Every Episode From 8 Out of 10 Cats Season 03 | 8 Out of 10 Cats Full Episodes | Jimmy Carr

tonight 8 out of 10 Jacks will come home David the treatment of The Apprentice Ruth Badger and there Captain John Lock and facing them tonight sweet SED oica Johnson naughty but nice are Alan Carr and his Captain Dave pointy now here's your host Jimmy auto hello and welcome to 8 out of 10

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a program about opinion polls surveys and statistics did you know that for example research says that 65% of men are happy to have sex on a first date happy that we high-fived hands with strangers on the night bus the richest man in the world the sultan of brunai has 257 bathrooms in his personal palace it must be all that foreign food and the smell of a human footprint is so strong that even humans can follow it although to be fair can see it is a footprint let's start what Are you talking about that's the name of our first round?

We've teamed up with a leading polling organization and they've asked the British Nation what stories they've been discussing this week. Our job as a panelist is to guess the five best stories from the British public. popular talking points Sean David Ruth Badger What has the nation been talking about this week? I think they've partly been talking about Big Brother, which just aired, isn't that something I think is interesting about this year? I found this guy who has Tourette syndrome and it's going to be very interesting to see what happens in that moment where Deina says you're live on Channel 4, please don't swear because he's going to explode. a little bit and they look like I don't know if I'm wrong, I might be wrong, but they look incredibly thick, yeah, they said, I mean, it's like they could have gone to Argos with a net and just thrown it over 12 people called.

They come in and they actually go through a screening process, right? What is the selection? Pro. It's just someone saying: are you stupid? No, you're really stupid. I think it's if you have boobs or like boobs. That woman's name is Lee and she passed by. 35,000 on her breasts 30 mm look, have you seen them? They're grotesque, it looks like she's done it on Loose Change, that's another one, no, there's another £5 here. Where is this Kit Kat thing happening right now? Have you seen that? you can if you eat a Kit Kat there's a golden ticket and you have to go to the Big Brother house oh G and Bron taking the rain for Tony I would have a kit k find out what have a kit can you sympathize with your ex because I?

I think I caught him watching Big Brother nice nice you know good, you put it on in a minute you'll be fine, we should take a look and see what big brother is one of the five things most talked about this week yeah, yes, 57% of you have been talking about the return of Big Brother. One of the housemates, imagine, is a former Miss Wales. She won him by wearing a shearling coat that went down her legs, but she moved on with Dave Alan or whatever. The nation has been talking this week, well, they've published that thing about Nottingham being the most dangerous place to live in England.

Well, they think it was Nottingham, someone was assaulted in front of the sign, but it's just ridiculous because they said like Nottingham. the most forgotten crime and if you live in Leicester you are more likely to be sexually assaulted now I have seen the people of Leicester and if I was sexually assaulted I would probably move to Nottingham and hope I get shot in the South End. I haven't been to the South End, but that's the safest thing, right? And I think it's eics. I'm thinking it's

full

of criminals because obviously these criminals are travelling, aren't they to Nottingham, bang bang, then back to South End and then when?

When the police arrive, it's like that scene with Bugsy alone. All the tables turn. Hey, what crime do you know, Alan, I can tell you he's not in our top five. This is the story that a new study has shown that Nottingham is the most crime-ridden place. in the country you know what Nottingham needs a sheriff okay Sean David and Ruth why else has the nation been talking this week? Well, there's a big debate about whether the NHS should fund alternative therapies, crystals and healing massages or something, I don't know. what do they do I don't know what that is reflexology reflexology and things like that someone has the option of having something that can improve you or that is going to cure you completely which one would you choose well, I think the question is if it is alternative therapy and they do it for you you should be able to pay them with alternative money, but yeah, all I know is that if I have an accident, I want to hear a siren, not bells.

I want to go to a hospital, not wear a bleeding wig. I mean a lot of it is garbage, look at that aromatherapy, it's rubbing, you smell something, it makes you feel better now my brother does that, but he does it with glue, reflexology and I'm great, I got pregnant through reflexology, oh that was. This should be brought to your attention when I was growing up, you know, I mean, you know this was all alternative therapy in our house, basically, I'm that age, although you know you go to your mom and tell her I'm not feeling very well, he said. .

I know what you want, you just want to put it in a bag and shake it, right? Laughter was the best medicine my father always used to tell me, that's why when he was six years old, yly he died with dip theor girl, breathe, touch, touch, who. Donut Donut Poo may have some antibiotics, I know you brought him, raised him in a cart, too, um, well, let's take a look and see if alternative medicine is in the top five talking points this week, yeah, okay , Dave team, what else do you have? The nation will be talking this week, Beckham's party, yes, probably, he was going to have a flyover.

This was the interesting thing, right? I was going to have a Spitfire, a Hurricane and a Lancaster bomber flying over the party and uh, and then they took back what they said was a bit insensitive before the World Cup and all that stuff, but I think it's a missed opportunity, that's it. that a tent with David BL inside, Gordon Ramsey P, made the Osborns a bomber passing over a single bomb. One phone call, that's all I was excited about the planes coming because I was hoping one would have a meal pass for the L. This auction, right?

Dubai Apartments, diamond-encrusted watches, all that, but there's no meat raffle. Part of that is. Yes, we Rooney bid £150,000, isn't that right for a weekend with P? Did he take over his apartment? Yes, I said, it's him, it's him, if you're going to chat with him at the buffet. I thought Puff Daddy must have done it. I actually saw Wayne Rooney. I thought, God, imagine him crashing into my house for two days hitting V's house. I'm going to have Shrek at my house party. You know, the doors don't lift the lid. Where do you spill the beans on the cover of it?

The rumor is that Wayne R.'s injuries are progressing incredibly well, but people forget, you know he's like 90% cute, forget it, I'll tell you what I found interesting. Posh and Beck have organized this party for the World Cup and there you have our hopeful dance and

every

one says no, because he is the one I hope to go and win the world cup and it was Okie Ki too, yes, he saved it for the bite on his left leg, the thing is, you say that, but apparently you know he's been in this oxygen tent, but you haven't.

I like it because he leaves you feeling very lucid and clear-headed, so all the tents are

full

of oxygen, aren't they all tents? Yes, when I go camping, I don't go in a hermetically sealed vacuum. No, I left the flaps open, it had a little air in it, that's what it was. He just went on vacation. Well, let's take a look and see if Beckham's workout party is one of the most talked about things this week. Yes it was. 47% of you have been talking about the Beckham star who studied the World Cup party. Wayne Rooney was seen dancing despite breaking his fourth goal tassel.

If you're looking at Wayne, the fourth metat tarle is the one next to the toe that didn't have roast meat on it. Well, two more to ring the doorbells has to be a home office thing, right? I mean, there have been so many things going wrong and, because Home Secretaries never like it when they don't admit it's their problem, they keep blaming the Home Secretary. Before they do well, that's what happens when you let David Blun do the presentation, you have to talk about immigration. The Minister said that he did not know how many illegal immigrants there are in the country.

She said: I have no idea. Well, obviously, them. You are illegal, yes, no one knows how you are going to find out. You can just walk into the room and leave. Would all illegal immigrants stop there? There are none here. Well, let's take a look and see if the series of front office blunders are one of this week's top five talking points ideas oh yes, in fact, yes, this week's number one talking point has been a series of mistakes made in the Home Office, the new Home Secretary, John Reed, has launched a five-week knife amnesty, my advice is not to do it. hand it over like this, okay, one more for the guests, fingers on the bells we saw, I think it might be the Eurovision song contest because now it's not really political, it just doesn't mean anything, they just vote for each other, didn't you see ? band that won I have a Ste of Lordy see below their mass are the orans I was I wasn't even watching Eurovision I was in FL cello and I clicked on it and I thought Leah's family from Big Brother had a caraoke machine What Dave said about the political thing that Terry Wogan was saying is that he is saying that all the Balkan states vote among themselves and that

every

thing is political, but I don't understand, are you really saying right that if Serbia invades, they are about to invade Croatia? again and their armies are concentrated on the borders someone is going to go oh wait a minute they gave boo bang a bing bong 12 points lay down your arms oh we gave turkey two points but they gave us bird flu so do you know what I want I mean, it's like those guys who wear, wear, say they wear masks and they will be because a lot of people have worn masks and had a lot of success like Kiss and Slipknot and Mick Huel also had a fat suit. but i thought maybe they didn't wear masks they ended up maybe they left a sauner full let's take a look and see if the eurovision song contest was up there yes it was the eurovision song contest reaches a potential audience of a billion people but an actual audience of 28 gay guys, all dressed as different countries, is fabulous.

