Observe Don't Absorb Technique: Keeping Narcissists Out of Your Head. The "Emotional Wrestling Ring"

Welcome to my latest YouTube video. I'm Ross Rosenberg. I am the author of the human magnet syndrome and the creator of the codependency cure. Today I'm going to talk more about my

observe

d non-

absorb

ed

technique

. I will refer to it as OD 8. The

technique

observe

d in absorption has an interesting history. It was invented while I was trying to free myself from a relationship with a woman who had borderline personality disorder. It was created from my attempts to survive what was hellish retribution abuse with only me disagreeing or wanting. something that was not harmful to me, saved me and I know has helped others.

All of ODA's videos have been viewed on YouTube approximately 3 million times. I couldn't be happier that my own survival techniques became techniques. that I taught to my psychotherapy clients that then, of course, became YouTube videos and part of my educational program. I'm very glad that it helps so many people before I tell you about the purpose of this video, which is essentially how you use what you observe in

absorb

ing the voices or the narratives or the thinking in

your

head

before I talk about it, let me give you a brief introduction or summary of what was observed when absorbing the technique was created as a result of not having control over a person with a borderline personality or whose intention was to hurt me because of their feelings, their experience of abandonment now, as many of us already know and as I have talked about in great detail in my borderline personality disorder videos on YouTube, it's not exactly a situation. where the person with BPD being abandoned or hurt is a perception of it and often these perceptions are biased and distorted and when they are triggered or activated they want to hurt the person and create retribution for the harm so that that person will regret it or feel bad.

Enough so that they will never be hurt again. Now this video is not intended to get into BPD like I said. I have many other videos on the topic, but for a person who is in a relationship with an individual who has borderline personalities. order or indeed someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder or who has a classifier of antisocial people or other types of people with mental health problems or mental health disorders where their power and control over others is to engage them in an argument for the purpose of dominating and controlling. and punishing these types of people is best addressed when we decide not to enter the domain where they are the strongest and best equipped to kick our butts.

I borrowed George Bernard Shaw's saying, never fight pigs, you'll get dirty and dirty besides the pig. he likes to fight. I borrowed it to demonstrate or illustrate how we should not engage or fight with

narcissists

because when we do they will always have the advantage, they love to fight, they love to fight and now obviously they are the pig fighters who have spent their entire lives surviving fighting, they know every inch of their

wrestling

ring

and their only chance to hit us, hurt us, or ultimately control us is to make us respond and fight them. I talk about this in detail in many other videos where I talked about false power syndrome and I talked about other techniques or strategies that draw us into a conversation with the ultimate purpose of getting us to fight them, so if you understand that pig fighter will always kick

your

ass in the

wrestling

ring

. that you will never be good at wrestling because you don't have the background or the motivation to fight dirty and to be deceitful and just honest and manipulative that you are going to lose and if you recognize the concept that I created a false Power Syndrome: When you are driven to When you fight, you fill yourself with energy and anger and this feeling of concentration and strength is as if your anger not only makes you feel stronger but also makes you feel invincible and more capable of fighting, please.

Believe me, when the narcissist triggers your false power syndrome and it makes you believe that you can't get into an argument with him, a fight, or even hold your ground in a conversation that was designed to get you into the wrestling ring to gain more control or reestablish Control Once you understand the futility of fighting in the wrestling ring, the futility of believing you can win, and the outcome of every wrestling match with a pig, you will know that the only way to stay safe is to get out. of a relationship that suffocates you, that is suffocating you, that prevents you from loving yourself, we are trapped in yourself and taking care of yourself is that you have to find a way to win the fight and the fight does not imply fighting, it implies dissociation yes, generally the term dissociation is used as a clinical description of a disorder in which, due to trauma, we are detached from our feelings or emotions or affected with the technique seen in absorption, it requires a controlled and healthy version of dissociation and when you are able to prevent a narcissist from getting under your skin, provoking you or triggering you to want them to fight, I don't want to run into that wrestling ring and say: you can't do that or I'm going to do this.

