Wild New Trump Tell-All, Herschel Walker’s Abortion Scandal & Jimmy Talks to Scared Squirrel Guy

I want to settle down because it was uh, it was a very big day for those of us who follow the adventures of this ridiculous person known as Donald Trump today came the highly anticipated new book about the trusted man written by Maggie Haberman and the New York Times. and if you thought there was nothing more to

tell

you or wrong, there are so many things, starting with this, when he was five years old, Donald Trump, a five-year-old Donald Trump threw rocks at a baby named Dennis Foreign. basically the same thing he did to Mike Pence many years later.

I'm just going over this because there are so many nuggets it's like a 300 piece family meal. I'll start with uh Donald Trump thinks gay people love him in 2017 there's a meeting In the Oval Office he asked the hedge fund manager, a guy named Paul Singer, he said, are you gay? and Paul Singer said no, but my son is, and Trump kept

tell

ing him that gays love me, and then gays love you almost as much. like they love to be referred to as gay, you know, when Kovitz started, they say Trump, the reason he tried to downplay it is because he thought it made him look bad.

He coveted and then went to the bathroom and spray painted his entire face orange. You know, years ago, according to the book, years ago I was on a plane with Jeffrey Epstein's friend, Jesus, this is Lane Maxwell, he put on the movie Bloodsport starring John Claude Van Damme, they had a movie player and he had his 13 year old son. Son Eric moves quickly through the dialogue to get to the fight scenes in Bloodsport. A surprising part of that story is that he let Eric get on the plane, but you know, when Joe Biden beat him, Trump told Rudy Giuliani to quote, do whatever you have to do to get it.

The election was overturned and Rudy came out and held a press conference outside a dildo store where Trump, who was interviewed for this book several times, told Maggie Haberman that he wasn't watching TV on the 6th. January during the riots, which is the complete opposite. What everyone who worked there said was that he wasn't watching television, he was watching eight televisions, it was like there weren't enough televisions, he brought more television so he could watch it. Trump often made fun of his son-in-law Jared Kushner, so we have that in common, I guess you know, one time Ivanka wanted to go camping and Trump said can you imagine Jared and his skinny butt camping of the?

It would be like something out of Deliverance and then he made banjo noises, which I guess it is. more dignified than if he started screaming like a pig but I don't know we also learned that remember that when Trump was going to carry out his brilliant plan he had to receive the Taliban at Camp David and then he didn't read the book correctly it says that when they are planning During the visit, he was worried that Ivanka would have to wear a burqa in the presence of the Taliban, which bothered him by inviting the people who helped Osama Bin Laden.

That's one thing, but no one puts a burqa on Ivanka. The only burqa, Donald Trump, wants to be present. with a side of fries, okay, Trump was very focused on how the people who worked for him looked, the book said he was singularly interested in their appearance, which I guess that policy didn't apply to Don Jr and that . Nesta had loose pubic hair stuck to her shin, but she once complained that Elaine Duke, who from her Department of Homeland Security looked like a housewife and didn't like that, but the men in the Trump White House only the most handsome ones got men like Steve Bannon Roger Stone Rudy Giuliani I mean if you think they were contestants on Love Island if I didn't know better what book this is, I have to admit I find it very entertaining, it's not boring, it's not like Joe Biden sucking on a roll . by Neko Wafers goes to bed at eight o'clock, does like 10 crazy things a day, and of course Trump says that's all a lie, the whole book is a lie, like he always does, and his supplicants are doing everything do your best to change the topic.

Trump gets off stage the other night after another amazing rally, thousands of people and someone wanted him to sign a hat, they threw the hat on stage, he catches it, but then they threw the Sharpie, stabbed him with one hand, he smashes it. Joe Biden can. I don't stop a bike, but Trump can sit there after talking to people, catch Sharpies in the air, the only thing Joe Biden can catch is coveting good hands, dad, proud of you too, dad, if you could come pick me up. I have been in this field for two weeks. I just don't know how to get home.

Meanwhile, Trump's former celebrity apprentice in Georgia had a very bad day. Herschel Walker, who is running for Senate in Georgia, calls himself a man of God, Mr. Pro-Life. Mr Family Values ​​has been accused of paying for a former lover's

abortion

. A woman claims he paid for her

abortion

in 2009 and this wasn't just a random claim. She had a check he wrote her for 700 and a recovery card to prove it. Of course, Herschel did what people in his position do when something like this happens: He ran straight to Sean Hannity to deny deny deny that the woman has a receipt for an abortion.

