The Toxic Side To Elegance

There is a reason why I teach modern

elegance

and why I don't want to go in the direction of traditional

elegance

. Because there is a

toxic

side

that I don't want to promote, that I don't want to be a part of. And that's what I want to discuss in today's video. My dear elegant ladies, welcome back to another video. Ladies, I know I haven't seen or spoken to you for a while and to be honest I've been incredibly busy the last few months as you know we currently have my summer school going on with The Secrets Of.

The Elite Woman summer school that is going strong. And I am very busy with my students. We launched this program in July and we have a few weeks left, which means my hands are tied. But I still wanted to stop by and post a new YouTube video and talk about a topic that's actually very close to my heart. And that is, of course, elegance, but I know that elegance can have its

side

s. Like any niche in this world, like any topic, at the end of the day nothing is perfect. Well, it's actually funny that I brought that up because if you look at the elegance community, people who are extremist supporters of elegance, there's a lot of insecurity there in terms of, if you start to dig into why people are attracted to having to be perfect all the time and having to become elegant.

Because elegance is about perfection and truly being that untouchable person, who has no flaws, who is above everyone at any moment. And so that person feels safe and feels like they have power because they become untouchable. They are above people. They are perfect. They have nothing to worry about. And this is what I don't like about elegance. Well, let me call it elegance extremism. When I entered this niche, I understood that it is a bit of a complicated niche because there are people who really like to take elegance to the extreme. And I really don't like to take elegance to the extreme because, ladies, if I took elegance to the extreme, I would be sitting like this and talking to you and you know, presenting myself as a perfect lady.

And I will speak perfectly. I would have perfect hair. My outfit would be perfect. There would be no imperfections in me and I would do my best to portray a perfect image. However, reality is not like that. And I decided early on that that's not where I want to go. I want to teach elegance to people, but I don't want to support extremism because extremism is not good in any kind of niche or topic. But let's get back to why people take elegance to the extreme. And because of this insecurity of needing to feel safe, everything I do is perfect.

I am perfect. People can't reject me because I'm perfect. I am above everyone else. No one can hurt me and so on. Many times, people who take a bit of a wrong approach to elegance sometimes like to become someone they are not. Which means they see this as a really perfect person or character and say to themselves: I want to be like this. I want to be as perfect as her, because then I will feel X, Y, Z. Maybe the same things I just told you, maybe they would feel untouchable. Maybe they would feel rejection-proof. Maybe they would feel a lot better about themselves because I'm finally perfect.

Imagine if we lived in a world where we are all identical to each other. I mean, imagine if everyone was just this perfect little clone of elegance, which in a way, like me, is a big proponent of elegance. But wouldn't it be quite boring to be in a society where everyone is equal and has to be very rigid and like they are pigeonholed? I do not want that. And that's not what I promote. So when I decided to enter this niche, I knew I wanted to offer something more, more than rigid stereotypes or an obsession with etiquette, or a single format that should now apply to everyone.

And that's not what I am. That's not what I believe in. And I really realized that there must be some different way to do elegance than just pulling out this stereotype that it's number one, outdated. Number two, is this really what is going to make us happy and fulfilled and make us feel good about ourselves? What exactly do people need today? And I definitely think that elegance makes a person feel better about themselves, about their life. And when you elevate your life to a more elegant level, you feel like you are living a higher quality life.

And that's because elegance has many advantages. When you take away the good from that, there are so many tools you can use because what I see in elegance is a tool. Because I don't see elegance as some kind of sect. I see it as a lifestyle, a mindset, a tool, a form of empowerment, right? But I think calling it a tool is actually a good way because if we just like to scratch what's underneath the elegance, in the end it's personal development, which I'm passionate about. But elegance is not pretty when it becomes a cult, when it becomes an obsession with perfectionism.

And that's what I don't believe in women. And that's why today I really wanted to talk to you about how we need to stop being such perfectionists. It's not about being a perfect girl, although elegance sounds like we're supposed to be, right? I don't know. I just believe that we can take the best of certain things and then do whatever we want with them, and then apply them to our lives in whatever way we feel best suits our lives and ourselves. That is why it is so important for me to make you aware that perfectionism is paralyzing and holds us back.

The question is for you ladies, do you feel like a perfectionist? And if so, if you're being really honest with yourself, ask yourself, why do you feel that way? What is it about being perfect that makes you feel the way it makes you feel? What is it about being a perfect lady that is so attractive? But what if you are an elegant lady, but you are also human and you also have your imperfections, and you also have your uniqueness and your way of being? Because that's something I really believe in: being unique, having a character, having a personality, being who you are, is very important.

I mean, that's the kind of secret sauce to the recipe, it really maintains its uniqueness. I mean, if you remember the style personality video I did recently, that video describes you as an example, that there is not just one stylish fashion style. You can dress up, but in different ways, even very dramatically and creatively, and you can still be elegant. So I just wanted to tell you this message, my dear stylish ladies, I hope you are enjoying your summer. And I also hope that you allow yourself to be a little imperfect from time to time, or at least not beat yourself up for it.

It's okay to make mistakes. We are humans. Nobody is born elegant. Nobody is born perfect. And in reality, no one is supposed to be perfect. So try to be your best ladies, because that's what we want to do with this elegant transformation. It is not about becoming someone we are not, but about becoming the best and perhaps most elegant version of ourselves. Because that is the version that will serve us best and that will also make us happier, perhaps. Now ladies, if you haven't seen a video on style personalities, hop on that video, because you will discover and understand exactly what I mean when it comes to having your unique yet stylish fashion style.