Well, at the end of that round I can tell you that David and Ruth have two points. Dave Ora and Allen have three points. The next round is called the post with a hole. I've looked at hundreds of past and present surveys from around the world and discovered some fascinating data. Unfortunately, each statistic is missing a notable fact, so it's up to the panelist to fill in the gaps. Here is his first question. 72% of women. everyday decisions about what alcohol always works for me you've made great decisions yes women base their everyday decisions on whatever comes to mind come on Ruth how you made your decisions the mood of the day you were in good mood when you came up with that murder mystery theme because it's something women do in their sleep.

Dreams. Yes, 72% of women base their daily decisions on their dreams. Well, here's the next one. 90% of Britons say the High Street is overrun for what it is. those people you are walking you feel very good sorry you have had an accident and you say that I don't always look like that and all the people are marked D Char is like a cunt thousands of them why do they give them a subsidy for heating they never come in he is a dog and a coffee grower Starbucks is related to retail it's boots I love boots I always say boots I say boot well I say you write it this big I'll say how big is this boot look you have customers say you know say make it smaller , I'll say it smaller, we go with chain, right, okay, 75% of duck hunters say that duck hunting is something they have to say very carefully, it's chasing with a gun, what do you think about that? through the mountains and then the police are there, what do you say?

I was duck hunting. It's very easy to hunt ducks in this country because if you think most of them eat bread, don't they? So everyone is very constipated. duck in my local park, honestly, it's like a Space Hopper, it's a bit like that and it's just more, it can't get to duck island, you know, they live in the middle of the pond they live on, duck island ducks, is that it? lives on Duck Island all ducks a fairy tale no, every park has a pond, right? and there is an island in the middle where all the ducks live and humans are not allowed to enter, we give it to the ducks. around 1826 the ducks have their own laws, they can hang ducks there and whatever they want.

Have you ever seen Duck Island very well? It's disgusting what happens there. They are like animals, yes, but many ducks are heavy. constipated that's not exactly what I have in the car it's really about how the ducks can feel oh it's painless it's not cruel I'll give you that's pretty close yes yes 75% of duck hunters say the duck hunting is not stressfulNo, they lost, but they played well and also two teams can play and draw here and people can still be happy about that in the United States, there are only two teams that didn't win, so I'm just learning more about the culture and what that they see is good enough for victory or close enough.

I'm looking forward to it being one of the top five, let's see if it's up there, yeah. Of course, it's the most talked about thing this week, the big news is that Wayne Rooney is in good shape, no, he's got a head like a potato, okay, Sean Lock, what else is the nation talking about?, murdered, they're fine the L us. I have Al Zakari and he is an evil man and he is doing well, yes he had been, he had been a definitive villain in a Dickens novel, where did the evil begin? Did he like to have a push B when he was younger and say you can't have it?

Let's see, Manet, they killed him in a safe house. I don't believe it. The walls are visible there, but on the ceiling, the big toe like that, isn't it okay? Let's see if he's there. Yes, this is the story of Iraq's most wanted terrorist. Abu Musab Alazawi has been killed in an operation conducted by the US. The Alawites launched a terrorist group with $200,000 given to them by Bin Laden, which was an amazing

episode

of Dragon's Den, okay, one more thing to note, but I think it's Heather. Mills McCartney's divorce has been all over the papers and it turns out that she has been doing some porn when she was younger.

She is not porn. It's a sex manual. Didn't Paul McCartney know? Didn't he know it well? Clearly he didn't know, but I mean, surely he would have known that you would know. If you wouldn't know CU, you keep getting phone calls from dominoes saying, have you seen our pizza delivery? Bo, we sent it two weeks ago, she wasn't doing that, although no, she wasn't doing that, she was just greased up, you know? with a German, the song described the images as shocking, scandalous and disgusting and printed them. I just thought it was quite hypocritical of the Sun News.

Can I make a very good point? They are absolute. I tell you what Peter. They are absolute limits, those CHS, can I add something that she had a Nickas, she didn't? I haven't seen a photo of her cake. Do you have her cake like no one has seen how since Newcast cake she has a cake? Johnny is suddenly interested. she'll break your heart Johnny so it's like go porn porn porn ah ah ah and then on page three they have a bird with tits out, how do they realize she's so bad and then it's PR? 'cause she's doing sexy news soon, so tomorrow they'll have a page three, they'll have a page three, girl, I think it's great, they've killed Alaz, I think it'll completely bring stability to the entire Middle East, well, if so .

I approached you and learned that a woman with one leg would make 50 million you wouldn't just sit there teasing yourself you'd be buying flowers and champagne I'm not going to make fun of it I hope she comes I'll call hello you don't know me but I've read a lot about you . I meet some kind of stalker and I like your ex's music. You bring money with Tom, man, and we'll take a dip in my. big tub means you'll basically have to bathe sitting on my head but I'll use a straw and keep spitting water on you oh call me good it's one of the big stories of the week it's a shame McCartney are splitting up because they were so well adjusted .

Heather is in many ways like a beetle in the sense that she had her leg ripped off and she moved on, so at the end of that round I can tell you that Johnny and Peter have two Dave Jane points. and we have three points, the next round is called the pole with a hole. We've analyzed hundreds of past and present surveys from around the world and discovered some fascinating facts. Unfortunately, each statistic is missing a notable piece of information, so it's up to us. panelist to fill in the gaps here is your first question the average person spends two and a half years of their life what is it? he wasted two and a half years lost looking he wasted two and a half years of his life in arus looking in the catalog oh no that's easy, me thicker, I'm standing there while you know there's only three guys upstairs getting drunk

carr

ying a llama, come on F, it's two and a half years of your life under three, is having sex having sex, yes 2 and A2? years, yes, if you added up all the times, yes, I have about 15 minutes left, wait, he didn't say it right, but he did say it cooking, I said cooking, cooking, sorry, cooking, I have cooking, but I will do it.

I give you 26% of Bri to be before the wedding. Does she fly herself from Thailand? What do you think Peter is doing? He covers their tattoos with makeup or makes sure they have at least one fat bridesmaid, just that fat bridesmaid. has a purpose that has to do with how you organize the wedding planner correct answer wedding dave spiker oh brilliant yes 26% of brides hire a wedding planner before the wedding the good news for wedding planners is that Thanks to changes in the law they now marry themselves, so at the end of that round it's three points for Sean's team and five points for Dave's team.

The next round is, believe it or not. In this round I will give the panelists a simple statement, all you have to do is decide if you think it is true or false Shan Johnny and Peter let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic that was from the 1957b film The Brain from Planet arus its related statistic is the following: 72% of Americans believe that in a war with creatures from another planet the United States would win true or false Independence Day the United States won yes World War the United States won The Planet of the Apes America didn't win so I guess if those documentaries are anything to go by then two Three Rings you know my problem with Independence Day they won with a laptop yeah they managed to hack the alien computer and shoot down the spaceship.

I can't get my laptop to interact with the printer. Good luck finding a scar league for the ball. My problem with Star Wars. Worlds, there was no way to stop these aliens and suddenly they all catch colds and die, that's the only way to beat them, although isn't it like the triffids? They don't use conventional weapons, it's sea water and me. I think the way to beat the aliens is obviously not with normal weapons, it's when they bring down a Lely Big Buffet, right, they're dodgy shrimp muscles that have an open property. Put some chili in the tiasu.

