A Great Reason to Not Be Religious Anymore - Anthony Jeselnik

We just found out that my little brother has a peanut allergy, a peanut allergy that is very serious, I know, but I still feel like my parents are totally exaggerating. They caught me eating a tiny bag of peanuts off a plane and kicked me out of their house. funeral I feel like some of you might be too kind to laugh at some of these jokes and that's okay, not everyone has a

great

sense of humor. You guys will probably love my little nephew he's like six years old he's so cute I talk to him every day on the phone he's amazing he has the

great

est imagination ever one day he'll be an amazing artist or he was really sexually abused I wasn't even laughing at I was thinking about what's coming I feel like I need to say like I really think that being a mother seems like one of the hardest jobs in the world, literally below the comedian, so to me, if a mother does the best she can, in my book it's a good mother right now, my mom did the best she could, unfortunately she.

She was also a terrible person like my mother for most of her life. This is true. My mother for most of her life was a Holocaust denier. Does everyone know what that means? I mean, she couldn't believe the Holocaust happened. It's the worst thing you can do. be and it was terrible for the whole family to have to deal with it until finally, a couple of years ago, we had an intervention and a rabbi came into the house, asked her to explain the history of the Jewish people and then forced her to watch . Schindler's List and after that my mom did a complete 180 now she can't believe it only happened once I'm not a

religious

person.

She would call me an atheist. You know, there's a good story behind it.

reason

able my girlfriend my girlfriend is the best story behind why she is no longer

religious

, so when she was a 12 year old girl, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed, about two weeks later, In the middle of the night when the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two-inch gash on the back of his father's head, whether you laughed or not, you have to admit it's quite a tentpole.