Duck Dynasty: Jase and Willie Challenge Alan and Jep to a Survival Race

oh yeah we've been playing badminton for as long as I can remember it's like a family sport okay keep up the rally jeff we were kids we just made homemade rackets and nets oh there's a net there jason rejection off the net in a moment,

willie

. I was the intramural champion at our local college point nine five but then I won it oh my ankle is killing me I think it's swelling right at the ankle right at the ankle so that makes me better than the intramural champion at the local university, no pressure. I'm just saying I know there's no pressure shut up about the pressure I've got it oh there's pressure the pressure's on point I'm aware you're sweating I can see your sweat flop from here well he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders ah and he has the weight of four cheeseburgers in his belly with no pressure points you guys won the game over he served you a blast zone and hey, what did you do with your bangs?

It's time for another game, hey, it's time for some hamburgers yes, I'm hungry too, yes, what you're saying, I'm hungry and my ankle hurts after eating the hamburger, it's time for two out of three, how much It will take time to cook these burgers, guys, is that the million dollar one? ask honey, that doesn't help and you're going to burn them, won't they taste like lighter fluid? Yes, I can't grill well. I have wings. I hurt my shoulder on all those spikes. One thing about Willie and Jace. never change they're not good losers they can't start a fire you can't make your body hold up after a game of badminton plus you look like an idiot i think he looks great to be honest with you they're losers they're just not very good he's like a little bird that fell out of the nest oh, I hurt my wing you stop bothering him there's the mother bird coming to the rescue I'm a better competitor I'm prettier and I I'm my mom's favorite rhythm, that ding dongs, you name any other outdoor game or activity, I guarantee you will lose, hey, we have done a lot of outdoor activities in the military, they used to leave us with only a k-bar knife. in the middle of the jungle and we had to find a way back to the base camp and survive while doing it that's what they call war, you did it for fun, it's actually not a bad idea mm-hmm, okay, that's what I'm all about talking. about it's not the war part, you have to have danger, leave us in the middle of the forest, we run back to the fields, whoever gets there first wins, me and Willie, against you two clowns, I can't do that just because you are scared to lose a real game Halsdon turned into one of those bloated house cats my brothers tend to forget that they're not the only ones with nature skills I'm not a paw-licking house cat they always say the owl is getting old, everyone doesn't a nature lover who can't grow a beard is one of those cats whose claws have already been removed here we go I can't do this I can't do that you just turned me into a cat that's me I'm By the way, what is that?

You know that when a cat comes up to you, it purrs, what are you talking about? Hey, he comes close to you and wants you to pet him with any purr. You know he's coming to you anyway. He's rubbing your back. bag, are you all inside or are you going to be a house cat? He rubs you and purrs, you know, are you all in? I say let's cut these guys, I mean, well, I'm definitely in now that's what I'm talking about. on hey, don't be one of those hot dog bones, no one eats this, I'm not going to eat, I'm not going to eat that, hey, cool, hey, Phil, we're in the drop zone, copy, yeah, we're here, The eagle has landed, copy, let's go.

Start this now. This is what it's all about: boys, brothers in arms, competing to see who can emerge from the wild. The first team, okay, go back to Phil's house wins. You're lucky I have to pick up Miss K. or hey, I'd get into this hey, I'd take you guys to school, I had some appointments I should've canceled, I don't need a knife, I don't need a sense of direction, I don't even need clothes, I'm not sure that was a good idea. All I need are my two best friends, which would be Laverne there and Shirley here, just doing it like always.

The package was delivered well. Are you ready? I have the cookies in the basket. I'm going to enjoy your pain, jip, that's a strange thing to say to your son. We'll throw the baby out with the bathwater. Zod, can we just run? Hey, Roger, let me get fat on your mop. It's been nice to know that you guys are going, what are you two fools? Still here because you're supposed to be burning tires right now, so I'll leave it inside. This is not a sprint. This is a marathon. Oh no, this is a

race

. You already started running wide when I said go.

I know Alan and Jeff. Haye, they burned rubber and threw leaves, dust, trees, everything else, limbs, you know what we should do this weekend, go to a spa, ooh, that would be amazing, we'll need it after this, have you ever done shiatsu, did you do the hot stones in the back uh that's nice that's very nice have you ever done a thai massage too much stretching you know what I like aromatherapy oh friend I love aromatherapy okay wait wait wait wait in three what's it your favorite smell one two three lavender lavender oh my god we both said lavender at the same time how wonderful it is that I knew this is going to be fun you need to trust me I'm a nature lover I don't even think you know where you're going look at the sun it doesn't lie I know sets in the west that's my point what's the point the point is that was my point now you're trying to make it your point would you write down the laws of the universe?

