كيف تنجح العلاقات مع ياسر الحزيمي | بودكاست فنجان

All relationships are driven by need; it is a ruler. Even our relationship with Allah. Except for his relationship with us, Allah is independent SWT. I asked a 114-year-old man from Az Zulfi called Addihesh. He probably died six years ago. He was interested in relationships. I asked him this important question because I thought he had generations of knowledge on the matter. I said, “Dude, who is the person who identifies as a good person?” Although it is common to expect past generations to be the good ones, he said, "son, everyone is a good person today." I was shocked and asked why?

Translated by Latifa Alharbi Hello! This is Fnjan from thmanyah and I am Abdulrahman Abumalih. The Ministry of Health stated that one of the main causes of depression is prolonged loneliness. Additionally, healthy relationships will help us overcome depression. Mental health is very important to me and surely to many people. I wanted to discuss relationships in depth because it is an important aspect of mental health. From the uniqueness that human beings have with Allah and his need for a spiritual bond, to the meaning of the relationship one has with oneself. It is the relationship on which every other relationship depends.

We learn to differentiate between loving ourselves, being confident, and being selfish and arrogant. How will I heal my relationship with myself and make it healthier? And after at least controlling the relationship with ourselves, how do we manage our relationships with other people? in a world where individualism and relativism are the way of life. It was said that this freedom from individualism takes away the feeling of security. So how can you navigate relationships under these conditions? These relationships vary in type and degree and affect people. So, I present to you this episode with Yasser Al-Huzaimi, a certified relationship coach.

He has extensive experience teaching courses on improving relationships and communication skills. He explained relationships, starting with the relationship with oneself and then between both genders, whether in the workplace or as a couple. It is a very important episode for everyone. Who doesn't want to manage their relationships better? But before we start, thmanyah presents an incredible documentary series about genes and their effects on you, the character of your children, your possible diseases and your future. They all depend on your genes. The series is live on the Aflam thmanyah channel on YouTube and its link is in the description of this episode.

Now let's get started. -How was your experience with podcasts? -Overall, excellent. but as a host, it requires a lot of mental effort. -Actually? -Yeah. When you have guests, they usually share general information. Therefore, you must listen carefully and play the role of audience. Especially when you already know what they're talking about. Therefore, you must act ignorant to extract detailed information that benefits the audience. -But why seem ignorant? -Because it is possible that sometimes you know the idea more than your guests. Therefore, there will be information gaps, which are as easy as ABC for you and your guest, but new for the audience.

It's difficult to see it from the public's point of view. Although I haven't seen your last episode, the heart to heart chat in the comments. -I didn't want to hear it -It's a good thing you didn't! I didn't want to watch it before our interview because it might affect our discussion, but I'll watch it afterward. I just wanted the podcast to become a more comfortable experience, to move it away from the television model. So, it could be anything. It's okay to be serious and it's okay not to be. I think you're a role model for being casual about it.

You changed the presentation of podcasts and established a benchmark. In podcast discussions, which are on the rise and hopefully a positive trend, your name always comes first. -Alhamdulillah. -By the way, the product came to you, not any other way. No one refers to his production as thmanyah or Finjan, but rather they say Abdulrahman Abumalih. -That's good. -Yes, it is a good thing, mashallah! Thank Allah! So why did you change your path from being in education to becoming a relationship coach? Two things made me choose relationships. First, I wrote a book about self and personality. Its title is The Strong Personality.

It's about developing a good personality that allows you to interact with people. Why did you choose the word "strong" as a synonym for "good"? Having relationships requires having a sword, a scabbard and a shield. Then there will be stings, threats and fear. As a wise person, you must know when to use your sword against those who deserve it for good reasons and when to put it away. For example, when it comes to parents, elders and loved ones. No sword at all! There are people you should deal with by using your sword to draw a line they won't cross.

The problem is that having a sword without a scabbard is violence, while having a sword without a scabbard is excessive kindness, which leads to weakness. Most people's suffering is caused by other people. -What do you mean? -When you search on social networks and the internet you find that generally the case is that one human being complains about another. If it's his job, it's someone else's. If it were a car problem it would be easier, but most problems are caused by people to other people. That's why I thought I should heal myself first. The book I wrote was for me at first, but then it was published.

Besides that, I thought that the self is a product of the social market. So how can you market it? Some people have good products but poor marketing. Others may have bad products but excellent marketing skills. That's why we let ourselves be fooled by first impressions. First impressions in job interviews, relationships, events and meetings. I like this person and that person; This makes me uncomfortable while that seems strange, this and that. So, it's about the way you present yourself to others. He who thinks that he has a poor product, he will not market it well. Even if he did, he doesn't believe in it and won't convince you to buy it.

You may not have confidence; Don't accept yourself, your acne, your baldness, your height, your tribe, your color, etc. What makes you destructible before any look of contempt. That's why some people avoid social situations that make them feel unwelcome. So my idea is to strengthen this personality; This is how you heal and then heal your relationships. So, you thought your personality was absent and you couldn't market it! -Where did this idea come from? -At first? It's not our topic, okay! -But I would really like to know. -I meant that I wanted to talk more about relationships. -We will do it! -Because talking about the self is another very broad topic. -Part of relationships is the one we have with ourselves. -Yes, one of the pillars.

Is it the most important? What are the types of relationships? If you can, before talking about types, let's talk about the pillars because I mentioned them. Can! The pillars are four: First, the relationship with Allah SWT. Allah SWT says: "As for those who believe and do good, the most compassionate will bless them with love." Some people do not benefit you, but you love them, you feel comfortable with them and you trust them even without previous encounters. That is granted by Allah SWT. The relationship with Allah, the creator, affects the relationships with his creations. This is an essential pillar and we have many religious scriptures about it.

A good attitude towards our relationship with Allah is based on three things; believing what he has told us, accepting our destiny and following his orders. The one who does this is the one who has good manners towards Allah SWT. The next pillar is the relationship with oneself. It includes an attitude like appreciating myself, if you can! Before getting into it, I want to know more about the importance of our relationship with Allah. -Okay! -I mean, how will it be reflected in the spiritual well-being of the human being? Let's reverse that; What would happen if God did not exist?

Address this modern issue. If the god, the watcher, was absent, then the witness is absent, as is beneficence. Worship Allah as if you see him and even if you don't see him, you know that he sees you. Therefore, my way of treating you will be different in the presence of those who watch. When Allah AWJ created us, he made us witnesses: Am I not your god? We all said yes, you are our god. Then he offered us trust, which makes us trust. Imagine if someone trusted you with their body, their life, their time and their money;

It's all his confidence. And he watches over you. How will you deal with this trust? According to the will of the owner of this trust. So, being aware of this watchful presence will make us more forgiving. Aisha R.A was angry with her maid, but she did not hurt her back and said: “Pity is a good moral; "It leaves us no chance to take revenge." On the day of judgment I will receive justice. There will be punishment and reward. The relationship with oneself and with others in case of injustice. You were unfair to me, so how will I get revenge?

Later, that day. So, I show patience, endure, suppress my anger, forgive and leave it here. But if someone treats life as a unique opportunity, how will he react? People would feel intense envy if they thought that life was an opportunity, not a reciprocity, but a rush. I grab as many pieces of this cake as possible and move on to another. But it is different when you have Jannah in perception. Some always keep it in their mind and say, "I will have this on Jannah inshallah." Whenever Prophet Muhammad PBUH liked something in Dunya, he would say: “O Allah!

There is no life worth living except the life in the Hereafter.” This life is just crumbs. This mindset helps humans feel content. In the Quran, “and the Hour will surely come.” So what do we do? Pray? Fast? Worship? No! “Then forgive kindly.” AHA! then we forgive. each other The saying is “forgive when you can,” but some forgive when they are in the grave. When remembering death and mourning the loss of someone you held a grudge against. Death awakens. Remembering death makes life less worth having resentments. In modern life, the difference between non-Muslims and those who absorbed the Western lifestyle is enormous.

The lives of Westerners are like their tombs, beautiful on the outside but empty and lonely on the inside. Beautiful materialistic world and pleasures, but behind all that lies depression. While the life of a believer is totally different. And if things get tough, the believer will find relief on his prayer mat. The believer finds comfort in remembering that there will be a final day, reward, destiny, foundation, and blessings. These concepts embrace and calm the believer. Furthermore, being aware of Allah's presence makes dealing with others a way of seeking their pleasure. This relationship will be evaluated by Allah.

So when I remove a twig from the path of the Muslims, he will reward me by entering into Jannah. The Jannah for which heads were lost and feet bled is as easy as removing a twig. Because humans are so valuable to Allah that He created the heavens and the earth just for them! The "la ilaha illallah" in the heart of this human being is as heavy as the heavens and the earth, and his blood is more sacred than Alkaaba. Then you are a precious human being. When you do a simple act of kindness in your measures, Allah weighs it with his own measures.

When you keep this in perspective, you know that your trade is with Allah while you deal with others. So, I please you to please the Knower of the Unseen. In the Western model, the customer is always right. It's not really about that. They transformed transactional relationships into profit-seeking tactics; They reach hearts to reach pockets. Behind “the customer is always right” is the intention to take. I am not generalizing, but comparing between models. Being aware of the presence of Allah when dealing with others changes many things. If I may, I want us to apply this to our reality.

Today, the influence of the West is present, as you have mentioned repeatedly. It's a thing now; we live it. What you have said is religious, but what about the spiritual aspect, regardless of religion? What is the meaning of a spiritual bond? The opposite is increasing in Western societies. For example, in Britain, irreligious people make up the majority of British society. I need to double check this information, but you get the point. Atheism is on the rise along with other trendy spiritual pursuits such as meditation and yoga. Why do humans seek this bond even if they do not believe in God?

