Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh

With his method of introspection, we found the answer. We analyzed literally hundreds of documents and found a very clear pattern. While the word “why” appeared less than 150 times, the word “what” appeared more than 1,000 times. Let me give you some examples: Nathan, a brand manager, received a bad rating from his boss. But instead of asking, "Why can't we get along?" He asked him

self

, "What can I do to show him that I'm the best person for the job?" This is what changed everything. Today, people point to Nathan and his boss as proof that completely opposite personalities can work together.

Sarah, a pioneer in education, was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 40 years old. When she asked, "Why me?" She said he made her feel like a death sentence. So her next question was, “What matters most to me?” This helped her decide what she wanted her life to be like during the time she had left. Sarah is completely cured of her illness and is more focused on her relationships, which mean more to her than anything else. José, a veteran of the entertainment industry, hated her job. Instead of getting caught up in it (which most of us would do) and asking ourselves, "Why do I feel so bad?" His question was: "What situations make me feel bad?" "What do they have in common?" He soon realized that he would never be happy in this job, which gave him the courage to pursue a new, more fulfilling career path as a wealth manager.

These are just three examples among dozens of unicorns whose question was "What?" Instead of "Why?" Is there anyone in the audience who looks like Nathan, Sarah or José? I'll add one to you: Tasha. Some time ago this year I published a book about all of this, which makes me very proud, but one day, for some unknown reason, I did what no writer is supposed to do. I read the reviews on Amazon. (Laughs) That was devastating. I asked my

self

, "Why are people so mean to me for a book I spent thousands of hours researching and writing to improve their lives?" It is not like this?

I fell into a spiral of self-loathing. Honestly, it was one of the worst periods of my life. Two weeks passed and I suddenly realized that maybe I should seek counseling on my own. (laughs) So I tried a different question. Which is: "What about all those people who tell me that my book helped them change their lives?" The result was completely different. So no, even I wasn't doing it right. Our world is not an easy world, right? Absolutely. (Laughs) She knows it, we all know it. But I've seen a lot of evidence that self-

awareness

gives us a greater chance of finding happiness and success in this crazy world.

To start, we just have to change one

simple

word: change the “why?” to what?." The question "why" keeps us stuck looking back. As for the question "what?" It makes us move towards our future. As human beings we have the gift of being able to understand ourselves, and knowing what we want to offer and the kind of life we ​​want to live. Remember, our research unicorns had nothing in common other than a belief in the importance of self-

awareness

and a daily commitment to developing it. This means that we can all be like them. The search for self-awareness never stops.

And life goes on. It is up to us to choose to learn and grow from our mistakes, tragedies, and even our successes. One of the best quotes I have heard on this topic is from Rumi: “Yesterday. "I was smart, that's why I wanted to change the world. Today I'm wise, that's why I'm changing myself."