulls one of my friend jay tonight has a couple pit bulls she gives scary but her instagram is scary whose dogs aren't beautiful no it's

only

people who have pitbulls are the ones who are like they're the best dog in the world you need to open your heart like i won't trust you since a fire cause i have a couple of friends this its what i have a couple of friends who love pimples and i go to his house and actually one of my cousins ​​and i go to his house its so scary because when i showed up at the house the dog was already waiting for me on the screen like a right and i see him in his living room like a scream let me in i was like the doors open just come in i was like nah man won't you come over?

Let me in right because the dog is destroying the screen. It's like dog sitters do anything. He just walks in. walk next to him right now so angry he comes to the door come watch out touch the dog to see another dog obviously he hears it because he feeds it so the dog looks like a monster to me. La Docena supports my god César Millán. alright go ahead your dog back off dog back off he's coming he's like a man at heart i stay real close hoenn' league right on his ass when we walk into a house it's like you gotta chill man , the dog can smell fear I was like well he can definitely tell this P is running down my leg right now.

I'm scared right now. I'm afraid the other dog has picked you up. Why is she telling you because the dog never sniffs an area? i worry immediately when i get home the dogs i'm trying to act tough that's ok dog ok i'm so scared the dog hears my heart beating right now i'm a friday - right now it's always weird when people say things like that , like acting a certain way, acting tough like they say the same thing about bears, like there's a bear attacking you in the woods, you play dead. I'm like, what are the ratings of bears to know if you're dead? because I'm definitely going to him he's slapping me I'm definitely thinking like that means why might I keep my eyes closed when I do that here's a beer slapping kinda like me the bears just got slapped I'm like I'm the best charades player we messed it up who steals like a clever bear just puts his paw on your neck like he still hasn't got a pulse I don't know things I think about I grew up with my grandfather my grandfather came from North Carolina as a third grader moved here has had may has all the tools you can think of you can fix everything water heaters plumbing floors and roofs everything you can do all that work third grade education when you moved here from north carolina you came to two barbershops three houses third grade you can't even say three says one to Shree Shree Tree.

I'm like, what did they used to teach these two? I still look at the brown wires many times when I do things on my watch the ground wire here how does he know this? Havea college degree if i lose wifi i can't fix anything if i can't upload youtube nothing will ever get done ever watch a youtube video you say oh that's too advanced for me right? have you ever watched a youtube video and they are like listening before doing any electrical work in your house everyone knows you have to go downstairs and turn off the main power supply.

I'm like no one knows I need to watch another video leading up to this video. I thought, but I could use rubber handled tools to get the job done. coffin because i got electrocuted like you should have known even sad for me idk i'm not stupid even though i feel like people are judging me right now i don't need to watch videos of stupid people ok i'll let you know how their would be video is ok, before you do any electrical work in your home you want to get out of the bucket of water, i'm just saying i'm not fluent, contractor, that's all i'm saying, i recently learned how to do it. hang the pictures correctly Six months ago I learned how to hang the pictures correctly I've been hanging them for years well correctly without the pressure I feel when a guy is like you me banging on the wall you can't hear it I start to sweat I'm like fine I'm supposed to to hear something because I'm a man the people around him would be like he heard it but I'm telling you right now I never hear it.

I'm talking about I hear it now well I don't hear it that pressure people like that picture it looks a little low for this room don't you think they come and start judging my pictures all over the house don't you think that's a little off I'm like you move us all the holes behind him you shut up this is a secret you may not know The 85 therm tax will hold your tv for five minutes I have tried many shortcuts even though that was a long shortcut it will fall but for five minutes you say wow no no it didn't stay sometimes you have to admit as a man there are men who are more manly for you you have a guy standing in front of your car and make the engine rev from the front see you got up of your car like, you like it, what are you doing, it's like, don't touch the accelerator, oh gosh, there are some of you who look at me like that's no big deal to me.

I'm like I'm a magician, look at him, worker, what's playing the head joint? Was the catalytic converter knocking? I don't even know if those are the correct parts. doing that but what's under her fingers is like she's been digging graves with her bare hands and cutting portobello mushrooms all week what's under your fingernails is dirty hard work that's what's under my fingernails well you've got working hard to clean your fingers looks like getting a french manicure with black tips what's that please my friend joe is like this every time i come to his house he says you want something to drink.