In fact, you have lost with the understanding that the narcissist, the peg, wants you in a wrestling ring, that when you think you will win, that is part of the problem, the narcissist's strength is in driving you to fight, so now you know that you must discover it. a way to disassociate yourself from a normal human

emotional

experience of someone trying to hurt you and it is very important to understand this, very important because I don't think this association is a healthy reaction for most people, but to keep yourself safe with a narcissist who has so much control over you and many of us who identify as codependent or SLDS know very very well that sometimes there is nowhere to go and you are stuck so Oda is the best technique to protect you whether there is no way escape or not and You're just stuck where you want for a while or you need to keep things in control or keep control of yourself so you don't throw yourself in the wrestling ring and get your butt kicked again, so this healthy dissociation controlled is equal to the term observe.

If you know a narcissist or the pig that just wrote, their strategy is to make you want to fight and you know you fight because you get angry or triggered, that's called absorbing, think about it, absorbing is when you let them get into your system and getting sick is like a poison enters you and that poison makes you want to do things that are bad for you, it hurts you so you have to find a way to watch the narcissist or watch him try to hurt you and that's the dissociation part and to avoid absorbing or be triggered or activated or let toxins get into you so that you then get sick, you know if you have left an allergy, if you are allergic to certain perfumes and it gets on your skin, It will break out if there is flu or a virus around, if you breathe the part of the virus and you are going to get sick so when you look or observe the narcissist and do your best to not let them absorb it into you.

Then you're out of the wrestling ring, out of where it's dangerous, and you've taken away the narcissist's home-field advantage. You have taken away his power and control and people who use Oda say over and over again that it changed their lives. The purpose of this video is not to go into the details of the observe, not absorb technique. I have two or three videos on YouTube and I'm 90 minutes into our video, an extremely detailed video available on my self love recovery com website and I highly recommend it, but today I want to talk about how to fight the voices in your

head

.

Let me tell you what I mean by the voices. These are not real voices. They are not the product of mental illness, schizophrenia or other functions. These are the thoughts the dialogue you have in your head that you tell yourself, for example, if you are in a relationship with a pathological narcissist and you are a SLD with self-love deficiency or codependent, chances are they have gaslighted you or They have manipulated you. believing that there are certain things that are inherently bad about you seemingly bad inherently weak inherently just not good enough and that prevents you from deciding to leave the relationship or keeps you

emotional

ly incapacitated because you have lost faith and self-confidence in your ability to leave from the web and trap of

narcissists

and finding freedom and security to eventually start over if they can make you say no one will love me I'm ugly I'm too skinny I'm too bat I'm too short I'm too tall I have a depressive disorder I have a disorder depressive I drink too much if they can make you believe that there is something wrong with you that will prevent you from being happy outside of a relationship that is as powerful as them physically beating you in the wrestling ring.

Now that I've talked about the phenomenon, identify the voices in your head as the person who originally put them there, so I won't go into this in this video, but I'll sum it up by saying that if you're in therapy or getting professional help, It is often important to realize that these thoughts that you are telling your solver are coming from somewhere else and it is important to identify where they are coming from and once you have identified where they are coming from you will be able to do so more easily. difference that this is not you telling yourself there is something wrong or not good enough, but rather it is a gas leak narrative that was put there on purpose by a scheming manipulative pathological narcissist or was put there just by chronic neglect, abuse and harm by a narcissist. or an individual, now that we recognize that there is a physical fighting ring and an emotional fighting ring, the emotional fighting ring comes from thoughts/statements and those statements come from other people which we eventually identify as our own thoughts emanating from ourselves for For example, if you are very shy and you have social anxiety and your attempts and of course if your SLD you have terrible self-esteem or shame and loneliness and all those things and you have been turned on the gas to believe that no one will ever like you. because you are too shy and nervous and they remind you over and over again or they have tricked you into believing it or they have turned you on with their systematic narcissistic maneuvers to make you fail in social situations, you won't tell no one likes me I'm nervous I'm anxious I am weird and that will be your voice your thought and when you have that thought and you believe it is yours then you protect yourself by avoiding others so as not to disappoint yourself so that the voice really is that of another person that you have identified so this is how the technique works to observe, not absorb, with these voices, with the emotional fighting ring with the gas-lit narratives in your head, it is important that you identify and know who the aggressor is.