I think it is true. I think it's scary, but it's true. I think I'm sorry, pet, can I clarify? The aliens aren't coming, they're not on their way, it's just a story, it's like, oh look, it looks like one of them, another one of them, real toys. points out how dumb Americans are, which I have no problem with 72% of Americans believing they are winning a war against an alien race. What it doesn't say is that 72% of Britons believe a draw would be enough. Joh, what do you think is true or false? What you're saying is that they're thick Americans, yeah, they're thick as a pig, um, I hate being put in a position to defend America, um, so I won't do it, so you're saying that's true, right?

Sure, yes, I think it's true, well, I can tell you that, in fact, it's false. Oh, only 16% of Americans think they would win in a war with creatures from another planet. Okay, Dave, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic. super super super wow, hey, that new Superman movie looks amazing, doesn't it? Those were the St Love dancers, here's your related statistic. 55% of women say they have asked a man to dance to try to figure out whether to be good in bed true or false I think it is also false two words Michael flat he can dance he would be in bed right?

Why does he never use his arms? Here, what do you think is true? Have you ever considered someone to be a good dancer? No, but I think I actually think that if they're good dancers they can move their hips. Yes, I believe it, oh J. He is so terribly scared. Why do you pull? your first one, although you dance more like you, they have hung you from some railings, yes I do ladies, it's Virgil from Thunderbirds at a party relaxing after they saved the world. I sit down and I'm brilliant and the second I get up, people.

I think you're allergic to music, aren't you? You're so bad that he's allergic to music, right? What are you going to do? I think it is true. Well, men can't dance generally speaking and women are judges. Of men anyway so well I can tell you the answer is true, yes, 55% of women have asked a man to dance to try to determine if he is good in bed to be fair. Dancing is a good indicator. I tend to dance for about 10 seconds and then cry a little, so at the end of that round I can tell you that it's three points for Sea's team and six points for Dave's team and the winner is the name of our final round which I'm going to give. teams a series of opinion polls and it's up to them to come in and tell me who or what they think came first here's first Britain's best crisps crisps the biggest scam in history if you compare the actual weight ratio to the actual cost potato you get in a bag of chris's is embarrassing and in an average bag of chris's there isn't even a quarter of a potato in there but they managed to charge over 45 to 50 for a bag of them it's an absolute shame it's a scandal.

It's been happening for years it has to stop I don't care when they make a little effort they turn them into shapes like the Munch monster it's fair that you get your way you've put in a little work they charge me a little more but you sliced ​​a potato the you fried it you put it in a bag it should cost about threepence it's a nicer surprise it's a big scam isn't it? It's not a surprise it's a plastic toy you know what L A Mouse's head will be That would be a surprise, then it would be called Kinder Shock.

The best thing are those phone lines that when you call tell you that you have won a vacation and no, they are the ones they have given you. Sex, oh, you're both right, oh, but you got it first. You get the point where Britain stopped at a premium rate phone. Lin. The most embarrassing thing that can happen to a man on a night out being with you and your friend in your apartment just kicking. It feels like you just eat some aspirin, then 300 cops kick in the door and then shoot your friend and then you feel bad because your neighbor down the street is acting out and throwing things at people, but they gave him a piece of chicken.

I was in a restaurant one time and I was alone and there were two women who kept looking at me, kept looking and after a while, about four or five times, I said hello about it and they said, H and then me. I looked around and realized there was a menu board above my head, oh it's not me, horrible, is it having your flies on? Don yes, correct answer, yes, according to this survey, the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a man on a night out is leaving his flies unbuttoned. On the plus side, you do have your own seat on the bus though, don't you Johnny?

Well, that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which means the final scores are: Shan, Johnny and Peter have four points, but Dave Jane and Re are the winners with eight points thanks to all of our panelists, our wonderful studio audience, and all of you for watching at home. That's all from us. See you next week. Good night tonight in eight out of 10

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. for Julian Clary Afternoon Delight it's Edith Bowman and her Captain John unlocked and in front of them tonight making the return of a Rover, it's Sally Lindsay Jordy boy Dave John and her Captain Dave spiky now here's your host Jimmy car hello and welcome to 8 of 10 C to show about opinion polls and statistics, did you know that, for example, research says that you have a 1 in 3.5 million chance of dying from a snake bite and that number increases significantly if you are allergic to the cider?

A snail can travel on an uncut razor blade. in itself or to put it another way sometimes scientists get bored the average man uses 38 sheets of toilet paper every day the average woman uses almost twice as much which is fair enough women have two butts let's start what are you talking about that's the name of In our first round we have teamed up with the leading polling organization and they have asked the British Nation what stories they have been discussing this week. Our job as a panelist is to guess the five most popular talking points among the British public.

Team Dave, what are the The nation has been talking about this week. I imagine the World Cup will stay in Echo. You know what I mean? It's been going on for a week. There are no real surprises about Sven's tactics. He is a clone. Is he? The man is a clone. I mean, he's fine, we launched. No, we're through to the last 16, but that makes you wonder if we're playing Sweden next, so I'll probably have Rooney and a goal or laugh up front. I don't know, I'm just guessing, but keep in mind that the Germans have been trying to postpone.

Don't you think you haveAll that scum and stuff with Beck's family? Yes, yes, yes, when they said her mother was a fat, gun-toting 50-year-old sangria-drinking country girl, so she'd be on Rooney Street too. They called Beckham's kids midgets, which is just stupid kids when, until they grow up, they call them midgets, it's just that calling kids midgets is a bit like calling a baby, whoa, whoa, baby, oh, Bal , bastard, FY, did you see this young man?, they slandered. from his family whose family well, David Beckham's family has been in the German press they have criticized his family they have said that they are not very nice it is horrible oh oh well no, I'm a Sean anyway I went to the In fact, I went to the World Cup, I went last weekend, England fans are way behind, there were some Polish fans arrested for doing sea kyes because that's illegal in Germany, you can't do a sea KY and you can get two weeks in jail by goose-stepping, which isn't a problem for most England fans because they duck-walk, the Z-bend thing, you get a taxi while you're there, yeah, two arms said about England.

Brazil only won one to zero, the favors 5 to 1. Please, Ronaldo was removed. Did you see that Ronaldo was removed because he was too fat? It's huge and the coach said, "This is the first step, now we have six more steps and I thought, well, he won't go up them." you're going to need a Cher LIF, bring it on well, let's take a look and see if the world cup is one of the five most talked about things this week, oh yes of course it is. I am surprised that Sven Goran Ericson has raised the sex fanatic for English players despite the desperate favor of Colleen mclin a German newspaper attacked David Beckham's family this week the newspaper called his sister a pig said his mother had the smile of a farmer and that his father was nothing more than a kitchen fitter Beckham was furious he said he also makes Shin baths, which should be NationSpeaking of this week, big brother, are you a fan?

I see it, yes, I am fascinated. They've been in for five weeks, which is more than you get for murder these days, who's your favorite? Oh no, more or less. I love to hate people, so Grace right now I think what it is is that she has no idea how unbearable she is. She thinks that she really is a good person and, in fact, she is huge. I wish there was a place where we could all fall. And they throw you out, right? Only we could give our opinion, we want them to have sexual relations, that's what happens, they put them in the house and they want them to have sexual relations, and then they confuse it, they confuse it.

Yes, they are doing it, it's four games, aren't you doing four? Yes, that's basically how I do it. That woman, hello, hello, I'm Jimmy Car, Jimmy Car, this week they came in with a golden ticket, the Kit Kat thing. Yes, they could shoot the winner through the roof of the Big Brother house in a glass elevator like Charlie in the CH lands on a spike. I think what they should do is turn off the cameras and not tell them that yes, yes, they are out. for another 8 weeks and everyone who is expelled leaves and there is not even a mini taxi driver there.