Why do humans crave this type of relationship? The search for a god, for an absolute, is an instinct. Breaks apart under pressure. Even when the disbelievers “get on a ship, they supplicate to Allah, sincere to him in religion.” Some irreligious or atheists look to the sky when life gets difficult because they seek an absolute entity beyond humanity. -Why do we have this pressing need? -It is an instinct in human beings. The nature of human beings is to believe in a god and need a god. What God? This is where people differ. That is why messengers were sent to introduce us to this god and identify him.

God is not just aexternal and worshiped entity, but is also found within. Worship one's own desires. The modern human being made a god of desire and pleasure. What is a god? It is his legislator who tells him what is right and what is wrong. Therefore, religion gives you what is licit and what is illicit. While norms tell you what is acceptable and what is not. Furthermore, the sense of beauty defines what is beautiful and what is ugly. All of that is no longer applicable. So when I get dressed, do I ask myself if my clothes are bought with licit or illicit money or if they are modest or not?

No, because it is religious. I don't care about people's opinions about whether my clothes are acceptable. Is it beautiful or ugly? It doesn't matter anymore. Is it efficient and protects me from the cold? No. The main concern is no longer that, but whether it is new. So fashion and trends became the god of this time, the legislator. He imagines terrible clothes, in every sense, and the long lines waiting to buy it. People will defend the beauty they imagined after fighting for it and buying it. The clothes or bags you saved money for will lose their social value in a year because they will no longer be in fashion.

So do humans constantly need a god? Yes they are. This was the first pillar, the relationship with Allah. -The second is! -The relationship with oneself, as we mentioned: appreciation and acceptance. -Are you ordering the pillars according to their importance? -No, it depends on your context. In some situations, the order changes. Your relationship with others becomes a priority over your relationship with yourself. -When? -In cases of altruism. You prioritize the other. You couldn't be altruistic if your relationship with yourself was too strong. This preference depends on human situations. If you had an important appointment, but someone needed you and you preferred to offer help, that is altruism.

The philosophy is that this preference makes me appreciate myself more, which results in seeking the pleasure of Allah. All types are intertwined and separating them is not natural for humans. So now we are talking about the self. What is this self? Your relationships are parts of yourself. Your culture, your reading, your clothes, your appearance, your hairstyle, your first name, your last name, your way of walking and your possessions are parts of yourself. The wise man is the one who knows how to differentiate between appearance and substance. Another part of the self is his interests. Therefore, we have many relationships based on shared interests.

We could both be rooting for the same team, playing the same games, or reading the same books, and our relationship is based on common interests. The most essential tool for building a relationship is the skills you have. Because? Because relationships are based on cooperation and mutualism, in Quranic terms: subjugation. I benefit from you and you benefit from me. So the more skills you have, the more they will need you. Also, the more independent you are. English! I speak. Technology or climate! I have my way with that. History and culture! I am literate. I do not need anyone.

But the less qualified you are, the more you need people and the more dependent you become. You will be constantly asking for something that every time I see your call I would say, oh! Here he is again, always taking but never giving. Therefore, your skill level, knowledge, and abilities affect your relationships. According to Ali R.A, people are of three types: the one who helps you is your master, the one you help is your prisoner and the one who does not need you is your equal. Being the teacher all the time will hurt you because you will become consumed and disappointed.

Being a prisoner all the time will make you unwanted. Being the last, the equal, is neither realistic nor human. You're human, so you'll need it. There is a story of a man who prayed: "O Allah, do not make me need any of your subjects." Then Imam Ahmed said: "This person asked for his perdition" because only being dead means not needing anyone. So as long as you live, you will need and be needed. This is the relationship with oneself. -What is a healthy relationship with yourself? -Not to show the world someone far from who you really are.

According to William James, whenever two people meet, there are actually six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other sees him and each man as he really is. The greater the gap between who you are and who you present, the more depression, shame, and sense of unworthiness you will feel. This will affect your relationships and will be exposed during conflicts of beliefs you have with the other. For example, they welcomed me to this blessed podcast and I told them that my purpose is to improve society. This is what I showed you, okay!

But deep down I'm looking for profits. In this case... -Is that why you asked for money? -No, wallah (I swear) I didn't. In this case, I will be exposed, -And if that happened, who would see my true face? -I guess. -What will happen then? -I would change the way I see you. No! I will be exposed to my own self. According to Sartre, when you are alone, you lose your sense of yourself, your values, beliefs, and atrocities, but when you interact with someone, you feel shame caused by a watchful presence. What would that be like in case this watchman was Allah SWT?

When you committed this wrong, you did not realize the magnitude of it because you were at peace with your conflicting values, but when your actions expose you, you will understand that you are wrong. Who showed me that? The person I am interacting with. Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: "The believer is the mirror of his brother." So, the wise man does not break the mirror when he reflects a defective face because that is the function of the mirror. And please, notice that you go to the mirror to see, not for anything else. To fix yourself and ask for advice.

This was the second relationship, the one you have with yourself. Now let's talk about the relationship with others. -If I may, I want to ask about each relationship. -Yes you can. You mentioned that the gap between appearance and reality causes depression. Is that the case whether you see me as less or more than I am? Yeah! What perception is negative and positive? The positive is seeing yourself as less than you are. It is being humble, a way to purify yourself. Umar R.A. He gathered the Companions and reminded them that he was a pastor. They asked him: "For this you brought us together?" He said: "I told myself that I am Umar, the Commander of the Believers, so I wanted to remind you that I used to be called Umair." This is how to discipline and purify yourself. -What is the negative case? -When this discipline turns into contempt.

Prophet PBUH said: "The believer should not humble himself." They asked: “How could he humble himself?” He said, “Taking on a test he cannot face.” For example, believing that I can produce a podcast and I can't. Trying and then failing won't make me feel satisfied with myself. He would look down on me because I did something beyond my capabilities. Therefore, self-hatred is not a religious, humane, or healthy way to treat oneself. On the other hand, thinking too much of myself as more than I really am will lead to disappointment. It would make me lose my sense of limits and I would accuse anyone who wants my well-being of envy and jealousy.

If I said I had a skill I didn't possess, I would end up desperate. According to the Diener effect, which measures performance, when a person begins a task with high, unfounded confidence but fails, he will be at the lowest confidence level. The question is, why feel safe? For example, when elementary school students are asked, who would want to participate in the broadcast? Everyone raises their hands excitedly. That's because they have no idea what it is. When your child tries to help you carry heavy things thinking that he can, but he can't and he doesn't know it.

Or try to swim without even knowing how to swim. -Why do they feel they can? -Ignorance? Out of ignorance. Sometimes confidence is driven by ignorance. But when they try, they discover their limits. After failing, people will be divided into two types, some will stay down and some will rise and learn to strengthen their relationships with themselves to gain true confidence. There is an Arabic saying that says: "Two will try to speak in public, the one who is excellent and aware of his abilities and the fool who has no idea what he is doing." That is why it is necessary to learn our limitations and limits, even with other people.

Relationships are a constant state of approaching and distancing, of knowing what to do and when to do it. How to take space to the point of missing each other, not abandoning each other. How to get just to the point of hugging, not clinging. Because sometimes being too close causes rejection. We'll talk about that later. Yes, we will do it. I just wanted to talk a little more about your relationship with yourself. What you said seems logical. I remember reading somewhere that intelligent people doubt more than ignorant people. While the latter have a greater chance of success just because of their impulses.

Sometimes, you need this ignorance to take an impulsive step before it scares you. Perhaps it is so simple that doubting is meaningless. So how to manage that? Excellent! If you know more, you doubt more. Because everything is measured taking into account the big picture. For example, someone would ask you, Abu Omar, how do you make podcasts? What will you start to explain? Unlike a person who had a previous impulsive podcast experience. Ignorance helped this person try. But did this ignorance provide any knowledge? That is the distinguishing factor. It provided no insight, just a warped attempt. On the other hand, an intelligent person can live an authentic experience, but only when he does not exaggerate his doubts.

It was said that being afraid before trying is a weakness. Why are you afraid? You didn't even try. why do not you try it? Because you would say I'm a fool. This is the nature of all beginnings. It is the most difficult and the most uncomfortable part. You must accept that at first things are not going well for you because then you will improve. Each of us has a first day. The first day of driving is remembered as a joke, but at the time it was a matter of life and death. It's easier now. It became a story in their success story.

A first day of podcasting, a first day of teaching, a first day of work, and a first day of commitment. They were overwhelming days and full of doubts, which is normal. How to differentiate between self-love and pride? There is a difference between loving yourself and not, but arrogance is compared to... -Confidence! -Yeah. Confidence is believing in ability and at the same time having it. Simply! Believe that you can and that you really can. I believe I have the ability at the present moment based on my past experiences and my optimism. I want to produce a podcast, so I'm drawing on my previous recording experience.

Then I begin, by the will of Allah, to feel that I can do it. If a person lacks experience, his optimism will push him to be confident. So, it is the existing feeling of power. -Is having confidence always a good thing? -Yeah. Arrogance is believing in a non-existent ability. An arrogant man might claim that he can defeat his enemies but end up defeated. He is full of himself. -Maybe his optimism motivated him! -But there is no skill. You don't have the experience or prediction of his success, so you are wrong. Now that we're talking about two types, we have a couple left.

Not believing in the ability while you have it. This is the self-hatred we talk about. He would refuse to try even if it was proven that he had the talent and preferred backstage. -How to fix that? -We are left with the fourth type. Not believing in ability and not having it. This is Consciousness. -Excellent. -To know what I am good at and what I am not good at. According to Ibn Khaldun, knowing that one does not know is knowledge in itself. How to cure self-loathing? It is treated through two approaches: praising and developing. Congratulating is remembering my experiences and trusting in my past successes.

