Hur Hearing Backfires on GOP, Witness in Trump Case Gives Bombshell Interview: A Closer Look

-A congressional

hearing

into Joe Biden's handling of classified information backfired for Republicans when the special counsel confirmed that Biden actually had a photo recall and admitted there were clear reasons why Donald Trump was impeached and Biden No. Meanwhile, a key

witness

in the Trump

case

came forward and revealed the suspicious behavior he saw in an explosive

interview

. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." For some reason, Attorney General Merrick Garland gave Republicans exactly what they wanted when he appointed Robert Hur as special counsel to investigate Biden's handling of classified documents. Hur is a registered Republican who clerked for a conservative Supreme Court justice and was originally nominated to be a federal prosecutor by Donald Trump.

In fact, he allegedly received help from right-wing operatives connected to Donald Trump to prepare for his testimony yesterday. Although I can't imagine what kind of advice he got from Trumpworld. Were you shown sketches of Trump in the courtroom to prepare? Okay, the best way to appear trustworthy and credible during testimony is to make a face like you're passing a gallstone, a face like you're passing a second, larger gallstone, a face like you just saw your wife having sex with a grimace, then raise your hands as if you are waiting to be handcuffed. In fact, the lawyer Hur got to help him represented three Trump White House officials, including Steve Bannon.

If he ever needed legal help, he personally wouldn't hire a person who also represented Steve Bannon. Steve and I have nothing in common except that we are both pioneers in the field of dressing casually for jobs where most people wear suits. Although I prefer to wear my clothes sequentially instead of, you know, all at once. I would never wear two collared shirts on top of each other like Bannon does, a style popular with '80s movie villains who say things like, "Aren't you a little poor for the yacht club, Gordo?" The thing is, Republicans got exactly the kind of prosecutor they would want: a registered Republican with a history in right-wing politics and connections to GOP figures.

And yet, even that guy wrote in his report that no criminal charges are warranted in this matter, and the evidence suggests that Biden did not intentionally withhold these documents. Hur even went so far as to explain in very specific detail why Trump was charged but not Biden. Hur made this distinction in his brief, and I quote here: "Several material distinctions between Mr. Trump's

case

and Mr. Biden's case are clear." Special counsel Robert Hur's report even included this distinction. "After being given multiple opportunities... and avoiding prosecution, Mr. Trump allegedly did the opposite. According to the indictment, he not only refused to return the documents for many months, but also obstructed justice by recruiting others to destroy evidence and Contrary, Biden turned over classified documents to the National Archives and the Department of Justice, consented to the search of multiple locations, including his homes, submitted to a voluntary

interview

, and otherwise cooperated with the investigation. -Yes , that was such a concise and logical summary of the situation that I'm surprised he didn't end it with a callback clip, "And this was 'A Closer Look.'" How long would the "

closer

look

s" be if we removed all the crazy tangents, but don't hold your breath, honey.

The differences between the two cases are obvious. Biden returned his documents immediately and cooperated in every way possible. while Trump lied, obstructed investigators, moved documents, insisted that They were his and he kept them hidden in that weird Mar-a-Lago bathroom that has something fancy for every cheap thing. Beautiful chandelier, plastic trash can with bags visible, crystal chandelier, tissues still in box, ornate gold mirror, nursing home bathroom, fine marble countertop, tall strange windows by that you have to jump to see. And of course, worst of all, the $5 shower curtain. This just speaks to how brazen Trump was. The only reason to have a shower curtain like that is to hide in the shower.

But he said, "No, you can stack the boxes in front." Why do you have a cheap shower curtain there? This is how you hide a cheeky poster in your college dorm when your parents come to visit. What's back there? A sign with an alien smoking marijuana that says: take me to your dealer. That was pretty good. Don't you understand, Gordo? And yet, surprisingly, Republicans actually believe this makes Trump

look

good. This is what James Comer, Republican chairman of the oversight committee, said last night on Fox. -You can see how they are treating Donald Trump. He had documents in a place behind a closed door. -Well, first of all, the bathrooms in a person's house are usually only locked if someone is there.

So the Republican argument is basically: Don't worry, our national security secrets were safe while Donald Trump was in jail. Which sure, based on his diet, is probably most of the time. But he still has to go out to eat. Secondly, none of that is true. Trump had more than 300 classified documents spread across an active social club with more than 150 employees, where anyone can pay to be a member or attend a social event, such as a fundraiser, a wedding or a pre-Rudy Giuliani funeral. "Hey, Rudy, let's put you in the coffin now to save time." "Hey, I just got evicted from my apartment, so this is cool and it's bigger." -Also, I have no idea why you would want to have your wedding at Mar-a-Lago, of all places.

I mean, maybe you can't afford Chuck E. Cheese, but that's not fair. A wedding at Chuck E. Cheese would be great. For one thing, animatronic Chuck won't interrupt your wedding to rant about voting machines or bird-killing windmills. -Do you want to see a bird cemetery? Someday pass under a windmill. -Yeah, you won't get a Chuck E. Cheese tangent like that from old Robert Hur. You wouldn't have the courage. So Hur was everything the Republicans could have hoped for, but they were still angry with him. Sean Hannity even compared it to another investigation that Republicans are still obsessed with. -Today, for me, was the equivalent of July 2016 and... and James Comey came out saying, yes, Hillary had top secret classified information, 33,000 deleted emails, BleachBit, hammers, gadgets, everything we learned, but no reasonable prosecutor. she would process.

