The Redd Foxx Comedy Hour (1977) | Slappy White Rodney Dangerfield

Lately, welcome guys, we're showing a special guest tonight or the brilliant comedian Don Knotts, also a beautiful young actress Lisa Hartman and of course our cast regulars Billy Barty Al Smith Bill Saluja HB raggedy Joe and beat up cheesy Joe Murray. Things I was thinking about, my mother. long before we start showing the way I like to wish everyone a Happy New Year too, sit tight, you all got through New Year's Eve safely because obviously you follow the common sense rule and if you're going to drink , grab a can and that's what I did, in fact I have eight cans parked in my driveway, isn't it great to start a new year?

Welcome to 1970 or whatever it's called, or the Chinese calendar, welcome to the year of the horse and why the The Chinese would name a year after my mother-in-law. I will never know. I'm a little sluggish tonight, but every year it takes me a little longer to recover from New Year's Eve. This year he should be back in shape in March. The hardest part of the New Year, Lilly, is just getting up on New Year's Day, but I had to get up to watch all the football games and I watch them all because I bet money on all of them, the Rose Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Super Bowl and now according to my bookie I'm on the toilet, one of my favorite things to do on New Year's is watch the parade and that was new this year, it was a little different, it started in Times Square, New York walked up Park Avenue and passed.

Harlem hasn't been heard of since people in show business, although New Year's means watching all the movies from

1977

to vote for the Academy Awards, right now the most popular movies are about outer space , Star Wars, Logan's Run and Close Encounters of the Third Kind at my age I'm happy to have a close encounter with any kind of things I like to do at the beginning of the New Year it's like making some predictions for 1978 I predict we won't see a black man to go to outer space and the first black man to go to outer space will be Andrew Young, well, whether he wants to go or not, pretty well Sammy Davis Jr. will pawn his entire jury and erase the national debt Redbox Prediction Idi Amin will guest host the Tonight Show Charlton Heston Paul Newman Barbara Streisand and Steve McQueen and those are just the orders I predict the NBA will have an all-

white

basketball It will be very fun to watch, but at least you'll be able to pronounce their names.

I predict there will be a new drink on the market. All plums are a combination of Ripple and plum juice. Excellent pick-me-up, but once you get up, there's only one place you can go if Reverend Knight is going to solve the energy crisis, he'll only wear half his hair. I also predicted that Jimmy Carter will finally have the operation he has needed for a long time. You'll get his brother Billy out of his family. and my final prediction is that this will be the year of the box for the 14th time in a row. I'll be rejected for the Legion of Decency award.

I know everyone makes other New Year's resolutions. I'm only going to do one. I won't do it. I'm going to make the same mistakes in 1978 that I made in

1977

unless I make them at a more attractive time. I'm going to that Fox, welcome special guest star, no, no, after this best Friday, Johnny Marie sings the song, now here's the kicker. part with guest stars Andy Griffith and chakra is a fool Indonesia watch it tomorrow at 8:00 7:00 central mountain on ABC I am delighted to introduce our next guest our ladies and gentlemen she is a series hungry Tabitha and I predict she will be a Lovely superstar Lisa Hartman, you're inviting us tonight.

I'm done, Sergeant Andy, it's not the butcher, okay, if you didn't enjoy it, I'm sick of using and these are the Pennsylvania ones, why would you call us the Pennsylvania ones? Because you guys smell good like Pittsburgh, but. We'll be back, but I was your knight in five minutes, okay, we'll hold it up for just a second, what can I do for you? It's about what you sold me yesterday oh yeah I had found that put it on the watch by the way there's a feature I forgot to tell you it's also a stopwatch yeah that's my full five minutes after I bought it it stopped you fell from 5 to double to 8 to 3 the band broke on the cracked glass perfect I can't understand this is a change made only because the inside of the Mira trunk is not Swiss.

I want my money back in no way. I want my $50 if I use their satisfaction guarantee. Well, I have your victims in my pocket and I can, dear. I'm pleased with the beautiful records from Thursday night and you know what that means Amateur Night and once again we have our judge from Starbuck Studios in Hollywood, California, ela, how is it this week? Johnson and Justin Jr. colony lee or you can call me King or you can call me Jade or you can call me Artie or you can call rtj or you can call me heart AJ dunya I think then you ask me how is a covered doctor how is he but I was about to miss the glass with my eyes in tip shape, ready for action, I said, pick from the trash, room to move tonight because today is the semi-finals of the amateur competition here at the club, yes, and who was your brother at home, although this is. his partner mr.