Don't touch my ice. Can I have a drink at your house without crude oil? Is it possible that everything I drink has a rainbow film on top down? He always says that he will make it difficult for you. you're dead, that's oil, are you thinking that nothing bothers him? A little steel stomach. Many people are never affected by germs like germs. I am not a germaphobe. like

full

blown like i can't get into the world i'm not like that but i don't like to see germs like once i only show someone shaking my hand i had a great time and why was the guy leaving to shake my hand, he said and sneezed yeah oh okay thank you my people right he's gone but he didn't mean to but he said oh man i had enough and he was leaving but i was already moving on I couldn't stop the momentum and then we locked up and I was like oh, it felt like my arm was on fire.

I'm so over the top somehow. I felt between his fingers. It was the strangest handshake. I think why he is wet between your fingers. it's that disgusting handshake my friend said oh it looks like it's all a big deal that's a big deal I don't care if germs attack me I don't want to see them no I don't need to see them. hey that's gross i think people are kind of gross. I realized that people including myself need to wash your jeans more yeah hahahaha yeah yeah woojae let people see the jeans you know couple times a month you know once a week, even wife, you use such tricks. you need to wash if you ever pick up your jeans it's not a button be like who's gonna wear my jeans the shack in these jeans is right this can't be me what i sat on these don't even sound like me yeah cause you left your jeans on for too long because by the time they feel right it's like you've worn them a few times and now they're perfectly stretched out because when you wash jeans for the first time things like that are worse when you wash me for the first time like ah I don't like the shape in which they sit and then give it like three days you think that's what I'm talking about but they see people wash their jeans like the winter coat never lasts.

Tell me what you want. they lose their winter coat before they wash it hide that coat for two years and it just disappeared i'll go home and look at your coats in the closet right now this is provos it's cold in here it's cold this time when it's cold outside if anyone asks you why directions where is the tripod is there faster marriott where is oh past the mary of I can't wait for someone to facebook me later and tell me yeah I had a few things up my sleeve. You were right. How many grandparents are in the room?

Grandparents have no respect when they take care of their children. you know it well, they do what they want to do and you can't say anything because you're like it's free so you have to let it happen. I'll be sure to give the second to all four. I'll give you the other at 7:00. I'll give them to them as soon as you leave. They're like you ain't got none of that, kid. I have raised 7 children and they are all doing well, right? Come back, the children's eyes are swollen, how are you? Hey, I raised you and your siblings, and you're alive. it's that you're alive yeah yeah I'm a little messed up seniors need to be stopped at some point listen keep going before a second army dies or something ok I just think they should do some kind of test before that you buy certain electronics, old people don't know how to use anything, have you ever been after someone in your life, have you ever rolled with a cell phone with that stupid default ring all the time, do you even know that they are ringing in this time is that my phone why is it? relax there's a salad button on the cell phone press the side button my grandma is on the phone about people bragging about me using a remote as a kid you should see

corey

use that remote the other day he changed the channel on someone else room i'm like mana you could also change the channels if you stop pressing auxiliary and press the cable button you could change the channels to my grandfather who used the microwave hear how to use everything that puts a microwave that pushes 43:33 no matter what make it pop-tarts ramen noodles 43:33 he came into the kitchen the other day he was reheating the fish and chips and he had one of those white styrofoam containers yeah he put it he puts 43:33 I said this is going to be good.

I like the 15 minute mark. The vessel collapsed after the 22-minute mark. He went back to the kitchen. He was looking in the microwave. I remember putting cheese on it I said it's provolone cheese grandpa that's provolone and I watched every bite - I don't care he has to learn he knows that's not cheese he knows that styrofoam what kind of cheese do you cut those wouldn't catch up day at pepperoni look you'll hear that fudge cheese said I thought it was my cell phone ringing I said see technology at a certain point we got to a point where we know where we stop as you get to an age really like I don't care about that anymore right ?