Typically, evaluating oneself is a selective process. It's like holding a torch and looking into a dark room that contains disordered and ordered parts. The self-aware person sees everything and makes a wise judgment. While he who sheds light only on the disordered side will make a bad judgment. Another would choose to only see the tidy side and think everything is beautiful, which is also wrong. When I self-loath, I have to look at past accolades, achievements, to calm myself. Then start developing and improving myself, but how? This word is overused and sounds complicated, but it is very simple.

Start small! We like big achievements, but smaller steps will fuel perseverance and provide us with evidence that we are much more than what people think of us. When others try to put you down, you will be invincible. The difference between young people and adults is that children act blindly and depend on our description. We tell them whether they are good or not through our behavior or our verbal reinforcement. However, adults are still affected by this. Allah says to Prophet Muhammad PBUH: "We certainly know that your heart is truly distressed by what they say." So, no doubt, they are still affected, but the story of their achievements can help them control themselves.

We cannot close their mouths, but we can close our ears and be less affected by their comments. It is impossible to avoid being told something hurtful. There are people who speak irreverently of Allah, their creator, giver and protector. They said, "Allah is stingy" and "Allah is poor." They also did the same thing to the prophet PBUH. So what's up with you and me? When theProphet Musa asked Allah to cover the mouths of people so that they would not speak ill of him, Allah replied: “Musa, that is something I did not decree upon myself.” They can and will talk, so be prepared for such things.

Why would a person love or hate themselves? Why do you find one person who always loves himself and another who always hates him? Anyone who longs to love and has grown up in an unsatisfactory home, with unloving caregivers, is thirsty and willing to drink any drop of love regardless of its impurity. When a person is starving, he eats the crumbs of people's praise and puts on a fool's mask to gain acceptance from him. The question is, what made him so? It's a long story and I wanted to talk more about relationships. -We'll get there, we have all night. -Until sunrise? -Until sunrise. -Inshallah!

When we were little, we felt special and our families loved us, so we developed a sense of worth and felt beautiful and accepted. They drink and eat after me. They hug and kiss me, so I must be a good person. I learn that I am a welcome human being through his behavior and reinforcements as a caregiver. I know my worth through your longing for me when I'm not around. That's why some children hide to see if anyone is looking for them. By the way, this behavior is also seen in adults, but through different strategies. Did someone miss me or not?

This little human was born, welcomed, loved and treated with treats and praise. So the human baby feels safe when seeing someone and anxious if he is absent. Later they discover that this someone is called mother. When they cry, this familiar face appears and this person hugs them. When you feel pain, this hunger pain disappears when this person holds you. Thus, this baby associates survival with the presence of others. It is a significant moment in the life of a human being. Start before that. When the umbilical cord was cut, you became responsible for yourself. No one will give it to you unless you ask for it.

This baby notices that when he cries, is hungry or feels pain, someone holds him and helps him. So, she develops this association. After a while this someone with a mustache appears. He finds out that this person's name is father. At first he is an annoying person. He picks it up a lot, touches it and plays with it. Later, she realizes that this person isn't so bad after all. She takes him to new places, breaks the rules and lets him eat candy. She grows up and discovers that there are people called brothers. This is another significant moment.

This social relationship with siblings is transactional. Get this and we'll let you play with us! Do it and we will give you what you want. This significant moment is when she realizes that saying no makes her reject herself. She understands that pleasing others protects him from rejection, so he obeys his brothers. Once I did not obey them, they ate without sharing and made fun of me. I don't want to feel like this again, so I must always obey them. It then becomes applicable to later stages of life, such as going to school or having guests. When we had guests, the house changed.

This is another significant moment. There was cleanliness and order, what happened? Why have we improved now? Because there was the other one. Who without him, we were less people. So, we need to improve ourselves for this other one. Take a shower, put this on, don't talk, clean yourself, comb your hair and sit up straight! What's all that for, Dad? For the other. So, pleasing this other person is the same as pleasing my parents. And pleasing my parents equals my survival. This other begins to magnify until it becomes a source of security. The problem with the other one who ensures my safety, Abu Omar, is that he can get angry with me.

It's like pressing the brake and gas pedals at the same time and getting burned because the source of safety is now a source of pain and fear. Pleasing them gets confusing. Then he begins to generalize this and applies it to all other relationships. Then I begin to identify myself in comparison and in agreement with others. Every time you magnify others, you become smaller and smaller. There is no big or small unless you compare. For example, this cup is small compared to the size of the study but large compared to the size of a bean. It keeps changing size depending on what I compare it to.

So when I magnify people, I become small. I lose my courage in his presence. On the contrary, reducing others and magnifying myself is, according to Prophet Muhammad PBUH, called pride. “Pride is equivalent to denying the truth out of self-esteem and despising people.” I solve it by treating people as they are, humans, who cannot protect or benefit themselves, and will not be able to do so for me. A poet once told the Prophet Muhammad that his poems could insult him or praise him, but peace and blessings of Allah be upon him he said: “Only Allah can do this.” So when you're being harassed, think of it as a scene from a hidden camera show.

Remember how people looked angry on these shows and then laughed? Because the scene was not reality. This life is a hidden camera show. People's feelings can't affect me. We are all here to fulfill what Allah wanted for us. None of us has any capacity to humiliate or glorify anyone. Through this mentality, no one will affect me because I see them as they really are. When Al Awzai was summoned by the ruler, he said that he was carrying his shroud preparing for his death. At his entrance, the people took cover against the anticipated bloodshed, but he was safe and welcome.

When they asked him what he did to avoid death, he said that he was terrified because he knew that the ruler was angry with him. "But when I saw the ruler on his throne, I thought of Allah on his throne, so he was reduced to the size of a fly." The ruler cannot even help it; everything is in the hands of Allah. When you idolize people, you give them God's power over you. When you think that your boss has power over you or that your job interview puts your future at stake, you idolize him. They are only here to fulfill what Allah wanted for you.

This is why people put themselves down when they expect validation from others. The value of the modern human being comes from external validation and recognition. They became balloons that need others to inflate them with external validation. The problem is that these balloons float towards a needle factory. You will not be immune to people's criticism. The one who inflated you is the one who can burst you with a word. Therefore, you should value yourself, seek Allah's pleasure, raise your morals, and leave people in the hands of their creator. How do you know you have a good relationship with yourself?

One of the great signs is knowing your rights and your limits. Umar R.A., who scared the devil, was coming, so the children ran away upon seeing him, except Ibn Zubair. Umar asked him why he did not flee with his friends and he replied: “If the road were narrow, I would turn away to give you room to pass. And I have done nothing wrong to fear you.” Knowing your rights and your limits is a great sign that you love yourself. As well as normalize errors. It's okay to make mistakes because I'm an imperfect human being. The perfection of the human being is to recognize his imperfect nature.

If they do not admit his defective nature, they only demonstrate it, because Allah is the only perfect one. Seeking perfection is imperfect in itself. There is a difference between accepting imperfection and settling for it. Owning my imperfect nature should empower me to do better and be better. Seeking perfection is today's obsession due to intense scrutiny and intimidation. There is an easy way to victimize people through a medium without taking responsibility. I can dislike your content and insult you without a moral charge. I just made fun of you and bullied you, and it ends here for me. -I can't even know how it made you feel! -The story has just ended for me but it began for you.

Your pain and suffering are irrelevant because there is a way that keeps me from the consequences. In addition to knowing our rights and limits, we have a moderate sense of self-esteem. I know I have the right to learn, make mistakes, ask questions and speak my mind, but that is limited by time and attitude. The other sign is not to be ashamed of anything normal. Like your appearance, your hair, your acne, your baldness, your tribe or your car. Some people park their cars out of embarrassment or feel self-conscious because they spilled coffee on their clothes. I love you, not your clothes, so don't worry.

The other sign is to be yourself. It is painful to behave according to others. Wearing a small, painful shoe just for people's admiration. Find your comfort, not theirs. So, self-acceptance is a sign. -Self-acceptance doesn't mean you stop improving yourself. -How is that? An overweight person avoids social gatherings and feels bad in the small airplane seats. Then he isolates himself, becomes more unhealthy, and becomes more frustrated. This is not acceptance; acceptance is joking about it. Responding to people's questions about my weight with “before you ask or after?” I accept and join meetings, but I must always try to be healthier.

When I go to the gym accepting myself, it will fuel me with the right motivation. It doesn't matter if they get fit now or a year later because they enjoy the journey. Otherwise, it would be a daunting search. Loving yourself is accepting yourself and speaking your truth, being a child. A child in the skin of a man who comfortably expresses his needs. He has pure joy, feels proud and confident, and loves life. This is self-acceptance. How to find my mirror? The person you ask for advice should have three traits. Wise, he knows you well and knows the matter you ask.

Just the three. Prophet Muhammad said: “You will find the worst among people, a double-faced person who appears to some people with one face and to others with another face.” I didn't understand it well and it was difficult for me to appear with only one face. I show a face with my friends that I don't show in serious situations. Until I heard his explanation from Ibn Uthaymin. He said that the muslin should appear to people with only one face. If it was a good face, he would cheer up. And if he was bad, he would receive support to become a better person.

To be a better person, you must be honest with yourself in front of the right people. When I want my teeth fixed, I go to the dentist. Although I have a beautiful smile, I tell him that I have hidden cavities because that is his specialty. However, I don't yell at an irrelevant social gathering that I have cavities to be honest and transparent. Some people have hidden sins and confess on social media to be truthful and accept themselves. It is not like this. You must choose who will help and guide you when you want to be truthful and honest.

This is how you ask for advice. When you speak, sometimes your analogies are relevant to modern humans, but you also quote the Quran and Hadith. What is the difference between Western personalities and Islamic personalities? Abu Omar, when you mix lemon juice and Zamzam water, the resulting liquid is neither lemon juice nor Zamzam water. This is the modern Muslim who has Islamic values ​​and Western values ​​mixed together. These Western values ​​exploded at different times and places, but we still inhale their fumes whether we like it or not. We are as exposed to it as everyone else in the world.

