UNHhhh ep 179 - Change

I'm your mom, yes, you are. I'm a young girl who struggled to get a perm and then hated it and cried and made her mom wash it. I had to take her to the office with me. She sat under my desk all day. nibbling on my thighs, I had to see what playlists my music appears on on Spotify and one of the playlists was called sapphic longing, should we do an episode? I think we should, what are we talking about,

change

, okay, speaking of, I know you want to. let's

change

our clothes, but this is, I don't think we've worn two more clothes off, off, what are you talking about, I gave birth to you, you're my daughter, I don't know my daughter, you're serving, um.

I'm taking you to the suburbs of Washington DC for a sleepover. I would wear this. I might wear this fall drag if I ever get to DJ as a bear party and that way the bears can come after me and gain access. I think that's what they're going to do Trixie Mattel reverse crisscross and I have nothing against a good friend, but there's evil here, Katya, and welcome to Oh, the show where we talk about whatever we want because it's our show and Not yours, baby. I see you the more things change the more they stay the same true it's the same it's the same I'm the same maybe I foolishly hold on to this hope that I shouldn't have that I can change no matter what I could wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person well you could , but you won't, um, that's right.

We have tried to make you change. What would you say the biggest change in your life has been in the last year? From soft to crusty. Don't know. Oh, I don't change the good change, the bad change, well, my legs have lengthened and toned. I started making scrunchies around my wrist because I never know when I have to put my hair up because then that's what bothered me. See the hunter has the attitude to work it and serve it. We have to write a book that is completely like here. I'll stop you right there and kybosh that whole scenario.

Oh, you don't have to write anything, but you know what? Do you think Dean Koontz likes to write? I don't know anything about myself. What if you think Daniel still likes to write? I never met her. Can I ask you about your life in general? How do you think you handle change? Are you someone you can stick with? the flow or you are someone who needs a moment people would make me believe that I am very sexy that I am very resistant to change that I am a creature that I am a creature of habit that enjoys its comforts, but I eat when things change you too I love it when they stay the same I don't know I don't know you know what I do know is that I don't know anything I don't know anything I'm not trying to know anything and you know what the lesson was.

We are all different. I think I handle change very well. You know, I think when the building is on fire, I'm the person who says, "Well, what can we do?" Yes, you are fainting. little cups of water croissants things like that so you really are like a fly in the seat of your pants moment to moment, although I think so, however, those who work for me would probably say that even the smallest deviation in my day can really throw me off everyone into a spiral and when I say everyone I mean me, you, I'll turn left, take a look, I'm going to kill everyone.

They described me. They described me as a tank speeding down a muddy hill that could be knocked over by a twig, you know, it wasn't changing Obama's slogan, but you know what, although you could argue that there's not much to change, but we have the Michelle's arms, that's true, that's true, and she really knows how to wear jewelry and she talked about vegetables, I thought she was fierce, I want. to live in the white house you do the servitude mary every day you just tell the chef what your dream food is you want the food and then i bet you the day after they stopped being president they went to their little apartment in yo no I don't know New Jersey wherever they live now and Michelle was like, What's a frying pan?

Probably her atrocious abilities disappeared. Do you think they bring their own sheets? No, no, I think they have safety sheets. I think a secret service agent sleeps under the bed. and at night if you're nervous you put your hand to the side and he licks it and you're like he's still here changing if we change again if you would change my diaper if I was a boy if I was yours if you were a boy no no if you were my child no no if you were an adult let's go back I had an accident so I broke both arms I have to wear diapers well how did you do it hanging lighting okay both bones humorous snap so I have to poop in a diaper and I'll stay at your house for three days Would you change my diaper if I paid you 400?

