I Tortured My Friends with Impossible Would You Rather

FaceTime. - You guys aren't filming now, are you? - Yes, we are always filming. - Very good, Jonny, (incomprehensible) - We are working. - The apartment is yours. - No! - Hello, I'm Jonny. Then they asked me a really difficult question and I had to choose between the two of you or the entire cast of Mama Mia and Mother Teresa. I'm so sorry, but I chose you two to die. - And who are you? (everyone laughs) - Unfortunately, in this little game, I'm your worst nightmare. (everyone laughs) Thank you, and I'm really sorry. You look absolutely lovely. - Are you high now? (crew and Rhett laughing) - Surprisingly, no. - Hey, hey, I'm a real friend.

I could have said, hey, your friend told me to do this. - You have proven to be very valuable in the organization, Jonny. You will be rewarded handsomely. - With 52% of votes, congratulations Jonny, you won. - I don't feel well. This is like, I wish I was losing and not playing this game. You know what I mean? (train whistle) - A tram forces you to play football until you can successfully take on Travis Kelce in the open field. - Oh. - Or, - Yes. - You can pull the lever and exit right now by tweeting "Taylor Swift is in the middle." - Uh-oh, I don't like this one bit! (Zach laughing) I feel like I could have Travis Kelce in the open field right now. - Don't you have a broken back? - Yeah, that's it (Josh laughing) Yeah, remember the last time I was filming here and you said, Josh, can you gently bend over?

And I said, no, I can't physically? - Tell me about the fear and ramifications of tweeting "Taylor Swift is in the middle," which we don't believe. - Not Beautiful. She is so talented! (crew laughing) - Can I just say that I won't be alive if I do option one? I

would

die, so I don't think it's a tweet about Taylor Swift. Look, we're walking on eggshells with this Taylor Swift thing. I don't think so, I think Taylor Swift is cool and amazing, but I

would

tweet that Taylor Swift is in the middle if that meant, and don't take that clip of me saying Taylor Swift is in the middle and make a (censored) TikTok. , Well?

With that. Because I can see what's going to happen here. Taylor Swift is not average, she is very maximum. So (Zach and crew laugh) Don't do that. - Don't you use the Internet to earn a living? - Yes, but I also use being alive as a means of life. (train whistle) - Are you going to confront Travis or pull the lever and start tweeting? Alright Jonny, this is a hill to die on. Take out that phone. - Are you kidding? - I do. (crew laughing) Well, according to 81% of our audience, Jonny, you get the point. - Clear.

I mean, I was stunned. I can not believe it. - Your audience is also inner boys like me. - Uh-oh, you're going on vacation. You will go back in time and be able to join the insurrection! - Hey! - Jonny, where did you go? - I just want to disappear for a little while. - Don't worry, no one will ever know you were there. Or you can skip the trip, but everyone will think you were. - Oh, this is the easiest answer. - I think so. - Yes, you have to join the insurrection. (Zach and the team laugh) What do you mean? they all think.

If everyone really thinks you were there, that's the bad thing. - Think about the stories you would have to tell. - Oh my God, and I won't tell anyone. -If you remove that visual element from my presence there, then I don't think it's so profoundly horrible. - It seems quite simple, you have your answer. - Well, I don't like this anymore. I was hoping Jonny would choose the other one, but I don't like that we're both in the insurrection now. -If they cancel me, will they hire me? I'll do odd jobs, I'll need a job after this. - It's very difficult to make

friends

as an adult, you know? - Oh Lord.

No, do not do it. - I mean, they're turning pale. That? - Help himself. - That? Because? - And I mean, do it. Go for it. - What are we going to do, join a book club? - God forbid that a boy have hobbies. Are you going to follow one, attend the insurrection, or follow the second, like everyone thinks you did? (train whistle) Sorry, I got a note from the editor. Could we have them look at the camera and say their selection? - I wish I could travel back in time to attend the insurrection on January 6, 2021. - I choose to attend the insurrection on January 6, but I (laughing crew) was doing this. - Are you worried about yourself? - By the way, this is actually a new symbol of white power. - No no no no! (Zach and the team laugh) - That's a point for both of us. - He doesn't feel very well, Zach.

Thank you. - I'm glad I'm a Patreon member, because I need to watch this video a day early. (everyone laughs) (chorus singing) - Welcome to the third round:

impossible

. Your life is so interesting that you have been selected to star in your own "Truman Show." There will be a 24-hour live stream broadcast to Times Square, but the producers want to give you a sense of work-life balance, so they'll just show it to you every time you're in the bedroom; any bedroom. - Oh. - Or you can modify the contract to transmit every time you use the bathroom. - Oh my God, it's okay.

This is much better. Do you want some people to see you (censored) or shit? It's like, - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easy. - I don't care, at this point? - Both! Both! Both! - You saw all this. - Who cares, we were in the insurrection! Now, watch me shit. - I don't mind. Choose your poison. - I don't mind. Also, like, - I don't, - You don't have to do it in a bedroom, but it's a lot easier to poop in a bathroom. - I'm going to go ahead and amend this to say that any room you do bedroom things in becomes a bedroom. - I agree, I agree.

