Superwoman and Self Doubt | Janiyah Davis | TEDxPSU

Seven years ago I was given the opportunity to create a Ted Talk with the main question: What matters to you as a 14-year-old girl? The question was extremely difficult because I was in a strange space where everything mattered to me, so I tried to break down. aspects of my identity as a way to answer the question I used that to introduce my

self

as the girl who thrived on the kind of laughter she had with her friends that made her stomach hurt as the girl who believed so strongly and the strength and perseverance of her community despite witnessing the many failures of the systems around us like the girl who wanted nothing more than for everyone to get along without a hint of conflict or malice, now I'm happy to be here as the newly turned 21 year old woman who moved across the country alone at just 18 years old.

She began her graduate studies at age 20, shortly after being elected as the sole representative of 98,000 college students across the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania as the girl who still faces the group chat full of his friends. at the slightest inconvenience, just hearing one of them say that everything will be okay like the girl who honestly had a very difficult semester but is trying hard not to let it affect the way she thinks about her

self

, power and passion of young women. I've always cared so much that this hint of

doubt

in me increases my desire to prove myself to someone I'm still not quite sure of.

I managed to convince myself that if there were young women like Cleopatra Sagawea and Claudette Colvin who were making their voices heard as pregnant women of color, as women whose voices were constantly challenged as women ruling nations, not only could I be doing more, but I had that my toxic trait became

superwoman

syndrome. Superwoman syndrome is defined as a set of characteristics found in a woman who performs or attempts to perform all the duties associated with various full-time roles, such as salaryman, mother, housewife, wife at 16,

superwoman

, He said you grabbed my hand and dragged me to a hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, my entire spring. semester and my sophomore year of high school I had focused so much on my volleyball team that I was neglecting my own health as a way to be proud of having qualified for a national tournament as a way to be proud of being captain as a way to be proud After being released, my entire time in that hospital was spent floating in and out of consciousness waking up only to ask questions like how was the tournament and dad, do you think I have a lot of homework to do, my dad looked at me afterwards I did it somehow since Atlanta, from Dallas, Texas, to Atlanta, Georgia, in just under seven hours and I asked myself: who are you if not what do you do for other people?

As embarrassing as it may seem, I didn't know that, I'm still trying to figure it out. Then I started trying to define myself in terms of success as a Penn Stater. I wondered who you are if it's not what you do academically for your community. I would wonder who you are if not a shy or honorable scholar. we progress. I try to define mental success. I would wonder who you are if you are not healthy, rich, blessed and very rarely stressed and I think it is working or at least it seems that way lately. I have been asked many times.

Questions: How do you overcome the feeling of being the only person of your identity in the room? Can you help me get out of my head and get rid of that fear? That's why I've created all this talk and been part of this big production for I let everyone know that I don't know what's going on all the time, in fact I rarely do, but I try. Imposter syndrome is defined as the persistent inability to believe that success has been deserved or legitimately achieved as a result. of your own efforts or abilities, imposter syndrome as a feeling is sitting in the back room of the work auditorium with every speaker at this conference and wanting to hide in a corner because you feel like you're surrounded by people who are just a little bit cooler than you.

Who we are and postural syndrome as an experience is walking into your first class on the first day of your freshman year at Pennsylvania State University and being asked how you feel knowing that only 21 first-generation black college students graduate. . My answer to that question is. The same as I was then, first of all, I'm going to be one of that 29 percent, so that's fine, but if I'm not, that's fine, the reason behind that is success, it doesn't seem like something that comes to Penn State. I left. behind my parents jamie brown and shawn

davis

who left home at around the same age but for different purposes who spent years a little lost and confused and somehow managed to get the best kid ever to finn status.

I got to confront people. like Dr. Lynette Yarger, associate dean for diversity, equity and inclusion at Penn State's Dryer Honors College and professor of information sciences and technology who came to Penn State. I met with students like Deandre Malcolm, president of the Penn State Black Caucus and co-king of Jaylen Carr. For Penn State Homecoming in 2021, I was fortunate to have Alicia Wellington, my personal meteorologist, with the ability to go to literally any grad school of your choice and as incredible as I admit, I know I can't do all of that and I really don't want to do it, so what does that mean for me in terms of success?

As defined in my story, I can't or won't do all those things. I would say she emphasizes that I am the teacher. of my own destiny the captain of my own soul I am writing my story here at Penn State it is impossible to believe that you can do everything you want every morning I turn around I wake up I choose to be superwoman or jania sometimes daring sometimes I don't want to be either , but I recognize that my story and the narrative do not end until I decide to do so. My advice to everyone sitting here is to recognize that your story is not over until you are.

So as you grow, learn, discover who you are outside of what you do for other people, all I can ask is that you own it and let it be yours, thank you.