10 Examples of What Gaslighting Sounds Like

(upbeat music) - Hello, Psych2Goers. Welcome back to the channel. We wanted to take a moment and make sure you know how grateful we are for all of your support. Your continued support is

what

helps us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. Now let's continue. Gaslighting is a word that gets thrown around a lot in the media these days, but

what

does

gaslighting

really mean? The term has its origins in Patrick Hamilton's original 1939 play, "Gaslight," where a husband psychologically manipulates his wife. In the story, the husband tries to convince his wife that she is crazy by manipulating small elements of her environment and insisting that she is wrong, remembering things incorrectly when she points out the changes he makes.

The play's title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home while pretending that nothing has changed in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which someone causes you to question your own reality, memory, or perceptions. So here are 10

examples

of what

gaslighting

can sound like. As a disclaimer, we want to point out that not everyone who says these phrases is automatically a gaslighter. Gaslighting is intentional and a gaslighter knows exactly what he says and what he does. One, "What did I do to you?" If someone responds to you this way, it is possible that he really doesn't know what he has done and is asking you about it.

But when it comes to gaslighting, they are aware that they have done something to hurt you and they pretend to play dumb. By asking this question defensively, they are denying the impact they had on you and also forcing you to question it. Two, “Everyone around you is not the problem, you are the problem.” Sometimes this is used as a way to shut down the conversation or dialogue for whatever is happening. This type of language is often known as victim blaming, where the gaslighter will make statements that make you feel like you are the problem, even when you have been the victim of something like bullying or abuse and the situation is outside of your direct reach. . control.

Three: "I'm sorry you feel that way." When someone hurts you and says something like this, it's not a real apology. Rather, it's a way of making you feel like you're the problem. They say they are sorry that you feel the way you feel instead of apologizing for what they have done or how they made you feel. Four: "I don't remember saying that. I think you made that up." This is the phrase that a gaslighter will use to intentionally make you question your experience, behavior, and thoughts in order to divert attention away from them. Five: "It's your anxiety that made me do the things I do." This is a common response when criticizing a gas lighter for its behavior.

They use this as a reason to justify their own negative behavior when, in reality, they should take responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming you. Six, "You need help." This term is used to imply that you are the problem and that you need to address their problems rather than them having to solve their own. This is a closing response to avoid resolving things with you. Seven, "It's your fault." Gaslighting people will neglect any responsibility for their actions or a situation. Instead, they will place the blame squarely on others. This can be a repetitive cycle where you may be made to feel like something is your fault even if it isn't.

You can even apologize for things that are not your fault to make peace with them. Eight: "You are too emotional." This implies that your characteristics are seen as defects. And this can make you question your own sense of who you are. Nine: "No big deal." Gaslighting people tend to minimize the impact something has on you. They may make you feel like you are giving something more importance, when it is your right to talk about the things that bother you and express yourself openly. 10, "Why are you so defensive all the time? You're attacking me." This is a common phrase used when challenging a gaslighter.

They have a tendency to turn the conversation toward you and make it seem like you are the one in the wrong by accusing you of being defensive and attacking them. Then they become victims. Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you? These are just some of the things a gas lighter will tell you. You may have heard this before or even said it yourself, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you've been fooled or that you're a gaslighter. Gaslighting is intentional and a gaslighter knows very well what he says and what he does. We recommend that you seek help or guidance if you suspect that gaslighting has influenced your life.

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