Why your house is driving you crazy (the hidden cause)

We don't have time to read all the books or bake all the cakes or wear all the hats or all the shoes we don't have time to play with all the toys or archive all the photos to use all the hair and skin products and we definitely don't. We don't have enough time to use all the cleaning products we have purchased for all the craft materials, we don't have time to try all the recipes or even use the food we already have and we don't have enough time to use all the clothes we have or enough time to write all the greeting cards and thank you notes oh, we definitely don't have enough time to put out all the fall and christmas decorations we have and I say all that so you know you're not

crazy

.

I know we don't like to use that word now. It's okay if things in

your

house

feel out of place. If you feel out of control If you say: Why can't I handle everything? What's happening to me? The problem is not you, it's that we are trying to handle so many extra things, so many more things than we use. daily or that we will ever use it in the future, so today I just want to tell you that I am trying to manage too many things and I know that the reason we keep it is be

cause

we hope to use it one day, what if I need it? in the future and what an idiot I will be if I get rid of it once in a while.

I might use it in the future, so today let's talk about how I can almost guarantee you 100, hands down, why you might order some. Of these things that you've been holding on to and never miss, there's actually a very predictable formula that we can use, so I want to talk about why we don't have time for this, why we keep it away, and how we can simplify and order extremely safely, so number one, why don't we have enough time for everything? I read the statistic that said how much extra time parents have in a day and do you know how many minutes the average mother has? a day how many extra minutes 17 minutes 17 minutes per day 17. and what's wild, I mean, that's for parents, right?

I know that many of our friends' children are away from home or do not have children. I don't think you have them. much more time than that, I think most of us, no matter what stage of life we ​​are in, we don't have as much time as we think we have, we think we have extra time and we don't like it. I don't really have extra time, so if I think I have time but I don't, why do I keep saving all this stuff? I think there are three main reasons, one be

cause

I think something is going to change in the future, it may not. have time now when the kids get a little older when they move out when I retire when I'm not taking care of this love anymore when I finish school when I get a different job we all think there will be a point Again, that's not illogical, that makes sense, so one we think there will be time in the future, two we store things because that's what other people do, that's exactly what we do, that's what we're taught to do, we buy containers, we store things. we keep it stored, we try to keep it organized and we remember that it's there, labeled and filed, so we save it because we think that's what we're supposed to do and then number three, why do we save it if we don't? have time because we don't want to waste if I buy something and donate it that is a waste and many of us were raised to believe that no matter what you don't waste anything again is another logical argument I have space in my basement I can save it to see if I will use it in the future so what I want to tell you today is that none of this is illogical, it all makes sense why we hold on to things that we are not Currently using here today, but the problem is that I think all of that is causing stress, It's causing anxiety, it's making us think there's something wrong with me that I can't keep everything organized and it's causing me to not enjoy my

house

or my time with my family because I spend all my time trying to organize and file it so that one day, when I have extra time I can use these things, so it's important to realize that this has a cost, it's actually costing us dearly to keep trying to keep all these things and manage them so that I don't have to risk getting rid of something that could use in the future, so we're stuck on this, okay, so what?

Am I supposed to do it right? I don't want to be stupid, but you're right, I can't handle all this stuff, so the formula we use is to use the past as a predictor of the future using the past. The facts are much more reliable than these hypothetical hopes. You know, when I had little kids, I didn't want to hear that I wouldn't have more time in the future. I wanted to think about days when I could sit by the pool and read a book. as they splash around in the water because they are now old enough to take care of themselves.

I wanted to think about having more time to garden and bake and try different recipes often for many of us as we move from season to season. I want to hope that there will be more time, there will be more free time, more time to dedicate ourselves to these things and to do the things that we have always wanted to do. I mean, that's the whole point of retirement, the right thing is to get to a point where we have time to do things, however, if we look at past patterns, they don't suggest that we're going to have more time in the future, so What step number one to know in a very logical way what we will use in the future is how much time do you have to dedicate to it now?

My mom loves to stamp rubber and even now she has a little more time because they are closer to retirement age, but she probably still only does it a couple of hours a week, a few hours a week and so that she I can look at that and say, "Okay, if this is how much time I spend each week, how many hours would it really take me to go through all the paper and ink pads and embellishments and everything I need?" If you have collected if you like to knit or crochet, how many hours of yarn do we have for the Quilters?

How many hours of material for any other type of craftsman? How many hours of craft materials do you have for

your

children? How many hours? number of toys that you have for your children and to look at them and say, okay, how many hours a week and then how long would it really take me to read all the books that I have? Many hours and that's assuming I don't have them. In the meantime, I'm not adding any more to the collections, so we look at how much time we currently have. Step number two is to look at those around us, so this is what I constantly hear from our empty nest friends or kids. you are already away from home or you are of retirement age you don't have time or you thought that retirement was a book in one way but something else comes along that takes up our time you are taking care of your grandchildren you are taking care of loved ones who have health problems, something else has come up very rarely from you, I hear wow, I have all the time I ever thought I would have to work on my hobbies or you have your own health challenges that sap your energy and it sucks.

