THE 7 SIGNS YOU'RE BURNT OUT, NOT LAZY (Change Everything In 2024)| Rangan Chatterjee

One of the worst things in life is when you don't have the right energy. Sometimes you don't want to get out of bed. You're struggling to finish that to-do list. You feel trapped. Every day you feel like you are in it. on a treadmill, you don't have the time or energy to connect with your friends, your partner, your kids and I have to say I've been a doctor for over 21 years and this is one of the most common complaints I see. People feel exhausted, they feel tired, they are really struggling with their daily lives and one of the big problems is that they feel that the problem is them, they feel that they are being

lazy

, that they have no motivation. or willpower have you ever felt this way maybe you feel this way right now maybe someone close to you feels this way you know the truth is that almost everyone is not the problem they do not have a laziness problem or a strength problem of willpower or a motivation problem when they complain of this type of mild fatigue.

No, this is a sign that you are on the path to burnout. Burnout is very common nowadays and to be honest, it is becoming more and more common. As the work pressures of society begin to increase and I have seen this, I have experienced it myself, I have seen it in many patients, but what I do know is that I can help you identify the

signs

of early burnout. you can take some very simple steps that will make a big difference, so what I want to do in this video is walk you through the seven common

signs

of burnout and keep an eye out for these signs because I think a couple of them will really help you.

If that surprises you, then what I'm going to do is walk you through my own 10-step action plan that you can put into practice over the next 30 days, and if you do it, I know it will make a big difference because these are the steps that I have taken in my own life before and these are the steps that I have helped my patients take in their lives and all the things that I am going to recommend are simple to do and completely free now before you get to the first sign that I believe It is very important that you be careful with yourself and the people around you.

I just want to be clear that burnout is not something that happens overnight. Burnout is chronic, uncontrolled stress that lasts for days, weeks, months, and often lasts for years. It's insidious, it increases over time and the problem is that with burnout a lot of people don't realize they're going through it until it gets really bad and I want to prevent that from happening to you, you know you may now be in the road to exhaustion. I want to help you identify it, stop it in its tracks so you can make some

change

s now. I think it's very important to understand how stress works and your body's stress response system fits with burnout, right, stress isn't all bad, you need some stress to perform well, let's say you're at work. and you have a presentation to do, do you want some stress? it will help you perform better your brain will be sharper your memory will be better your concentration will improve these things are fantastic, they will help you in that meeting and if you have time afterwards to relax Rest, recover, you become more resilient as the stress begins to take its toll. your nervous system, that's good, that's how you develop resilience, but that's what happens in burnouts.

In Burnout, you get stressed, you get these doses of stress regularly. but the problem is that you don't have time to recover and reset, so your nervous system begins to

change

. Think of it like a rubber band. You have a rubber band, you pull it a little bit and then you let it go and it comes back. its normal shape, that's great, that's what you want with your stress response system, but if you keep pulling it several times a day, week after week, what happens, the shape of that rubber band starts to change, it doesn't come back. , That is what happens.

It's happening with burnout and a lot of the signs that I'm about to go through, if you think about that rubber band, I think you'll really understand why they're happening, so now I want to walk you through those seven key signs that I found a and again indicates that someone is burned out or on the path to burnout and then once you've looked at these seven sides, I'll give you my own 10-step action plan that you can begin to implement. Practice for the next 30 days, which will start to make a difference right away, so stick around for the action plan at the end.

The first sign is that I don't hear enough people talking and it's disconnection, disconnection from the people around me. You're right, so when you're on the road to burnout, when that rubber band starts to change shape, you go inward, you don't want to be with other people, you don't want to be with your partner, you don't want to. being with your children, your co-workers, you just want to be left alone and often engage in quite unhelpful behavior and this is actually very toxic for a variety of reasons. I mean, number one, we now know from scientific research that feeling lonely is just as bad for your health as smoking 15, that's five cigarettes a day, so why would that be right?

Let's think about it. Let's say you lived a hundred thousand years ago if you didn't have a supportive tribe around you that you were vulnerable to. attack that is a threat and your body knows it, so your body is very intelligent, if you feel isolated, your body reacts as if it were a threat, because if something were to happen, you don't have your tribe around you, so it's going to happen. activate your stress response and that will lead to all kinds of problems high blood sugar fatigue low mood anxiety weight gain all kinds of things just from feeling alone, so there are some real biological changes that occur in your body when you disconnect from the world around you and of course it has a detrimental effect on your relationships and of course it's those relationships that are going to play a key role in getting you out of burnout.

The second sign I want you to look out for again is one that I don't think people are talking about enough and that's emotional exhaustion, right, we're going to get to physical exhaustion soon, that's something people talk about all the time. and it is important, but emotional exhaustion is a slightly different thing and often this is a very good telltale sign. You're on the path to burnout, so what does this look like? Well this could be that little things start bothering you, little requests from your partner that really agitate you, you know your partner asks you to make him a cuppa. of tea and you know it bothers you, you don't want to do it, let's just think that you feel good about yourself and that life is good, why would you be bothered by the small acts of making a cup of tea for your partner?

It's not like that when your body kicks into high gear when you start getting agitated about these little things, it's a very, very good sign that wait a minute. Something is wrong here. Maybe you need to address something. This is also shown cynically. We become cynical. We become cynical. about the world, about the people around us, about our colleagues, you know, we see something online, we start talking very critically, we think that the worst of people, this again falls under the umbrella of emotional exhaustion and often , this also manifests itself as small outbursts of anger that we can Keep calm at work, we can keep it under control because we want to appear professional, but when we come home and maybe it is our partner or our children who take the brunt of it, it which, of course, is not how we want.

So pay attention to this emotional exhaustion because I think it's one of the most important signs to watch out for. The third sign is a lack of creativity, and for some people this is the telltale sign and often goes unnoticed. Let's say you're at work and if you're on the path to burnout, your work performance will almost certainly start to decline and one of the ways this manifests itself is with a lack of creativity, you can't think of new ideas. you can't solve problems,

everything

starts to pile up and take over you, but lack of creativity can also show up in your home life, where there are simple everyday problems to fix and solve and you have no idea how to do it.

This lack of creativity may well be a sign that you are on the path to burnout. The fourth sign to look out for is the inability to get pleasure from simple everyday things again. This is actually very common. The things you used to enjoy. to get a lot of pleasure from now on you find the mundane things you don't want to do them you want to stay in bed you don't want to do anything I mean have you felt like this before? Do you feel that way right now? Do you know someone in your life who feels this way.

You know in medicine we have a term called anhedonia that basically describes this and we see anhedonia in all kinds of conditions, including depression, but I actually see it a lot on the path to burnout. pay attention to this, the fifth sign of burnout is procrastination, when you repeat the same thing over and over again, you know what you want to do, you know what you should do, but you don't take action and often this manifests itself as an inability to make decisions you are weighing five six seven maybe ten different options and you can't decide this is procrastination and this again is a very important sign to look out for in yourself or someone close to you because it could indicate exhaustion before I get to two last signs I want you to start paying attention to.

I want to tell you about one of my patients that I saw a few years ago. He was a 37 year old guy named Stuart. Now the interesting thing about Stuart is that if we're looking in from the outside, he was crushing life, okay, so he works for himself, he had his own business, he worked from home, he worked in the evenings, he worked on weekends, he drove a car. sportsman, he earned a lot of money. Honestly, from the outside, people thought I was crushing him, but one day he came to my clinic to sew and told me Dr.

Satachio, I'm worried that I have depression, it's hard for me to get out of bed, sometimes I feel exhausted, little things are starting to bother me. I no longer have that creative spark that I used to have. I don't want to spend time with anyone and I'm also struggling to experience joy in my life, so I spoke to Stuart. He did some tests and they all came back normal and when I started to get to know him and ask him about his life, it became very clear to me that he spent all his time alone. I never saw anyone.

In fact, I said, Hey, Stuart, do you have any? Any friend you know, do you ever see your friends and he said, hey doctor, yeah, I have friends, but I don't have time, you know, I have a business and I see what they're doing on social media? medium I think that's one of the pretty unusual things about life these days. We often don't have to see our friends in person, but we can see what they are eating on their Instagram page. You can see if he is on vacation. We spend time on the weekends, we can see pictures of this, we don't really have to see them, that's what I told Stuart: listen, I think you need to spend some time with your friends, that's why the recipe I gave him was For the next four to six sweets I want you to make sure that once a week you see at least one of your friends in person and when you are with them what I want you to do is put your phone away so that you are truly present during that interaction.