I wouldn't charge you money I would do it if you were like that I need help going to the bathroom or whatever yeah we can never talk about that oh really we can never talk about that would you change the soup for the diarrhea in my diaper , well, you know who would like that? The teenage lesbians who crave us diaper sapphic diaper sapphic porn diaper mom mom daughter diaper porn that depresses me I know that depresses me let's change the subject but you know if I get pregnant we can keep the milk we can sell that I mean we change everything the time we We change our clothes We change our wig We change our minds Some of us change our socks and underwear Some of us let scabs form on our bodies How often do you change your underwear every day Mary? the only option is every day or sometimes twice a day this Good morning, okay, this is something that happens to me, it's like one of my extravagant things.

Sometimes when I use the tushy and I raise the water too much, the water shoots inside me and I don't know, put it away, no, no. I don't know and then I'm a human water bottle and then let's say I'm at my house and I have underwear on one night, I think I'm going to fart and then water comes out and I have accidentally showered on the kitchen floor and then you change it twice a day you don't just tape it up tight, you know, I drink wine, I keep those corks, okay, oh yeah, it's a bidet with tushy, yeah, and I don't know how to turn the pressure down yes, so it's like a fire hose that I've taken the skin off my feet with, I don't know what to do, it's toilet water, no, it's clean water, where does it come from, fresh from the tap? pulling the spring and sometimes if you're me, I'll replace it like a light beer, I'm the ultra balloon, yeah, like I'm going to make an ultra white lobe, thin, a white, a nice chardonnay when I develop a problem with the drink, when you drink more deeply.

You'll know the problem because I'm going to come to work and I'm just going to maintain eye contact, but drinking wine to the max would be like yeah, that's how it was, so I just didn't, I couldn't address it this morning. I just woke up and was like, “ugh, one of them.” I had a case on Mondays and then I'll take an empty bottle and say who's hungry. That could be a fun change in the drag world where we make a lot of changes specifically. In the theater they call it a quick change, but in drag shows every change is a quick change, you know what Andrew likes to do, he used to throw, he likes to throw things, I think he's mad at that, yeah, like I like it, yeah, I'm like, wait. he's going to break he's going to break and he always does he always does he says wow like oh that's how I mean manhandle well Did you ever think he broke because you're stretching him over your grotesque shoulders?

It's a woman's garment, I don't know. senator we will have to talk about that in the reparations committee stop listening I have definitely changed for the better on this show mateo sagati recently said oh I saw the original video of you and Katya Tooting and Beauty Raven's appearance and really It looks different. and I said yes would you like to explain to me in more detail that you looked disgusting and I'm beautiful now I just can't believe it well you're 32 yes I mean I mean some kind of golden ratio right now where I am. I'm very old in drag but I'm not decrepit yet like this is the golden hour.

You're the same age I was when I came into season seven. Oh, that's sad, you're in bad taste. Do you think when we met? Do you think it is like that? Why didn't we initially click right away like I told Katy? I'll never overestimate you again because I was in my early twenties, yeah, and you were, I was like Tasha Davis. Things have changed so much. Things change very quickly, so quickly. Like dog lives, how many dog ​​lives are there in a year, I've been a friend for years, I usually kill about three with drag, I feel like you age like ten, ten to one, ten to one, ten to one, a hundred and no It helps that this is an industry where we're constantly surrounded by 21-year-old baby drag queens.

I think people now say: well, either be a doctor or drag, I'll do drag because it makes more money. I know it's like, what are you talking about? It's crazy that drag is a lucrative financial option up there in law school, look at the material, even though lawyers think that's normal, that's the ugly truth, mom, look at this look here, the best you can hope for It's a raisin. ranch where they change it twice a day and they always tickle me to sleep when we started drag it was at a time where if you did it it was at the cost of sacrificing so much because you weren't cool it was like no one did it it wasn't right it wasn't right it wasn't cool to pay and now I think people are like that, I guess I'll just shave my eyebrows, get a full set of acrylics and leave my 401k, I mean people would just jump off the wagon if I could change something. right now at this moment I wouldn't be hungover spray me with sperm I'm getting pregnant I was so horny the other day I was on the phone with David and I said show me your he said you were disgusting and hung up love so bad, so bad, I'm like there's a time in our relationship when I couldn't get you to stop sending me photos.

Things change. Things change.