I feel so sorry for you for any of us who say it's not like what I thought it would be. I got here and it's nothing like what I thought and I still have it all. of these stored things that sucks, but let's take a look again at our own schedule and those around us and is it really logical to assume that we're going to have a lot more time to devote to these things in the future and then number three? Logically we could plan next year, so again my mom makes rubber stamps and we were talking about this, she knows what holidays, what occasions she creates cards for each year, year after year.

I said mom, what if we just planned? the next year and then you saved the supplies that worked for those cards that you know you're going to use for Christmas or Thanksgiving and then if we did, do you think it would be safer or more predictable to be able to donate the rest? I know that this war with us has internally our desire to be responsible and not waste so many of ourselves that we have been very hard on ourselves because we look at all of this. things that we have acquired and we wonder why I did that look at all that money Joshua Becker will say look at those things that's where your money used to be, we know that and we feel this desire to be responsible with our resources and the things that we have, but we don't take take into account the toll that this is taking on us and so today what I want to tell you more than anything is that we could look at this in two different ways that we could become really We became depressed and we could feel guilty and full of shame about money what we spend My mom talks about going to stamping parties and you know, the other girls influenced me on what they were buying.

What the protester was selling. Why did I do it? buy those things right and then we could be really hard on ourselves and say why do I still have all the cookbooks why did I think I was going to scrapbook why did I think I was going to make a quilt for each kid why do we have all of them? These toys, why do I have all these books? We could get really depressed and say what was wrong with me because I acquired all these things or we could realize that you know, I had very good intentions when I acquired those things.

I honestly thought that when the kids were a little older I would have more time to craft, sew, and do those things. I honestly thought I'm realizing now, you know, I just had a birthday, I turned 40. I feel so wise now at my age and I'm realizing that I'm like oh oh, I'll never have more time next season, never when the children are already potty trained and then they can get in the car. themselves and then oh this and this and this and so I can say to myself you know what I had good intentions when I acquired these things there was a specific reason I bought them and I thought I would use them but I'm recognizing that I don't I don't have time to There is a cost to it and managing it, so the best thing I can do for myself right now is to stop trying to manage it all and organize it all and I could pass it on and share it with someone.

Who could use it? So my mom has so generously shared many of her things with an adult center where adults with different disabilities or special needs can come there during the day and how great that would be good for her. those things to bless someone else is no longer an inventory that she has to manage and it is not deteriorating in the meantime because that is also what is so horrible right when we acquired these things and I remember my sewing basket got wet in our basement . Me and me. I ended up throwing away so much material because I thought I wasn't going to wash it and iron it and all that, so I ended up throwing away all this material and you think it was a waste, like why?

Did I do that right and so we can very gently let ourselves off the hook and say you know what I didn't know I just didn't know I didn't know I didn't know I wouldn't have time for this and that's totally fine, it's totally fine because if we do that, if we get these things about our house, you will find a house that you will love, that will be so easy to manage that you will enjoy having such nice people this past weekend, well the last two weeks in our private tutoring group we have been doing like a fall reset at home and even challenged myself to go even further in the kitchen, like I've gone so much further than I ever would have if I'm not using it right now, it was donated, or it went into the extra bins in my kitchen in the basement.

Every single thing that's in our kitchen right now we're using now, so we celebrated our birthday over the weekend, which was a lot of fun. and thank you all for all the wishes you are so kind and encouraging you are like the wind in my sale okay so thank you for that we had a little birthday party at Diana's house and Tom's sisters and his family came. which was a lot of fun and we were very grateful and then on Sunday morning we weren't really sure what the plan was so they ended up coming back to our house and having breakfast.

Well, I had been baking before we left for the party and preparing food and all that, so we left the house in kind of a mess and on Sunday morning, Tom and I decided that we would let the kids sleep in and we would just put the house back together and he got back together so quickly and it was so funny because what he said was it seemed like a mess but he said it actually didn't take that long to get back together and I've been trying to tell you that for so long. a lot of time on the right, so we put the house back together, we made a simple breakfast and it was nice, it was easy to get the serving plates to take out just what we needed to cook the food and prepare them, and I just like to keep them.

I am very grateful for this. I'm so grateful we did the work to simplify our house because it works so well. Now it's easy to keep it clean. It is peaceful. It's fun to invite people even if it's something like that. last minute and I'm also very happy that we can model this for our children, that we don't have to have all these things to be happy and live a full life; in fact, it is verysad for me when these things we have I thought it would be so nice to have even more toys, more yarn and more books to read when those things become a burden, isn't it so annoying when the things that are nice and add to our lives when they start to become a burden?

And sometimes it's very hard to know where that line is, but if we're willing to slow down to let those things go, I think you'll find so much freedom and your house won't drive you

crazy

anymore and you'll like it no matter how big, small, old, new. is that you are really going to discover that you really love your house again you really like being a mother again you feel like a better wife you feel like a better friend you can prepare meals for the neighbor when he needs it it is just amazing to me how it affects all the different areas of our lives just by having our house streamlined and of course like I always say I really want that for you too so I'll link to a couple of other favorites too if you haven't already could you? do you mind subscribing um we're getting close to another issue of Milestone, it doesn't mean anything like the subscriber count means absolutely nothing um except it's fun to watch so if you haven't I would appreciate it but otherwise you're just here uh Seeing it and sharing it with your friends means a lot to us too, so I hate to even ask, so it's okay, I love you.

I hope you have a very good day and I will see you soon.