Nordstream-Leck, Preisbremsen, Bierflation: Was nun in der Energiekrise? | heute-show vom 30.09.2022

And finally, good news for all those who call for the opening of Nord Stream 2 in the demonstrations every Monday: the old Baltic Sea tube was opened, ladies and gentlemen, only explosively from the inside, Nord Streams 1 and 2 were destroyed in four places, but Please do this. Very important, please do not be prejudiced. There are still many unanswered questions about this case, for example which nation is behind this or how exactly the Russian combat divers did it. Yeah, that's all still open, what. a crime thriller, what exactly happened, no one knows that the submarine could have been in the game, there are even speculations on the Internet about dolphins, it actually works directly underwater firing torpedoes or drones, yes, what happened, there is obviously a hole in the line. maintenance robot would be abused the abuser would be abused yes a maintenance robot was abused there are no more questions it was the Catholic Church ladies and gentlemen there is evidence yes the Kremlin on the other hand says that we have to wait for the next investigations of course it would No Be surprised if at the end it says damage by marta again.

Yes, of course, you already know the dreaded Baltic marten underwater. I'm afraid Putin is sending us some kind of message here that things can break or you can. we have a nice new oil pipeline in Norway, let's hope nothing happens and, as you can imagine, the EU reacted directly with a harsh response and is already threatening sanctions against anyone, but whoever seems stupid or I mean, whoever goes to the prison actually has the In fact, who today has turned four Ukrainian regions into Russia with his pen, yes, with a signature. Basically like a mangy car thief who issues himself the vehicle registration document because then I assume the ownership documents for Moldova, the Baltics and Saxony.

He has been in his drawer for a long time, but it is just a theory, but don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, in the so-called energy war. Our federal government is now responding ruthlessly. For weeks, we have to say, we had the uncomfortable feeling that the. The traffic lights were still in place, so they always caused confusion, they introduced some kind of surcharge and then abolished them again at the last minute, but that's over, friends, because now comes the 200 billion euro gas price cap , the boss can hardly hide his pride I already said once on another occasion the measures we are taking are a pain, you can say that here it is a double butt, take Putin's double butt with hot sauce without onion, well, but one really short question By the way, why does The Chancellor report live from an aquarium, but he surely had his reasons, so ladies and gentlemen, there are still small details to open, for example, the lid works again, but well, everything can be found safely: Christian Lindner is now filling the aquarium. the so-called stabilization form with 200 billion, yes, and the good thing is that this money does not come from the budget at all, because then you have to part with your beloved debt brake, no, the money comes from somewhere else, shiny or whatever we take from the future and turn it into one Defensive screen against Putin waiting behind this defensive screen Tasks ahead behind the defensive screen we remain solidly behind the defensive screen behind the defensive screen behind this defensive screen behind this defensive screen behind defensive screen and behind this defensive screen behind this defensive screen behind the snake things are much worse, you can't see yes Udo Lindenberg ladies and gentlemen, I mean, each of us obviously likes defensive shields, but how about honest debts instead of creative accounting is just a suggestion but let's be thankful that the limit is now coming and the stupid petrol tax has been canceled for weeks, we argued about this tax and then the Finance Minister suddenly noticed something scandalous, the innovative discoveries of Christian Lindner masterglas who would Never have come to the conclusion that the gas tax makes gas prices even more expensive, as Christian Lindner masterglas said, then the results fall apart.

They would never have reached the conclusion. They knew that if another quantity is added to one quantity. more Yes, most experts say there is now no way to get around the gas price cap to avoid a wave of bankruptcies. It would be much better to pay those affected directly, but that is what the country unfortunately cannot achieve logistically. For some reason, and the problem with the large amount of debt has long been resolved. The debt clock will probably speed up soon, but to save electricity, it will also be temporarily turned off. See, that's exactly why I threw my. electronic scales to get electricity I hope they save, I really pray that with the double blow the silly alpha male duel between Messrs.

Harbeck and Lindner will finally end. Yes, I hope so, but I'm afraid not. It is wrong for citizens to save now. Very little energy because they are very happy with the new limit. Perhaps in recent times private households have consumed much more gas than in previous years. Why can't we suddenly do anything? ourselves for a long time Many of us are more hardened because we learned to consume heat instead of freezing. Fuel suppliers and heating installers, as well as automobile manufacturers, accelerated the process of effeminating our society. Yes, someone has to finally stop this process of effeminacy.