William T Olsen oh how you miss Dozin Oh you don't have to call me but you see Oakland and you can come as a neighbor oh sorry I'm interrupting you know his name is big annuity start here boy the first semi-finalist is this tonight is the man who doesn't need an introduction, he just needed us to try to give this place a little class tonight, so I'll play a classical number and three part harmony. Do you know this guy is amazing? skocy yesterday you know he had his hands with Lori's her London I wish they were in London right now to be finalists is you know the old saying there's no business like show business well this well has nothing to do with show business Hey Wow, come on I accidentally put my doggy bag on it's good to be here I just flew in from Vegas I got sick and no one knew it like in a song now dedicated to my dad daddy's got a new bag he's got the music in me I've got the music in me okay, let's start a hundred Webster invented the dictionary, he had a fight with his wife and one word led to another the news Anita Bryant, the drummer drove across the river yesterday, yeah, she didn't want to take a ferry, hey, if Ella Fitzgerald was married Darth Vader, she would be a lift.

Many people think I'm immature. I'm not taking a break now. A few words from our sponsor. Hi, I'm John Cameron Swayze and this is a Timex wristwatch. Excuse me, thank you, licking it and it still works. Now ladies and gentlemen notice that I'm going to put this watch on this hand and now I have effect for this watch from this hand to this empty hand right before your eyes, okay, close your eyes, yeah, I'm just playing with your mind, right? what does it mean? It's his hand again the cinematic words plead for that landing event ladies and gentlemen the watch is now in this hand the hardest part to bring him back from this hand have you seen him you know comedian sing a song he's going to do magic, you see, two jokes. they're saying he can't do impressions, ball stuff, people, the Bull, let's come with a great impression of Paul Lin's dog, Althea, healthy by Karl Malden's awesome ladies and gentlemen.

The handkerchief wants to do a little more magic for you, ladies and gentlemen, before his eyes. Now I'm going to do something up here, look at the ground right before your eyes, ladies at work, and I'll make it look like: Hey, scare it, dear Andy, so that your eyes look there to put the raisins from your garden and it will get going if you think he was good tonight you should have seen his last performance. Well, with any luck, this will be the last one today. It's the lady's sign on the road, dangerous curves ahead, mr.

What did you think about her doctor? One day she said: Yes, enormous talent, no doubt in my mind who: today's winner in the semi-final is honey. Not on that date. I promised you not tonight. I've been seeing too many men. I thought you said. you stopped going out that's not true I just want to cut back a little I said where are you going well she might have a sister on Saturday Starsky and Hutch go to the craps tables to catch a murderer and the bet puts their lives at risk ask me now later, in the love's vow, a young impostor on his head, there is a very fine line between going all the way and going too far.

The Love Boat, which Saturday starting at 9:00 8:00 Central Mountain on ABC, you know, music is the universal language is like

comedy

, in fact, if you mix the two, you really get something special. People respect great musicians like me and they respect great comedians. All but one, let's change that. Tonight we have combined the best musician, but the only man who does not receive respect ladies and gentlemen once again Rodney Dangerfield and the gerald wilson orchestra good professionals you already know me I love crowds now the child my house was always full there was always people around you know that I come for a lot of hard work to the old stupid family that's what I come to get rid of the family that I have you know last week I looked in my family tree two dogs were using it I tell you I can't relax you know right The other night I feel like having some drinks at his house I told the waiter surprise me he showed me a naked photo my wife is in a good mood tonight although I tell you I just signed a big contract with General Motors for two years I bought a car new at a reasonable price buy a car we get stuck you know, the salesman always says that she is the beauty, he never says that he is a beauty.

I found out why there is a very similar karna girl, even a car, a girl, when you go to use a thing, you always lie about the mileage and with one, a car or a girl how many times Nicole tomorrow when you really needed it won't change all my life boy I was rejected and I was a boy my yo-yo never came back when I was a boy I was poor too when I was a the boy that everyone was stopping is his only pig is that then when I was poor I was so poor my rich aunt Ida no, I owed him $20 once for my birthday my old man showed me a photo of a cake in the right sector every date when Now I blow out the candles with the kids, today is different.

I have to go, they don't appreciate it either. It was my children's birthday last week. Hello, a party without the cake to kill the blood. All candles. I said I hope your wish comes true. He said if so, that'll be the last time you'll see me blowing candy, smart boy. I was like the last time I took my son to Coney Island. I guess he wants to go to a crazy house. He told me to save my money and be home. Soon, unless it's Christmas for my son, that was a beauty for the boy. He wanted a BB gun.