Just stop, start watching it in school, it happens in school from the beginning, no matter how smart this teacher is, no matter what he teaches if they have to wind up a TV or there's a TV that needs to be turned on they say oh no it's working fine and there's always someone in the room saying yes you have to plug it in off hours don't you have these devices at home? Enter the classroom that they like, I don't know, it doesn't work, I can't rewind it, it's the one that goes like this, the thickest arrows, something happens to you, I don't know at what age, I don't know when it will happen to me, I just wanted it to never happen. like I hope it never happens I hope I'll always be like I'm ready to do it right because this is uninspiring when you see someone like 87 and they're like they got an email. like you get an email cause most of them like me don't do that i just pick up the phone you're like that's why no one answers when you call just text us sometimes they don't know how to use it you have to be careful with a smart phone if you don't know how to use it you have the right giant font that giant font they can't see i called them three times i have to call my grandma three times sometimes i know she is there ok because she has to go through the whole process of finding her glasses hanging on her neck she's looking to put them on and then look at the phone this she has to get a pin for whatever reason she's not even writing anything but never what you were trying to find my glasses in my frying pan telling you something write just in case i was in a flight three weeks ago going to west virginia i go there a lot i do shows there and i was going to go to work at a university there and i'm on the plane and the funniest thing in the world happened to me i'm sitting next to this older white lady she's in the middle I'm at the IOC and I look at his phone and he has the giant font says this is a black guy sitting next to me right now yeah right now someone would say you should mind your business and not be looking at a phone.

I'm like you should hide your business. It's okay if you take out a phone or a book around me I'm reading it for a second to be okay I'm safe okay everything is okay okay I have to check you out for a second I don't care I'm a beaker I'm peaking so when I saw him as a black. I said next time I'm like oh this is crazy what's the next text? Send a text, well we're taking off, taking off, we're in the air wheel and everyone's put their phones back on everyone's phones. like what someone answered.

I look at a phone. Nobody wrote anything. I'm like, oh, I'm so lost. He wanted to know what that meant. the font was because she was old so you know the font was like a thousand she writes three letters on every thing it was like there was one i had to like it took me a while to scroll and see what she was writing but i I wonder at this point what that meant. Was it bad or was it good? I don't know what his conversation with someone was before he got on that plane. How is she? guy sit next to me and she just text someone like that black next to me like me oh is she like black ass next to me if i miss the plane yeah you face like what was I thinking?

I don't know yet, I just want to do a show once and someone says, oh, that's my aunt. She does that all the time. girlfriend is she's white okay okay so the thing is I'm figuring out how you feel about it anyway okay so diversity anyway let's keep going this is such an eclectic crowd I feel like the Half of you could tell them about Facebook. and snapchat and i feel like the rest of y'all wait put a shelf back to show up love Sammy Davis the Candy Man can he he has a dance tonight oh what is he doing Anyway the reference was a bit old for some people some people like who the rat is some people like what snapchat what's that snapping face what's that I hate it when someone older messes it up . in person i was on that face chat you like you know the name you have an account you have an account look sighs all the people try to insult you but then they want you to set them how do i have friends you like? get away from me you didn't like me a minute ago how can i have french writing on your wall? ridiculous stuff is coming man we want to make sure you're here to see Nana this year you like can't you write that? my wall please can't you do that?

What about that? How about you put it in a message? I did it. I would send it to you. Oh my wall. I don't even want to do this. I don't block them. I unfollow them because I can't take it anymore. You're like negative people in real life, but on Facebook they're like everyone loves everyone. in real life you're the worst person i know the dark cloud over you all the time but on facebook they're so old the joys of the world well anyway the girl the girl i'm with her her family to go to jersey shore yeah i told you i live in boston so she likes her friend to go to church so its a great vacation destination we all go to lpi long beach island its a crazy beach everyone is on the beach so i thought i was going crazy its going to be a party its not right this is whats going on we are going to rent this house for a week and the whole family and then wewe wake up like 6:00 in the morning and they take all the things out of the house and bring them to the couches on the beach chairs cancer food sandwiches yelling his mom like you have a bookie she's going to need a book honey you have a book he is going to need a book or you have a book he is really going to need a book you have a book i was like why do i need a book, he said, because we are going to be here all day. point our mom looked at me and asked if you're having a good time, honey.