You can look at me (censored), it's okay. I don't want to be in the insurrection. It's not that interesting, I'll be honest. - Mine may be too interesting. I would like you to see me shit. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I want you to watch me shit! - Yeah! - And it's not even... it's not even like... - How interesting. - Oh, oh, choose your poison. In fact, I want you to see me shit. In fact, I have an announcement. I have something new to plug in. I have a new Onlyfans, okay? I have an Onlyfans. - He already turned his over, but yeah, - I'm sorry. -He was much more anxious for people to see him shit. - The public does not agree! - That? - Well. - How interesting is your shit? - 89%! - Unreal! - I thought it was a difficult question.

People were like, no, put me in the bedroom. Uh-oh, a car is going to tattoo the name of every person you've ever kissed on your face. - Well. - Or you can skip it by changing tracks and never kiss anyone again. - Oh! - Can I choose the font? - Yeah! ComicSans. - Comic Sans. Yes, okay. Yes. - I never want to be able to kiss again. - For both of us, how many names are we talking about? - I made this list about two weeks ago. I think I would look great with 37 tattoos on my face.

I think I could use it, we're just talking about kisses too. - Yes. - And does this include uncles and aunts? On the cheek! - Are you going to get the tattoos or do you pull the lever and no more kisses? - I understand. - Kissing is an intimate and fun act that means a lot to my life. - They have a tattoo, - And they have been, you know? - They have a tattoo artist here. - This is a hill to die on! - They have a tattoo artist here. (dramatic music) (character screaming) - We don't have to be here.

We don't have to be here, that's what I'm saying. What will they do, lock the doors? - We have here, from Inkbox. These are freehand tattoo markers. - How's my arm? - I would probably cross it in my chest. - It's OK, go ahead. - Well. Who is the best kisser? - Let's go with Stephen. - Way to go, Steven. - Hollis was my first kiss. - Keith, - Nick, of course. Nick, Keith, do it with Julia. - Oh, let's go get Julia. - Melissa, there are many, there were many. - Okay, let's call that for now. - That is cute. - Can I put a large Julia on my chest?

I don't even want the point. Yes, yes, right above the heart. Like pretty cursive writing. -I don't know, who has better handwriting that he wants to draw on Josh's pecs? - I mean, I don't know. - Take Jonny up there. Jonny is an artist, Jonny is an artist. -Julia? -Julia. J-U-L-I-A. Who is your Julia? The same Julia? - Maybe. - What do you think a cursive J looks like? (Zach and the team laugh) - Can I make a heart? - Yes, you couldn't make Julia anymore, so you might as well make a heart. Have you ever seen an alphabet in a different language that looks a little like our own, but isn't?

It's like that. - That's a point for both of us. - Wait, let's say I turn this around. How do you know I won't kiss anyone again? Cut my lips? (everyone laughs) (train whistle) - Story time! You come across a totally generic closet, inside which a whole fantastic world hides. Inside you meet the great witch and a horny goat man. The great witch lives in a great castle where she practices powerful magic that can do anything you can imagine. But for some reason, every time you unlock the power, you have to sing the following phrase: - ♪ Oopsie-doopsie, I shit my pants. ♪ ♪ I'm a little baby, now watch me dance. ♪-Meanwhile, the horny goat man has an unimaginable treasure that he wants to pass on to you.

But to get it, you will have to live with him in the corner of a tree. All day long he sings songs like,-♪ I'm a goat man, I am, ♪ ♪ And my house is so prickly, ♪ ♪ But more than a goat, ♪ ♪ I'm also very horny. ♪-Anyway, both the horny goat man and the great witch wish to take you as their protégé. What path do you take? You're going to: study with the witch for a year and poop your pants every time you do magic. Or you can pull the lever and live with the horny goat man who sings in a tree until he dies, to get rich. - Horny goat.

I don't want to shit my pants. (did I censor) a goat? (Zach and the team laugh) - We prefer to make love. - I didn't say anything about them (censored). - Do I just have to live with him? - Do you just have to listen to him tell stories about being horny with other people? Okay, have you ever lived with roommates? - Horny goat. Horny goat. - No, I'm shitting myself. Having incredible powers, would that be worse than just being incontinent and shitting your pants sometimes? No friend. (train whistle) - Jonny, you've made your decision and by an intense margin of 53 to 46%, our audience will poop their pants. - Man, finally! - Point Josh! - A victory for Josh! - Well, at the end of three rounds, congratulations Jonny, you are the best person. - Thank you. - Won!

And Josh, I'm so sorry. We can't promote his (censored). No one will ever know what it is. I wish you the best of luck. It's great that you wrote (censored): Today I will promote my humanity. Please don't give up on me. (everyone laughs) (funky dance music) - Do you want to tell us about the white space? - No, and you? (Zach laughing) We wrote it, I'm very proud of it. It's a lot of fun pictures and recipes, you know.