Now, I'll be honest, it wasn't the recipe Stewart expected from me, but it was the recipe that I felt would have the biggest impact on his life. Stuart leaves, he's desperate, so he's willing to try this six weeks later. He comes to see me and feels like a different person, he comes bounding into the room, I tell him, how are things? He knows what's going on, he says, doctor. I feel like a completely different person. I have energy. My mood is better. my charm, things are really very good and I said to Stuart, what happened, what's going on and he said, doctor, what I did was every Sunday morning I would go to my local cafe and meet up with one of my friends or a group of friends. and we would catch up over coffee for about an hour, it was fantastic and then over the next few weeks I realized that I was never doing any sport well so my mates and I decided to play futsal after work every day .

Wednesday night, that was it, Stuart was absolutely right, he had no depression, he had no medication deficiency and once he had it, it was the friendship deficiency in his life, now Stuart really had his friends at his side. around, he was lucky that his friends lived near him but he was so busy that he never saw them and this is a very common thing that I have seen time and time again and to be honest I have experienced it myself before working so hard . In fact, I have forgotten to spend time with my friends and it has always come at a huge cost.

The reason I share this story is because I want you to know how quickly you can start making a change and I will do it very soon. to that 10-step action plan that will help you do just that, the sixth sign of burnout I really want you to pay attention to is when our self-care starts to fade, the right tochoosing food gets progressively worse, we eat more takeaway, we often don't eat, we eat more, we often stay up late in front of the TV, we are so stressed and exhausted that we don't want to go to bed, so we watch another episode of that box with a packet of crisps or some ice cream or some biscuits and I understand why you might want to do that the moment it feels good, but the problem is that it reinforces the problem that you have, it keeps you stuck in that cycle and makes it even harder to turn that ship around and catch you. away from exhaustion just so your food choices start moving your movement we often stop moving we literally go to work we come back and then collapse at home in front of our computer or on the couch we don't do anything that gets the blood pumping around our body and, again, that keeps you in a vicious cycle.

We also think about self-care. What I've seen when patients are on this path is that they stop showering, they stop shaving, brushing their teeth, these little things that are actually important to our self. our worth and our self-esteem, those things also start to fail and this is really ironic, isn't it? Because it's actually those things, whether it's self-care or food or exercise, these are the things that we really need the most in that moment that are the things that start to fall by the wayside and what's really interesting. , that case study of Stuart that I just mentioned over the next few months after we met up with his friends he started to regain self-care as he realized when he was playing football with Five on the side when he's 30, wow no I have good physical condition.

I need to go to bed earlier. I need to eat better so I can perform better. It all started with just seeing more of his friends and we'll get to that. plan shortly I just want to finish by giving you the seventh sign that I want you to be on the lookout for the seventh sign. I think it's the one we most commonly associate with burnout, physical exhaustion, you don't have to get up and go do anything. at work or at home you don't have energy for your hobbies you don't have energy to see your friends you don't have energy to spend time with your children or your partner and it's actually very debilitating now this type of fatigue often manifests itself as a feeling of tiredness and tension. you are tired but it's all in your mind so you can't switch off at night which starts to affect your sleep so this is a very good sign that you are on the road to burnout and need to do something different if you want to turn that ship around, the other thing you often see here is mental confusion, you have that confusion in your mind, you don't have that clarity of thought and you start to lose self-awareness, this is huge often when people are in those last moments. stages of exhaustion have lost self-awareness, they actually start doubling down on all the things they were doing that got them there in the first place, they work even harder, they stay up even later, they try to push themselves even harder so that the Lack of self-awareness is something we really need to pay attention to and that's exactly the main reason I wanted to do this so you can start to identify these signs in your own life, so now I want to walk you through these 10 steps. action plan that you can start implementing over the next 30 days and remember that you don't have to do

everything

right at once;

In fact, if you try to do it all at once, you'll probably feel overwhelmed, which is the last thing you need. right now, so just listen while I go through these 10 steps and think, hey, you know which one is one that I can introduce right away or the one that I might want to leave for a few weeks? That's completely fine, what's the right thing to do? It's going to be unique to you and what's going on in your life, but what I can tell you is that I know this is going to work, how do I know I've been a doctor for over two decades?

I have seen tens of thousands of patients and these are the exact steps I have used successfully with my patients to improve them, but I am also a human being with the same pressures as you. You know, I'm a busy guy. I'm married. I have two children. I have a busy job, you know, many years in my adult life I was my father's caregiver and in those years I put my father's needs first at the expense of my knee at the expense of my relationship. with my wife at the expense of time with my kids and I got to that place where life felt like a struggle and I was struggling with motivation.

I let self-care start to let go of all this kind of stuff I'd already been in. Talking about it, I've been there, so I know how hard it is, but I also know how quickly things can change now, before we get to the end. step number one. I just want to remind you of those seven signs that underlie all of them. what underlies all of them is a kind of learned helplessness, that's what happens in burnout, burnout robs you of autonomy, proper autonomy is a fundamental human need to make sure you're taking action after watching this video.

I have created a free breathing guide that will help you reduce stress, calm your mind, and increase your energy in this guide. I share with you six really simple breathing practices that work immediately, even just a minute a day will start to make a big difference to receive your free guides, all you have to do is click the link in the description box below , it is very important that you feel like you can make decisions in your life that make a difference and burnout takes that away from you, so this action plan will give you back control, right? get yourself off the treadmill and intentionally reengage with life, so the first step I want to talk about is awareness.

Now let me dwell on this for a minute. Everything I've been saying so far is about making you aware of the problem and people often say okay, excellent Dr. Chasis. Now I have a conscience. What should I do? I say: wait a minute, just hold your horses. Don't underestimate the power of awareness because the problem with burnout is that people often don't realize it. until it was too late I once talked to this wonderful guy Greg McEwen on my podcast and he has written these fantastic books on essentialism and effortlessness and he once posted a tweet saying that there are two types of people in the world: those who are sold out and those that are sold out.

I don't know, they're out of stock now. I think it's a very powerful quote. Do I agree with all the facts? Know? Can we say that everyone in the world is exhausted? No, but there are more burnout people than currently believe they are absolutely burnout. A while ago, this is exactly what happened to one of my friends, she didn't recover until it was too late and finally, when her husband took her to see her doctor, he had to take her off work. during three months. He couldn't go to work because it was so bad that he had to slowly rebuild his life from scratch, but actually, looking back, all those signs were there, emotional exhaustion, physical exhaustion, little things, too much self-care was starting. to dissapear. downstairs she was starting to stay up too late she didn't want to go to bed Netflix she was binge watching snacks certain little outbursts of anger all the things we mentioned were there but she couldn't grasp them and neither were the people around her so I want help you get to the point where you don't need to wait for that to happen now.

I am pleased to say that he is now thriving in all the things I am about to walk you through. that she did it she shouldn't do them all at once, she didn't do them all at once, she did them over a period of days, weeks and months, and now I think she has learned some very powerful lessons that will prevent her from going down that path again. Going forward, the second thing I want you to focus on is intentionally engaging with another human being to remember the first sign. I asked you to pay attention. The first sign that may indicate that you are on the path to burnout is to disconnect from the world. people around you and I have already explained to you how toxic it can be for our health and our happiness it is simply very unlikely that you will get out of this routine on your own you have to share this with someone you have to tell someone in fact you can be You are surprised when you share this with someone and tell them you will be surprised how many people in your life have gone through this before or who are currently going through it.

Well, it doesn't have to be for long. It could be the date to meet someone. friend on a Sunday morning at the local cafe like Stuart, who I already mentioned correctly, that's all it took to make that change from LED to all sorts of other positive domino effect changes, so maybe that's something that works for you, maybe it's your journal. sometime with your partner maybe it's a date night if that term doesn't resonate with you that's completely fine but the diary ends something regularly with another human being it's very important another tip that you might want to think about relates to intentionally interacting with another human being is to put some predetermined things in your diary one of my best friends in America realized that he and many of his friends never saw each other so they put something every Thursday called man Thursday basically there was a group of Eight of they decided that every Thursday morning, two hours before, we would get together, meet at a coffee shop, have a quick coffee, and then maybe go for a walk, hike, or to the gym, whatever. and the beautiful thing about it being in the diary is that you don't have to go every week, some days you can be too busy, that's okay, but you know it's happening, it's a routine, funnily enough I spoke to the amazing marathon runner Elliot.

Kipchoge on my podcast recently is the fastest marathon runner ever and he never trains alone, he never said we all run together as a group, so if I don't show up people will text me to say, Hi Elliot, what's going on? Okay, so there's something very powerful about putting something in the journal. This works if you are a woman. This works if you are a man. But I will say that this kind of thing is something we're seeing a lot in men. Men often don't prioritize those close, nurturing friendships that can really make a big difference.