The problem with that is that it's such a good idea. I would like to see it on television. Sally, you're watching Big Brother, right? I've made an absolute Pat not to see it, well, I'm the same with Cory. I like celebrities. Yeah, no, it's a little tragic, but that's what I like. Would you ever do it as a celebrity, Big Brother? No, I wouldn't like to sleep in some kind of bedroom with who knows who next to you. Whether you could handle four fingers or not is anyone's guess. I feel like a play on words violates me.

Well, is it one of the top five topics of conversation? Let's take a look. Yes, big brother is the third most talked about topic this week when Grace leaves the house. Most are looking forward to a drink, that shouldn't be a problem, what else is the nation talking about? Is it the Queen's birthday? God bless her, her 18-year-old daughter, that's it. Yes, CU. I saw she was driving through Windsor and on a roundabout. She had big sheets, happy 8, she doesn't have two brothers, which explains why she looks so old. I'd love for her to get to be 80 and put on leather, show off her ass or Sumer to see her holding the bar up and down in zambuka shots all she'll probably do is say thank you very much have a cup of tea go out in the back and strangle a fee that's it what she likes I love that photo of her taking down a pheasant the way she looks around makes her not look apparently her excuse for it she said he put her misery out I thought they were very happy living in the woods Philip says he's going out on the back, chalking a pheasant means something completely different Sean, do you have any birthday messages? for the queen I think it is totally unnecessary you know why we need a queen to get from her what we need a queen people bees have a queen for God's sake we don't need a queen we are much more sophisticated than bees and anyway they come to fuck his queen, we don't have any near us, you sent a birthday message earlier, let's take a look and see if it's one of the biggest stories of the week.

Yes, the queen is now 80 years old to celebrate the queen's birthday. The Royal Male has issued a commemorative stamp, a stamp with the Queen's head, where do they get her ideas from? Sean, your team, what else are you guys talking about about the exact actor style contest for the Conservative mayoral candidate that David Cameron is another of yours? attention-grabbing scams, the entire public can vote for whoever the Tory candidate is, take on K Livingstone, he's hilariously saying it's not an advertisement, plus what he's basically saying is that we're so useless that We don't have anyone to do it. he beat Ken, so any madman who likes it sits there combing his hair with a shoe, you can run, you can run in London, if he feels like it.

He was on our show, in fact he came to our radio show about a month ago and the most interesting thing. What we discovered about him was the fact that if he had to fuck one of the girls, it would be Sher Tweedy. Well, that was a probing interview, right? Yes, in fact, you are making it sound bad, but you asked him that question. yeah, maybe he just asked questions about maybe he just offered it hey, how are you, honey? Try it. I think about The X Factor, they have auditions, right? So I like the idea of ​​a toothless granny singing Danny Danny Boy while she hits a layup, you could go, yeah we want her to run London, boy, all the way to SC Livingston, she sounds good, okay, eh, well , that's your answer, let's take a look if it's one of the five most talked about things this week. means it's okay one more to ring the bells what else has the nation been talking about this week they've been talking about how well, the front page of all the newspapers I've seen is the judges' soft sentence, the son's appointment has been naming and shaming judges and they're showing pictures of judges, which I don't think is going to work because, you know, since they all have 17th century wigs, they're not going to have much trouble in the In fact, the only time they go to be recognized is if you confront them in court and you are unlikely to go.

You're that soft judge who gives all those really lenient sentences and I think you're doing a great job. 53 people since 2000 have been released, they served like five four five six six years and were sentenced to life in prison, it's like the life of what hamster what? we are sentencing people in dog years the problem is if nothing means what it says if life doesn't mean life and six years doesn't mean six years you could also hang again but it doesn't mean hanging it just means you have to wear a scarf for a time what happens to everyone? the crazy judges all the crazy judges just make like 30 years they send them down it hasn't started they haven't even started yet you're honor 10 years shut up it's 50 years who wants six crazy judges wow let's look and see if the judges are one of the most talked about things Yes, yes, that's 200 judges who have been named and shamed for being too lenient.

Top of the list was Louie Walsh for allowing Lucy Benjamin to win the famous X Factor at the end of that round, Julian and Edith have three points. Dave Sally and Dave have two points, the next round is called the pole with a hole. We have analyzed hundreds of past and present studies from around the world and on Earth. Some fascinating data, unfortunately each statistic is missing a piece of notable information, so it's up to our panelists to fill in the gaps like Julian and Edith. 32% of Brits think Pak Docky needs what they think he needs to go to jail because he is in court every damn week and walks away.

He usually ends up in a hospital without insurance. He knows, tax free car, drug addict, phone in one hand, walks away using his feet, says, what is he like?, maybe he needs a new spoon. The amazing thing is that he commits all these crimes and never gets locked up. He's going to see that damn lenient judge, why? He gets arrested a lot every time he buys drugs, he gets arrested, so I think he needs a new deal in the ER, one that doesn't call the police as soon as he leaves the house. Yes, he just sold it to her. you like her music H I like her I used to like her music I don't like what she's done recently if you're looking she's on the radio good luck selling some records 32% of Brits think Pete Joy needs something new, a proper toilet , thanks yes 32% of Brits think Pete Joery needs a good bath and then that bathroom needs a good clean.

Dave Sally and Dave 90% of doormen say that the purpose of their job is mainly to open and close doors or chat. I said yes? You know, look, you're a great Londoner. 10% say part of their job is to keep them out of prison. The other 10% did not understand the question. Sally, what are you doing? Do you like it? No, not very well, there's a D. in our local pub and one day I went to lunch in trainers and I went to get something from my car, he came back and he let me in because it was seven and I was allowed trainers and you were a celebrity and I was in I mean the common people.

I imagine that would happen to a celebrity. I'll grant you that yes, 90% of Dorman thinks the goal of their job is to provide security, the other 10% presumably thinks they're modeling bomber jackets. At the end of that round it's five points for Shan's team and four points for Dave's team. The next round is, believe it or not. I'll give the panelist a simple statement, all they have to do is decide if they think it's true or false, Dave. Sally and Dave, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic. I like being older because I can do what I want when I want.

Movies are cheaper. My husband is all mine. There is no competition at work anymore. In retrospect, I find that I spent a lot of time. I've spent a lot of time doing pointless things for people I didn't really like for organizations I didn't really believe in. I can't get pregnant anymore. Some very old people. Here is your related statistic. 31% of people over 65 believe that their age is bad for them. they have the right to behave badly is it true or false it sounds horrible but I think it's true I think the girl is like that I'm old I'm going to complain 31% of people over 65 think they live in 1944 anyway no They don't They know where and they drive that way too.

That's misbehaving last time they passed the test was on a Ser. Their Cur L Alam driving decals on the rear window. I lost a leg at Dun Cook and all that. They drive as if they are constantly looking for a parking spot. I have this woman who was 96 years old and walked with a wing, you know where they go on a plane in a stunt plane. When she landed, she had the face of a 16-year-old, all the wrinkles had gone down her back and had gathered on our nickers. I remember driving back from Blackpool once, right, you've lived your whole life and there was an old lady driving the wrong way on the hard shoulder and I stopped and said, are you okay?

Love is this way to Black Pole and I said, "No, everyone has to go that way and then on the other side, everyone goes that way and she just got

carr

ied away by what was there. story of our urban myth about a old lady falling on her husband coming back on the M65 and saying "be careful" I just got a report on the radio that there was a crazy bastard driving the wrong way on the M65 and he said what My bastard, there There's me, oh, it's funny in the north, isn't it? They always go shopping on Saturdays at dinner time.

They have the whole week to shut up. They're in a hurry on Saturdays at dinner time. in the queue with the ciboriums and you take bird's eye and you take how much is 175, give them here two. The thing is Dave. I can't understand why you keep using the word they get. % of those over 65 believe that their age gives them the right to behave badly true or false what do you think do you think I think they think it's true we all seem to agree on this do you think it's true well I can tell you that the answer is false just 3% of pensioners think that their age gives them the right to behave badly andthe three in question are foggy compo and CLE, okay Shan Julian and Edith, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate their statistic, there is a big shepherd almost to try to pass by our Seaside special van, I think it's really on fire now here se approaches the access there you're going to keep your fingers crossed and you're done, you're on the right track, you're still on fire and let's see if it's going to turn out well, we're all keeping our fingers crossed at this stage, it looks like not, there's still a lot under the hood , right at this very moment they are trying to get it out, yes, there it goes, they are trying, they are overturning.