I gave him a BB gun. He gave me a sweatshirt with a bull lining. Achilles tries to go crazy for three years, even though he goes to a private school, he won. Don't tell me where it is that the kids were hard all over my face. It had pimples that stick, grab and play connect the dots. One is, look, the looks didn't tell me anything, it's underneath what counts, old death, that was it, report that looks, but how many times. take a walk down the street you see a tall and handsome man walking Ahmad Ahmad a short and ugly girl I never saw the Jew kiss I have a pretty and ugly girl she got married she is happy to have met an ugly boy you know until he they got two very ugly children that's my video laughs I paid for everything there's no less I live in a dangerous neighborhood very bad forget it we're just last week a guy pointed a knife at me I guess it wasn't a really professional job there was butter very good, the first The day I moved in I asked about the carpets and how long it had been since I walked to the subway, he said I don't know until now, no one came to my doors because I was leaning on the moves because this guy knocked on my door last week he told me that Koreans need our help he said I could give just one dollar then sugu problem you can tell a joker straight they always come knocking on my door yeah when we support different movements units because this guy called Last week when my door told me that Koreans need our help to be able to give just one dollar, then Sugu, his wife and twelve children will have rice for Holi.

How will I have rice for everything, but the children will receive books and pencils and sugu can get a new boat and can send four children to university. They might as well be very happy to give sugu a dollar. He would show my wife how to stretch the money to where we have this game in the bag. Now get out of there. turn up that clock listen to what I'm saying your own chair this is senator dexter he's doing a trophy presentation after the game would it be okay if you waited here on the sidelines sure nice to meet you senator listen why don't you do it?

Stay there by the heater, keep the water hot, come on guys, let's go now, hurry up, oh, he dropped it, I don't think so. Oh, what do you care? McNally, that pass hit you in my hands. What is wood out there? the coach makes the ball slip Oh, what a horse is coming into your hands here, hey, isn't it? McNally, yes, consider the texture. I am one ofyour biggest fans. Great game. Thanks, come on, Sal McGowan on a couple of photos. Busby's will keep me. burning now that was Pro pros disgusting ah pretty bad codes I think I'm ready for the day don't worry about that it will take care of a lot of things a stitch in time save nine it will always say football we need your battery that's why I'm doing this for you now it's okay now come back and get out 10 9 8 the teacher would read rule 32 right there the trophy presentation oh please I can't worry about that I was worried about sudden death death this game was a loss who's talking about the game I'm talking of my sudden death seems real the reason I have this bird on my shoulder because Lester Wilson's dancers are going to dance on the birds take it come here your little bird yours now it's time for another visit with Cupid's favorite partner, Alphonse and Victoria, it's ridiculous to lose a lot of weight.

I need longer vacations. You promised to help me get on The Love Boat and I end up here on the ship of fools. Why do you always complain? Why can't you be happy like me? I love the water. You should have the brain of a minnow, the face of a catfish and you smell like a dead hare. It was my appetite. Troubled waters make me lose my appetite like Goodman. Death can make you lose your appetite water, so you know. I realize that chili must be difficult for you with that constant fear of being a harpoon gun Julie, you will spare no expense on this boat, choose this boat.

Spent some honey on me, of course, look. here your measurements on the side 5643 63 you know why you couldn't have been on a knot board Oh, why would you put your face in the water and hit your lips on the water? God, you look like a worm, don't be, you don't know anything. about fishing, look at a piece of protein now, I only have big eyes and an ugly sin and its big mouth is wide open, be quick, I want to catch a big fish and stop it, why don't you take that fishing rod and stop it?

Go ahead and get started, don't button up your labs to live for the minute, let me do some fishing, sure, fine, fishing, who cares if I'm not having fun? Why did you have fun? Nobody else enjoys you. The only thing about you you will never enjoy. Think of me, I see myself too darling, I love you, you know that everything I have is yours, well, I'm glad to hear you say that our sources, well, I mean it and everything I have is fair, we're fighting again on our vacations, well, we always end up fighting because we're together all the time, maybe we should take separate vacations, all those terrible things you say to me, you don't even want me to love me, but suppose I jumped overboard right now, right? what would you think we do?

Don't do anything stupid here, you jumped into the Pacific water or you'll end up with pigs, they'll throw you overboard and up and down the coast I can't complain about Nick, just $50, we'd be fine and one other thing, yeah. Only you have both. I know you'll float away before we say goodnight. We like to think. I like to think. I guess Don Knotts and the lovely Lisa Hartman and tune in next week, folks, when I guess we'll miss each other. Florence Henderson and who else was Bob oh yes, the silver that