Heat shaming is the buzzword of the moment. Yes, anyone who turns up the heating now declares themselves selfish, although it is not the Germans who are constantly cold in September, let's say it openly, which is no longer allowed to be said. Today he is very cold when he is on tour and that is why he becomes Putin's assistant. Who exactly are the women? This joke was brought to you by the stupidest women's jokes. We hope the new super cover arrives soon. It will help our bakers, for example the middle class as a whole, as well as all municipal public services that are seriously threatened with bankruptcy, which in turn depend on water, waste disposal and public transport.

But ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately there is much more breaking news, yes, let's put someone on the tap in Germany, soon there will be no more beer, yes, that could happen, a dramatic event could happen and we will broadcast live to our reporter Dennis Knossalla in a Franconian family. brewery because the situation is serious Attention Oliver Hammer has entered the German beer market something is brewing in these copper vessels in which hard-working bacteria produce the world's tastiest burp base are empty, we may freeze in the winter but it is much worse, we will freeze in winter sober.

Can you explain to me how I should endure the traffic light policy sober, if I sniff glue, for example, but what exactly is the problem? Jana, what is the reason for the lack of carbon dioxide? Technical carbon dioxide is a waste product from fertilizer production and requires natural gas. At the same time, prices for hops, malt and malting barley are sky-high. the most disgusting words the German language has ever produced beer inflation but the 0.2 glass for now two euros two euros ten or even two euros 20 it hurts your wallet a lot 220 I will do it Pain threshold I would pay this price to socialize you yes you have it thinking about how much you drink at that moment now we are thinking about how much you drink and politics does nothing where it stays the traffic light task force beer power limit is all well and good, but when is the beer coaster finally coming? , it must be said that at the traffic light, of course, there are several works at the same time, everything is so sad here.

When you need it, prepare the first alcohol-free Schalsteiner brand non-carbonated Radler. from Schalsteine, but it is not surprising that Berlin does not intervene in the beer crisis with this participatory chancellor in charge tonight you can have a beer, well, there are still many things to do today, it will probably be nothing more than I'll think about it. Try not to indulge in that not without alcohol a beer that is not not without alcohol a phrase that does not make any sense Vladimir Putin specifically thought about how to meet the Germans gasan too We laugh about it, but also the beer tap, that hurts a lot.

What I do. I still don't understand the carbon dioxide thing, I really only need it for bottling, so that the beer has a longer shelf life, and at that point we Germans will fight back. , if we all stick together and simply drink our beer much faster, before it goes bad. He's practically lost in Moscow, yeah, forget about drinking through the rainforest, I say drinking against Putin, that sounds like a plan because it is, thanks. Much, it will be clear to you without a doubt, even if we now put a limit on the price of gas, of course, that does not change anything.

The gas shortage on the world market is exactly the reason why Olaf Scholz was on a big tour in the Middle. This, even in Saudi Arabia with Prince bin Salman, also the prince formally known as Eska Schoki zersäger, after that there was an agreement with the United Arab Emirates, which means that now, in our desperation, we buy up all the countries that they did not attack Ukraine, including Qatar, where an estimated 6,500 people died during the construction of the World Cup stadiums here announcement by the cup chancellor to the Cataris I wish Kata every success in his role as host of the first World Cup in the region and I wish the national football teams of Qatar and Germany a successful tournament, yes, the sheikh is looking at him, he is looking at you, you understand what Scholz is saying, a successful tournament if you put the letters in order a completely different way and you add some, the result is that human rights are respected, which Scholzer said yes, by the way.

He bagged us 137,000 cubic meters of liquefied gas, that amount arrived one morning via Nord Stream 1. True, but on the other hand, what should he do, what should he do, little animals? we also make gas and at least Olaf lived up to his reputation as climate chancellor and has planted a tree in the middle of the desert because you know a man has to do three things in life cumex meeting with bankers I forgot the meeting again and I planted a tree The only concrete thing the Chancellor brought back from the trip was Corona, unfortunately my humiliations like those on the trip are probably the just punishment for our years of dependence on Putin and for our hypocrisy when it comes to raw materials.

To put it this way, as a German, we have all become accustomed to the fact that everything that is dirty or poisonous must be extracted from the earth somewhere else. I'm just saying Franconia, yes, you heard it right, you heard it. true, fracking, this program today's program was always for fracking, please don't look for it on YouTube, damn Internet. Fracking is banned in our country, but something has definitely happened technologically. In recent years, he thinks outside the box and one of the smartest politicians. of our time these energy sources also include thinking about Germany, checking and doing whether fracking is possible in Germany.

