Dax Shepard Accidentally Flirted with Kristen Bell’s Mom

You're so put together. Where are you going after this? She was meeting a girlfriend. He wanted to impress her. Actually? Did you do this for me? I did! Well, you look beautiful. I certainly don't use things like this at home. No? No. No, that's why I thought you were going somewhere after this. No, I just go to a climbing gym with my kids. Yes. Yes, true story. And do you also climb rocks? I don't, no. No, I'm afraid of getting back and neck injuries, when I'm not. Yes. Yes. That's what happens with children. I know. And are they connected to some kind of harness?

No. And that's okay with you? Yeah, they can't... they're not agile enough to reach high enough to get injured. And it's a little padded. I see. I see. I've never been to one of those things. They look fun. And it looks like something fun for kids. They are great, yes. Yes, may I ask what happened to your son's head in this picture? I saw a picture of...what kid is this, by the way? I don't know his name. Hey, yoy, yoy, yoy, yoy. That is the back of my youngest daughter's head. And the story behind that...

What is her name? Delta. Delta, and Delta, how old is she? Five. Five. She just turned five years old. So she has this intense obsession with bathing with her stuffed animals. She likes to take all of her stuffed animals to the bathtub. And it's like, in my head, I'm like, well, that's a cool sensory thing. I'm going to let her do it. But she plays with them. And that's why she wants me to leave the room. And now that she's five, I'm like, Okay, I can start making dinner. I mean, there's so much water in the bathtub.

So she is there. And then I'm going to take it out of her. And I take it out. I'm like, oh, I don't think you got the conditioner out of her hair. And she says, no, I did it. I rinsed it. And then 10 minutes later, while I'm putting him in his pajamas, I ask him: what did you wear? And she was like, Vaseline! First of all, is that the entire jar of Vaseline? It was quite Vaseline. And why did she think that...why was that within her reach? Because her mother left her alone in the bathroom.

And she likes sensory play. And how you get it out is this. It was three rounds of Hello Bello shampoo, one round of clarifying shampoo, two rounds of dish soap, and then we still had to wait four days because none of it worked. Wow. Yes. Yes, because Dawn is what they use when the animals, the bird, get oil spills and all that. Yeah. So you'd think Dawn would do that. I thought...she cut the fat. Delta Dawn. What about that? (SINGING) Delta Dawn, what is that flower? (SPEAKING) What? She cut the fat a little bit. No, I mean, yes, I like Dawn.

It worked a little. Wow. Well, I'm sure they combed it a little after that. No, we don't touch it. I mean, who does he have to impress? That's true. That's true. Start saving for therapy now. And then I love that you, of course, rescue dogs. And you have a one-eyed dog. Yes. That's so cute. Tongue. Barbara! Check it out! Barbara Biscuits, she will be 12 years old this year. We got it last year. And you know, she's a mess. Dax calls her the dirty old golf rag. Because that's what she looks like. She's... It looks like she has Vaseline in her hair right now.

Yes. Well, what about you? This was...she walked straight towards the pool. Oh no. Because she is blind in this eye. And this eye only has 20% vision. But none of this involves the edge of the pool. Well, thank God someone was there to catch her. Yes. And I picked her up immediately. But she... Because you don't look good as a mother or pet owner right now. Oh! The results are there! No, I take wonderful care of her. And I take care of all of her... you know, older dogs are my favorites. Yes, rescuing an older dog is the best.

It's so sweet that you did that. Yes, despite how much he puts us through. Because she didn't...she came at 11 years old. And she really can't train a dog like that. Plus, I think she has a really small brain. Then she won't work. But she hasn't realized that going out is where she goes to the bathroom. Or maybe she has and she just doesn't enjoy it. But I'll leave her outside for five hours. She will be on the porch, in the patio. And then she'll run inside and pee on the kitchen bathroom rug, the kitchen rug.

It's like she's standing outside the door saying, let me in, let me in, I have to pee, I have to pee, let me in, ooh, let me in. Because she only pees on the kitchen mat. Wow. Well, have you tried putting the mat outside of it? Have! When I wash it and then dry it outside, it doesn't matter. Wow. Because you can pretend... you can build something that looks like a kitchen outside on the patio with the mat so she thinks it's the kitchen. You have enough money to do that. You can do that. I guess I could.

I never thought of that as a solution. Think about it. Think about it. I wanted you to tell this story. Because I found out this morning, it's so funny, about your mother... Dax flirting with your mother. She was coming to town. And she texts him, like, be there at 11:00, and then she texts him something else that she's like, I can't wait to see you tonight. And he wanted to answer smiley face, smiley face, smiley face. And instead, she answers eggplant, eggplant, eggplant. And when she did, she said, hey, oh, no! I made a huge mistake! And I was like, what?

And she shows me the phone. And by the way, the moment you involve an eggplant emoji, the whole story changes. Because now, he says, I'll be there at 11:00, I can't wait to see you tonight. Which is not how it reads in the original texts, nor what she intended! But luckily, she didn't know what an eggplant emoji was. She does it now. Alright, we need to take a break. More with Kristen after this.