EVERY PROM EVER

Hi Shelby, I was wondering: NO, I'm not going to

prom

with you, Barry! Hi Shelby, were you in history on Monday? No, Jared, I'm not going to the dance with you. That? I just needed homework. Take a hint. Help, I broke my leg... Eww, Nathan, I'm not going to the dance with you. Rough. That? No! I need an ambulance!! Jesus, ask Sarah Beckett or what

ever

. I think I cut an artery. I'm bleeding it. What do I wear? Pink?? No. Oh, what if I do it strapless? No! Screwing! I'll wear jeans and make a statement! No, that's stupid!!

AH! EVERYONE HATES YOU!! I WANT TO DIE!! Should I make the black tuxedo? Yes, it's a black tuxedo. Are you ready ma'am? Oh, Liam! Am! Let's go. Hey, I'm here to pick you up. I mean, my mom is. You know, she had a bouquet but my St. Bernard ate it. Do you have any pets? I hope not, because if you have a cat, I am deathly allergic. This time I... Come on, baby! Oh yeah, we have to go. I hope they don't have a lot of strobe lights because if they do have strobe lights I'm at risk of having a seizure.

I've already left the money for the photographer. (inaudible) Oh my God! Honey, you look amazing! I would have worn something like that if I had gone to

prom

. Do you mind if I try it on? Jake, don't you think I should try that dress on? I mean... Yeah, don't be stupid. I'm going to try on that dress. How I look? Oh great. Well then... Jake. Come on. Wait, where are you going? Hmm, the prom. But that's my quote! MOTHER! Stop choking me! Jake, come on! U-uh, bye? Are you OK? It's so awkward with that companion looking at us.

Don't listen to me! I'm just here to keep an eye on things! 12 inches apart. That dance is too sexual. You will remember this night for

ever

. This is so strange. Don't look at each other!! You smell like marijuana. What is the deal?? Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Oh, Liam! ...And basically, while you're moving around the map applying pressure and managing your own resources, your opponent has to go and try to stop you and... Did you want to go dancing? No, I usually stick to the snacks at parties. And basically it's really really fun, kind of like this prom, and you're trying to get to their nexus (?) and they don't know what to do because you're so good!

Hello, Jake. I heard you brought your mom to the dance. Hoo, that's a good one, Trent. But I think you misunderstood. Look, I brought your mom to prom. Hello darling! Isn't it fun? MOTHER?! I'll see you on the dance floor, baby. Come on, Jake. If you are ready to have a good time say YES!! You suck! Are you ready? One two! I have a feeling! *strange chant* You stink! And tonight's prom king is...Trent Wilcox! And his prom queen is...TRENT'S MOM!! THAT? NO! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! All my dreams are coming true! Tonight was incredible. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.

Are those fireworks? Maybe. Or is it just the love in my heart exploding. *sneezes* I'm so sorry! Oh no, I have a boner!! Oh Lord!! What the hell is happening here?! Nothing sir, we promise! Do you have an erection? Do you have an erection? OH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Rebecca, back off, I'm going to kill this man! *anguished screams*