I spent a day with TRANS MEN: "From Mother to Father"

Well, I still haven't accepted my butt hair, it gets too itchy if I try to shave it so what's the point of denying it? It's like you have to accept yourself. You're right. I guess I'll have to accept it. The excitement is so different. As crazy as it sounds. I understand why. There's that classic thing where, like all men, you think about sex a hundred times a day because before testosterone you didn't. How many more times a day do you think about sex than when you were a woman? probably like a hundred times a hundred times more yes I think about it all the time I pray maybe once a day maybe and now it's literally all the time I still treat women with the utmost respect and would never hurt a woman, well you could be horny and treat people with respect at the same time, right, that's what I'm saying.

I'm experiencing everything they experience and I'm still a great guy. I got picked on so much in high school. It was called that. lesbian insults when I was so afraid of that happening again that I had a boyfriend and I liked doing everything I was supposed to do, I dressed feminine and I thought I wasn't dealing with it and that was another thing I like, I remember. My sisters said: why don't you have sex with your boyfriend? and they're like, oh, so I did it thinking it would help prove that I'm straight and cis and all that stuff and then I got pregnant if I felt puberty.

The wrong pregnancy was puberty on steroids. It wasn't until after I gave birth that I really started to realize why that was so miserable for me. I felt like I was dying. I remember that my sister had been pregnant very close to me. and she loved it and I was like, "I'm not feeling that. Do you think part of the reason your sisters were able to enjoy it was because I felt like you already know part of the process toward

mother

hood and womanhood?" I felt so backwards, of course, that felt so wrong, like if you got a man and he was pregnant, they would feel so weird, how seeing your journey has shaped your son's gender perspective and social norms since he was a baby.

Gender neutral parenting, the problem with that was they were raising a divided household and they had so many family members that everyone else would undo what I was doing, they would come home like their other parents' house with barbies and pink dresses and all. these things, so I almost had to step back a little bit and say that I didn't want to look like the parent who then tries to take these things away from you, so when I came out as

trans

, they weren't too surprised. and it wasn't this like, oh my gosh, my parents went from mom to dad, they were like yeah, you've always been masculine, you've always been, I thought maybe non-binary or whatever, so this really does In a sense, Has your parenting style evolved with your

mother

versus

father

gender?

Is there a different way to be a

father

? Maybe if someone was looking at it from the outside maybe they would see subtle differences, but like I said, I always felt like this brain was my Brain and I asked Arlo this. I asked him if you noticed a difference and I said no, you're exactly the same. I also asked him what our goal was. I asked her: do you ever miss having a mother like you do now? you have two dads at all you are the same to me as if you were the same father you are the same person your exterior simply matches your interior do you feel that you missed your childhood when you were a child you definitely already feel that you are going through a second puberty due to hormones 100 Like I deal with everything like a 13-14 Your voice started to crack, whatever, yeah, it's there, we heard a lot about butt hair, I didn't get it, but luckily you didn't get too hairy like some of My friends have beards and I think this is the most I can grow a lot of people say oh you're so immature you act young or whatever and it's like me I don't even care when people say that.

For me it's like I'm finally doing things I was never able to do. How important is it for you to be acceptable so that other people see you as a man without you having done it? to say something, the parts of passing that I didn't experience when I was younger, you know, being able to have that now, people use it, you know, he, the pronouns, people call me sir or brother, brother, is it that much of a

trans

ition? Mental as it could be physical, everything on the inside feels exactly the same, so this bag of flesh was wrong, yeah, I always call it skin too because I remember growing up and literally feeling like I was in a bad costume, yeah, like a tight. incorrect costume ill-fitting hot uncomfortable miserable what has been the hardest part of transitioning to a man?

Could you? I'll be honest, it's a lot easier than being a woman, so I don't have many complaints. Male privilege is real. real is real and I have it is real male privilege is being real confirmed male privilege is real is real real men and women treat me better now people respect my similar thoughts more that's sad that's something like that it's very stupid no one sexualizes me anymore , even when I was a lesbian, there were so many straight men who were like, "Oh, lesbians are hot." I'm also not afraid to walk alone, even if let's say I'm in a group at a party, I guess.

Other men will like direct questions and things towards me instead of liking the girls next to me, almost everything I saw when I was a female presenter and was told: Hey, that's not fair, now from the other On the other hand, do you have any kind of aversion? reaction when someone uses your dead name and you know I can't go without thanking best help for sponsoring this episode, therapies helped me reframe my view of the world and myself by allowing me to empathize with my younger self and therefore , understand who I am today. better, but therapy can be customized to what's right for you and can be helpful in helping with motivation or feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, insecurity, or anything else you may need.