Our immune system determines how deeply it affects us. When you go to a nice furniture store and find a nice chair, you imagine it would be perfect for your home. But when it's in your house, it doesn't match well with your furniture. Why is that? Because you didn't buy the chair, but you bought the whole scene. The beautiful setup of the store fooled you. The same goes for Western culture. You can't choose just one value, but the entire package. When a person goes to the beach dressed indecently, people stare at him. Complaining about the looks is Zamzam while appearing like this is the juice.

What a peculiar mix! If you want to dress like this, accept the looks and get the whole package. When you behave decently, people will. It depends on how you look at it. -Let's talk about modern relationships if I have your permission. -OK. On a long journey. First, the effect of atheism on relationships. We mentioned how the absence of the guards. on the Day of Judgment, and morality will not cause us to treat each other properly. After atheism, we talk about scientism. Foucault said that the person who was born in the 18th century did not yet exist because he was born with quantitative research in the humanities.

Then, they were reduced to cells, tissues and numbers. How sad are you, from one to ten? Scientism brought rationalism and philosophical theories. We humans are confused between Hobbes' wolves, Pavlov's dog, Darwin's monkey, Machiavelli's fox, Spinoza's stone, Nietzsche's dead god and John Locke's white paper. It is the human being in the modern definition, who takes shape in our lives. Then materialism gutted humans and reduced them to appearances. Isn't marriage, for example, a bond of souls? Why is the entire dowry spent on bodies, furniture and travel? Use it to take courses on marriage and read more about it.

Ask Allah to guide you and give you success. No! I just want the appearance, not the substance. Appearance became an obsession even inthe relationship with himself. The greatest achievement of some girls is their body. Just like guys who dress indecently to show off their muscles. Some guys go to the gym to develop masculine bodies and smoke a cigarette on the way out because they are not looking to be fit or healthy; They want appearance. After materialism, comes freedom. I'm free to do whatever I want, excused by “still, I didn't hurt anyone.” Islamic philosophy is not about us all being free to do whatever we want, but it is the Western philosophy of freedom and possession.

The extreme way to worship Allah is to be free from anyone other than Allah; You are his servant, which is real freedom. The extreme form of freedom is to be enslaved. If you want to measure freedom of possession, ask them if they are so free that they can sell their bodies. Aren't you free to use your time and your body however you want? If the answer is yes, they are slaves, and if no, they are not free. So, they are not free at all. This freedom of not submitting to a legislator who goes beyond what is licit and illicit; submit to one's own desires.

Why did you buy this or use that? Because I liked it. "I liked it" is the only answer, but the legal and the illegal are out of the picture. After that, relativism. When we are all free, truth becomes relative. Relationship preferences became relative. There was a time when the norm of generosity and hospitality was to feed your guests a sheep. Nowadays, they offer you burgers that you cook yourself and advise you to add cheese and salad. As a guest, it may seem like an insult, but my host sees it as hospitality. is to make guests feel comfortable.

They believe that the priority is their comfort. In other cases, some would give a feast that could be more expensive than a sheep. Is this in my perception or yours? . There is no longer a norm that can predict your limits. Freedom and relativism paved the way for individualism. Each one of us is alone. I am happy because according to relativism, you will not understand me and according to freedom, you cannot control me, whether you are family, law or tradition. So I am free and individualistic. Wearing my headphones in my cocoon and enjoying social media that gives me everything I need.

All this is not so bad, but it does not create a feeling of security. When I drive on a newly paved road without nails, I drive freely in any lane, but any horn sound scares me. If I had a passenger with me, they would tell me to be careful, but since I am an individualist, I have no company. Freedom and security are opposites. The feeling of security comes from the family; they give you freedom safely. That is why in the past families were intentionally expanded. Your father can tell you to greet your uncle, who is not really your uncle, but only to give him certain capabilities with the relationship that this word conveys.

These capabilities imply the privilege of being helped, supported, cared for when we need it, and forgiven when we make mistakes. That is what the word “uncle” implies. If I'm an individualist, I don't want all that. These privileges require that you follow their rules. Do my hair the way they like, wear what they approve of, and behave on social media because I represent them. When I deny it, I lose privileges. Then I will be individualistic. I throw myself a solitary party when I'm happy and I get depressed alone. These two feelings change when sharing; Happiness multiplies and sadness decreases.

Individualism took the family and left us each isolated on our own islands surrounded by the sea of ​​social media. We reach a state called moral myopia. Losing the sense of right and wrong that used to be defined by religion, family, and the norms and traditions of society. The lack of social standards. This myopia is seen in the case of separating the signifier and the signified. For example, a frying pan shaped like a wall clock or a drum that looks like a chair. You cannot distinguish good from evil. It means that the signifier no longer means the signified.

It means that the bearded man is not necessarily a good person. That's true, but it's an exception, not the rule. The rule is that this person is mostly a good person. Or that lady in hijab or abaya is not necessarily a modest woman. "Not necessarily" is the easiest judgment, and the exception became the rule. Bauman described the loss of social standards due to the empty throne. When Nietzsche declared the death of the god, the absence of a legislator, humans were left unaware that they too would die. My right is your mistake and vice versa. The humans also died, so the throne was empty.

Then the trend took the throne, ruled and defined a new good and evil. He led the humans. The ever-changing nature of the trend eased the path towards globalization. Unify the model throughout the world. The product, whether cultural, material or knowledge, is easier to sell to a unified global group than to many different local groups. Because when the local, for example the Saudi, wears the shemagh, I can't sell him my tie. If he reads Arabic, I can't sell him my language. If he is going to eat his local dishes, I can't take him to my restaurants. I couldn't sell you my icons or my media.

So, they are left with three methods, either colonizing and oppressing the other, normalizing them using soft power, or excluding the other and being labeled as backward and marginalized. Getting a degrading surprise when you don't have a Netflix subscription, don't use Snapchat, or have another phone besides the iPhone. Note that the comparison is usually binary. iPhone or Samsung Galaxy? But if you didn't have either, you're weird! It's in everything, like in football, where you have to choose one of the two teams to cheer on, Real Madrid or Barcelona! The land derby. Or this or that, if not, are you living under a rock?

Even global fashion brands are now a scale of taste and wealth. Also, unifying food, language and currency. Local newspapers are replaced by Twitter. Television is replaced by YouTube and Netflix, where I sell my values ​​to you. I will cancel your unique identity and globalize you to form a unified model. You can feel the power of globalization when you are in East Asia, for example, and you walk in terror down an alley until you are embraced by the Western model, a shopping mall, towers and McDonald's, which gives you relief. Although the potential danger from the outside is the same as from the inside. -To better explain globalization, I'll ask you a quick question if you can! -Forward! -I want you to name two animals with the letter Aleph. -Asad (lion) and Arnab (rabbit) We don't have lions or rabbits in our environment, but we only see them on TV.

We have Ibil (camels) and Um Junaib (horned viper), and both names begin with Aleph. So, the human being is his familiarities, not his environment. The media familiarized many notions that are not ours. -Is there no Arabic loin? -It's not that we have seen any; we only read about it. After globalization, utilitarianism was introduced. The first question of moral collapse is: “What do I gain from this?” Someone once wrote, "I just took my second dose," another replied, "Okay, what then?" driven by individualism and utilitarianism. It has nothing to do with me, go tell your mom! Then, contractualism.

I'm not entirely against it. When I say cars made people lazy, I'm not saying don't drive anymore! A factory not only produces good products but also produces industrial waste. I'm just explaining the waste of civilization. It's beautiful, but you have to consider its waste. -Why should we consider it? -To show them that we are inhaling this waste. A friend said that once he was on a train between cities in Europe. Before leaving, he went to have a coffee and then realized that the train he was traveling on was headed to France. He said that if he had not gotten off the train, he would have gone to France, not his destination.

Our lives are this train. We must double check our destiny. Being on a train is a challenge! If you looked at your photos from last winter, you would make fun of your style, but you thought that at that time you were elegant and well dressed. You were on the fashion train, but you were not aware of it. Now think, despite the 21 years we spend from childhood to adulthood, we can't deal with teenagers even though we go through that stage. So experiencing without awareness does not count as an experience. The companions of the Prophet once had a conflict, but those sages could not make a good judgment at that time.

Now we read history in retrospect with the ability to discern, but they were in the situation. Let's return to contractualism. When our relationship is contractual, we share a contract. I give you something and you give me something in return. It is a fantastic legal agreement that lacks humanity. It means that we are only responsible for what we agree to, for being fair but not necessarily kind, although kindness is the very nature of human relationships. Contractualism is useful during conflicts and disagreements; It cannot be the very nature of a relationship. Now it is a mechanism within families.

I will pay for the maid and you will pay for the driver, and so on. Kindness should be the way you treat others. "If he doesn't like one of his characteristics, he will be pleased with another." This is life, sorry. Allah AWJ says: "And do not forget kindness to each other." What a beautiful verse! It is the story of a man who was engaged to a woman and gave her a dowry, but it didn't work out, so he can get back half of her dowry, which is her right, and he can leave her. She has it all, Allah advises you to be kind to each other before being righteous.

What kindness was owed when you had a cup of tea at his house and had his father's approval of the marriage? to be nice. That is why that cup of coffee was significant to the Arabs. It is an obligation of kindness. The obligation that prioritizes kindness and forgiveness over justice to return pain is nice when you are right, but it is horrible when you don't understand. Your rights. In a world of excessive and constantly changing laws. Contractualism led us to dehumanization. -I'm sorry it took me so long to explain! -No, it's okay, I'm enjoying it. There is an important rule: the presence of three things in any relationship excludes moral restrictions.