Another thing certainly in the UK that is useful to people is something called the Park Run. Park Run is a community initiative in hundreds, if not thousands, of cities and towns every Saturday morning. people get together to run or walk 5K and it's not really about the running, it's about the community and a lot of my patients who are really struggling with their mood and their mental health, often they don't want to run, they go and they volunteer. and it gives them a sense of purpose in their lives it gives them a sense that they are important and it is important that they show up to do their part well so please think about it how can you begin to intentionally relate to another human being? to work for you and if you think there is someone in your life who is struggling right now and has stopped calling, not responding to your messages and you can't reach them, maybe that's what you're going through so maybe Maybe he can get in touch with his delivery and he says Hey, I haven't seen you in a while, you know you're probably very busy with work like all of us, but how about next Wednesday?

Do you feel like going for a walk at lunchtime or grabbing a coffee after work, whatever it may be? but this is actually very important, to intentionally engage with another human being, in fact, if that sounds like someone you know, why don't you pause right now and share this with them? The third thing I want you to focus on is your dream. Start prioritizing your sleep and we've already heard that when we're on the road to burnout, we often stay up late, we don't want to go to bed, we often feel tired and wide, but that actually creates the problem. worse the next day, so if you can really sleep a little more, I'm not talking about eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, which you may not be able to achieve yet, even if you can sleep 15 minutes more a day, 20 minutes more . a day that will literally start to make a difference immediately because when you sleep better, everything in your life is better, your physical health, your mental health and your emotional health, and one thing I just want to tell you if you are that person that I don't know, Let's say at 10 pm you're thinking, yeah, you know what's one more episode of this box set and you have some of the signs that I already mentioned that you're making a trade at that point that you might not know you're making your base that is. : I'm going to say it for an extra hour to watch this episode, but because of the impact it will have on my sleep, I'm basically saying I'll be less creative tomorrow. to be less able to solve problems I'm going to have less energy I'm going to crave more sugar and more caffeine we know that lack of sleep means you're going to have less empathy the next day, so you'reliterally By making a trade at that moment, you are willing to sacrifice all those things for that one hour box and I understand that.

I've been through this before, but I'm just trying to make you more aware of how important sleep is. There are all kinds of things I could say about sleep, but let me explain some of the most common things I see and the most common things you can do that will start to make a difference. Remember that you don't have to do them. all but the more you can do the better number one right when you wake up in the morning try to expose yourself to natural light right if it's a cloudy day you really want 20 to 30 minutes of natural light outside if you can On a sunny day you can get away with yours for five or ten minutes because that helps establish your body's circadian rhythm and will help you sleep better that night.

It's a really important point where people think about their nightly routine when they think about sleep. but a good night's sleep starts the second in the morning. The caffeine thing, I get it, many of us enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. I love my coffee, don't you? I'm not saying to quit, but the problem with Burnout is that you get stuck in a vicious cycle where because you feel tired all the time you are using more caffeine to keep going, which in turn makes it harder for you. sleep at night, so I always say enjoy your caffeine in the morning.

Look, the truth is that we all have different sensitivities to caffeine. It depends on our genetics, it also depends on how much stress there is in our lives and if you are on the path to burnout, by definition, you already have a lot of stress in your life, your stress load is very, very high and I have discovered a and again with people like this, with patients like this, you have to be very careful with your caffeine intake, so I would say enjoy your caffeine, but keep it for the morning. The third thing I want to say about sleep is If you are going to enter a deep, relaxing, restful sleep, you need to start relaxing about an hour before bed.

One of the big problems today is that our devices are our work devices and our pleasure devices. You know you can have a laptop. or a tablet and you can do all your work on it, but you also relax on it at night and what many of us don't realize is that our brain is an associative organ, right? It associates certain things and certain places with certain activities, so if, for example, you're used to writing emails in bed with your laptop, your brain starts to associate your bedroom with work and emails and that's one of the things you do.

The main reasons why people have a hard time switching off and falling asleep is because their brain has been conditioned for a certain activity in a certain environment, so I want to pay attention to it. Know? Can you change your environment? I appreciate that not everyone has the space, but if you're working from home, can you work out of your room? This is something that not enough people think about, but it makes a big difference, the other thing to focus on in that hour before bed is to send your brain a signal that you are no longer working, this is Basically campfire time, right? think about us, you know, tens of thousands of years ago, hundreds of thousands of years ago, the night is campfire time, it's for storytelling, it's fun laughter, dancing, connecting, so if you're not giving that signal to your brain, if you're still on your emails after dinner, right, you just have to be very careful with the signal that you're sending to your brain, so one thing that I find useful and that many of my patients find useful is You have a deadline at night, maybe you want to set an alarm, you know?

We're used to the idea that we set an alarm in the morning, but maybe we only set an alarm at night, like let's say you want to go to your room to fall asleep at 10. Maybe you set an alarm for 9:00 p.m. or even 8 30 p.m. and that's a sign to turn off the laptop, don't look at emails anymore and then you can do some more relaxing activities like I don't know, take a bath, read a book you know, talk to your partner if you want. I watch TV and I understand the temptation to find something relaxing to watch.

You know, if you're watching the news right before you go to bed, whether on TV or online, and you can't sleep, is it really that surprising that the news is reaching you? Its very definition these days is negative, every news channel competes with other news channels, so you will see negative stories if that is what you are putting into your brain and your mind in the minutes or hours before bed, no wonder your mind is You'll be racing and you'll be thinking about the worst possible outcomes, so pay attention to what you're consuming if you want to watch something, watch something uplifting, relaxing, and something that makes you feel good.

The fourth thing I want you to focus on. As part of this 10-step action plan is to do something you love every day, what many people don't realize is that doing things you love regularly makes you more resistant to stress, but at the same time it makes you feel stressed chronically. Work-related stress means you find it harder to enjoy everyday things and remember that's one of those seven key signs of burnout and an inability to enjoy those simple things, so one way to avoid this is to spend five minutes day, if I could. Do more great things, but even five minutes a day will make a difference.

Finally say that you are doing something for yourself, not for your boss, not for your co-workers, not for your partner, not for your children, this is for you, this could be reading a book, okay? It could be listening to some tunes or music that you really like, it could even be going on YouTube and watching your favorite comedian for a few minutes. It is so powerful that if you give yourself a daily dose of pleasure you will discover it little by little. day after day you will start to feel more resilient, more engaged in life, it will have such a powerful impact and all I ask was just five minutes a day for me, what do I do?

There are all kinds of things I love to do. I love to read, I love to listen to music, but I love to play my guitar and often in the evenings, especially if it's been a stressful day, I'll just sit at my guitar for a few minutes and sing, and that makes all the difference if I go . for a week or two without doing this, I can absolutely feel it, so what will it be for you? What's that thing you can do every day for just five minutes, but it's something you're going to really enjoy? It's really easy to do.

You underestimate how important it is to do something you love every day, but let me briefly tell you about a patient I saw a few years ago, he was in his 50s. The CEO of a company, he was married, had children, was doing well at work. He used to love his job, but he got to a point where he enjoyed his job, he didn't really enjoy spending time with his wife, he didn't really enjoy doing much with his kids, he felt flat, he came to see me and he was worried and there's all kinds of things I could share with you here, but the gist of the story is that I asked him if he ever did anything he liked and he said no, don't run out of time.

Not really. I have time, so what about weekends? I only take my kids from event to event. I just don't have time for myself. I said, well, do you have any hobbies? Time for hobbies is running out. I said, okay, did you use? have a hobby maybe when you were a child they said yes, I loved playing with train games. I said, okay, cool, do you have a train set? and he said, hello, doctor, you know I do, but he's in my loft, he's in my attic. I haven't seen him in years, so I said, listen, what I think would be really helpful for you is to go to your Loft, take him out and start playing with him, and again I didn't see him for a few months and three.

Months later, I remember that I ran into his wife in the parking lot of my clinic, I said to her: How is he doing? and she told me that he is talkative, he is like a different person, he has his charm when he comes home from work every night and is playing with his toy train he was ready for hours and then a few months later when he came for a Wellness check, I actually talked to him, I told him how are you doing and he said: Everything feels different, happier, I feel like I'm closer to my wife.

I feel like I'm more engaged with my kids again. I feel like I have my thigh over and over again. For him, it all started with his train. So what's your equivalent of that train? What hobby or passion have you left behind? and which ones do you think you can bring into your life right now the fifth step to start introducing them into your life is to learn to say no now this is easy to say much harder to do in practice it's something many of us struggle with. I have struggled with this for much of my life, true, we have to be able to say no and often we do things that help other people but this comes at the expense of ourselves.