Is it quite similar? -That's very similar. Exactly the same. -Oh my God, all these years later you are still talking about Hillary Clinton. Get over it, guys. You're like the people who still complain about the ending of "Lost" when smart people know that "Lost" never ended. I don't have time to explain it now, so check out my two-hour YouTube video "Lost" that's still going on, you're just not trying hard enough to watch it. There is no comparison with the Trump case. In fact, a previously anonymous

witness

in the Trump impeachment just came forward and revealed to the world that he saw some very shady behavior involving boxes of classified documents being moved onto a plane. -I have just spoken exclusively with one of the central witnesses and one of the most important criminal cases, I must point out, in the history of the United States, the case of Trump's classified documents.

Until now, he has been known to the world as Trump Employee 5, as Mar-a-Lago's valet in special counsel Jack Smith's superseding indictment. He is referenced six times and has never spoken publicly until now. -We arrived at the airport. I ended up carrying all the luggage I had and he had a ton of boxes. -Did you notice that he had boxes? -Oh yeah. They were the boxes that were in the accusation, the white banker's boxes. That's what I remember carrying. -How many boxes were there? -They asked me in the interview, and I think it was like 10 to 15 is what I remember. -Have you ever thought: "Why were there so many boxes at Mar-a-Lago?" -For me, I'm just thinking, oh, the former president, he has a lot of things that he likes to carry with him. -Do you remember ever seeing those boxes return to Mar-a-Lago? -No.

I don't. -Wait, so they loaded boxes of classified documents onto a plane and never returned to Mar-a-Lago. Where are you now? Trump Tower, Russia? Are they just hanging around on a luggage belt at Newark Airport? Oh God. Was it an Alaska Airlines flight? Oh no. Oh, that would explain why everyone in the Portland area suddenly becomes a nuclear submarine expert. I almost built my own nuclear bomb, but the last part was covered in ketchup stains. That's my Oregon accent. Hey. Hey, you're in Portland now, honey. I have a lot of ear for the regions. Also, can we get back to this part? -He has many things that he likes to carry with him. -Of course he does.

Look at this lugger. If Steve Harvey asked you to name something Donald Trump does in his free time, lug would definitely be one of the top five answers on the board. Even the way he walks seems like someone carrying two invisible suitcases. So that's the reality of the Trump case versus the Biden case, but of course the media latched onto Hur's completely gratuitous claim that Biden would present himself to a jury as a sympathetic, well-intentioned old man with a bad memory, a claim This was contradicted by the transcript of Biden's interview and by Hur himself yesterday when asked about Biden's memory. -Told President Biden: "You...seem to have a photographic understanding and memory of the House." Did you say that to President Biden? -Those words do appear on page 47 of the transcript. -Photographic is what you said.

Alright? -That word does appear on page 47 of the transcript. -Although it never appeared in your report. Is that correct? The photographic word. -That doesn't appear in my report. -Wait, I'm sorry. Joe Biden has photographic knowledge and memory, but didn't he include it in his report? Because? That's much more shocking than saying he has a bad memory. It doesn't surprise me at all that an 81 year old person has trouble remembering some names or dates. But if you're telling me that Joe Biden has a photo retreat, then that's the turn of the century. That should be breaking news on CNN.

Although Biden seems like one of those grandpas who remembers exactly what temperature the thermostat was set to in each room before messing with him. Friends. Hey, friends, friends, you have the room elevated to 72 degrees. I had a great 68. I'm not kidding around here. You have to return it, Jack. I don't want my ice cream to melt. Now, to contrast how well his brain was working, Democrats at yesterday's

hearing

aired not one but two montages of Trump failing at his rallies. And while they were effective, I have to say I was a little upset. That's our thing, guys.

We've been doing that for nine years. Our investigators have spent so much time examining videotapes of Trump's brain explosion that they are scarred for life. They can't outdo us, Congress, when it comes to a Trump setup. So don't try because we can always outdo you. In fact, I'm going to prove it right now. Let's hope this isn't too long. You guys watch and I'll stay busy. Roll it up, Alex. -They are using law enforcement as a weapon for high-level electoral interference against Joe Biden's highest and only political appointment. A boy named me. China has total respect for Donald Trump and Donald Trump's very, very big brain.

Saudi Arabia and Russia will have... 10,000 known or suspected gang members. The wheel is older than the wall, did you know that? All the cars that exist, even the most expensive ones. Controlled by great juniors. Regulators and non-elected regulators. Our hope is word and world, authority and authoritarian powers. Exceeding expectations in the House for Midtown and the midterm year. They sacrifice every day for the furniture and the future of their children. When they contemplate your Semites, Yosemites, imposing sequoias. We did it with Obama. We won an election that everyone said couldn't be won. They are going to change the name of Pennsylvania.

You know how to spell us, right? You spell us USA. I just picked that up. I hope you guys are going to take a look at the oranges now. The oranges of research, the beginnings. I wish the Mueller report would cover the oranges, how it started. One of the great memories of all time. It's called up here. Ding, boom, this is me. I hear bing. If you have a windmill near your house, congratulations. They say noise causes cancer. Tell me that, okay? Nikki Haley is in charge of security. Nancy Pelosi, or Nancy as I call her.

We really appreciate it, Tim Apple. You just saw? Is incredible. Now you have a voter ID card to buy a loaf of bread. People flush the toilet 10 or 15 times. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, pshh, pom. God bless theUSA. -Oh look, I drew a brand new sketch of Trump's courtroom. There is obviously no equivalence between these two, neither in the way they handled the classified documents nor in the way their brains worked. Don't take it away from me. Take it from Robert Hur and the Congressional Democrats, although we can certainly get behind them, because when it comes to Trump's most embarrassing moments, here at Late Night we have a... -Photographic understanding and remembrance. -This has been "A

closer

look." Or don't do it.