One is bureaucracy. Being assigned to tasks over which you have no power. The second is to have small but repetitive tasks. The third is to reduce the people they deal with to numbers. This dehumanization was the way in which Nazism's Holocaust was carried out. Each one had a small task: one recorded names, another gave them clothes, and the other assigned numbers. While another person was told to put a hundred people in a van, they were reduced to a checklist. I have to put a hundred inside because someone will hold me accountable. Dehumanization means short, quick tasks that lack a human story.

Why was he screaming? I don't mind. The driver only delivered them as cargo to the assigned location. And they were handed over to someone whose task was to push them into the gas chamber. Al Masiri said that Nazism oppressed people through dehumanization, while modernism also used it, but gently. You can see this dehumanization in hospitals. When a patient with a history and pain goes through small and multiple procedures. You pay someone and then you wait. Then comes another one who shouts your name without even looking at you, Abu Omar! The check is done by someone else;

No one stops and listens to your story. Then a fourth takes you to the doctor who treats you as a medical record. He murmurs without looking you in the eyes and tells you, tomorrow you will have surgery. There is a backstory to this patient, his family, and his feelings. He'll worry about the next case. You are just a number to him. Is he to blame? No. This is the ugliness of dehumanization. Tomorrow is here, so they dressed me, put me in a wheelchair and put a number on my wrist, a number! But you could be in pain, need to go to the bathroom, hungry, or want to make a call!

It doesn't matter. Other people put me to bed and other people operated on me and no one listens to me. None! Each procedure is carried out by a different person! You can't say anything! The same goes for hotels and ride-hailing apps. Contractualism is the way: I get in the car, pay and tell the driver where to go with my headphones. I don't know who he is and he doesn't know who I am. Everyone does their part. Without greetings, without thanks and without human history. The driver doesn't care if someone got in with me or if he was going somewhere dangerous.

He may have a limp and he knows a good doctor, but it doesn't matter. I will give you five stars when you don't practice your humanity with me. This is very strange behavior! This dehumanization led us to competition. Either be competent or they will walk all over you. Napoleon changed the fact that only nobles can rule by giving everyone access to education. This is a good thing. Now they have equal opportunities. Important positions were no longer occupied by nepotism, but by competent people. He not only earned success and money, but also poverty. The poor are now stupid, ignorant and lazy.

Nobody helps them. It's not about competition. Allah AWJ says: “And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even if youplease.” If a minimum of competence is found in the Muslim, accept it. We see more hiring of non-Muslim domestic workers because they are believed to be more competent. It is not a problem, but a value-based system must be taken into account. Now people are striving to increase their competence and acquire more skills, which will affect their families. Why have children in the first place? Family is a burden in the modern labor market. People with families have fewer employment opportunities.

Success and ambition are more complicated than unemployment: it's a trap. Some will delay having children until they achieve something or get their PhD. because they don't want the burden. Competition caused instability and movement. Go from one job to another, from one country to another. Abu Omar, stability is prosperity. You cannot create a true relationship without roots. Without roots, you are just a number. One time, a manager went to pray and discovered that they had the same employees for two years, so he decided to rotate them and move them because he didn't like their relationships. Contractualism and dehumanization!

Simple bureaucratic procedures that neglected the human side of the decision. What happens to their families and neighbors, their houses, their rents, their moves, and their children's schools? All of this was neglected just to have fresh blood in the corporation. If they refuse to move, you can take it or leave it. It's just another contract. Legally the manager is not wrong, but humanly he is. When you have a handyman to fix something in the house and you agree to fifty rials, is it fair to give him the fifty? It's just. That was the agreement. What if you make him lunch or help him with something?

Your friends would criticize you. If you're going to pay, don't bother! Even if you work under the scorching sun or carry heavy things. In Europe, under contractualism, reification and dehumanization, a term was coined: People were reduced to things. Don't help the maintenance staff! He's used to being able to carry you. When you see a car accident if the injured are not Saudis or from the same city or tribe, it's just things. If there was a fight between people from a different country or ethnicity, it became laughable content on social media, although it is a human situation.

This is objectification, seeing people as things. In Europe they were called insect people. It's like when you see ants in the sink, you clean them with a stream of water and then move on with your life. Walking past ants for a fraction of a second bothers them for two hours. You might think that insects can adapt, multiply, and accept being crushed. Some people are seen the same way. Dehumanization, competition and movement created the other. The other dangerous stranger. Why do they market fear? To sell you home security systems. So that you avoid eating in small dangerous restaurants because health is a product of my great restaurants.

The other should be dangerous for market profitability. Everyone has materialistic motives, even when it comes to family. Healthy families mean fewer sales. Scattered families have more cars and more televisions. Humans are perceived this way! The last stop on our journey is Planned Obsolescence. After the Wall Street crash of 1929, the food market rose while the manufacturing industry collapsed. This is due to the short shelf life of food compared to goods. So, they manufactured products with expiration dates to increase consumption. Create a cycle of production, consumption and employment. Then Bernard London's article “ruin to repair” was published. Ruin products to revive factories and the families of factory workers.

Therefore, they reduced the quality of production taking into account the quality of critical parts. For example, in automobiles, engines must be designed with high quality, while fuel injections, decorations and engine valves are perishable and replaceable. Also, to avoid the problems of insurance companies. So, keep them safe but shop! Also, make sure the replacement parts cost as expensive as the original parts. When your printer's ink cartridge is empty, buying another printer is cheaper than buying another ink cartridge. The cost to repair a broken screen is 800. You could also get a new one for 1200, and so on. Plus, opening a product ruins it.

I will fix it, not you, by replacing it. In the past, you could fix the parts to reinstall them, but now they will be replaced with new ones. No more repairs, just replacement. So this consumption and substitution became an attitude in relationships. Divorce and remarriage are easier than fixing the current relationship. Upset about a friend? Cut it! See the number of retweets of tweets that encourage cutting toxic relationships. Added to this is planned obsolescence. Now even devices are programmed to stop working. Sometimes your barely used printer sends a "change cartridge" message; It is scheduled. Even when you're happy with your phone, some app updates can no longer be installed, so you'll need to get another one.

Some software updates are a trap that ruins your phone to change them. Not affording a new one is irrelevant, just get it! People became programmed to be impatient. Replacing relationships is faster than repairing them. Now let's talk about social networks. Abu Omar, technology made life easier, but relationships much more difficult. This life is beautiful for the rich but painful for the needy. People without Internet access suffer and their lives stop. Life is good for you because you never have to go through that. Life is good for the legitimate because of contractualism. Life is good for the powerful who is not controlled by anyone else.

Life is good for those who can consume, but those who cannot afford it have to deal with the sad looks on their children's faces. New technology broke down barriers between people. I went for a walk once; I asked the captain about the strangest things he had witnessed. He told me that he witnessed a moment where the way you look at other drivers can get you pulled over. Now, he parks in front of a strange house of strange people who don't know him. His daughter makes the trip. His fate, company, safety and decency are none of my concern.

He left her and that was it. No more barriers! He said it's a scary transition to take into consideration. Not only did it melt barriers, but it also affected relationship building. Establishing relationships is satisfying needs. All relationships are driven by needs; it is a ruler. Even our relationship with Allah. Except for his relationship with us, Allah is independent SWT. Needs are the glue of relationships. We cannot accuse people of being exploitative while they are just human beings. -All the relationships? -All relationships are based on needs. Meeting my needs doesn't necessarily mean you should buy me a cup of coffee, but I may need you to listen to me or enjoy your presence.

The more needs you can satisfy, the more people will contact you, which is normal! If you accept this fact, you won't hold a grudge when they stop talking to you after you've done them a favor. This is the nature of relationships. Even my relationship with my parents changes depending on the needs I have from them. Mothers are more loved because they satisfy more needs. If the relationship with the mother does not meet that, the father fills the void. A friend told me that one time when his father promised to buy him a car, he had the best week with his father.

His meetings over coffee were pleasant and full of love. His father was always there, but he just started to see it driven by a need. -What are the needs of parents that their children can satisfy? -Parenthood is partly instinctive and partly deliberate. His love is instinctive. There are no orders in the Quran for parents to care for and deal with their children, except in the case of inheritance. The orders are from children to their parents. So, your children's love for you is conditional on your efforts, it is not instinctive. Almawardi said that the first love that children feel for their parents is kinship.

After being the pride of a role model, this love turns into earned reverence or earned disobedience. So at first it's about needs and kinship. But the love of parents for their children is an instinct. Whoever they are, they are loved. Also, a deliberate part. This love is distributed differently among children. An old woman was asked who she loved most of her children. She said the sick until he is well, the absent until he is present and the young until he is old. So, everyone is loved, but in different ways in different circumstances. Returning to technologies, needs are the glue of relationships.

What does this have to do with it? It's a simple story. For example, if my sister needed me and I helped her, her love for me would deepen; We share a story. What are relationships if they are not made of support and truthfulness? Before delivery services, I used to ask my sister or my wife to prepare a feast for my guests, and she will always impress them and make me happy. But now everyone orders food. The delivery man arrives and we don't even look at his face. Many dehumanized procedures when ordering food. We used to order food over the phone and this was the key: hello, 2 burgers, no cheese, Abu Bader, half an hour.

No Salam (greetings), or how are you? That was what a restaurant was called. If you greet and speak to the employee, he will ask you to end the call so he can receive other orders. Even when sending text messages on WhatsApp, a message and its response, etc. We'll talk about social media later, but now let's focus on service technology. So, the delivery guy brought the food and I didn't look at him or invite him in. I didn't mind if you were late picking up my order and I will review every move you make with a star.

