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World's Most Dangerous Band Comedy Segments on Letterman, 1987

Jun 07, 2021
this show this show should air around 10:30 on Saturday morning that's when this show should air some cartoons we have a clown that comes out people hanging around uh Dear Dave, letter number four starts every weekend during the last month. I called up each of the three local rock stations and asked to listen to the Sultan of Swing on the Straits newspaper. Everyone says they'll play it, so I spend up to four hours listening to the radio, but they never play it, at least not while I'm listening. Could you play The Sultans of Swing on your show and help me get back to those damn DJs?
world s most dangerous band comedy segments on letterman 1987
Honestly, you're Cindy Sherwin Raleigh North Carolina, well, you know Cindy. I would love for Paul and the

band

to play The Sultans of Swing for you, but as you know, if you watch the show, the

band

doesn't play any songs until they are at least 20 years old. Oh, wait, wait, wait, the problem has to be, I don't think that's fair, come on guys. I think now wait a minute, I think you know, things are like that, it's all fun, but wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, I don't think, wait a minute, wait, guys, this has happened before. up Paul Paul Paul Sid Will Anton Dave fudge eh come on yeah okay some fud come on yeah yeah help yourself there you go you know as long as it never happens again yeah okay get some fud, there you go guys, thank you very much. a lot yeah one more yeah there you go okay yeah good guys around 10:30 in the morning we will be sponsored by Flintstones Vitamins and Kool-Aid and that kind of thing Mattel will be a big sponsor of the show , uh, letter number. three Dear Dave, Does Paul have any particular role on the show?
world s most dangerous band comedy segments on letterman 1987

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world s most dangerous band comedy segments on letterman 1987...