It's still very much on fire I'm afraid and they are trying to get it out right now. Yes, the cock is, I think it's good there. Yes, it's definitely okay. I can see the cock moving in there, so everything seems fine. right, yeah, here he comes, all right, ladies and gentlemen, there's Dick Sheeper, gave him a good round of applause, well done, good round of applause, Dick Sheeper, you know, people talk about how Telly was no more like it used to be, yeah. It was a Saturday night, it was a show called Saturday Special, so the highlight of the show was him driving into a burning moving van, that was the end of the night, you get in and then you crawl out, okay? your related statistic 21. % of men admit to doing something life-threatening to impress a woman true or false I think it's false because I think it's older because I think men think that turning off the PlayStation puts their life in danger J. a man ever did something to impress you, uh, he came to my house driving a fat one that worked, what have I ever done?

Impressed women look at loose women. I think the best way for impressed women to carry a trunk, sell anything. You want no object needed, silver tongue, that glove, have it there, a voxal board, take it away, it's your 21% of men admit to doing something life-threatening to impress a woman, true or false. That's true, true, well, I can tell you that the answer is true. 21% of men have done something to put their life in danger to impress a woman. One time I was driving a girl home, I walked into traffic without properly checking her blind spot, man she was on. at the end of that round it's six points for sh seam and four points for Dy and the winner is the name of our final round.

I'm going to give the teams a series of surveys and opinion polls. It's up to them to call and tell me who or what they think came first. This is the first one. The most endangered animal in the United Kingdom. a unicorn because I was thinking about the day I haven't seen one of them in a long time, what about a dragon dragon? I'm only saying that because a buddy of mine put an ad in the loot box advertising a dragon for laughs, right? and this knock on the phone. dragon is like a lizard thing he said no it's a proper dragon and all he said oh like one of those iguanas big iguana no no it's a big 20 foot dragon Oh you mean one of them one of those kimono dragons one of them big, the kimono dragons, no, it's appropriate when I thought, spit fire, that was all, oh, I better leave it, so are they the smurfs?

I've always worried about the long-term future of the Smurfs because there is only one Smurf, yes. but she is that the correct answer is no, it's not the Smurfs. I'm going to have to tell you the answer, it's the water ball. The water balls have a hard time reproducing because they can't pick them up while Bill Odie is watching the kids' favorite thing. about summer is that their knives shine in the sun is to fish for sticklebacks and then make a fat kid eat them stop crying eat them yes it's a correct answer yes no clearly no uh you're crazy I don't think there's anything better Reminds me of Summer than turning on a light in a barn and then standing back admiring my work from a safe distance while the farmer ran frantically with buckets of water.

It's a place you don't have to go, you don't have to go to school. The correct answer is children's favorite thing. about summer vacation no school surprisingly only 1% of kids said their favorite thing about summer was eating ice cream I guess once you've tried methadone goo janelli you can turn it off oh that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which means the final scores are Dave Sally and Dave have four points Sean Julian and Edith have eight points they are the winners thanks to our panelists, our wonderful studio audience and all of you for watching at home, that's all from us. tonight 8 out of 10 cats comedian and DJ Phil jupitz ay rules Germaine Greer and her Captain Shan lock in and confront them tonight funny girl Fiona Allen Angel of the North Jason Manford and her Captain Dave pointy now here's your host Jimmy car hello and welcome to 8 out of 10 cats a program about opinion polls, surveys and statistics did you know that for example the average person thinks that 49 is the age at which we stop being young Leah from Big Brother has a lot to do in Over the next 6 months unattractive people earn 133% less than beautiful people and that's based on a survey of supermodels and bridesmaids and 95% of the creatures on Earth are smaller than a chicken egg so when I think about it, I actually have a pretty big idea, let's get started, what are you talking about?

About, that's the name of our first round. We've teamed up with a leading polling organization and they've asked the British Nation what stories they've been discussing this week. Our job as a panelist is to guess the five most popular talking points of the British public. Dave's team, what have they been talking about, as expected. I'm going to the World Cup again. We are in the quarterfinals. Let's be one. I placed a bet for a few pounds. I bet it would be Beckham. I scored the only goal W Uno and very well done and all that uh then he was sick throughout the whole process and I wonder if it was like he ran out of celebrations.

Footballers have invented celebrations, so he did the baby thing. I did that. one, I've kissed the shirt and everything I've done, all that, I know what, oh, they hit even the corner flag, Wayne R is having a shit, that's my favorite aspect of the World Cup, ha been the appellant. Appearance of Frank Lampard's disappointed face as he continues to throw the ball wide and then Jason says. Any thoughts on the World Cup? I just think they've gone a little soft, to be honest, all this football there are so many fouls and free throws and all the time just jumping on my ankle, the other day there was a block for Garner who was out due to a dead leg , now that's not an injury, is it a dead leg?

That's a minor annoyance when I was 10, I had three deaths. legs in a day I still have to do physical education and walk home Watson triumphed again, although I know I do it every week, but another Ecuador brought a substitute, he has his list of facts and says oh go oh, he will bring Rodríguez oh uh, interestingly enough, this is the smallest man in the world cup. There has also been a small problem. Weren't there some England fans sent off? Finally there was some problem. Someone said the England fans behaved very well. There was a bit of a problem.

I saw it already. It comes because before the World Cup I saw near me that there was a practice field adapted for chairs. They were practicing while warming up for the World Cup. Right now I say that at the World Cup in Sweden there will be no end of a wide variety of furniture. to choose from what we're pulling hugar, okay well that's an integrated shelving system but I was actually amazed by the magazines and all the pictures of them and I think it's England that's playing so they have to keep doing Chic cuts through the crowd, she has a partner because they've all had a fight with Cher Tweedy and apparently they're in their own little gang, only two of them Billy aren't partners because Reon that all the other girlfriends and wives don't understand the pressures under the which are and I was thinking, well, what pressures well, she was in a band, she's in a band and the main audience is six years old, what's pressure, they jumped on the Go, weren't they?, yeah, yeah , yeah, what's going on? idea, yeah, yeah, and you also realize that Posh with the little kids is like, yeah, don't get the ice cream near me, hey, jine, any ideas about the football you've been following.

I must confess that I have been rooting for Australia, robbed, robbed, robbed. Well, it's only taken five generations and Australians finally know what it feels like to be robbed. Well, let's take a look and see if the world cup is one of the top five topics of conversation. I imagine it is with a bullet at number one, yes, England. They're still in the World Cup. There's been a lot of competition between the Wags or wives and girlfriends in a series of fantasies I've been having, right? Sean Jermaine and Phil, what has the nation been talking about this week?

My favorite story of the week is The Man Who Just Chose To Bulldoze His Way Out Of Trouble, It's Always The First Move, Right? Yes, he owed her some money. He used to have a car. They had a caravan site and they didn't pay the rent and sent it away. in a letter they said, "You know, you actually owe us £1,000 on something" and he went, I'll show you, 000 and came back with a digger and smashed up his house and all his cars, do you want to take a look and see? ? what was the damage, yes, yes, yes, now they see us that it is a photograph of terrible, terrible devastation, but for him, as a man who drives a heavy plant that is a bit like a CV or a business card, yes , the app is very calm, it even said it was driving. very calm well I like it when the police took him out he was leaving okay I got it now he didn't do it first but easy that was left but he didn't do it he didn't rent it too Didn't he rent him so he spent 450 pounds hiring him and they should have Did you know when they looked at the form they were going to post on?