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Spent a day with the uncensored podcast viewers and listeners, by the way, 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com, that's better, h-e-l-p-com padilla now back to the world of streaming my dead my name was the name that I had before I transitioned, so I chose my name when I transitioned and changed it legally, but the name my parents gave me at birth is my mortal name. I think for me I see my entire life before transitioning. to my transition associated with that name, hearing it definitely brings up feelings of anxiety and repression that I've felt pretending to be a different person, so it takes me back to that space in my mind and it can be quite stressful how important pronouns are.

Pronouns are everything to you and yeah, I mean, honestly, if you don't refer to me as he, I'll call you, you know, because why are you doing that? I've been living a stealthy life, so stealthy is when you don't like to openly tell people, I guess you're trans, I mean we're in this video, there's anything you want to say to anyone watching who finds out for the first time. time today. that knows you in person oh my god, yes, there is family out there. Do you ever receive any kind of backlash for your identity? Yeah, I mean, I documented my transition on YouTube.

Many people sought me out to use them as an example. against me and against trans people I was the subject of a book, so she had a whole chapter on influencers and I was one of them who was mentioned as a trans youtuber, the main idea was that trans men are victims of misogyny in society so I think we can't be women so we have to transition to men to be happy and it comes in packs like waves. If we have a trans friend, there is some kind of element of social contagion, as if it were a religion to convert to, yes, exactly, have you ever been asked?

Do you know what if this is all just a phase all the time online and in real life at first a lot of people think they just think about it because what's going on in the world? Maybe I saw Euforia or you know whatever and oh, I thought, oh, maybe I'm translating now. What about being in a relationship with someone who is so overtly feminine and there's a woman there? whatever kind of backlash you get for that, there were a lot of really 100 transphobic comments and what does that boil down to? I think those people are deep down very miserable because I think, literally, what is your life like?

You're sitting at home trying to hurt people on the internet, I mean it comes from wanting to make others feel as bad about themselves as they do themselves, so there's really no reason for you to spend that time and energy worrying about something you don't. you have connection with yes exactly, I always say the same thing, there is absolutely no way for that person to be happy, so I feel bad for you because I am happy, how do you feel about the transition of teenagers? Well, I transitioned when I was a teenager, so I'm a little biased, I think that answers that question.

I think there's a lot of conversation going on about how they express that kids have surgeries and take hormones, which just doesn't happen, you know, if you have a trans kid who's like 11 or 12, the process is difficult, I mean, for me, when I started therapy, he had to make sure that I had come out as a trans boy and had been living as a boy for almost a year before I started and after that it was a reference to a hormone specialist, and even that is a process, teenagers, no matter what we're talking about, they have a lot of growing and phases to do, so I think anything that is super super permanent might be no, it's not the best for a very person.

The young teenager is obviously careful, but at the same time, we are literally losing children because of this, because of not being able to transition and not expressing themselves the way they want, so I think there are ways for them to do that, and kind of do it. do. that and maybe what I guess you could call baby steps what about the d transition? we hear a lot about people in transition d what happens with people in transition d is that and I think it's really blown out of proportion unfortunately the most common reason a person transitions is because their social environment is unacceptable and they can't continue living as a trans person.

They have to go back into the closet to be accepted, to keep their jobs or their housing or whatever, to maintain a relationship with their family. life is much worse not because of how they feel about themselves but because of how people treat them for being able-bodied. You could give your younger self a message, any advice or anything before you fully understand the fact that you are trans. Is there something you would like to say to yourself? It's not weird that you were a girl who wanted a mustache. You're weird for other reasons, but that's not why you have parents who support you and life is going to be fine and it's not so scary.

Honestly, this is going to be. It may sound very cheesy, but it's just the community, no matter where you are in the acronym, you have a lot of similar feelings and it's very easy. The cool thing about meeting a queer person and just connecting is like you can meet a queer person and it's like you've always known them. I

spent

a day with trans men and one thing that really suits me is how they teach me how to repress something. that we link so strongly to our identity can also cause us to suppress the amount of joy we are capable of experiencing.

In order to enjoy life to the fullest, we may need to take a step back and determine which of the beliefs we hold are ours and were ours. taxes, you've embraced your place within the queer community so deeply that you now have a podcast too, yeah, so I have a podcast coming out called questicles. It's a chaotic queer dnd questicles podcast. I heard the questions well. Okay, I'm trying to think about the quest to gain testicles. Well, it's almost like chronicles in question, so I don't know where your mind goes. I don't know, that's weird. Do you think other people will do that? mistake oh let's talk about virility, that's true