Now listen, I get it, it's good to be there. Other people it's good to do things for other people, but if it happens all the time and it comes at the cost of your physical, mental and emotional well-being, I think it's time to ask yourself some questions about what's going on, so make sure you're taking it. action after watching this video, I have created a free guide to help you develop healthy habits. We can all make short-term changes, but can those changes become a fundamental part of our lives? This is often not the case and that is why in this free guide.

I share with you the six crucial steps you need to follow that are really effective if you want to get that free guide right now. All you have to do is click the link in the description box below. The truth is that for many of us, the reason we have a hard time saying no is because we are people pleasers, we often don't feel good enough about who we are, often this started in childhood, we feel that to please and To love we have to do things for the good of other people. approval and if we are not careful that continues into adulthood, we put our own needs last and others first and as I say this often comes from insecurity, we don't feel good enough about ourselves, we feel that we need validation from that other person. to feel good, but this is toxic and it's very, very problematic, so you're not going to change this overnight just by being aware that you may have tendencies that are pleasing to some people, which gets in the way of your ability to say No. really very powerful another thing that can be useful when you think about saying no is to weigh the consequences of your decision on both sides, now a lot of times we just look at things from one side, okay, I was asked to give a meeting or let's say we do a presentation one weekend and we might think it's a great opportunity for us, okay, this is wonderful, but when you say yes to something you're also saying no to something else and what you're saying no to often you don't do.

Don't think about yourself, just think about the benefits of what you are saying yes to. Oh, if I do this, I'll help you with my work. My boss will like me. Look, how does that play out in my own life? They ask me to speak. I've been attending events a lot these days and used to say yes to a lot of them. I wanted to help. I wanted to go there. I wanted to talk to people. Help them. Empower them with information, but I find that a lot of times this happens on the weekends. and you know, I'm married, I have two young children, they're in school during the week for the last few years.

I've realized that if I say yes to an invitation to speak on the weekend, I'm saying no, my kids' time. I'm saying no to time with my wife and again look, we're all different, we all have different pressures and different requirements with our work, sometimes accepting that weekend invitation will be the right choice, but for me at this stage of my life now at this stage in my career I have decided that I will not do talks on the weekends or I will not do them regularly, at least it would take something really very special to decide that yes, I am going to do that.

And for me now I have a rule: I don't talk on weekends and that has simplified my life. If a weekend knockoff arrives, I almost certainly won't see it. Another thing you can think about here is making your default decision, at least in your brain. Know when you're forcing us to do things that don't meet what you're supposed to do, know the defaults, and then say to yourself: Can I defend this as a yes? It's just tweaking things slightly and maybe it's a strategy that can The other thing I can say about setting boundaries and saying no is helpful, is that if you've never been able to do it before, it's going to be difficult at first, right?

You won't feel comfortable doing it, but what I'm really asking you. What you need to do is think clearly about why you are saying no and then try to be honest, don't try to explain too much, just be very clear and direct, explain your reasons and beYou will be surprised at how well received they were perhaps two years ago. Now I received an invitation in July from a friend of mine to speak in August and by that time I had decided that he had been working too much. I had been neglecting some of the important things in my life and decided in August.

I am not going to work in August I am going to take some time off I am going to spend time with my family again I am grateful that not everyone has the luxury I have been able to do it at that time I did it and I received the invitation to speak Now the only reason why The reason I considered it was because this lady who invited me was a friend of mine, but I thought about it and then very clearly I told her: Hey, listen, thank you very much for the invitation, it sounds wonderful, but I'm not going to accept. about any work in August I will spend it with my family.

I'm really sorry if you want me to promote your event. I'll be happy to do it, but I can't participate and you know what? This time I was a little nervous about telling her, I was wondering what she would think of me and she didn't think anything bad of me, in fact she really respected that I was honest and told her the truth and it felt good too. I feel like I didn't lie, I didn't tell a white lie, I didn't make up any excuses, no, I just told him the truth and in fact, more and more I find that being able to say no in an authentic and truthful way is really really It's a good skill to acquire and it is something you can work on and improve with practice.

The sixth thing you should focus on is scheduling your rest. Now this relates a bit to the last one. If you improve at saying no, set limits. You're going to have more time for yourself, but what are you going to do with that time? You need to rest, recover completely. Remember what I said about that elastic band and exhaustion. They're not going to stop well, stress helps us, helps us perform better, but then if we intentionally give ourselves enough time to rest and recover, we become stronger again, we become stronger. we become more resilient with exhaustion.

The thing is, we don't have that. It's time to rest and recover, the elastic band begins to change shape. You know, we start to change shape internally, which is what causes all those symptoms and signs that I've already gone through, so if you can get enough rest, you're going to find that you can deal with stress because you're recovering from stress. . Now one of the best things you can think of is to put it in the journal that you know in Step number two when I talked about intentionally engaging with another human being that I shared.

That story about my friend in the United States who attended on Thursdays is in the diary, so it will happen most of the time, what can you put in your diary? Maybe it's a weekday yoga class on a Wednesday night after work, maybe it's a relaxing bath with Epsom salts every day. Tuesday and Friday nights, write it down in your diary. See, that's the interesting thing, right? We put our work commitments on our agenda because we are prioritizing them and we know that we have to fulfill them, but we also have to rest and think. Let's think about it for a minute, what does it really say about our priorities in life when all our work commitments are in our diary, all the commitments we have with other people are in our diary, but most of us don't think to take a walk on our agenda? journal or a bath in our journal or maybe our yoga class in our journal is a very simple movement that can be really effective now I just want to quickly mention something about walking because I go to a lot of businesses these days.

I talk to a Lot of people talk about burnout and stress, and one of the most helpful and effective things I recommend is a 15-minute lunchtime walk without technology, why is it so powerful? Well, if you have a walking break at lunchtime, you're coming. Getting back to being more creative and better able to solve problems, that's what many people don't realize is that burnout affects us at work, our work performance decreases and when we feel like this we have a problem to solve. get stuck we want to work during lunch we think that if we move forward it will solve the problem we don't realize that there is something in our brain called dmn the default mode Network and what does it do well that does many things except two What it does is it helps us solve problems and helps us be more creative.

Now the DMN only activates when you turn it off, when you stop focusing on a task. That's why some of us have our best ideas when we're away. a walk or when we're in the shower I know that for me some of my best ideas come when I'm in the shower every morning because you're disconnected, you don't have your emails, you're not focused on anything, so your brain tries to solve those problems by you, so again, finish that 10 or 15 minute walk break every lunchtime right now, it'll feel like nothing, but if you do it five days a week, even seven days a week, you'll get started very quickly.

To notice a big difference, the other thing I want to mention about rest, let's say that you like to watch documentaries, for example, as part of your relaxation. I'm fine with that. I'm not saying don't do that, but start paying attention. to how you feel after certain genres, if you see one that is quite agitated with a lot of anger, judgment and cynicism, how do you feel afterwards? Do you feel like you've rested or do you feel a little agitated in your body? and then contrast that with when you're watching something relaxing, maybe something with nature, maybe a feel-good story, how you feel in your body, because then you'll start to educate yourself about what the right type of rest is for you.

Now I just want to mention something here that's relevant to some of the things I just talked about. I recently spoke to a guy named Stephen Kotler, he's an expert in human performance and co-founded the flow research collective in Canada. and his team have done some research and shown that it is almost impossible to burn out if you do three things: first, if you sleep seven to eight hours a night, second, if you access the flow once or twice a week, then what happens? ? flow well, flow is an altered state of consciousness it is a state that you enter when you are completely focused you will feel as if your perception of time is changing some people will say that time just stopped and usually it is those activities that you enjoy and in the that you are completely immersed, but it is usually when the focus required to do it is a little more than your skill level, so you have to stay focused, but it is not so difficult that you think this is unattainable when you tune out and if You're struggling to know what your flow activities are.

Think about the kinds of things you used to enjoy as a child or teenager. You already know. Common examples are playing musical instruments, skiing, rock climbing, you could read all sorts of things, but again, Stephen says that if you can access flow once or twice a week, it really helps prevent burnout. The third thing he says really helps avoid burnout is regular active recovery, but what does that mean? Well, passive recovery, as Stephen says, is a glass of wine and a TV show that is very different for your body than active recovery, which is more like yoga, a walk in nature, or a bath with salts.

Epsom, so remember that those are three things that, if you do them regularly, make it very unlikely that you will burn yourself and I think that helps bring together some of the ideas that I've already mentioned in one place. The seventh thing I want you to think about is movement, one of the problems when people are on the path to burnout or even when they are already exhausted. Burnout is they don't move, you know, I've already mentioned that one of the signs of burnout is when we start to neglect our self-care and because people feel a lack of motivation, low energy, you know they're procrastinating, they can do it.