He checked the Revenge box, the block probably said, "I'll pay me back." When you came back, you saw that on the news he said: "Oh, people think that no one was suspicious when they saw a builder at 7:00 in the morning. CL, they were there, let's take a look and see if the JCB man is one." of the five most talked about things yes, this is the story of a man who owed a landowner £1,000 and destroyed her house with a JCB instead of paying the debt. He was taken to the police station for questioning. : are you crazy?

Dave, what else has the nation been talking about? Prince Charles's tax bill. God bless him. He said Prince Charles was earning £270,000 a week, which is twice as much. David Beckham Those two people are not comparable. Do you know my mother is a nurse, she earns $15,000 a year, twice as much as the average clown. I was a little surprised that Camila only cost the taxpayer £2,000. That's a lot of hay, isn't it? If we win the World Cup and he's going to meet all the football fans and he's shaking, you know, shaking Wayne Rooney's hand and there's just a picture of them in the paper that says Donkey and Shrek, okay this wasn't one of the big stories of the week, but it was in the news sha Jermaine and Phil what else has the nation been talking about?

I think they've been talking about the guy gave $30 billion to Bill Gates another very rich man gave it to the Bill Gates Foundation yes it's the man's name Warren Buffett Warren Buffet is where he made his money he invented the buffet and he gets a percentage of every Buffet that ever held well, some would say it was bought, it was invented by llo smoggers Brad, yes, but it never bothered him. I like the idea. What kind of thank you did I expect because you give someone so much money do you expect a pretty big thank you don't you expect someone to go oh oh thank you I like that was oh greetings I'll leave you how long it took to put it in the writing of one of those orphans at a station on duty uses two pound coins he's not a real orphan obviously no he's not a real orphan but you know who they're going to say well that's your answer let's take a look and see if he's up there yeah.

Yes, the second richest man in the world, Warren Buffett, has donated 31 billion to charities. Bill Gates said he would use the money wisely before embarking on his mission to the Center of the Earth to discover a lost nation of cats. Well Sean's team, what else is there that the nation will be talking about this week, is it chocolates? The taxis have returned a lot of chocolate bars. CU said they had salmonella in them 250 million, yeah something like that doesn't matter, really a huge number once you go over 10, I just lose right? they get too excited about chocolate, they also say something that's pretty crazy, they're saying well, they don't have much cellular vanilla in them, there's only a little bit, it's not going to ruin your food, it's a dream diet, isn't it for Posh Spice?

You eat that chocolate, you wait 20 minutes for it to take effect, you lift your stomach, you wait another 20 minutes and then throughout the night, every 20 minutes, you vomit in the morning, one weight less, what a diet on the weekend, really affected CH sales, no one putKiller him, but Lu enough, they print these tips and suggestions inside the newspapers. Thank God because we never think about things like that. Would we drink water? Everyone you know drinks water. They drink water. They drink water. That's why I'm thirsty. something to do with the heat these weather warnings are stupid aren't they, they say there's a weather warning today it's hot look outside but to be fair they say for vulnerable people it's for babies and for older people so I would like to and if I can make a weather warning for my nana, take off your coat 4° H why is hot weather an excuse to wear such excal clothes?

Well, not everyone looks bad in a bikini. Trisha, I'm sorry, what was that? It was then because he was being a moose. he was being a moose moose is moose emo you're from California it's always there yeah I have the beach you know I love the sound of the surfers crashing on the rocks it's very relaxing spiritually but nothing is like I was I was out the coast of Florida on my uncle's boat and I told my sister you have to go to the ocean it's wonderful she said I told you I'm having my period you know she takes all the fun out of shark fishing well that's what What do you say?

Is it one of the top five? Yes, it is, this week in Britain it was as hot as the Caribbean, yes, and equally calm and relaxing pensioners have been advised to stay home between 1 and 3, so if you want to go to the post office , that's the best moment, in short, Emo and Alex, what else has the world been talking about this week? Is she the Jordy woman who recovered from a stroke only to acquire a Jamaican accent? It's a brilliant story, yeah, I don't think it's a big problem for her, you know, she goes on from time to time and says, but also it hasn't been a big problem.

There could be a woman in Jamaica waking up today saying L Yi. It could be much worse. You could have an Australian. accent that's Terri Australia that rising inflection all the time I go around the shops I was in Sydney about a year ago and I heard someone sneeze with an upward inflection oh this gu said I love Australia I was there a couple of years ago I was there and watched my career go down the drain in the opposite direction. One of the things we have in our program many times. I walk up to someone in the audience who is blonde and has blue eyes and then they start talking like that.

In it, man, you know Wicked and I told this guy one time I told him why you talk like that. I'm black and I don't talk like that. What the hell are you talking like that? He was giving the view of him. and he said, "Bring it, go ahead." It's this, oh, were you saying in it or not, they say in it, they say in it, you couldn't cut it in the ghetto, Jimmy, I couldn't cut it in the ghetto, you could. Don't cut it in the ghetto, get it out of my face, well I can tell you that Jordy woman with the Jamaican accent is not in the top five.

Okay, Dave Steam, what else has the nation been talking about this week? It could be this North Korean. The bloc is in charge of North Korea, Kim Young sick and they launched, they launched all these missiles, the test missiles, six were successful, but one was not, it's like Bon, find out if it was like the last rocket that's going to explode . and he lands on L and he's going to come out, he's brilliant, he's got the lead, he's got the best propaganda in the world, he's got his press release it's just the best, he says that in his first game of golf he got 10 holes in one, yeah, he's probably playing golf like crazy, it's mental, well, they launched the missiles to get America's attention and I, I just think that would be cool if when you were a kid you wanted to get attention.

He just fires some missiles. I wish I had a bedroom full of missiles just go Mom Mom Mom no Mom yeah that's right for dinner okay that's your answer is it up there? Yes, it's the fourth most talked about topic this week, what else has the British nation been talking about this week? I think they've probably been talking about John Prescott, he got in trouble again apparently he's been visiting a ranch in America owned by a billionaire who's interested in turning the Millenum Dome into Cassino and he says it's complete and he didn't do it, no put it. in the record it didn't say I went on vacation to this guy's house but there are other property suggestions although we can't comment until the investigation has fully clarified it he said he wanted to go to a ranch R did you say ranch or Rancho rch we say Rancho he doesn't say it like the rest of them he wanted to go to a ranch because he always likes cowboy movies now imagine that poor horse saw it coming and left oh for the love of it do you think he has to go?

Now well, he eats so much meat at some point in the day that it has to happen. It looks like he hasn't eaten in 10 years. He has that build of a man who hasn't had a good shit in years. Just meat everywhere. like Pate, he squeezes it around his body like toothpaste, we should take a look and see if Prescott on the casino is one of the top five talking points this week yes, it is, yes, John Prescott has been criticized for his relations with an American casino magnate. It shouldn't be too hard to sell the idea of ​​betting to a man who leaves the door open while working as a secretary at the cabinet office desk, okay, fingers on the bells, one more thing to get big brother.

I don't mean to look at it. I just saw parts there, a woman who looks very old but has huge tits. She has been in our first program for 18 months. You must be very proud. I'm on your show because I saw Leah's first performance, I don't think. They could turn that off during the day. She looks strange, doesn't she Leah? She looks like a wax model in the middle of a fusion stage. Do you like her? Yes I love it. I love that look. Do you like Zeppelin type women? of the things that are happening, do you like all that?

No, I like a woman who is filled with helium, although yes, in many ways, I like a Zepp woman, naturally, no, I just like them to be slightly raised off the ground. I think it looks like the result. from some kind of Muppet bus accident, imagine there was a Muppet L bus and they crashed and then they took out the wreckage, they took out this thing and then they took the skin off and there she would be if you had been watching the new companions leave home in I was going to see it but I had all this candy corn that I had to glue back on a cob, it doesn't take much, let's take a look and see if Big Brother is there, yes, indeed it is.

