Boss & Coworkers Are Incompetent! (Should I Leave?)

dave is on the line in dayton ohio dave you are on the ken coleman show what is your question for pat nye thank you for taking the time um i have come to feel resentment towards my employer and i have been trying to resolve it for some time now it is towards the co-workers, towards leaders and is really starting to question whether I want to be here or not. Well, that makes sense in the first place, but we need to dig deeper, as far as we know, into what started it. resentment is an important thing there are two things that are really driving you crazy is his lack of leadership one be specific no no no that's not good enough I need to know specifically do you understand what I'm saying I mean it's too broad there is something that's in your trace when you say poor leadership what is their inability to manage their

coworkers

well, let's go deeper is that they are not consistent with everyone is that they are not uh they are saying one thing This is the way we do business and they're letting people do it poorly, so there's no consequences, I mean, be specific, yeah, inconsistencies with that and then the product knowledge and your lack of product knowledge that we have here.

Okay, now let's change the subject because you also have problems with your

coworkers

. What's going on? Be very specific. A work ethic so that you perceive them as lazy. They are not doing everything they can. Now, this is a difficult question. We have to know, are you the only one who feels this way? Are you the leader of a group of people who feel this way? What's going on with that? I wouldn't say I wouldn't say I'm the leader of a group. I feel like there are several co-workers who feel the same way. Okay, I'm doing it right.

Let me ask you. I don't expect people to have the same work ethic as me, but I expect them to be better. I agree, and you also expect leadership. to fix the situation because that's why in your mind they're partly there so I got it right so last question and then pat I want you in on this. This is fascinating. I know you'll enjoy this, uh, Dave, if I could. wave my ken coleman, show the pencil in the air and poof, fix both problems, the leadership problem and the coworker problem, if you could fix it, would you be questioning your job and your career not so much?

That's what I thought, okay, then, play what. What I mean is that he loves the job. I think you're doing the right thing. I may be doing the wrong thing if this is a functional leadership issue and the organization isn't healthy enough to fix it, but I'll

leave

you. take charge what do you have for him? do you have questions for him do you have thoughts yeah I love this dave um and I feel for you I mean these are real issues and they affect our lives yeah so what I would say is the first thing you need to address is the resentment. , okay, and what I mean by this is that if you accept the fact that maybe leaving is the right thing to do, just accept that sometimes that resentment arises like these people are doing. impossible and they're going to make me have to

leave

and then I do it and it's like no, just see yourself as maybe that's the right decision when you accept that it might bring you down a little bit and it might let you breathe and have some peace to decide what to do because otherwise resentment will cloud your ability to decide that, so that's the first thing, maybe in fact this is God's way of telling you that you have to get out of there and the inability of these people to see All of those things are good things for you, but the second thing I'm going to say is this, while don't assume that the leaders in your organization are leading the way you want to see them, many leaders are leading the way they would.

They would like to be better, but they don't know how, yes, and we tend to go to work and do well. They're doing it exactly intentionally, that's how they want to and no one has ever told them in my career. I know I was the guy. that people came into the CEO's office and said to say yes and I thought why don't I even work for him, I mean, and they said because he listens to you and I thought why does he listen to me and I. I thought because I was the guy who would tell him the kind truth, in this case it was an anthem and I would come in and say: you know I can't do your job, I'm not saying I'm smarter than you, but here are some things that I think they would make a difference, I think they could be good for you, they could be good for everyone else and I just want you to say that with humility and with good leaders, even with broken leaders, but good leaders will leave, wow, no one has ever done it.

That's right, well, this begs the question. I had a question for you, Dave, on this very point. Have you addressed this with your leadership? These specific frustrations. I've tested what that means. So, yes, I have had a conversation with. the domain leader here and it didn't go very well. He may have been too harsh and took it as a personal attack on people who he felt were trying to help the company and I don't really see it that way. that way, but he sees it that way and your perception is that that's how it ended correctly, what I'm saying is that what I'm hearing is quite true, yeah, right, he felt like he was attacking the people he feel like they are trying to help. the company when and where that might be further from the truth in my opinion, along with other coworkers' opinions as well, okay, so this is a tough situation because, if you did it right, you did it wrong, we're sitting here now in a reality. when the leader is defensive he took it personally and not only that he took it personally on behalf of these coworkers that Dave has a problem with, so we're in a complicated situation here about whether I

should

stay or I

should

go, so what would I say?

To Dave, first of all, don't beat yourself up because you're frustrated, so you went in there, but I would say if I gave you advice, I would say go in right now and be the best, be so humble. and I come in and say, I think I communicated this wrong, that's right, that's right, and my intention, I always love this, to anticipate people's objections, my intention is just to help the company, so what I did before probably I wouldn't have found any if that were the case. You, I would receive it the same way, now they're like, "Wow, so let me tell you what I was really trying to get at and I hope you can forgive me and listen to me the right way and I know, Dave, that's what it will feel like." I really like it wow that's really humiliating that's that's that's hard and yet that's what disarms people because they're going to be fine I'll listen to you here and then I'll give you a chance to say this is really what I'm saying and from here I come and I don't believe this I don't believe this but I do think this and I would like to be part of the solution yeah and if you do that with a lot of humility, Dave and they still don't want to listen, so it's like it's time to start happening, yeah, yeah, you don't need to bang your head against the wall and bleed to death, but you give it a chance and then you can get out of there and shake the dust off your feet and move on to the next place.

I completely agree. Great thing, boy, are you having fun? Oh, I love this, this is fun, yes, this is fun. I've never done this with anyone else, like, this is great, I just want to sit down. Here and forth, God helps Dave make this breakthrough, but by the way, what advice are we going to pack this in for 30 more seconds with Pat's advice? What we've heard is a way to get in and really close this out. true, he didn't handle it, he admitted that maybe not in the best way, his intentions were good, but here we are dealing with people, we must remember that leaders are also people with feelings for the way you get to something, so he has than to give this. one more shot and if you do it the right way and the can is still kicked down the road, there's your cue and you know when you do it, if you make a mistake and you come back and do it right, it's actually more powerful. that if you have never made them agree that a waitress makes a mistake or a waiter in a restaurant, yes, and they and they recover well, you like them more, so if you go in and be humble with your manager, they will Iran.

This guy is amazing, he humbled himself, whereas if he had done it perfect the first time, maybe he wouldn't even notice, so don't do it, maybe it's a blessing, yeah.