Süder does not see the potential of fracking in Bavaria, but in northern Germany. It's really funny, I see the potential of fracking especially directly under Markus. At Söder Yes, we have relatively large shale gas deposits here, for example in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania or Frecklenburg-Western Pomerania. Experts estimate that Germany could be completely supplied with shale gas for 14 years in a row. 14 years, that is, ten years more than Olaf Scholz's chancellorship. In its latest report, a commission of experts appointed by the Bundestag sees only low risks for groundwater and also low risks in terms of earthquakes. The Commission has even coordinated their holidays. plans between them if the Bundestag suddenly needs advice on this issue, they could talk and respond but no one has contacted him yet, that's really the case people people people people people people people people say now Someone please call this man so he can finally go on vacation, that doesn't exist, well, according to polls he likes politics and 55 percent of Germans are still against fracking, yes, we prefer gas to be sent to us from the US .Send with freckerando or whatever As it is called, fracking can now be done without harmful chemicals, mainly with water and sand.

I say the process urgently needs a better image, now sustainable fracking almost entirely without chemicals. Our proven sand and water recipe is 100% plant-based and. Gluten-free, asks Hildegard von Bingen in the garden of the Ruppertsberg monastery, but it is only two meters deep. Only fracking releases stress in the soil and frees it from annoying gases and kills annoying voles. Lower Saxony, so if there is damage fromearthquakes, will also fall on Gerd's house. It is true that now I am not convinced. Fracking is a soft approach to mother nature. So, I mean, well, well, it's true. Fracking wouldn't help us in the short term, but you could shorten the approval process, we simply can't afford to have our own natural resources lying around anymore, let's take another example, lithium.

Lithium is needed, among other things, for electric car batteries. In the middle of the Upper Rhine, Graben is probably the largest lithium deposit in Europe, but only pilot drilling is carried out there because other citizen initiatives fear the earth movements when they occur. Houses in Groningen are falling apart because of our gas in Holland. Can we live with this really well? Yes, we can actually live with this very well, especially when it comes to raw materials. Germany acts like a supportive guy. he doesn't want to dirty his own bathroom and that's why he always tells the neighbor why Clean two bathrooms I wouldn't go in there now, buddy, by the way, the toilet paper will run out tomorrow, yeah, it's us, it's us.

The side walls are in demand, dear viewers, also in the brain, although, of course, one can humanly feel sorry for what the Green supporters are doing now, for example, going through everything purely emotionally, some central coal-fired power plants. Today's program lasts longer before suddenly more fracking occurs and the December 31 nuclear phase-out is canceled for the time being. The world situation is probably different, but it still influences the psyche of these people in idyllic Emsland, not far away. the Lingen nuclear power plant. The Jürgen Trittin psychiatric hospital is located here, my specialty is the treatment of green people who suffer from serious psychological problems due to the traffic light policy, and that is what happened with the extension of the deadline this week, which was now one in four , something is broken about that, my diagnosis of mental breakdown, yes, there you have it.

Those were already homeopathic globulins, of course, three seconds later Green's patients calmed down with the help of strong psychotropic drugs in confrontation therapy. They have to look at a photo of the Isa 2 nuclear power plant for hours. Little by little the clinic's inmates realize that their lives during all these years with the Greens have thrown away everything they believed in, suddenly it just isn't it. It is already true, the Germans do not want nuclear energy, we do not participate in the war, Robert Habeck is a good politician, everything is a lie, the other day I was on the side of the FDP and I am so close to him that it can be downloaded. in the membership application for lunch there are only genetically modified vegetables we have been panicking for years about genetic engineering in agriculture, even that was nonsense, of course, in special mindfulness exercises the Greens have to regain their inner peace, while which at the same time Anton Hofreiter was glib in Lanz about the pt91 heavy weapons compartment these are T-72s with barely any horsepower so can we please turn it off Toni, I'm getting totally aggressive with this nonsense, Tatjana, I understand you to a certain extent , but that's just realpolitik and deep down we are still pacifists, stupid, you need them back then, now all our love, hello guys, I am the creator of today, if you want more shitty memes and songs, subscribe to the channel now , what the hell is a meme creator?