I said: yes, I am having a good time because I am respectful, but I was not. on my back at 10:00 the soles of my hands on my feet I'm already Tara how long will we stay here her dad for the third day her dad is always peeling on his forehead he's peeling on his nose like me don't you know how did i join? You don't really know how you got the oven yet. What happened to the Sun? Did he cheat on you this year? Somehow she hid behind the moon and it just came out like burn baby burn jump behind the moon and go. his brother always takes his little pasty arm puts it back next to my arm prays like the second day how look at me brah Moustakas your home is back here i really do you know how scared you would be if you woke up one morning that only the right side from your face was my complexion like a white nigga one of the days i'm sitting in what everyone has said give me 250 putting on the bottle of Sun so you give me 250 when i go and putting on the 50 whatever he starts laughing slap as a brother he says why are you putting my sunscreen on i say why are you laughing because you're putting on sunscreen i was like yeah why are you laughing goes why don't you get over it i was like yeah i need it he was like why did i say why me why what do you mean why this is skin what do you think what are you lying if I relax I didn't think you knew I grew up they can blacken it would it meets them scream I was like you growing up learning it was like it was simulated in my brain somehow clearly not racist way I'm dating you right now so it's like I don't know oh you know what's wrong the way I see it. in your faces i feel like you're looking at me like that's a problem blacks need sunscreen what's wrong with you? what do you think happened to Morgan Freeman's face? all those chocolate chips on his face from his kid it's not genetic it was anna so no sunscreen put lots of sunscreen on my face another time you know how I am.

I don't like how guys are supposed to be tough all the time, sometimes when they're that tough, sometimes we're afraid of things, but we can. I don't admit it all the time maybe like six seven months ago I'm in my house and I'm on my girl's second level for the next dream and I hear something downstairs at the front door I hid well so the first thing What I do is pretend I didn't hear it. I was like, oh, I was afraid that she would get hurt. I said baby I said wake up I said and look at it she was like what i said downstairs i won one from your phone get ready to go to the movies come down and look she said what are you talking about huh sit down i won one on your phone get ready she was like i heard you so why do you keep making me repeat myself she says you make me repeat myself when i ask you things i said are you really going to fight me right now?

I do this all the time because I sometimes hit things at night, but only when she goes to sleep. It's like she heard something right. The house cannot continue to settle. I'm right because I watched a lot of scary shows, forensic shows and they always thought that the house was settling down, but someone was there so much that someone is here this time. Anyway, I'm telling this story to my friend and he's kind of waking up. their girl get up when they hear noise like who wakes up wake up the woman here and i was like i woke up a row i said women are the same ok then help me i hate when i watch the movie there is only one woman in the closet cool put down the closet i am fighting with the intruder help me we are equal in this right if i die we die we get together romeo and juliet in this house in fact anyone who answers come out of the closet there help dad i dont even have a ten year old what if yours is on visit that day for any reason?, or you will die or be a hero, so you better come and help.

It's not fair. my house they put a gun on my mom like what's her safe number i'll be like i'm in the closet she has the other half of the combination come on baby i can see your feet come on seriously it's not fair to think about it just like a man if you hear a noise in the house and your wife is sleeping you can go on the black baby i hear a noise downstairs i'm going to go check it ok take a look and go back to sleep i might never work at upside down she could never come to you while you're waving honey i hear a noise downstairs i'm going to go check it out you like to check it out and you go back to sleep you're not even a man anymore you lose your man card you could be born with a lie that's all twisted being born doesn't even matter she hears a noise like hey wake up you have to jump out of bed with that lame leg jump into your wheelchair get in your wheelchair go around the stairs get out of your wheelchair go into the another part, there it takes you down the step all the way down, trespassers like Darius, my friend was fine, man, what shenanigans, who was coming in, I was like, I didn't want to say. he i feel so stupid here is the thing so we have two cats with me immediately let me tell you first i want to say i made soup that day and the soup spoon was still on the stove and i was looking at the cats they kept alternating the jumping on the stove and licking the spoon and every time they seemed to lick it it clicked off the stove like click click right click but when you're scared you're looking at a lot of forensic file projectiles it's not like someone's breaking their hand and I swear to the to this day she don't know where she watches this show no i guess now but when i came back upstairs i was like babe she's like what happened she's awake now i was so embarrassed she was like what happened i said as soon as i got down the stairs.

I heard her car shut off. She said: Are you serious? I say yes, I'm serious. I said now lie back and relax a bit. I have relaxed with those PlayStation games we were talking about.