Nowadays, children order food and pick up their orders, but no one else knows or shares it with them. When they receive gifts, no one shares their amazement and their joys are private. Congratulations on your individualistic match! -They just take a photo! -For people on social networks. So that the virtual world can safely see it. Reality is not safe because there are emotional obligations. In virtuality, you block and replace. It is safe to enter into relationships and be free to leave them. Regarding service technology, not exchanging needs will not lead us to achieve anything. We are both independent.

I asked a 114-year-old man from Az Zulfi called Addihesh. He probably died six years ago. I asked him this important question because I thought he had generations of knowledge on the matter. I said, “Dude, who is the person who identifies as a good person?” Although it is common to expect past generations to be the good ones, he said, "son, everyone is a good person today." I was shocked and asked why? I thought he would reprimand us! He said that “as long as everyone has money, everyone will be good people. I used to respect and tolerate my neighbors because they took care of my family when I traveled." No matter how difficult my neighbor was, I tolerated him because I needed him.

But now, your money is enough for you. He provides you with a car , food and accommodation. One can visit his brother in another city, but sleep in a hotel and eat elsewhere, so as not to be a burden, even the brother is relieved of the duties of hospitality. No burden! services leave no glue in relationships. Are these relationships comfortable? Yes, but not safe. Who would support you and help you when you need it? Or would you attend your funeral? People in Jahannam say, “they just want a friend.” This kind of relationship leaves you with no friends to turn to or intercede for you.

A friend helps you in this life and intercedes in the hereafter. why have friends? Now, regarding social networks, consumerism increased. in all aspects of life because that is what it promotes. This consumerism led us to accumulate relationships instead of devotion. To be unfaithful instead of loyal. Relationships are a matter of time, not love, in which one of the two participates. He is a passer-by, there are no obligations, everyone is happy and life goes on. Social networks dilute the sense of responsibility. When something horrible happens to someone, sharing a tweet about it frees me from the moral burden I've done.

My share, but that person didn't get anything. You sent me a condolence message on WhatsApp! Did you know? I'm happy with that too, I don't want responsibilities as a grieving person. why the funeral will be in the cemetery. Some women now show their newborns through the projector when people visit them. People are happy, celebrating and relieved. Social media connected people in a way that freed them from all responsibilities. Covid accelerated that. What could have happened gradually over ten years, happened quickly during the pandemic. Education, healthcare, meetings and podcasts aresatisfied with me and when you are upset with me." This is situational awareness of relationships.

You don't need to shout or slam the door. She asked him how do you discern? He said, "When you are satisfied with me you say, 'No, by the Lord of Muhammad", and when you are angry with me, you say: "No, by the Lord of Ibrahim." She said: “Messenger of Allah, by Allah, I indeed leave your name.” So, I change the name of the person I disagree with, even my wife. I call her Um/mother of (someone) to remember the glue of our relationship. To remind myself that she is the mother of my children, so I must respect her.

I change her name according to my feelings towards her. Sometimes you just need to lower her rank and change her disposition. By not responding immediately and making fewer sacrifices and excuses. These privileges change depending on her rank. My response to my father's call and my behavior towards him is different from dealing with anyone else. But if I gave these privileges to everyone equally, it's my fault. Misplaced prioritization of relationships occurs. For example, when you have already planned to go somewhere with your family but you meet an acquaintance on the way, you should prioritize your family over him.

Otherwise, prioritizing the conversation with him to maintain your image is unfair; It is an undue right. It is a lack of awareness of relationships. So this classification or disposition is determined by her response. To finish the topic of rearrangement. When someone bothers me, I don't immediately respond to their needs. I don't answer their calls, I reduce the time I spend with them and I think less about them. Also, I don't pray for them. Not praying for someone is my revenge; It's a tough answer that makes me feel much better. This was the relationship agreement. Now, we will discuss their classifications, which are five types.

The living relationship. It is nourished by commitment, obligations, kindness, justice and forgiveness. If you and the public can, start sorting them along with me. In addition to the life relationship, there is the illness relationship, which is mainly about avoiding blame. Satisfy someone's needs to prevent them from getting angry with me. If you wanted to keep the relationship sick, you would need vitamins to become healthier. -What are those vitamins? -Let's get there. Three, disgusting relationships. That they demand that you give more than you receive and blame you for not giving too much. For example, we went to dinner together, but Ayman was upset because we didn't invite him.

He demands a non-existent obligation from me towards him, which is disgusting. Fourth, dead relationships. Without demands or obligations. By the way, it is commonly called a tree relationship. They exist peacefully without love and without need for affection. Like the motionless tree or people in a coma, may Allah grant them recovery. Each spouse is independent, busy with his career and has no obligations to the other, while his children have their own life. Everything happens peacefully and without conflicts. It's like living in a rental house that you expect to leave anyway, so you don't bother to fix it up.

There are no rights provided, no obligations met, and no conflicts. This is not life! Allah says, “so that you may find comfort in them,” not simply by coexisting with them. There is no comfort or peace in the life of a man who lacks a wife. Otherwise, he would always be anxious. Neither a mother nor a sister can play this role, only a wife can do it. Ibn Abbas said: "Adam in heaven felt alone." In the sky! But he felt lonely because having relationships is crucial. "So Allah created Hawa from his ribs while he was sleeping to give him comfort." Human beings find comfort in intimacy and in having a companion, a wife.

She is the one of whom Allah says: "And she has put compassion and mercy among you." Otherwise, how could a stranger from another background become so close so quickly that I feel comfortable being indecent? Only Allah SWT puts this love between them until that strange man becomes more comforting than his father, and that strange woman becomes the most beloved of him. So, this peace will never be possible if it was sought in any relationship other than marriage. Wallah (I swear by Allah) that any relationship that does not please Allah will not end up pleasing you. A relationship with a foreign woman with whom you say you are happy will not end well.

Ask whoever has been there. It will be a dead relationship that will ruin your life and fail you in the hereafter. Now there exists, Abu Omar, a new relationship that does not belong to human nature. A friendship between a man and a woman that ends when one of them expresses their love for him. My friend who I complain to about my girlfriend or my wife, while she complains to me about her boyfriend or husband. End with the declaration of love because that was not the agreement! What a strange relationship! Not everything available is attainable. The relationship must not be illicit or unnatural.

You don't have the right to choose the flower you want. Attraction is not a sufficient reason. Allah SWT says: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze" and "tell the believing women to lower their gaze." What is the relationship that is missing from this view? When dealing with the opposite sex, women are ordered not to speak in a feminine manner. And only speak within the context, “but speak with appropriate language.” Do not wear perfume or show your beauty, and never be alone together. Thus, sharing a place, indecent appearances or conversations are not allowed. In addition to the fact that women are man's ultimate seduction.

So how will a relationship be legal and normal if you bypass these regulations and do not comply with these orders? So this was the dead relationship, which is bad no matter who it is with. I will end this part with the hadith of the Prophet. It is about three friends who were locked in a cave. The first one asked Allah for his good deeds, so he opened up a little. The second did the same and opened a little more. The third did the same and they were freed from the cave. I always think that if one of them were a sinner, he might have been blocked.

Friends can take you to heaven or hell, so choose your companion in the afterlife. This was the general explanation. -I want to ask you about some points that you have pointed out. -Forward! -Let's start at the end. -Let's not forget the attachment that is called love. OK! Ayman, please remind me. We are talking about a changing society where men and women share all spaces, whether in the workplace or in public places. So what is the definition of a healthy relationship between men and women under these conditions? -That's why you are unique, Abu Omar! What a good question! -Thank you.

Being in contact with someone is different from being in a relationship. It is temporary, restricted and determined. A relationship, on the other hand, is a repetitive and versatile communication. In the workplace, communicating with customers is different from communicating with colleagues. When this repetitive communication with a colleague is taken out of context to diversify it, such as an encounter outside the workplace, it becomes a relationship. So, being in contact with the opposite sex is different from being in a relationship. In the case of a relationship, it's simple. If there was any attraction, ask for her hand in marriage.

Cross-gender communication has two rules: “don't be too accommodating when speaking” and “speak frankly.” Allah told us how to speak and what to speak about. The "how" is to speak in a moderate tone. The “what” is not talking about other matters that are not related to work, such as complimenting someone's watch or perfume. This is not a simple way. These small conversations and suggestions eventually lead to a relationship. Relationships are like riding a bicycle. At first you need to have a bit of a quiver to be able to ride in a straight line. If you slowed down at this shaking stage, you would fall.

Therefore, slowing down and being inconsistent will not build relationships. But the opposite happens when you straighten the bike by complimenting a watch or a perfume or bringing them a coffee. I'm not judging, but that's how relationships start. Everyone knows himself and the commands that Allah has given him. Controlling this quiver is how relationships begin in all gender contexts. When you ride this bike and you're about to fall, it will be the only thing you remember from that ride. So if you fall, there will be no relationship, but otherwise it will only get stronger. Recovering from that fall, whether through reconciliation, forgiveness, or providing help, strengthens the relationship.

This must be taken into account in order to discern relationships from the communication and whether it is consistent or not. And differentiate between regular and deep relationships. A regular relationship is tied to a specific time and place and in a repetitive manner, such as in the workplace. Same place, same people from 8 am to 2 pm. This relationship is like a fish that dies when it leaves the sea, from its context. When I go on vacation no one asks about me and when I come back no one has missed me. No commitment outside of working hours and outside the office. -These are the usual relationships! -Yeah.

Being aware of this frees you from blaming your colleagues for not asking about you while you were away. No obligations! When I was a teacher at Shagra in 1999, we bonded as colleagues and I really loved them. When they transferred me to another city, I promised to visit them later and never forget them. An old man, Abu Hussain, contemplated a scene that he had witnessed dozens of times. He said, "The last thing we'll see of you is the taillights of your car as you drive away." I told him: "No, not me, he forgets his colleagues!" He turned out fine.