They don't make decisions, they end up not moving their bodies, they often think, "Oh, I don't have the energy to move," and the interesting thing about movement is that it will change your state, guaranteed. Sometimes they felt stressed, agitated and anxious when going out and Moving our body, say with a walk or even two minutes of jumping or jumping, will calm everything down, you will burn off that stress, but it also works the other way around if you feel low energy, if a Sometimes you are struggling with motivation. Movement will give you energy just think about the last time you couldn't be bothered to go to the gym or maybe you procrastinated for an hour should you go for a walk?

Shouldn't I go for a walk? It's raining I'm not sure I realized it, but then you really went, how did you feel afterwards? Did you regret it or feel afterward? Wow man, I'm so glad I went. I don't think anyone has ever regretted going for a walk. We always feel better afterwards, so this is all about making sure you move your body every day, even a 10 or 15 minute walk will make a big difference. Step number eight, pay attention again to your food intake. This fits with the theme of the last step, which is about the movements when people sit down. near burnout or on the road to burnout, they stop taking care of themselves and food, your nutrition is absolutely key here, if you feel unwell and start consuming more sugar, more ice cream, more highly processed foods, you start eating snacks, the more you eat. late at night just won't help you, it will make things worse and I know that at that time when you can't be bothered to cook, the easiest thing in the world is to call for takeout or use an app on your phone depending on where you live in the world and you will actually get something delivered, but try to make healthier choices as much as possible, make sure you have healthy foods at home, make sure you have things that you enjoy and that are available. to support your health and well-being at home if you have run out of food, it will be easy to go and order that takeaway, you know, try not to snack late at night in front of the TV because we know that snacking late at night to Some people can really affect the quality of their sleep and you know that sleeping better in this 10 step action plan we want you to sleep better and eating late will often get in the way.

Also pay attention to comfort eating, but I get it for those times when you have no energy and you feel down, you just think I'm going to eat something to feel better and I get it in the moment, it makes you feel better, but it comes with a long time. -The long term cost and if you do this all the time will keep you in a vicious cycle, so next time you feel the need to open that packet of chips and all those cookies, why not try this? Pause briefly and ask yourself: what am I really feeling here?

Is this hunger physical or emotional? You know, many times we turn to food because there is something emotional going on, maybe you feel lonely, maybe you want to say hello to your partner or call a friend, maybe you feel like you haven't had time for yourself all day and you've just been. working, so this is your gift, okay, but maybe you can treat yourself differently, maybe you can. Draw yourself a bath and enjoy being there for 20 minutes taking care of yourself. So why pay attention to the foods you are putting into your body? It will make a big difference in your recovery.

Step number nine is to define the end of your work day now this is a really very important step that I really think you can start implementing immediately our to-do lists are never finished nowadays due to modern technology due to the The way we work, there's always something else to do. Let's say you miraculously delete all the new emails in your inbox. I don't know if that's possible, but let's say you managed to do it by the time you're done and let's say you go for a walk somewhere or make yourself a cup of tea. There is a good chance that other emails have started to arrive.

You can't control that emails always arrive. This is just an example so you can be working consistently and I have seen this in so many patients who don't. You don't set boundaries, so they're still working after dinner, right, you couldn't do this 20 or 30 years ago, you would have had to stop and disconnect, spend time if you have a family with your family if not. You haven't spent time doing something enjoyable for you, but now you don't have to, you can keep trying and of course you keep doing this month after month, year after year, this will put you on the path to burnout, so some advice really useful here is to say what it looks like done today and this is something I talk about in a wonderful conversation I had on my podcast with Greg McEwen, who I already mentioned correctly.

Greg has another quote that I really like if you don't prioritize your life someone else will, in fact I like that quote so much that I have it hanging on the wall in my house and that's what this advice is about, you need to define which means done for you, maybe it's 5:00 p.m. m. I'm going to stop working or maybe I have these 10 tasks to do today, but once I've done these siximportant, if that's the end of the day, that's the end of the day if not don't do it no one will do it for you it's about setting boundaries it's about taking a moment to go now this is important today everything is not important you may think Which is, but it's not, why not at the beginning of each day?

Defining if I do these things today that's good enough and this is something that's really simple but really effective and the final step 10 in this action plan is a little bit more about the big picture a lot of times we end up on the road to burnout. and burnout is because we don't live a life that is aligned with who we truly are. Daily actions are not aligned with our values. We are offered jobs that we don't really enjoy and there are elements of that. jobs that don't really suit us I think it's very important for me to say here that I get it, sometimes you have to do a job that you don't particularly like because that's how you feed yourself, that's how you feed your family. and put a roof over their heads.

I understand that this advice will be different for different people at different stages of their lives, but even if that's you, it's worth thinking about what my values ​​are not. work that I want to do in two years, three years, and five years and I encourage you to maybe once a week sit down and write down what are some of the core values ​​that encompass who I am and who I want to be. You don't need to take much time, even a single value would start to help you. You know, I've done this many times over the years.

What I would say now is that my three core values ​​are integrity, compassion and curiosity, and those are the three values. that I like to bring my personal life to every aspect of my life, yes, but also my work life, and if I look back on my career, at times when I felt frustrated, worked too much and felt quite resentful of work, often one of those values ​​was being violated I think this is one of the most important things you can spend time on, yes how you feel now, but also your long term health and happiness, you may not be able to change everything right away, but if you've never spent a moment thinking about what you really want out of life and you'll find yourself falling into the same traps over and over again, and if you're struggling with this, why don't you do this exercise of writing down some of your core values ​​with a friend or perhaps your partner?

Some examples of values ​​or things you value correctly. This is not an exhaustive list, but just to get you thinking about things like solitude, nature, environments, creativity, curiosity, compassion, honesty, integrity, you know, maybe you're hearing all those things back , yes, like all of them, that's fine, just choose one, two or three, just to start and maybe every Sunday you will sit down. with them and ask how much of my life this week I lived by those values ​​and how much of my life was in conflict with them and I think you'll be surprised how much you learn about yourself because these are really the really important lessons that will help you get you out of the bind you're currently in, but they'll also help you with your long-term health and happiness.

I know that if you start implementing that action plan in your own life, you will be able to start seeing results immediately remember that you don't have to do them all at once pick one thing start small and build up over time this was maybe ago seven or eight years well, I was in a busy medical clinic and a 42-year-old gentleman came to see me and he was suffering from the kind of problem that many people complain about today. There will be people listening to this podcast right now who are suffering with these complaints. I was a little overweight.

He was struggling a bit with his mood and felt exhausted all the time. Well, three very common things we were talking about now and, as I analyzed his history, it became very clear to me that his lifestyle was contributing to many of his symptoms. Well, I discussed several options with him and we know we went through all kinds of things, but the one he really liked was strength training. He says, doctor, yeah, what force is Wayne going to do that for me? I'm in, you know? I haven't done strength training since I was a teenager. He used to make me feel so good, but you say he'll help me with my energy.

He could help me with my mood and my weight. Why would I love it? do that I said, okay, great, let's start there then and he said, should I do 40 minutes three times a week in the gym, like I read? and I said, hey, look, if you can do that, that would be amazing, so he said. Yes, I'm right, so I give him a follow-up appointment for four weeks. He leaves with a big smile on his face. You know, Standing Tall. He feels motivated because he has his own plan of action. Four weeks later, he comes to see.

Me and I said Hi, how's he doing? and he looks a little different, his shoulders were a little bent and he and he spoke a little softly, he said, Hello doctor, you know? I haven't really gotten around to going yet. You know, work has been very busy, it's been quite stressful, the gym is actually quite far from my work, it's quite difficult to get to and it's quite expensive. I still haven't done it right and he looked and he felt like a complete failure that he couldn't. do what I had asked him to do or what he thought he was going to do I remember dreaming about that moment I didn't think why he hasn't done what I asked him to do I thought wrong why you gave him advice The advice you gave him clearly It doesn't seem relevant to him in the context of his life, so I thought, "Okay, I have to change it." I took off my jacket and said, "Okay, I'll show you for five minutes." training right now that you can do without any equipment for him to do well, so I taught him these five exercises.

I modified them for his skill level. I told him what do you think you can do to get him to go. Yes, no problem, easy. I said, "He's okay, can you?" do it for five minutes twice a week in your kitchen and he said 10 minutes a week is all you're asking me to do. I said yes, can you do that? He goes, yes, of course, I can do that. I told him it's okay. I'll see you in four weeks so he leaves, I think a little confused with what I asked him to do, it wasn't what he was used to.

Four weeks later he comes back and I remember when he walked through the door his chest is puffed out he's standing with a big smile on his face I said how are you doing he's doing doctor man you told me to do 10 minutes a week right? I love it so much that he makes me feel so good. Now I do it for 10 minutes every night before dinner. Drew, he's been doing it for over five years. When he tried to do 40 minutes three times a week in the gym, he couldn't achieve anything, but when I made it easy for him.