That was my point at this point I have a clear direction of where I am I'm headed and now I want to go in a straight line. Do you have a better plan? Actually, I'm not talking about that. I know a shortcut. You have a shortcut. Yes. How can you have a shortcut? If you are following the instructions. straight line either way Al and Jep don't stand a chance. Look, Jeffy has the uh, I have a stick in the ground, so we have a shadow that would be the east because, uh, the western shadow for this time of year, so now we know the east, the west, which one. it means north south I mean this is the east oh wait a minute no no we're not right because look this is the north side of this tree because it's Moscow um actually there's more moss on this side well you can't always tell it's a forest dense, so moss rules, that's why it's not as good as the sunroof, you know, sometimes just because of the lack of sunlight, so yeah, it won't work well knowing that being the big brother is a position that comes with a lot of power, oh who are you Jeff, who hurt you, you control the flow of information to all the other brothers, that's how Houdini died.

I thought Houdini died from a punch to the stomach. No, he was a wattle. When my brothers were younger, they believed anything. I said no. No matter how ridiculous it was, I look for it when you get home, of course, Jeff never really got over that. I'll say let's run with the parents, yes, you with me, come on, okay, let's do it, yes, oh, I need a break now. I need water. I think we can drink our urine if we boil it. I think that's how Amelia Earhart died. I think we are doing well. I didn't know if we were doing it right, so I grabbed our watches.

Don't know. I don't know, I feel like we're doing well, ah, it's a path, huh, ah, what's up with that? Didn't I tell you? Yes, honey, amazing, you know this way, no, no, well, what do you think in which direction? Um, I don't know. I say it this way Jeff, okay, uh-oh, so much for your straight line, this is the shortcut, too late to come back now, no, no, no, wait, my biggest problem with this shortcut so far is that it definitely doesn't It's a shortcut, I'm not. Getting into that water, my next biggest problem is that Jase didn't mention anything about crossing a raging river.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, what are you doing taking off my shirt? Why are you taking off your shirt? get wet because I'm going to throw this shirt to the other side I only have one shirt see what an idiot well now we have to cross and take my shirt there are also snakes alligators snapping turtles let's back up and see if we can find another way I'm not going to back up and chase it's just diving there , let's reconsider this, it's cold, totally fine, chase your face, it looks like you're cold, it's crossing this stream, the shortest route to my dad's house, yeah, come on, I'm not going in. that water crossed my mind that this might make

willie

uncomfortable yeah man we've come this far i really don't care at all it's not that bad it's on your mind it's freezing in here i haven't seen it this uncomfortable since i inserted a water bug in your ear while you were sleeping let go of the board and just take it off that's the best way to do it

jase

I feel like it's in my boot it was amazing until you had to go to the hospital and have it taken off just get It's over with ah, something's biting you, No, hit the family jewels, I don't know why you're so slow, that's the worst, I'm letting my insides acclimate, just rip off the band-aid, oh yeah, yeah, that's over.

What's happening? with your drink it's probably not that bad for you look look okay come on oh damn what are you doing lying down? Oh, so what exactly are you going to do with all this junk you've bought? I'm going to give it to charity, except for the cups, I need them right, I didn't think you'd show oh yeah oh no, look, it'll all be ruined, look, I told you we'd win, there's no doubt we were going to win this stupid thing, hey , jeff, oh, uh, get out of there No way, look who finally showed up, your winner was late to the party.

There is no way tea in hand, biscuits in their stomachs for the last hour. Yes, everyone wants it. There's no way we'll just find our way. Clever Burnsie from church came for our Come home, you can't hitchhike. The

survival

of the 21st century. Baby, hitchhiking always wins. That's how I used to hang out with your mom. That's why you are here. Basically, you all cheated. There was nothing when I went over the rules about you not being able to catch a ride. They left all of you They left you Hey, hey, hey, just accept it, it's okay, you lost, hold on, stop complaining, I didn't lose, oh, I lost now you don't understand, you know what this means if you know the rules were wrong look If we get into this hot cookies and jelly thing, that's your new hobby, that's my new hobby, I can't believe you did that, that took me well, that's it, I'm starving, I work hard, get it that way.