I have been thinking about visiting them every year for 24 years, but I never went back. That's not because they're a bad person or undeserving, but it's the nature of normal relationships. When you take the usual relationship out of context, it becomes a different relationship. He is now a friend, not a colleague. For example, brothers-in-law only occasionally meet at their wives' family home. No strong relationships! But there were two of them who took their relationship outside of that context, so it deepened. Because they broke the regularity of the relationship: every Friday, at my uncle's house. Monday's meeting strengthens and expands the relationship.

Plus, there are the old relationships. Like we lived in the same neighborhood years ago, then we ran into each other at a grocery store and said hello. In old relationships, there is a strategy you should know. If you want to end the relationship, greet them coldly. Die immediately. Abu Omar, you must keep in mind that you have a choice in relationships. It may be too much for me to be in a new relationship and deal with all its obligations. -Is it okay to do it? -Yes, it's your choice. You will have to make a microsecond decision about whether you want this relationship or not.

Being politely cold kills him. If you show enthusiasm, it will revive. Your choice. Showing enthusiasm in old relationships immediately breaks the ice. They would call you by your childhood nickname and make fun of you. If your son, who sees you as a cool kid, were with you, he might be surprised by your past. In addition, there are permanent and temporary relationships. My relationship with you is temporary. We share a specific purpose that we fulfill and move forward. No obligations. With the person next to me on the train or in the waiting room at my dentist. Temporary relationships are based on respect.

On the other hand, permanent relationships don't change, even when your feelings change. Your uncle will remain your uncle whether you love him or not. -What about the wife? Permanent or temporary! -It depends. The wife is a permanent relationship because she is the mother of your children. If you don't have children, you are her mother's son-in-law and there are obligations. I explained it to you so you know who to prioritize. You prioritize your cousin over someone with whom you share a temporary relationship. Temporary relationships are replaceable, but your cousin is not. Temporary relationships do not have a relational network, but permanent ones do.

An important question that you indicated is: should we have many relationships or not? In The Dunbar Number, which Malcolm Gladwell addressed in the introduction to his book, he said that every person has a sympathy group. It is crucial for your well-being and can accommodate 12 people. Only 12 will you be able to give them enough care and attention. The longer the group, the less obligated you will be and the more likely you will be to burn out. Two, he said that every five relationships create ten connections, one network. You and I don't share a network of relationships, but with our close friends we do.

This network is affected by this relationship. My son once told me that he was upset because he had a conflict with his mother, which made her sad. I told him to apologize to her and asked her mother to go easy on him so they could come to an agreement, and everything worked out. He thanked me and that was it for him. But I asked him to apologize for hurting my wife. He was surprised and I insisted on apologizing. He apologized to me and he apologized to her brothers for hurting her mother. This is the network of relationships in which all connections benefit or harm a relationship.

Relationships are responsibilities. Amr Ibn Al-As said: "The more brothers you have, the more enemies you have." When you are obligated to everyone, you will not be able to satisfy anyone's rights. Too many relationships are a burden, but a few warm, close ones are a blessing. According to Dunbar, the maximum number ofrelationships you can have is almost 190. How many numbers do you have in your phone? Two or three thousand! When you need it, how many can you call? Some. Too many relationships are quicksand, beneath which lie your true marginalized friends. Some people treat their friends like a dictionary.

They are only opened when they need meaning and will gather dust again. If you were treated that way, accept it anyway, but don't do it to others. Regarding the Dunbar Number, the maximum number of relationships was reduced to 151. Relationships aside, as for the family, the minimum limit of relationships in a nuclear family is 8. Husband to wife, father to daughter, father to son, mother to daughter, mother to son, brother to brother and sister to sister. 8 relationships. Adding grandfather and uncle as extended family, the minimum becomes 32 relationships. With a paternal uncle and a maternal uncle, the minimum is 32.

Adding my uncle's grandson, my cousin and her husband, and her sister and her husband, as a complex family, the maximum becomes 151. So the minimum sum of relationships I am required to meet 191. Why should I burden myself with more relationships? That's why there is so much guilt in so many relationships. Everyone is busy but they keep blaming others. The wise thing is to take the blame but not return it. Sorry, you can't sit down! Don't worry! I am having fun. How are you? You are in love? How to set limits in relationships? How to keep regular relationships where they should be?

Lower your ranking. We spend less time with them and less responses, etc. When they call three times, answer once. And make it dignified because they could get angry. This will not allow these relationships to prosper but it will not turn them into enemies. Speaking of enemies, they should be welcome! Expect nemesis while building relationships and embrace them because everyone has them. Allah SWT says: "We made enemies for every prophet from among the wicked." Prophets with good manners and great characters had enemies. Allah says about the prophet Musa: “And I bless you with kindness from me.” Everyone who saw him loved him, even Pharaoh.

He only hated Musa when he declared his principles. A person without enemies is a person without principles; It's a rule, Abu Omar! Otherwise, you would be complying with everyone. You should not lose your principles of pleasing everyone because that is impossible. But you don't make enemies intentionally because the more enemies you have, the less space on earth you can enjoy. They would be everywhere except your house. If you made enemies of the grocery store clerk, you would have to drive further to another grocery store, and so on. If the prison is empty, the warden will be free.

He is there with them but on the other side of the bars. He releases all your resentments so as not to be his prisoner. Some people are limited by a list of enemies that they cannot join in any event they are at. Grudges are like poison: when it comes out, it kills them, and when it's in, it kills you. So take it easy. Last point... I'm sorry it took me so long. Another important rule about relationships: the more intense the relationship, the shorter it lasts. And when it becomes an attachment, it ends quickly. -How is that? -So easy.

It's like a manual shift. When in fifth gear, the car moves smoothly. But at first speed! It is not like this. Anxious attachment is a roaring engine, it burns. Love is sweet and refreshing, but attachment is a withering torment. It's a mental question. When Ibn Abbas saw someone who was in love and looked sick, he prayed throughout the Day of Arafat: "I seek refuge in Allah from falling in love." It is a dysfunction in a relationship. What are the signs of attachment or falling in love? One, do I sacrifice myself because I love you or so that you love me?

A big difference! Two, there are three indicators that you have attachment problems: 1. Thinking about them in their absence. 2. Focus on them in your presence. 3. Be possessive of them. Having these three is a sign that you have problems. If you're not around, I'd text you, "I wish you were here." My life will revolve around you when you are with me. And I will prevent you from interacting with anyone but me. I get so angry because he gets too close that I push him away and reject him. So when I can't push him away, I avoid him. I would become cybernetically paralyzed, turn off my phone, and ask people not to tell my whereabouts.

He would be possessive of me, stalk me, and harass my family. Why are you doing this to yourself? I heard many heartbreaking stories and read dozens of comments from people struggling with attachment issues. Ibn Al Qayyim said: "Whoever is attached to something, that becomes his agony." There are two types of unhealthy attachments. It could be mutual and represent the letter A. Also, an attachment style with the letter T. When one goes, the other falls. All harmful attachments become animosities. -All of them? -Yeah. There are some exceptions who were granted the blessing of Allah. Friendships can become attachments, but attachments never become friendships.

It always ends horribly and vengefully. Why is that? When we shake hands and remove them naturally, we will remain upright. But when I take your hands and lie down, I will be attached to you. -What will happen if you let me go? -You would fall. I would fall and who caused it? You! I hate you! You hurt me and destroyed me, that's why I hate you! But you didn't do anything. You just practiced your right to have relationships. There is a mental village of falling in love where I put you on a platform to worship you.

To praise you and brag about you. And there is an altar where I offer sacrifices to please you. A platform, an altar and a hospital. The hospital where I complained about you. They either complain about the past or worry about the future, never about the present moment. And there is the tower where they watch you and stalk you. --This is not a relationship; It is a disease. -Does it happen between marriages? -Yes, it could be more intense, but it shouldn't be like that. -Wow! One of her sisters was very attached to her husband, which hindered her life.

I wrote him a comment, “your husband's life is a book in which you are a page, but your life is a book that is titled: My husband” It is a mistake. Human beings play several roles. To be a servant of Allah, a son, a father, a husband, a friend, a neighbor, a citizen and an employee. All these roles cannot be reduced to one. The attached person is like a raging bull. He destroys everything in his path until his beloved blushes. Looking back, he discovers that his family, his friends, and his interests are ruined. I want us to discuss the relationship between the two genders again.

If a person is attracted to her co-worker and wants to marry her. but he wants to meet her before making it official. How to navigate that? It is happening and we see it in Saudi Arabia. Honestly, people say that marriage used to be like buying a watermelon; Your mother chooses the girl. But this watermelon produced the person who asks. It was the norm. But we must not go from one extreme to the other. Do I have to be in an unofficial relationship with a lady for a long time to understand her? You only need one sip or sniff of the juice jug to tell if it's mango or orange juice.

So there is no need to exaggerate to know her. The question is how these relationships begin. It starts with the first impression, which leads to one of three decisions. Or save it, cut it, or make it superficial. Making it superficial is limiting it to greetings, like in the workplace or in the neighborhood. Or to cut it off and nip the possibility of a relationship in the bud. Or keep it if the person seemed nice. The decision to keep it leads me to feel attracted and interested in someone with whom I interact often. Then the bait stage, to find out if you're just being polite or if you really like me.

It could be a gift to help me understand your feelings towards me through your reaction. These maneuvers could be detected and nipped in the bud if this relationship is not to go further. In case there was a mutual attraction and this relationship continued to grow, you should stop here and decide. If you love her, don't hurt her with uncertainties. If you don't, at least love yourself, be a man and that's it. Find a legal, healthy and safe way to meet her. I wouldn't steal something I liked to try it, I ask for it. So, I find a simple way to meet her.