He now does 70 minutes of strength training a week, 10 minutes seven days a week. He becomes a part of his life and what did that lead to? That led to what I talk about in the book. I call it the domino effect that he started with. that led him to change his eating habits now he sleeps better because I saw him recently 10 minutes ago breath work every morning when he wakes up well this was a million miles from where he was seven eight years ago, but by starting small Al making him feel good about himself, he does more, not because I told him to, not because I asked him to, but because he wants to, and that's the secret to behavior change, and you can literally unpack the whole book of that story because several elements of behavior change are there, so, you know, I would love to share with people what were the secrets of what I asked them to do that really works because at that time, Drew, I didn't know the science of behavior change.

I went on intuition and gut feeling as a doctor, it was just when I met BJ Fogg, uh, last year, you know, I'm like always, now I stayed with you and flew away, uh, I think. Santa Rosa and I did some sort of boot camp with BJ and we got along like a house on fire and what we loved was the idea that he said it wrong and what's really interesting is that you're telling me things that you've discovered. 20 years of clinical experience that my 20 years of clinical research has shown me was this beautiful intersection between me as a doctor, what I've seen working with real patients with really busy lives and families, coincided beautifully with your research, which shows .

If you want to achieve long term behavior change for most people you have to start small, that's very true, and I remember you told me you were going to go see BJ and I said I went and made one from his first workshops almost. About five seven years ago and he had us train goats and other things and you know there were experts from all over the world in this workshop that I remember from different companies and as you mentioned you know it's been influential and inspiring you know some of the changes of behavior that are used in apps like Instagram and you know a lot of other technologies that exist and I can remember one central idea that was there is that sometimes when you are an expert in a field you forget that it took you years to develop the habits that you have now but think about a category or think of something in your life that you want to do that you're not good at yet let someone say someone has it.

They've mastered their diet and they're exercising, but they haven't mastered their finances well, so think of something. that you're interested in but haven't gotten good at yet, wouldn't you like some of you to tell you how to crack it? in a simple way that could lead to those results, of course it does, so why wouldn't you want to take the material you have now and set it up in a practical way? Because the truth is, the podcasts and all these books are great information and you and I know a lot of the health authors who put out this stuff and they don't do it on purpose, but there's a lot of information out there that hasn't crossed the lens. of behavior change so that the audience listens.

And they feel overwhelmed and never end up doing anything. Yes, you just nailed it and that was the real motivation behind writing this book. There is a lot of what you should be doing in hell. There are many Brilliant Health books. out there saying what you should do, but there aren't a lot of how-to books on health and my book is about how to put into practice all the great information that you may have heard on my show, on your show, on other awesome podcasts. They exist, but they remain as ideas and they remain as inspiration, how can you really act and act?

Because there is a system. Changing human behavior is not as difficult as we think, but we don't follow the system we don't follow. the kind of rules and I describe six rules in the book, but I wonder if you would mind if I shared two rules that I consider two of the most important, so rule one is that you have to start slow. you have to make it easy you have to start small okay that's rule number one that's exactly what I did with that patient right now let's take him out of Health for a minute because I think people really get it.

I'm sure a lot of people are listening to this store on Amazon, if they weren't before the pandemic, they certainly were during the pandemic. I think it was one of the only stores open in the entire world, which is why a lot of people shop on Amazon now. Amazon moved to one-click ordering maybe about five years ago, estimates say its profits increased by $300 million a year. Now let's think about that, why would that cause profits to increase so much so quickly? Amazon understands the rules of behavior change that It understands that if you do something easy, people would do it five six years ago, what did you have to do?

You would go to Amazon, click on whatever you want, then there's another screen, confirm it, another screen, enter your card details again, one more. just to check everything, okay, it's four or five steps you need to follow to make a purchase. Every step you have to take is a reason to back out and not do the behavior. Now they do it with a single click, a boom of orders before you've even blinked. You receive an email saying a package will arrive the next morning. It's that easy to do, so you do it right. Netflix. You must do the same.

Why does Netflix skip one episode to the next? This is so you realize it before you know it. instead of looking at your watch thinking, oh, it's midnight. I have work tomorrow. I need to go to bed and get up early. You're onto the next episode and you're hooked, right? They make your behavior easier. what do you do now I'm not knocking those guys right, they are using behavior change to help you help you know how to help them use their services more correctly and as a company I understand that, but I mean it in a way when we talk about behavior change human, particularly health, we believe that it has to be difficult it has to be about deprivation it has to be about punishment it cannot be easy true but how could it be easy so we make it difficult that's what we say in January the first right, this year I'm going to do spinning four times a week in the gym and you know what you do for a week, you do it for two weeks, but when motivation drops like always, suddenly you won't do it anymore andI know you've had BJ on the show and I think it's always worth a recap.

Why start? Why doing something easy is so important because we depend too much on motivation. We believe that motivation will last forever. We make our health plans. What we do, Drew, is we don't understand motivation. A BJ calls it a wave of motivation, so motivation rises. Low motivation. We make our health plans at the peak of the wave of motivation, but I would say you should make them at the trough. of the wave because then on those days when you're busy when you're stressed when you don't have time when your motivation is low you'll still perform a behavior if it's easy to do, you know when your motivation is high It's true, you'll do anything if you're highly motivated to make a change.

Yes, you will run 45 minutes a day. Well, the problem is that when you run out of motivation you will stop doing it, so I think rule number one is. I have to start small, okay, and I've seen it over and over again. Rule number two is where you put that habit in the day and a lot of people don't think about the placement of that habit, they think, "Oh, I'll do it." Oh, I listened to a podcast. I listened to a broken brain program on meditation. So they get inspired. They are going well. I'm going to meditate, but they don't have a system.

They think. Hey, they make it too hard. Sometimes I say I am. I'm going to meditate for half an hour a day, which again is not realistic for most beginners, but then not spending time thinking about where this is going to go in my day and where to place that habit in your day is very important. every human behavior needs a trigger to perform the behavior you know we are having a conversation right now to do that we needed a trigger now the trigger could have been our memory oh I must remember to call Drew at that time we have agreed I must remember to meditate well, now that works, it just happens to be a very unreliable trigger, so if you rely on that to do your health behavior it probably won't work much of the time in the following way.

The trigger is a notification or reminder, like a Post-It note on the refrigerator or a pop-up on your phone, which you know much like oh, my Google Calendar popped up saying, "Hey, in 20 minutes you have a conversation with him." Drew, okay, that works as a reminder too, but the best trigger is when you apply your new behavior to an existing behavior you're already doing without thinking about it, so you apply the new behavior to a habit you already have. For me, for example, Drew, I work out for five minutes every morning and I don't think I've missed a day in like three years, okay?

Because every morning I make myself a coffee like I don't need a reminder on my phone. to tell me to make a good coffee. I don't need my personal assistant to call me and tell me bad and you have to remember to make your coffee today, no, no. I'm going to do that, it's a habit that's set in stone, so when I weigh my coffee beans and put them in the French press and set a timer for four or five minutes while it's brewing, I don't go on Instagram. Don't send emails. I do a five-minute bodyweight workout in my kitchen in my pajamas right now.

That's so important. That's why I haven't missed a workout for three years because I don't have to rely on motivation. Motivation is one part. of my routine I make coffee I exercise I make coffee I exercise I don't have to change I don't have to decide what exercise I'm going to do I don't need to drive to a gym, so all these potential decisions that turn into procrastination and become a reason to quit the behavior I don't have. I just do it and you know most people would consider me in pretty reasonable shape and I don't go to gyms. but I do a five minute workout every day, so I really incorporated it, made it easy and they locked it into an existing behavior and you'll remember that case study that I told you at the beginning and that I shared. with you about this 42 year old guy, I told you to do it in your kitchen and I think kitchens are one of the most powerful places to exercise because people are in them at least once a day, most people are in the kitchen at least once a day. so they just printed it for me, I was just posting it for him, do it when you're in your kitchen, now he's figured it out himself, oh, as long as my peas are boiling or steaming or my broccoli, I'll do my workout in the meantime and then I I'll reward you with dinner and I'm not saying you have to follow that strategy, but what I'm saying is you need a strategy, you can't leave it up to people.

I have read this great book. I have listened to this amazing podcast. I'm going to do it and it may work for some people, but for a lot of people, and this is one of the biggest problems that Drew today would say is that we are surrounded by so much brilliant health information, whether it's podcasts and books on Instagram you know that a We can often feel like we're doing something but we haven't done anything We listen to a podcast We agree with the content but we haven't done anything with it We just get inspired We see everything as edutainment You know, edutainment, it's more like, yeah, watching a show from Netflix, uh, about something and then feeling like you've done it, but that doesn't mean you necessarily have done it and I'm guilty of that right.