They claim that five days later, on September 17, you sent a check for 700 and that you sent it on a recovery card it's your signature uh I haven't seen it uh but you know I can tell you uh I sent so many that it makes me better uh they send a lot of Whatever, come on, Sean, you can't expect me to follow up on all the abortion cards I've sent. I like how he says he hasn't seen them while it's on the screen right next to him. Imagine being so stupid that you write a check for an abortion. you want to keep secret and that card, if you're wondering where you can get a card like that, you can find it right next to the parents and graduates section at CVS, then hers and he claims it's all a lie designed to take the Voters don't focus on inflation, they blame the Democrats, the media, the Tooth Fairy, they talk about their family values, they do the whole routine until one of their sons, named Christian Walker, decides he's had enough. enough of this.

I remained silent in the face of the atrocities committed against my mother. were minimized. I was silent when it was revealed that my father was his to walk around with all these random children all over the country, none of whom he raised and you know my favorite topic to talk about is the absence of the father, surprise because it affected me, that's why I talk about it all the time because it affected me family values ​​people he has four children four different women weren't in the house raising one of them he was out having sex with other women do you give a shit about family values ​​Erica Don Jr , can? do that, you have no idea what my mom and I have survived, we could have finished this on the first day, no, I haven't told any stories, I'm just saying, don't lie, don't lie to my mom.

Don't lie to me, don't lie about the lives you've destroyed and act like you're a moral family man. Everyone should care about those conservatives. Wow, that's personal. Oops, I should have aborted that one too. It's going to be a fun Thanksgiving at the Walker house okay this is fun this has nothing to do with politics what you're about to see is a man on a zoom meeting who was in his home office going about his business when he was rudely and suddenly interrupted in nature and I think for the purposes of the City Council, um, thank you, that's one of the best clips I've ever seen of him.

I don't know if someone was throwing the

squirrel

at him, but I want to know. so we tracked down the guy, his name is James Reich, he lives in Pittsburgh and he's joining us now too, so hi James, hi Jimmy, how are you? Thank you for joining us now. Are you in the office where this happened? I'm right here at the crime scene, that's right, Jimmy, oh thank God, you didn't get your gum, you know, amen, well, you know, I don't know, I actually need to refill them. I recognize that today perhaps he did. I know we don't know yet. so tell us what happened uh everything I want to hear it all you got it so it's actually a great story.

I mean, last night I couldn't have been anywhere better. I was in the hospital with my mother-in-law and she just had a fall and it was horrible, so I relieved my wife, she's going home and you know, I thought she was a good husband. I was going to spend a nice, quiet night and came back. I'm on my way home and I get a call from my wife and she says, "Oh my God, something came into your office, something came into my office and she came in and put in an email. Turns out we realized there was a camera to babysitters." I went to look and it turns out there was some kind of rodent that came into the office so I said okay we need Animal Control we need to get animal control so luckily when I got home we had a great time .

Boy, his name was Todd from the local leopard state player animal control and he came in, cleaned up the area where we were until 3am. m. cleaning and disinfecting everything, we realized it was a

squirrel

, but with all the confidence in the world he told me, hey, the flu. It was open, you know, the flu was open in my chimney and um, the squirrel had to find a way in, he got in somehow and was probably just trying to get a lot of stuff out, things went well, the squirrel found his way in. back to the fireplace according to Todd, okay and the next thing we know the next thing we know the next thing we know and and I was clear that I had every confidence the next thing you know the next day doing business in my office as usual and starting to listen noises and Then you realize never trust a guy named Todd, boy, you know that actually gives me flashbacks.

I think there might be something there. I need to think about that. So, the squirrel walks in, you grab the baseball bat, we hear you scream for Julie, which is it. Julie, yeah totally loose squirrel, look Julie is our fierce babysitter, she's amazing as it turns out she wasn't even home, she wasn't even home, now let me ask you do you have kids or is Julie there to take care of you? probably a combined job and you know she already asked for hazard pay, so yeah, we have three cool guys, so you kept this captured on The Nanny camera or whatever and just when you started to feel safe, ghosting happened again. foreigner, yeah, you know, actually I left.

I was headed to the west coast. I left the next morning and my wife for the first time got a Tic Tac account. Play the video and you know the rest is kind of a story because I'm here. with you tonight and now the clip has millions of views. Has anyone recognized you? You say: Hey, are you the squirrel guy? Oh my gosh it was, so I was away for almost a week on the west coast and I was on an American Airlines flight back east and I literally woke up to my screaming and laughing in the kitchen, the flight attendants turning on the light to validate that it was actually me sitting there in the front row.

Did they bring you a little package of acorns or something? But. Crazy, it was red eyes, so now what are you going to do? Are you planning to move out of your house or just burn it to the ground or what will you do if both options are considered? But fortunately, I am very sorry. wow, I don't think, I don't think you need to apologize, now we'll have fun with this, oh okay James, it's like the real James. I suggest psychiatry, you know, when those squirrels smell fear, there's no telling what they might do. It's clear that they were good accessories, accessories, I mean, it was incredible, it was incredible.

Well thanks James, you're a great sport and we appreciate you contacting us, but be warned, we have a good show every night. two guys flew three thousand miles to go put a squirrel on that man's head, wait