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Greg Giraldo | Best of Greg Girlado Comedy Central Roast | Roklan Reacts

Mar 14, 2024
welcome, welcome back, my name is Rockland, this is Rockland

reacts

and we do reactions to

comedy

routines now, today we are getting a tip from additional Rockstar, thanks to additional Rockstar, you are always rocking with this channel and I really appreciate it. He gave me the suggestion to do the

best

of Greg Geraldo and these are clips from Comedy Central Rose, I think and I hope they don't demonetize me, but we will, thank you all for supporting, make sure you like it and subscribe. and we're getting into it, come on, we just have to change the screen, oh, this one in this one, they like the shit, there we go, okay, Mr.
greg giraldo best of greg girlado comedy central roast roklan reacts
Geraldo, who are these nobodies that are here to make fun of you? You are an inspiration, uh, it shows. That not having talent can be seen as hip and ironic, you greasy Greek bastard, we shouldn't be drilling in Alaska, we should be touching your family's pillowcases, you're used to looking their age, now you don't even look your species for that. I love the pink camouflage Lisa, you like it General, get fat, holy man, look at you, fat man, who knew Ryan had an army? Lisa actually has a lot in common with that octal mom, that woman who gave birth.
greg giraldo best of greg girlado comedy central roast roklan reacts

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greg giraldo best of greg girlado comedy central roast roklan reacts...

All those babies she's never given birth to but has had 80 fingers inside her at once, thank you, yes, she loves it, it seems like a bunch of bums up here. Gary Busey is here. How are the kids, Gary? I guess he flew in from lobotomy island. Jesus Gary. your horse face you look like Nick Nolte, the Clyde, yes, urinals, look at you every time you talk, I want to pee in your mouth, holy Warren, he was great on Dancing With the Stars, he came in second place and then celebrated by dragging his partner to the top of the Empire State Building it's great to see Toby Keith Toby I'm glad you could take some time to stop spitting on Mexicans and be here Toby up Toby, you put the big bigot I loved your last song Get Out of My Country , camel jockey, baggy wetback ghost too and, uh, Marcia Brady is here Maureen McCormick, how about that saintly Marsha Brady you wrote in your book that you used to trade sex for drugs when you were a kid?
greg giraldo best of greg girlado comedy central roast roklan reacts
I used to fantasize about having sex with you I knew all I needed was an eight ball and a bathroom champ at the bus station You look like Magnum PI with AIDS, my friend, uh, Nick Depalo is here Nick, Look at you, big and hunched over Guinea, you're like Fonzie with spina bifida. I'll call you okay. on I don't know, I guess he's part of that next wave of scowls that will make me want to kill myself or maybe he's just here so Lisa Lampanelli won't be the only fat lesbian on stage opposite Larry the Cable Guy, this It's exciting, I gotta tell you, I've never

roast

ed a fake character before, maybe next year we can

roast

SpongeBob, Larry.
greg giraldo best of greg girlado comedy central roast roklan reacts
Larry's entire law is a farce like the Bible or the common denominator of the Holocaust and shamelessly and ironically exploits people's opinions. Racist and homophobic tendencies don't listen to these people Larry, they are just bitter and jealous, and you are right, you are inbred, you have been inside more farm animals than Purina, you are like the Trojan army, you are very patriotic and they both went in . a giant horse, your cousin, who was sweating sauce, his first cousin when he was 16 years old. and the last one, about an hour of kilos with Nutrisystem and another 10 when you shaved your back, how are you so popular?
This one finally broke my face, your fans can't. They can't even afford cable, they don't come because they think you're funny, they've just never seen a cable guy, you better come up with other characters that your fans have never seen, like Larry the Dentist, Larry the Librarian, or Larry the drug addict school diploma, you make more money in a week than I do in my life and that feels good. I have to tell you, you say you've never done drugs, but seeing your success has landed me in rehab twice, so thanks for taking advantage. my soul, your redneck Donny Osmond, everyone jokes regularly, well you know what I do, I love that Stewie character on your show, he's great, uh, you made all your money because you created a criminal baby, you're like Michael Lohan, He laughs, like cheese. cheese, it's not a rose Jerry Springer George Hamilton look at these talentless success stories the devil has signed so many deals with you he has carpal tunnel syndrome he's here everyone I hope this isn't too direct for him but God I've been shaken A lot thank you, you've made me spill more seeds than Muhammad Ali in a bird feeder, all over you since 1968.
Hamilton, they're like a walking tumor, not exactly, it's a big deal when you spot a tumor. Cut without pizza. Lampanelli everyone Lisa Lampanelli, good to see you Lisa, I've never seen a circus bear in a pantsuit before, you know what Lisa Lisa looks like, she seems very confident, but she's really not, she's very sweet, she was telling me that backstage and had knots on all four. of their stomachs you're a fat Chinese fat woman with tons of illa and talking fact Hulk Hogan is here I can't imagine listen why your wife left you you're an old man who dresses like a Hooters weight shirt on an angry show called Hogan knows better that should have been called Hogan grow up Brad Terry Springer it's good to see you slipped in here today Springer, your cultural side of our civilization like Gilbert's uncle on Valentine's Day, you're an assistant to Bobby Kennedy, which probably explains your connection with Hasselhoff I guess you like hanging out with guys whose careers end on a hotel floor here and now, even the happy hour man, one more hand for the Hop, everyone, huh, what a legend is halfway there sitting on a lifeguard chair because that's what you do.
You're