Who wants you to fight? Who is trying to antagonize you to fight? Who knows who plans if you fight them you will naturally lose so you have to identify the pin fighter and understand that they win. Are you hitting the wrestling ring? So, with the emotional feeling. wrestling ring and the voices of thoughts in your head, it is up to you or with the help of a therapist to take a look at these self-defeating negative and degrading thoughts and find out where they came from because they did not come from you originally if you are a DNA from SL, too big a gap that has been instilled in you.

Find that person or people who put them in your head. In fact, once you do it, you will have less shame because you will know that you are a victim of this. insidious and horrible manipulation and it's just not you telling you that you are bad with the identified voice, so it could be your mother or your father or your family or your spouse or just your boss or whoever, then you have to deal with a voice and the person. Who put him there as the pig wrestler? You have to use the observed absorption techniques. You have to be able to observe the voice.

I'll never have friends. There is something inherently broken in me. I am NOT handsome enough. I'm not smart enough. The voice you identified is not you and the intention is that if you believe in the voice you weaken so you observe, you do not absorb, you are watching, you know that the voice gains control if you believe it and if you internalize it, that is absorbed, you decide. not absorb, be triggered or activated by voice, in other words, you go to a work function and there is an opportunity to meet someone and suddenly you say "well, he will never like me because I'm just not interesting enough I'm boring I'm so Anxiously you stop and look at that statement he won't like me because I'm boring you're not interesting and you wonder okay is that my voice is coming from me and you identify that it wasn't like that and if you can identify where it came from and then with the face of the person or people that they put that thought, that emotion, that voice in your head, you can decide that you are going to observe that and not take it in.

Don't believe it and accept it when you observe that voice and understand that it was never really objective information that you accepted at face value. letter, you decide not to accept it and not react to it, the lack of reaction prevents you from fighting, or -flight response, which is that you have to do something to protect yourself, most of the time the SLV or the codependent will run away from the relationship, it prevents you from sabotaging yourself and promoting or perpetuating the self-fulfilling prophecy which is simply when you believe that something bad is going to happen to you or you are going to do something bad to yourself, for example, you have the thought that no one will like you because you are inherently nerdy and anxiousand you are worried about it making you nerdy and anxious, which facilitates or promotes a reaction and that a person does not like to think that you are very interesting, nice, it is the fear and the personal realization of that fear that makes this really happen , then what we have is what was observed.

Regarding the absorption technique, I again want to remind you that the observe, not absorb, technique is complicated and deserves a full explanation in my YouTube videos. It lasts between 10 and 15 minutes. Consider getting the video observed in absorption, the 90 minute video at Self Love Recovery Institute or watch some of the excerpts or videos on YouTube, but what I want you to know now, which is a newer idea, is how to fight your nemesis and that it is not just the narcissist, the Narcissistic Pig, who wants you to fight them. in the wrestling ring so they can kick your ass so you can lose and eventually you don't want to fight anymore because you're tired of losing now it's the voices in your head that come from prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse, belittling or gaslighting, I hope .

This additional information about the absorption technique that I observed is helpful for you. Thank you for subscribing to my YouTube videos and if you don't, please do and thank you for supporting my work all these years. I really appreciate our work together to build better foundations. of self-love, whether it be one person at a time or in communities, because the more we love ourselves, the less these narcissists can't control us and hurt us, take care, bye, you.