Keep in mind that ruining a relationship with a coworker ruins her entire job. The quality of your performance depends on the quality of your emotions. Your emotions depend on the quality of your relationships. For example, when Musa said: “my heart will break and my tongue will be tied.” His emotions inhibited his language, which is his acting quality. When your emotions are unstable at work because of a relationship that didn't work out, your performance and that of the other person will suffer. This will cause instability in the workplace and defeat the purpose of team building in this place.

So to avoid the cliffhanger phase, send someone to ask about her potential. After the attraction stage, the exploring and getting to know each other stage begins. Man to man, direct communication. But from man to woman, legitimately, there must be a mediator. I talk directly to you, ask you about yourself and find our common interests. The exploration stage leads to three decisions. Make it superficial, cut it or keep it. The decision to maintain the relationship at this stage is more mature than the previous one. It is true love and attraction, unlike the infatuation at the beginning. Relationships have three stages: falling in love, realization and decision making.

The problem of attachment arises from persisting in the first stage. It's a blind relationship where you don't know who they really are. Attachment begins blindly but ends with the piercing eyes of a hawk. And see all your flaws and mistakes. It is not love. The attached stays in the first, but the wise knows that it is an introduction to the second stage. Otherwise, why would he move on to the next stage if he didn't love you? As I mentioned before, the second is about exploration. If the second stage took a long time, the decision would be not to maintain the relationship for the most part.

Because? Because I thought that was his real face, but it turned out to be a mask. At this stage, people take off their masks. I wear a mask now, and so do you, and we all use a mask for every situation. Carl Jung said that we have as many people as there are people we know. After taking off the masks, I wouldn't want to have you in my life because I have seen your truth. But if I were a husband at this stage, I would like to accept you and accept the fact that no one is perfect.

When this disclosure stage takes too long and I am constantly judging, I will eventually reject this relationship. So, commitment breeds patience and acceptance. Commit as partners in a project or be married and have children. This patience and commitment creates a stable relationship. It is like a mountain with two rivers running from opposite sides. Different upbringings, origins and personalities of the husband and wife. These rivers splash with disagreements when they meet in marriage, but then harmoniously become a calm river. Some people quit at the splash moment. This disagreement can be as small as one person liking a cold room but the other does not, or as fundamental as a difference in beliefs.

This impact could be reduced by asking the right question from the beginning. Not the superficial questions, like his favorite color, that will be answered with lies. The Prophet (S) ordered the women to attend the pre-wedding meeting in their daily and usual appearance, so that neither would be deceived by the other. The suitor could claim that he is a loyal and devoted family man as long as he does not stay at home. The lady might say that she is a good cook and that her hands are covered in burn scars because she can't fry an egg. This deception will definitely create a problem, so ask the right questions. -What are the correct questions about? -Perception of the opposite sex, their dreams, ambitions and friendships.

This tells me what kind of person he is and if he is superficial. It is good to keep three "listenings" in mind. Hear from him, hear about him and make him hear. Not just hearing about it but also hearing from it. Don't take his word for it or discredit it. And I make him listen to what I think of me. Ask about his relationship with Allah, his work and commitment, sense of responsibility and financial behaviors. Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: "Stinginess is the disease of all diseases." Ask how he handles his anger and what his idea of ​​stability is.

Sometimes it is necessary to consult the suitor's CV to see his work pattern. If he tends to be stable or changes jobs frequently. Bauman discovered that boredom in marriage usually began after 7 years. But with everything we have said, nowadays boredom begins after 18 months. This boredom also applies to work. So if this man tends to get bored, he indicates a low sense of responsibility and patience which are very necessary in marriage. These were some examples of the correct questions. Excellent! Marriage aside, I want us to talk a little more about relationships. You mentioned the unhealthy relationship. How to fix it?

There are vitamins to cure them. First, vitamin responsibility. Are you going to be responsible for this unhealthy relationship? If yes, don't expect the other person to do it too. Therefore, you must be patient andbear your pain. Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: "maintain connection with the one who interrupted you." People can, generously or reciprocally, maintain relationships or fail to fulfill their rights. The latter is who I try to maintain relationships with but encounter neglect. And the reciprocal type is when we exchange equal gestures. The best is the generous one who will maintain relationships even if met with negligence.

In sick relationships you have to be responsible and generous. There are different levels to address it. I'll go over the vitamins, but first I want to explain these levels to you. The lesser form: poorly coping with someone's generosity towards me. The reciprocal way: when you are good to me, I will be good to you, and when you are bad to me, I will be bad to you. The kind attitude: Even if you are bad to me, I will be good to you. Or treat you how I want to be treated, which is a higher level. The best level is to treat people as Allah wants and prefers, with forgiveness and generosity.

But the best thing is to treat people the way I want Allah to treat me. You want Allah to forgive you, bless you and protect you. With this mindset, you can choose which approach to take in this unhealthy relationship. Cooperation is one of the vitamins that make relationships healthier. Cooperation is initiating kindness and caring without them asking for it. Be sincere in your advice and patient in your criticisms and reproaches. We mentioned that unhealthy relationships are all about avoiding blame, so keep that in mind and deal with accusing yourself of not meeting their needs. But after all, are you obliged to be?

It depends on whether it was a permanent or temporary relationship. And ask yourself if you are the reason this relationship is sick so you know if you can fix it. Dealing with this unhealthy relationship requires many considerations, but the most important thing is to take responsibility. -How about the dead relationship? -Cut it off completely and avoid contact. Regarding attachment relationships, get rid of all their gifts and everything that reminds you of them. Abu Omar, relationships are memories, habits and reminders. Reminders can be gifts, places, songs or even perfumes. Get rid of everything if you want to cure yourself of that attachment.

This is for anyone who wants to get rid of an attachment. Abandon everything that revives this relationship. Avoiding memories and contact, such as texting them to find out their whereabouts, helps heal attachment. When you do that, you'll notice that they crave attention, which is strange! It is like a shadow that moves away from it when you chase it and comes closer when you run away from it. This is the point at which many people who want to cure themselves of attachment relapse. Her friend, who used to answer one call out of five, is now calling and reaching out!

The attachment will get worse. The obsession becomes extreme and the pain will become extreme too. The avoidant person sets the attached person's heart on fire and enjoys the warmth. It's like a minefield where each deeper explosion makes you even more terrified of returning. They go too far and lose their Dunya, the hereafter and their money. I heard many stories; Their lives revolve around their loved ones until they encounter rejection and become lifeless. A successful relationship is between equals and moves like a swing. Attachment is a rigid relationship in which you throw yourself into pain, blame them, and hate them.

Let the relationship breathe and balance. This is how to deal with the dead relationship, leave everything related to it in the past and be determined to move on. Here are some helpful ways to deal with dead relationships. Dead relationships lead to associating place with status. You see this in meetings where you sit according to your status. A state defines the place and vice versa. So, we have the rule of social numbers. Everyone has a social number that changes depending on the place. A person can be number one somewhere and must accept that they can be ten somewhere else.

You are a doctor at university, a number one, but in your family home, your number changes depending on your siblings. People are celebrated when they are number one, but that is not the case in all social situations. Coming here today and being welcomed and celebrated by you and your team, may Allah reward you well, is an example. But when I return home, Um Bader will ask me why I didn't buy eggs. Eggs? Do you give me eggs? Is this my state? Yes it is. Because there I am a husband, a partner of responsibilities. This acceptance and awareness makes it much easier to deal with many situations in life.

For a mathematician at university one plus one is two, but at home one plus one is what his father decides. I was once with my mother as Yasser's relationship coach and started advising her on how to deal with my brother using theories. She said, “When I gave birth to you, I put you in a tissue box. So small. Now you talk to me with disdain? Know your number! I respect that important director whose number is one in a corporate meeting. The meeting began and drinks were served when he appeared, although he was not the oldest. But with the same group in a different environment, you put the armrest on the older person and serve the first cup of coffee to someone else.

He knows that in that context he is no longer number one and that a different place changed his status. I respect that person. My driver could be number ten to me, but if I wanted to take a photo to send to his children, I have to show them that his father is number one. The angels are numbered and each heaven has its angels. Besides the prophets, "We have favored some over others." Furthermore, the companions of the Prophet were numbered. Umar R.A relinquished the number one position saying, “Wallah, I will not compete with you after today, Abu Bakr.” , "and he elevated some of them in rank above others" Maturity is accepting these different numbers.

Al Jahiz said: "Avoid the center of the meeting place because it rotates; if you had it now, you will be eliminated when a person with a higher status enters." Therefore, it is wise to avoid that seat even if you thought your number is one, sit on the sides. These numbers are distributed according to several factors. religious authority. There may be a doctor and a major general on site, but when it comes time for prayer, a young Hafiz is the imam who leads the prayer. Also academic authority and social authority that is obtained through money, fame or old age.

The rich, the famous, and the elderly have social authority. Their social authority determines their number. There may be a human authority from a sick or distressed person or at a funeral. Your number changes depending on your situation. Consciousness is so beautiful; helps you organize people. There is authority of skills. The one who knows the way or has mechanical skill is number one. Or the dentist who opens the mouth of a major general, “leave your tongue and lower it,” is number one. The most powerful authority is moral authority. The man who approached the prophet Muhammad trembling with respect and said: “Calm down, because I am not a king. "I'm just the son of a woman who ate dried meat." Moral authority is what lasts because there will always be more famous, richer and educated people.

Human authority is merely sympathy and religious authority is in specific situations. But always being a person with good manners, kindness and generosity is an authority that maintains your status even in your absence. -Sorry, it took me too long. -Thank you very much and may Allah grant you well-being. Thank you all. This is Finjan, a product of thmanyah. We publish with love from Riyadh. Until next week! -Thanks for your efforts! -Thank you for being here, you honored us! I didn't think it would be so beautiful, thanks to you! He intimidated me by telling me that the interview had to go a certain way.

Then he said "whatever you want to say." Don't even say your name! He is the number one authority! I'm sorry about everything! May Allah benefit you.