Leah was so worried about the abuse she will suffer. When she leaves the house, she insists on going everywhere with two huge bouncers, so at the end of that round I can tell you that Sha's team has two points and Dave's team has three points. The next round is called the post with a hole. We've looked at hundreds of surveys submitted and submitted around the world and have discovered some fascinating data. Unfortunately, each statistic is missing a notable fact, so it's up to our panelists to fill in the gaps, okay? Shan Stein. 30% of millionaires are worried about what Robin Hood and his merry men helping their new wives with their homework is that Heather McCartney's admiring glances are a little close to that in a funny way it's related to security their partner is a security guard say the answer 30% of Millionaires are worried about being harassed.

What I got through h. I can't harass. Is a stalker. He only has one leg, but that couldn't be called stalking. Yes. 30% of millionaires are worried about being harassed. I don't have a stalker, but. I have a lady who sends me pants in the mail, thanks mom. 19% of Brits have become angry at someone who has book teeth and a Portuguese accent. He's on Deal or No Deal, taking it too seriously. I have a feeling of heat. from box 48 you're in the change it's a blush anger isn't good anger isn't good you'll notice Trish anger isn't good it's unproductive you better use that energy taking them it really bothers me it's when people discover vegetables that look like someone famous, they send a photo to the newspaper and say, you know, this looks a bit like Natasha Kinsky, doesn't it?

This obene just wants to know what goes through their heads when they find the vegetable, they just say, oh God. God, I'm going to have to give you the answer to this. 19% of Brits have been angry at someone who bothered them in a confusing dream said how do you know you're a man by dreaming you're a butterfly. I'm not. a butterfly dreaming you are a man, how do I know I'm not a butterfly? I drove here so at the end of that round it's three points for sha emo and Alex and four points for Dave Trisha and Justin.

The next round is called. Believe it or not, in this round I give the panelists a simple statement and all they have to do is decide if they believe it is true or false. Emo and Alex, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic. Is that the wallpaper? Part of the room is ready, Jill, can I? I would just love to show you something here because a lot of people don't realize what else you can do with wallpaper, this dress is hot, you saw what J is wearing, that's wallpaper, you can do a lot of other things too.

I know some people who have wallpapered their TV. This is quite attractive but the thing to remember is that you should pull the plug before doing something like this, which was a DIY show from the 1960s, its related statistic every week 4,000 in Britain are hospitalized from DIY accidents . Is it True or false? I have never met anyone who has been involved in a DIY accident nor have I even heard a story about someone who has been involved in a DIY accident. Yes, you move in the right circles to hear the DIY stories. I've built things, yeah what have you built?

Nothing. God help the woman who marries you. Because? Why do not you do it. What are you doing? I'm an attractive prospect, Trisha, are you good? the house, no, my light bulb burns out. I am selling the house and moving. I bet Dave does DIY. You look like a DI, no, no, and I think you probably know that people get hospitalized because us men usually do DIY. those who are good at DIY basically make a living, why are there men on this planet if you can't rub? DIY is fine, why are you here? Bridges, roads, hospitals, everything you can imagine that has ever been invented, in short, Western civilization, but Sean, if I don't give you a little bit of what your father is like, you don't mind building what your father is like, What's it like back in the '50s?

I'm trying to be polite on TV, okay? You've seen your show, never mind build civilizations you can. Won't last two days without a little SE, listen, shelf, what are you putting out, your house is covered in shelves, probably every time I put, she puts, he, he, can't, he can do some, I bet The shed is fantastic. His shed is great. He has an amazing shed in the Garden. Yes, with a combination lock. There is a drawbridge. Everything in the shed. It has a turret. No, I'm in the shed. Yeah, just stop. Okay, so every week 4,000 Brits are hospitalized. via DIY accidents is it true or false I think it's an absolute scandal that statement is disgusting nonsense it's absolute utter nonsense Boulder what are you saying just give me an answer no you're saying no you're saying it's false yeah , Yeah?

I'm saying it's fake. I can tell you that the answer is true. 4,000 Britons are hospitalized every week due to DIY accidents. I once had a serious DIY accident. The phone rang while I was using a nail gun. Okay, Trisha and Justin, let's take a look. in a clip to illustrate your statistic, what the hell am I in charge of this, look friend, I don't know who you are, but I'm going to kick your ass, what are you doing with my wife, not your wife, sir, shut up Anna, well, that's it, man, help, that's the best

episode

of love and joy ever seen here was your related statistic. 64% of men believe they have a higher pain threshold than women.

Is it True or false? You don't get a cold, you get the flu, right? Well, that's not pain, it's pain, it's like getting your dick caught in the flies, that's real pain, there's no real pain, it's giving birth, it's like Diana Ross once told me, it's like in France, Already in cosmopol, I have SE, some doctor performed surgery on me, he said. The most painful thing a woman can ever do is have her nipples clamped and I thought not having to rip them off had to be worse, but I think, having said all that, women have a higher pain threshold because they go through all kinds of of things just to feel good and very good, they are painful things that you go through just to attract good, just to look good and feel good, and for us you were going to say attract men in a way, yes, in a way , but I mean, there is a block.

Lee this week had to take a break to fuck in a frozen turkey, so you know what I mean, it's like that, we're wasting our time. You say, Trish, you're in a very bad mood tonight, right? Well, 'cause I'm the only girl here, no, I'm not Alex, she's the other girl, do you have a pop, our little Alex? No, Alex is younger than me, she is very sweet, why would you say that I was a girl, but? you are you are moreUnfortunately, each stat is missing an Overhang. information, so it's up to our panelists to fill in the gaps here first. 50% of Brits think what is a good way to protect their home.

Pebble Dash. Everyone thinks they don't have money. He has some porcelain animals there. watch with Elvis or something like that that you have in your house. I have a watch with Elvis on it. What's wrong with it? Because it also shows you a mirror and I don't like it when you have the Mir. obviously like Elvis, well you look a bit like him, it doesn't make sense because you hear you're like a double John. Any thought about how to protect your home just seems weird. They won't even cross the street to avoid it. your house, come on, child, you would like a cookie, you do that, how would you protect your house?

Vic, well I guess it's aort because it involves getting together with a group of people, neighborhood watch, correct answer, well, no name on houses, yes 50 Percent of Brits think joining neighborhood watch is a good way to protect your home. There's a fine line between neighborhood watch and being a voyeur. I have reported several things to the police, such as the shocking lack of four works at number 47, okay, next question. 13% of what they say their job discourages people from dating them, paper guys, paper guys, I don't think you'll stop Joan, come in a bit, Vick, any idea what job wouldn't attract you to someone? ?

I suspect they are lepers, an executioner, an executioner would be. Horrible, someone has to do it. I'll give you a CL. Is he an evil dentist? Yes, we want the points. Vick. I'm going to have to tell you what this is. 133% of teachers say their job discourages people from dating. I guess it's hard to find time to meet people when you don't finish work until 3:30 in the afternoon, so at the end of that round it's five points for Sean's team and two points for Dave's team. The next round is to believe. Whether it is or not, in this round I give the panelists a simple statement, all they have to do is decide if they think it is true or false, Dave, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic.

There are many sects, but only Transcendental Meditation will teach you. flying is literally doing this and getting up and doing it, an athlete could obviously go further the lighter you are with the ratio of the power in your legs the further you will go, yogic flying men, here's your related statistic 36% of Brits think that new age therapies are complete nonsense. Do you think that is true or false? I was very skeptical and then I didn't feel good and they told me to try one of those organic coffee enemas and it worked like a million dollars wasted.

I walked out of Starbucks, I can never go back, but I went to Hong Kong and I was very sick and I went to a traditional herbalist, a Chinese store, I went in and, trying to communicate, I did that stupid thing we do and I went. Saw shba shba I don't know why you have something for me Night nurse, we're not seeing each other I recently tuned into ATT on raiki oh that's channeling, it's like a healing energy that you are the channel of and it's really strange because I think it really works, it sorry, do you want to buy some magic beans?