I like what I'm saying. That's right, I think it's natural because I consume HealthPark. You know, it's not a failure. I'm not making people feel bad about it. What I am saying is that that is the reality and that is why what my book is about is that I am helping. you take action and what I discovered in this time of introspection on social media. In fact, I realized why this book has struck a chord with so many people and why it is helping literally everyone who reads it because actually that book is applicable to everyone, no.

It matters what you want in life if you want to improve your life in some way whether it is performance at work whether it is more concentration more longevity it will help you if you want me to help you with a symptom such as anxiety depression type 2 diabetes the book will help you I will also help you because they are universal health principles, but what I have realized, why I think it has been so profound and why so many companies ask me to come and talk to them about implementing this as their type of wellness program, is because I'm helping people change their identity through action and I really think it's very important, we often have an identity like that patient.

Let's go back to that 42-year-old guy, so what happened to him comes after four weeks. like a failure it's like I told the doctor I was going to do 40 minutes three times a week he comes in he's talking quietly his shoulders are turned he's turning he's reinforcing the belief he has in himself that I'm someone who can I don't stick to health plans, you know, I can't stick to programs. I just can't do these things. Suddenly, by changing it and making it easier for him to do well, he arrives in four weeks with different body language and a smile. in his face he talks in a different way, so he's not just doing something that will help his health.

I have helped him change his identity. Now I drew that his identity is that of someone who can comply with health plans. I can do what the doctors asked me to do. what to do, I show myself daily. No matter how bad my day has been, I've still prioritized myself and given myself five minutes of time to be proactive with my health, and in fact, I don't think I fully understood that when I was writing the book, it's just on that reflection and seeing the feedback in the UK. I'm changing. I'm helping people change who they are through what they do because momentum creates momentum, both of us in a positive way, we can spiral up. and also the other way around also 100 and that's the key and look, some people will say look, I understand this document, I understand what you're saying, but for me I just decided that I was going to be healthy and I changed overnight, I'll say. there are some people who can do that there is no doubt in my experience it tends to be people who have had some kind of painful life experience it could be that you know a grief it could be that you know that they lost you know that they have lost had a relationship breakup, it could be It could be that they suddenly had a health problem and suddenly they have angina at 40 and they think well, I have to stop smoking, I can't do this anymore.

You know I'm going to die soon if I don't, make some kind of change. I'm sure I'll get it. For some people, things can get so bad that they can use motivation to keep going, but I say that for the vast majority of people. draw, is not enough if you are planning to make a change in motivation alone. Unfortunately, I think it's not going to be as durable as you'd like, so yeah. In fact, I think it takes action, you know, if anyone knows, although the program is five minutes mind five minutes body heart finance so to really do it it's 15 minutes a day even if all you do is take one of the actions and consolidate it for five minutes a day so that it becomes a habit, you know what? that will still take you on the road to recovery that will still take you on the road and as you say momentum builds but you have to start somewhere it is very true give us an idea of ​​why and how you came up with mind-body and the heart and some sample exercises, you already talked about the body and cooking and doing that, but you know the heart is interesting.

I think a lot of people are wondering, okay, why is that thrown into the mix? Yeah, so I remember Drew sitting down. I'm trying to write this a bit. I don't remember when it was a year and a half ago and I thought five minutes works because I've watched it over and over again patiently, but I thought, well. I believe in holistic health, so it can't just be five minute workouts and I was really trying to figure out how can I make a really simple structure because I think simplicity is key, if you really want people to do things the way simpler. you can do it the more impact things have and I think it's hard to make things simple, so I'm very, very proud of this book because it took me a long time to try to condense and distill something into what I hope is the essence of the simplicity of health, but I thought about what those components are and how can I keep it simple and I thought, well, everyone knows that we should move more, so of course one component will be physical health, you know, moving your body at least for five minutes at a time. day I thought, well, mental health is very important, so let's do a five-minute snack for the mind and the heart too, so when I say mind, it's about your mental health, that's the idea that life in The 21st century is tormenting our minds, you know we are overloaded. with information we are overloaded with things to do in the UK, one in four people in any given year will be diagnosed with a new mental health diagnosis, you know, I think depression is the most common, sorry, the statistic in reality is one. in four people in the UK will be diagnosed with depression in any given year, which is a staggering number of people and really reflects that there is something happening in society that is not harmonious with our mental health.

That's just one example. about that, but then I thought there's still something missing, there's mental health, there's physical health and you know, we've talked about this before about how important human connection is and that's when I understood it, I thought it's the heart, it's the heart and I tell you why Call it heart because heart is a little confusing because when people hear a doctor talk about heart health, they think of cardiovascular health rights, so the way I describe it is this: when I went I went to medical school, they taught me about hearts and what they taught me is a physical organ, it's a muscle in the chest that pumps blood around the body and that's true, that's what the heart does, but Drew Hart It also has another meaning, it is the meaning that poets, artists and composers have.

I've been speaking lyrically for years and that's the essence of what it means to be a human being. It's all about Connections when we connect with other people with our hearts and we know very well how important heart health or human connection is to our health. I knew, the research has been out there for many years anyway, you know, the last time I was on your show I was sharing some of the research that I know you've also shared about some statistics that suggest that you know the feeling of being only. It can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day People who feel lonely are 50 more likely to die sooner 30 more likely to have a heart attack or stroke You know this can be a psychological component of feeling lonely, but it causes real physical biological changes in our body and I thought, you know I have to address that because this is one of the most important components of health and I don't dodifference in the book between what is more important than others, but if you pressed me, I would say heart health.

It's the most important thing because what I've discovered, Drew, is that if you pay attention to heart health, if you pay attention to daily human connection, often your mental health and your physical health take care of themselves, often our health choices. lifestyle or our lifestyle decisions. as a consequence we feel isolated and alone, therefore we binge on sugar because we feel lonely, we sit there, we don't want to get up and move our bodies because we feel lonely, we feel stressed, it impacts our mental health because we feel lonely and you know, I put this is the final section of the book and I actually say at the beginning.

I think I said in the introduction that you can be skeptical about this part and that's why I put it at the end. I thought, I give people what they're used to getting and what they agree with and then they let me explain why heart health is so important and that's what I think it's most connected to. people, um, they, but actually you know someone, one of the first readers of the book, uh, said you know adult conversation is interesting. I actually thought I was pretty healthy. You know, I do Pilates regularly. I eat pretty well, but I realized that I don't do anything at heart.

South I live alone and in reality I feel very lonely and what she has adopted from the book is that now she makes an effort every night or sometimes during the day, if she has time she calls a friend or her mother every day and sometimes they are alone a few minutes, so it might just be a quick five minute call, but she connects every day with a human being that means something to her and you know, she sent me a few messages and said the difference has been incredible. she feels the other way around, you know, the sugar chunks or drinking too much alcohol on the weekends, all disappeared not because she was trying to cut them down, but because she no longer needed to substitute something in her life. so she was missing and you know there's actually more so the structure of the book is that in each of the sections there is a selection of what we call healthy five minute snacks, right?

I quite like that concept for people like that. they're just healthy snacks, I think there are 30 or 45 minute healthy snacks in the book and I say pick one for the mind, one for the body and one for the heart and do them every day, um, really, really simple, like this that you said to give some examples, so in the body there are. There are a lot of different five-minute workouts in the book, okay, but they all have this in common. None of them require joining a gym. None require purchasing any equipment. None require you to change again.

I'm using the science of behavior change okay see if I make it easy for you if you don't need to buy something if you don't even need to change you have less reason to say no how many people drew and I include myself in this I used to be 10 minutes from the gym, not today , I'll do it another time oh, you know, I don't have the right equipment. I would, but I don't have the equipment they need. So of course I can't do it, so let me put Netflix on instead. I am removing those excuses from people with compassion.

I'm not criticizing people for not doing it, I'm saying I'm going to eliminate them, so you literally have no reason why you can't do it and there are strength training, interval training, yoga flows, playful workouts, dancing, Right, one of the five-minute snacks on the house. In the body it is very easy to dance, it doesn't cost money, I say dance to your favorite song, play, find a moment in your day and I was doing this for a while with my daughter before dinner, uh, we would start dancing. in the melodies and we would respond for five to ten minutes together, that's movement, right, we're so conditioned because we think movement has to have a name, right?