You don't even bother to ask me Jay Jacobs Hudson Ohio well I guess PA Jay you're being partisan here uh he's not only our band leader Paul but he's also our handyman's staff advisor and spiritual advisor and uh, that's it, isn't it, Paul? You do all those things, anything else, yeah, that's it, no, there's a function, uh, uh, that I really should never have tried to fulfill well, what's that staff? Barber who does it. There's only so much I can take now wait a minute that's it now Paul look Paul look what you've done, you've made Sid angry wait a minute wait don't worry I can handle it oh Sid Sid lemonade Sid come back sure I think maybe I'm going to need some of coffee, okay, letter number five Dear Dave, uh, I was in a restaurant the other night and I saw a very well dressed man with a beautiful blonde, could it have been Paul eager to meet Don Sherman, Rondo Beach, California, Uh, yeah?
world s most dangerous band comedy segments on letterman 1987
I don't know Don Paul, were you in a restaurant the other night with a beautiful blonde? Well, uh, I was at a restaurant, but I'm a little concerned about Don Sherman's description of uh, my dinner companion, uh, if I remember correctly, it was after the show one night and, actually, the more I look at it, I like it more, yeah, that's what my wife did, so it was probably the night Don Sherman was, yeah, well there you go, that's what it is. beautiful blonde Don Sherman thinks you're a beautiful blonde he said you're beautiful baby you're beautiful Anton Anton enough is enough Anton don't worry he said he'll grow up in a while hey, don't worry, how are you? a little fudge with that lemonade yes sir, okay kids, welcome to Friday night.
world s most dangerous band comedy segments on letterman 1987
Yes. Dear Mr. Letterman, I regret to inform you that his show has been canceled. Please leave NBC on when you clean your desk. Sincerely, Kenny Hobs Stanton Kentucky, wow, did you hear that? that Paul the show has been canceled we have to clean the desk wait a second wait a second letter says we have to move you mean this is how it all ends they cancel us and you just clean your desk as a kind of little whim you know something comes in I've been here 6 years I don't even have a desk let's face it we've been treated like trash we got baby if we're going to leave let's take a piece of this place with us not now what what exactly what exactly what are you saying exactly Paul I'm saying that Let's throw this garbage away oh no, no, no, no, no, I don't think so, no, I see, I think wait, wait a minute. what what two how yeah yeah Hal wait wait guys yeah Hal what's up?
Hal, we looked into this guy Kenny Hobs from Stan Kentucky, right, he's not with G or NBC, he seems like some kind of anchorman, oh, you see, that's it, that's it. a misunderstanding oh yeah, I feel terrible, yeah, well, I'm always exaggerating, it's just a hoax, thank God, thank you, it's okay, enjoy, I feel silly about it, anything that's good, that's it, you know, I'm, I'm glad we weren't. It didn't get canceled right when we got the fountain up and running and everything you know, uh, right now Paul. We were supposed to do this small town news deal where I show you silly little things from the newspaper, but the truth of the matter is that I'm tired and tired of doing small town news and, frankly, I have things that I have to do, so I thought maybe this would be the perfect opportunity to bring in a substitute to take over and do the small town news for me while I go out and attend to my personal matters I'm going to bring a substitute to bring a substitute ladies and gentlemen please say hello to the reg just filan reg just come thank you for helping me this is what we are going to do just take a seat here than here, this is U.
I don't know if I know that you get up early so you probably never have seen on small town news. These are all very funny little articles cut from small town newspapers. The top line, that's the newspaper, that's the configuration and that's the. finish off and just do three or four of those and there's the band and Paul will help you, this is the audience and ladies and gentlemen. I love them, yes, what a delight. I want everyone to give Regis the same courtesy while he's here. here completing what you give me night after night I like this and I'll be back reges good luck and please be nice to him thank you very much for the break I appreciate it very much sure good luck have fun what A wonderful guy, news, okay, but first , can I make one of these?
Oh nothing, thanks a lot anyway, here we go folks with some small town news, now here's article number one and this comes from the Hendrick County News Indiana. This is the first fire hydrant installed. and on the list just look at the house prices on this, they are going to skyrocket, this must be one of the newspapers, say, excuse me, excuse me, please can I help you a little? Well, we're usually, you know, around this time of the show. Dave lets us go to the police station, oh really, yeah Phil, he let us go, but I'm sorry, Dave didn't say anything about that.
I'm afraid they will have to return to their places as good boys. come on we get there we'll find out now to point number two here's something from Tate County Democrat Sena Mississippi it's a classified Ed it says two wedding dresses and VE for sale very reasonable sounds like Willet Scott had to cancel. an incredibly fun party that we are incredibly sorry, sorry, that's very distracting, we're just talking, we're just talking here, well, you can visit each other quietly, but only during the commercial and please put out those cigarettes. for you it was a smoke oh, I find it very hard to believe, you know, when live at five across the hall there is a live substitute presenter, they behave very appropriately, yes, okay, okay, who threw that?
Okay, now we can stop the whole tape. and we'll do the segment again and it would help you, we'll stay here a little later, yeah, no, I need it, I want it, I warn everyone to show up and be nice, guys, wait. just an apology, what is it, what is it, what is the noise, I tried my best but I just can't control those animals well, no, re, just no, don't be too hard on yourself, it takes a while to get there. How they get used to this kind of thing, Dave, I don't understand, you know, it's usually nice and quiet here, look how nice they are now when you come here and tell jokes, everyone listens to you, yeah, thank you, thank you very much for helping us.
I had no idea hosting a show was like this. Well, it's okay, don't worry. Reg. Very discouraged. Dave. I'm really very discouraged. Letter number five. Dear Dave, We have some GE washing machines in our dorm room for doing laundry. I lost about $5 on those machines because they always break down. Can you help me get my money or something? Help me Steve Killy and Wake Forest University. Well, Steve, thank you very much, thank you very much for your letter and for thinking of me, but you know. I'm afraid I can't really help you with those machines in your dorm, they get used and abused a lot and are bound to break down from time to time, and I suggest what you do is contact your dorm's maintenance department, but thanks again. for writing and I'm putting up with it, wait a second, yeah, Paul Dave, what's wrong with you?
Don't you have a spine? General Electric, the people who run this network ripped this kid off, they took him away for five dollars. Wow, and there's no telling how many other smart college students have been robbed. Well, that's right, I'm not going to accept this. I will no longer accept this garbage. I'm sick of this place, Paul, wait a minute, what exactly are you trying? to say what I'm trying to say yeah I'm saying let's go to the trash this time oh no no Paul I don't see oh no it's just that I hate oh now this is oh guys wait a minute I no no we don't No wait look it started a fire there, for God's sake, wait a minute, wait, wait, yeah, wait, how, wait a minute, oh, wait, wait Paul EXC Hal yeah Hal Dave yeah, we just got a call from the University Wake Forest oh they just got a call from Wake Forest yeah how they don't have Steve Killian sign up there what wait a minute wait a minute they actually say the washing machines are from West Germany well then what's up with the letter?
Hal's probably a hoax a hoax Paul look at Paul the letter was a hoax just a joke well for God's sake I feel a bit silly I let myself overreact you know? It's not crazy? Sorry for this mess, well, yeah, well, you know, I think at least we learned. something we did, we learned something, what have we learned, something good, I think we learned that you should wait until you have your facts straight before vandalizing a television studio, that's right, that's how we did it, it has a happy ending after all. Yes, that's a male spectator, more or less, let's come back here friends, card number two.
Dear Dave, what is it like to be famous without knowing it? Liz Low's Long Branch New Jersey, well, Liz, you know, people imagine it to be very glamorous, but always being. recognized it can actually be kind of a pain in fact every time I go out in public I have to wear this costume here this is the only way people will leave me alone and then I can go anywhere I want just walk like that It's not a problem for me. I just put on this simple little costume. Come on, wait a second. There is no problem.
What the hell is going on with this? What's happening? Paul. I've worked on this show for six years only to be insulted like this it's just it's just a joke can you relax? It's just a joke It's a little cardboard cutout I put it on my face Just a joke We all enjoyed it I'm sorry you're a myth But it's just a joke So why don't you just relax You relax letter number three You relax 'cause I'm out of it here I'm out oh don't you relax and don't you know with a wire coming out of your shirt in the middle of a show that could be important you've got a wire coming out of here get yourself together and man wait a minute Paul wait a second I know how handle this, Paul, look, look, Paul, Rice Krispy squares, Rice Krispies Squares, freshly baked Paul, there they are, oh, okay, okay, just this one.
Let it happen, thanks boy, there's a joke we never get tired of, hey, I want, what lyrics are we doing now, is it three or four?

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