You can do it right, right? I used to be a hippie. I'm over what that is, but Jimmy just likes you, creator. What did she look like? She was doing the raiki. What did she look like? Yes, it was like this beautiful girl was doing raiky on you. I think that makes a big difference with a man if we were both raiki instructors making them feel. Better come on, close your eyes, come on, close your eyes so you don't know who does which first now one of us will stand on one side one of us will stand on the other side right, you're going to cure me which one The left side felt better .

I think the left side felt like it was a little more expensive and the right side felt like you're on a budget, why not? Which side were we on? I had a tight budget, thank you. I wish I had gone further, but you were probably thinking about calories, right? 36% of bricks think that new therapies are complete nonsense, true or false. 36% I would say it is true. I can tell you that the answer is true, yes. 36% many bricks think New Age therapies are complete nonsense, it's sad that they are so cynical, but it's probably just because their shakras are closed.

Sean Vic and Aon, let's take a look at a clip to illustrate your statistic. You may have met some people who like it. doing this kind of thing, I agree, but enough, you've certainly seen thousands like this, they're not a nuisance, they're a real danger, stop it, come here, what do you think you're doing? You've probably already infected thousands of people. Do you think this is worth closing your eyes now? tissue sneeze tissue sneeze see what I mean that's the idea well that was a public information film about sneezingThe tag here is your related statistic. 71% of people say British manners are worse than ever.

True or false. Fuck off. I tell you what really bothers me is that the minicab drivers that you find for minicabs come to your house and Honk outside your house, they don't come and honk, they honk and suddenly I feel like I'm his girlfriend or something like that. I figure he's sitting there in his car and I'm thinking about not coming looking. Me, the people who knock on the door once, yes, yes, did she say? Do many taxi drivers do that? If they're not outside honking, they come in and leave. What's that? There is a frying pan that falls from the Joan Do.

Do you think we have better manners than Americans? Oh, I think so. Once in the last 21 years, a man opened a car door for me and we were on the highway at the time. H with you. 71% of people say British manners. They are worse than ever. Do you think that is true or false? It's true? I can tell you that the answer is yes. 71% of bricks think that manners have never been worse. The other day I defended a pregnant woman in Well, I wasn't going to fight her sitting down, so at the end of that round it's six points for Sha's team and three points for Dave's team and the winner is the name of our final round.

I'm going to give the teams a series of opinion polls, it's up to them to call and tell me who or what they think came first here. It's the first most depressing thing about getting old, why I think it's that you start to lose your memory and you have Alzheimer's. I told you. This was already at a family gathering a while ago and I was in the bathroom and I was in the bathroom I closed the bathroom door and I said why am I, what am I doing here? You don't think I want to. the bathroom I want the bathroom no, I don't want the bathroom maybe I'm washing my hands maybe that's something in my teeth I have no idea and what they say is that you go back to the place where you started from then back to the living room there you go right away the guy He's having a heart attack I've gone for his pills It's also very easy to bend down but it's very difficult to get up properly That's why Clinton never slept with a girl over 30 because he couldn't get out eventually you know, it'll be like down there Here comes Hillary.

I understand that would be B. The most depressing thing about getting older. jump like it was really stupid, he was never going to do it two trees and the branches were too far apart and he went out and I thought he wasn't going to try to do it, and that's what he tried and no one has the right answer yet, die It's dying, yeah, look at your teammates and reconsider that answer, that's sex, okay, is it illness, that's the right answer? The most annoying thing about supermarkets is that the vegetables in Entry never understood why they put vegetables, all vegetables and fruits.

First you walk in, you haven't bought your meat or fish yet, so you don't know what you're going to eat with them. Do you have to guess what meat they might have? Buy the right vegetables for that. food that you don't know you're going to eat yet, you just have to do it in a dream, I hope for the love of God that they have cutlets because I bought potatoes and I bought some broccoli and that goes with the cutlets that you have. without chops I have to go there word by word Q do you ever go to the supermarkets, of course, you open them every morning at 6, that's the correct answer?

I tell you who I blame for the buckets in the supermarkets, the girls are strong, yeah, there's a Morrison's somewhere with five less cashiers, well, Sal tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which It means that the final scores are Shan Vic and they still have eight points. Dave Joan and Holly have four points, so Shan vaporizes. are the winners thanks to all our panelists our wonderful studio audience and to all of you for watching at home see you next month for our big brother special until then good night it's 9:30 on the Cat Big Brother A of 10 special joining the show tonight Big Brother's big Mouth R Northern Delight Jason Manford and his big brother darling spiky and feeding them tonight blond bonell Leah surpass Dom jolly and his big brother sea Lo with extra special guests J nardia Mikey Jan Eugene shz and here's your horse Jimmy car hello and welcome to the 8 out of 10 cats big brother special, a show about opinion poll statistics and of course big brother, did you know that, for example, 50,000 people applied to be on Big Brother this year, alone 22 entered, but there is no waste the rest is ground up and served as sausages a high percentage of applicants are from Glasgow they are not interested in the prize money they just want to live in a house for a couple of weeks and in all the world there have been 114 Big Brother winners 67 men 46 women and nardia, let's start, what are you talking about?

That's the name of our first round. We've teamed up with a leading polling organization and asked the British nation for stories and events from this year's Big Edition. Brother, they found the most memorable thing to be our panelist work to get Big Brother 7's top three talking points Dave Jason and Grace What have people been talking about on Big Brother this year? Nikki's tantrums that I threw the first time she was in the diary room. I thought she was watching the kids say the funniest things. Where's Barrymore? Do you want to take a little look at some of his best moments?

How brilliant, let's take a look at some Hissy Fits. I'm not D. Who is she? Who is she? Super nny, just go. Did you never think she would slap him? Just a sneaky one, yeah, just a little one like you kicked the cat nonchalantly. She is a grandmother in a young body, but she doesn't mean she doesn't have an arm. Thanks for that. Jane also thanks for. not eat it, everyone seemed a little crazy when they walked around, it was like eh, that Star Wars bar, the only thing missing was the fun non-Star Wars music, thanks, yeah, I know who you mean. appearing on the show I have to tell you that you can really let Jimmy get the F out of him.

I think I'm going to make Jade a prefect. She is in charge of the special bus there. I seriously need a paracable. I really need it. Never. I have headaches I have it very bad he you too Eugene doesn't have headaches why I never have headaches for some reason I never have them sometimes I feel like a pain in the head it's like a cell field works well let's take a look and let's see if Nikki is up there. Yes, in fact, Nikki's tantrums were the most memorable thing about Big Brother this year. I don't want to be cruel to Nikki.

I like her, but her forehead is screaming when drinking a certain, Sean Ste, what else have people been talking about Grace chicken water on Susie? Were people just assuming Gracie was in the house a bit oh no not here you're obviously lovely but thanks nice try let's take a look? some of Grace's best moments and let's judge for ourselves if she's really huge, she's stupid, that one over there. F Ashley I feel like I'm living with a golden retriever, she's boring, why is she here? She has had the big, thick silicone thighs of hers. I'm sorry, my God, how dare you?

Certainly not, Lady Grace, yes, no hey, hey, hey, let's be nice, she's our guest, but seriously, throwing water in someone's face you better bother, okay, put your hands up. I do, but you know I say what most 21 year old girls say. I mean sometimes I just think you're a really, really nice girl I don't think there's anything you care about I don't think you're Leah she's a Do you think she's a no, she's not a, she's a good girl? the correct answer my she is my I read that uh obviously you like Mikey but you wouldn't take him home it's true no I never said that if you read it it's not true have you been to his house here yet not not all?

Sure, I'm sure it would come, you'd still throw that water away if you had your time again. It was not premeditated. I just did it, so I can't say it like I'm not a barista, but didn't you tell Alicia? I'm going to throw water in her face it was like premeditated like two seconds before I was going to do it that's premeditation is, let's take a look and see if Grace's evil is up there yeah, Grace's behavior was the third thing that most talked about this year, while leaving home, Grace received a call from Nuts magazine, shabar received a call from your Nuts magazine and you received a call from a magazine that is not