Oh, you know, I've done body pump where I've done Pilates or myself. I've done yoga, wait a minute, why can't you dance? All we're talking about is moving your body and just so you know, I think I accomplished that. I think not only if I'm trying to make health practical. In this book I'd like to think I've made it fun because it's us, we have this mentality that it has to be about deprivation, it has to be about difficult, it has to be about punishment. Well, wait, why don't we rephrase that? What if we made health fun as a fun activity?

I bet most people will read those health snapshots and walk away, they all sound great, I'd actually like to get it right because if it's not fun, we're not going to keep it up. You know, willpower is a finite resource and from time to time we have to tap into it, but we don't want to tap into it for everything that's there for us because it's not a sustainable way. do it so that if we can't have fun in the process we simply won't continue like this, that's why when I look at my friends, I feel that not only do they eat healthy but they live healthy and feel good, they are people who continue like this because they do.

They enjoy you know no one is forcing you no one is forcing me to be like this we're going to do these things because it's actually fun and it pays the dividends of having executed it, which leads me to the next thing I want To talk to you, you know, a big reason why That people stop any kind of plan they make is because they are hard on themselves, they are hard on themselves because they set very high expectations for how something is going to happen. to be perfect at that naturally we can't be perfect at things all the time they fail and become very hard on themselves is there any exercise or refreshment like you say in the heart section that really relates to self forgiveness or self compassion ?

For the people listening who say I had all these goals this year. Not only did I have New Year's resolutions, but I had all these things I wanted to do and then the pandemic hit and I couldn't do them. and now I'm struggling to get through the day, so are there things people can bring to the table to start letting go, forgiving or stepping back into self-love to let go of all that unnecessary noise that could have been? holding on to yes, I think that's a great point that you raised with Drew, uh, yes, the answer is yes, absolutely there are a lot of health statistics that will help them, and I think one of the fundamental problems is that if someone can't do something that they set out to do, let's say they don't achieve the type of behavior that they wanted, then they think that they are a failure, so you may fail at bringing a healthy snack into your life, but that doesn't mean that you are a failure and I think that it's about this whole idea of ​​identity.

We often define ourselves by whether we can do this health plan or not, while in reality we have to have a little distance. Well, maybe that was the wrong health plan for me, maybe I couldn't do it for some reason, but regardless of that, it doesn't define who I am. I'm still, you know, a wonderful human being who has a lot to offer. world, who is an amazing dad who has amazing friends, you know, it's when we put everything together that we feel on top of the world because we've been going to the gym four times a week and so not only is my health good, but I'm okay and if we don't do it, I failed at Health, but I also failed at being myself and we need to start incorporating some Separation, so one of the exercises in the book is about writing. every day five things you love about yourself okay, very simple, very, very simple, a lot of people find it difficult to do and in fact, if you find it difficult to do it, that's a very good indication that it's probably an exercise to which you should dedicate a little more time. really very quickly build your self-esteem when you realize your weight your ability to follow a health plan does not define you you are separate from that you could be an amazing person you could be an amazing friend you could be a caregiver there could be There are so many other wonderful things about You know that they are wonderful, but if you don't remember them daily, you can soon repress them and feel worthless, so there are many more exercises like that, but that's all. one that comes to mind there are a lot of gratitude exercises in there, uh, fall, that also help with this because when you feel gratitude, when you feel good about the things around you, you know it puts life into a little bit of perspective, you already know.

It's, it's hard to be hard on yourself when you're feeling grateful and I know you've talked about gratitude before on this podcast. I'm sure we've talked about it before, but it's always worth reiterating because again I'm conditioned to think that there has to be something interesting and new out there that I haven't heard of yet. That this is the lost secret. I'm waiting. You do not know?. I'm glad if we repeat the gratitude. I'm glad if we said it before. I'm glad if you mention it on every other show of yours because you know what I hope at some point people will hear.

You know what I've heard all these different people talking about gratitude, maybe it's time. I'm starting to incorporate a daily gratitude practice, you know what I mean? I really think we want something new and fresh, but we know the rules of good health, we know what we should do, we just aren't doing it, so gratitude. It really helps what I have, I think two or three gratitude exercises, one that I think I've shared before, but I'll share it again because it's what I do and I love it, and it's something I've been doing for years. what do I do with my wife and my children we answer three questions what have I done today to make someone else happy what has someone else done today to make me happy and what have I learned today um very simple very very effective and again let's talk about the rules of behavior change Why do I manage to do that every day?

Well, we have chosen to do well at the table, so why? It sounds so simple, but I'm going to explain it in detail, Drew, because I really want people. Understanding this when dining means I don't need to motivate myself. I don't need to go somewhere to do it. I don't need to find five minutes in my schedule to do it. I will not have. dinner, right, that's non-negotiable most days I have dinner and, particularly during the pandemic, I've been having dinner at home with my wife and kids. That's been one of the most wonderful things for me, the amount of time I have to dedicate. with my family during this period and during the meal we go around the table with the herbs, in fact, they did it with us, I think the last time, when they were finally at my house, yes, I remember doing it with you, yes , it was fantastic. but it's super simple and if people don't like that, that's fine, choose another one.

You know there are many ways to express gratitude, but the point is that someone might get inspired, but then they have to figure out when they're going to do it. That may work for you, you may want to do it around one of your meal times, but what if you want to do it before bed? Okay it's a great sign for a lot of people it can really help put them in a really good mood to sleep so I would give you a recommendation get a journal get a pen keep it on your nightstand now it looks like I'm talking to kids but these are just basic rules that work if you have a pen and a journal on your nightstand they visually let you know every night when you go to bed you see it there you don't have to go ah gratitude yes I want to write it down but it's down there it's in the other room doesn't I don't have a pen No, make it simple, make it easy for you to perform the behavior and you will do it.

It reminds me a little bit of um, there's this kind of 48 year old lady, um, who had migraines and he was, you know, her husband. she was busy, she had a very busy job, she had three kids and I really met her and I thought I think stress is playing a big role here, it seems very, very stressful, there's a lot of stress in her life and she said yes, I do. I understand, but you know it's not like it's something else and I can't do anything about it anyway and that's okay, I was trying various ways to connect with her.

I suggested yoga and she says, oh doctor, I knew you would say I'm not a Yoga is not for me, right, she goes. I'll try if you want, but it's not for me anyway, she came back, she couldn't do it, it just wasn't for her and I was trying. She knew something would probably help her if she could find the right thing. She said I'm too busy for this anyway and then we started talking and I don't know if this is a fad in the US like it is in the UK, but there's a big adult fad now. coloring books, yeah, it's a lot crazier too, yeah, yeah, because when you're coloring something complex your mind shuts off, you're in the moment, you often access flow states and she said, I love doing that, but I have no time. okay, okay, tell me about your day.

I said, well, my mornings are very busy. I don't have time in the morning. I get up. I have to prepare my three children for school. I told her: okay, do you do whatever? She goes, yeah. I went downstairs and made myself a cup of tea. I thought okay, here we go, so I said, What if when you go to make that cup of tea you actually color a little bit at the same time? And she said: Well, in a way I said, look, it's the children, alreadyYou know, the kids are old enough now and can do a little for themselves.

What if you made that cup of tea and, while you were drinking it, you locked yourself in the living room for five minutes and did some coloring, she said, well, yeah, I guess I don't really feel like I have time, but I guess I could do it anyway to cut a long story short. Drew, she started doing that within four or five days with the frequency of The migraines had gone down by about 50 and literally within about six to eight weeks she was barely guessing them anymore. I'm not saying that happens in every case, but what happened with Drew is that he accessed five minutes of flow state at a time.

In the morning, she's just almost like when I said take back what I said at the beginning, when I turned off social media for three weeks, it just gave me access to things that I didn't have access to, it's kind of like what happened to she. She simply allowed herself five minutes to do something that nourished her mind, which caused ripple effects in other aspects of her life and, in fact, led to a complete reduction in the number of migraines she had. And again she had to come. on a few occasions she had to remember that I have to keep the coloring book and coloring pens next to my teapot in the kitchen, why is that important?

Because if you go down and put the kettle on and your coloring book is there, but the crayons aren't there and they're in a different room it just leads to procrastination it leads to ah you know I don't have them today I didn't have time anyway today I'll do it tomorrow and then you become a second day and a third day and before you know it, it was something that you used to do and I really feel like I'm going a little bit here, but I really want people to understand this, choose behavior and instead of looking for a new miracle. heal every week dedicate your time and energy to implementing that behavior in your life experiment with where that behavior should go it's better one in the morning it's good for me on my lunch break you know? after putting the kids to bed, you know what?

Where is that behavior going and is that where people will find the gold? There is another really powerful exercise that I found transformative and that many of my patients also do called Write Your Happy Ending. I think you will really enjoy it. Check it out. right now watching this video I understand that you feel lost you don't have the motivation to do the things you know you want to do the things you said you were going to do