best

known for I Guess When We Roast Pam She Should Have Been Sitting on a Foreign Cock Lambert's Graduation Date You're Huge in Europe You're Even Knighted by the Queen of England She Dubbed You Liver Syrosis Have You Ever Not made? drunk you used to have a car that started when you talked to it now you have a car that won't start when you blow at it you're so drunk when alcohol pays your taxes it labels you as a dependent thank you yes and Jekyll and Hyde on Broadway is a normal guy who drinks something and then he turns into a raging bully what an impressive range maybe maybe for your next big break you can break out of the role of Hasselhoff, a washed up drunk who eats cheeseburgers, you're drunk, you drink a lot, right?
Your liver is so shriveled, black and dead. If you put your ear to your side, you can hear what you are talking about. Willis, you are a good father. Congratulations on being honored here tonight. I know you're drinking a lot, but. uh, but you're not going to remember any of that John Stamos, are you? Laughs a lot. John played the Bongos in a Beach Boys video wearing a pink tank top that he couldn't have been gayer if George Michaels was at your last stop. and meth in your ass with Rupert Everett's fist you're in the ER now John, congratulations you're like Susie Usman's vagina you're almost useless but somehow you still work oh this girl was John uh John was married to my favorite supermodel Rebecca Romaine O'Connor Jesus, let's see, you lost your wife because of that fat guy from Stand By Me.
Look at you, you greasy Greek bastard. I look at you and wonder how there can be an energy crisis. We shouldn't be drilling in Alaska, we should. be ringing your family's pillowcases Norm Macdonald is here one of the funniest people of all time and Norm has a giant gambling problem. He has dropped more coins in a casino than Michael J. Fox has dropped in a parking meter. It is a road. Brian poses, look at him, that giant demon. It's hard to believe you could be so out of shape considering how often the townspeople chase you with torches.
Great Cloris Leachman, of course, is here. Cloris Leachman, get ready. She wasn't that old. She lost her virginity to a druid. What are you doing here? glorious you are the only person with talent you won an Oscar and nine Emmy Awards when it comes to winning awards you have been more voracious than John Lovitz and all the dick you can eat buffet come on John, there hasn't been a buffet more female Jew in the closet since that Anne Frank Gilbert recently had a baby who would see you in the sex appeal of a school bus fire, which brings me to the manly Bob Saget, everyone, uh, Bob Saget Bob Bob, you're a genital wart on the American people .
Who cares about Bob Saget with your long neck, pointy beak, and granny glasses? You like Vlasic's pickle stork, except instead of giving birth to babies you're not funny because you're like my seven-year-old son. You think swearing is funny and I'm not surprised your dick is the same size as it was in first grade and where the hell are the Olsen twins? The Olsens are like Tom Green's testicles, they look the same but one is fake and empty inside and the other has been licked by Heath. Ledger, what the hell happened? Are you, I, artistically committed? Charlie Sheen watches you and feels good about himself.
You are an artist in the same way Cloris Leachman is wet. Bob, stop enjoying your ironic modernity that is happening to you these days. You're not cool, stop trying to be fashionable at one point in your act, you actually say who your dad is, say my name, look me in the eyes, that's right holy shit, I couldn't cringe more if I saw my mom in a video. being bad Bob, I have seen you many times, you have always been very funny and super cool and everyone who knows you loves and respects you, no one has anything bad to say about you and that is particularly surprising. because you are Jews and you are unpleasant people thank you very much thank you very much everyone thank you very much uh Ron White isn't he drunk?
We all seriously gave him a hand. Nolte got carried away, how about a hand? you say everything they said about Norm before he got to Foxworthy specifically I want to talk about all the blue collar guys, these guys are like rock stars and by that I mean old, boring and riddled with syphilis, the tour grows by 15 million of dollars. 15 million was at a time when your fans have so many other entertainment options that you know they could have stayed home and burned with their sisters, instead they had other options, they dressed in their best, who farted, T-shirts that jump.
They start El Camino and take the hard-earned money they earned from an extra shift working to tilt the world or robbing a liquor store. You know, this is money they could have spent on abortions. Speaking of abortions. It's good to see it. Larry, the cable guy, here he is, I saw Larry on the beach because we hung out on the beach, Larry and I and I, from the back, all you see is rolls of fat, strands and strands of hair, your back It looks like Lisa Lampanelli, seriously, get it. good to see Bill Engvall here Bill, he's a prolific bastard, he has seven

comedy

CDs without Bill C, seven CDs, Bill, have you ever thought about saying something unfunny without recording it?
You mustn't be too good at comedy Bill, my tough Crowder friends. here of course Colin Quinn and I recently noticed when we called Blue Collar TV that viewers had a hard time understanding everything he said and replaced him with Larry the Cable Guy. Now my friend Nick Depalo is here and you know. a lot of people say that Nick is just a big guinea fool anyway, and our people, uh, yeah, Mr. Jeff Foxworthy, uh, you know, Jeff has always been an original and an innovator, you know, when everything the world made cheesy observational comedies. Jeff came up with the idea of ​​doing It's with a very original southern accent, you know, it's funny, uh, I don't know if it's just because they're sitting around and drunk, but no, it seems to me like it does when he starts talking about one of them. .
The eyes just thought about crying, maybe they just missed it because they're drunk, but that's funny, I don't know if that's funny, that could be pretty cruel, but it's like they're trying to wait to see what he's going to say about they. And you know, the best thing about it is that no one really cares, it's just a comedy show, I mean, I'm the one who has to be bad, so you know what you're coming there for and if someone says something like me. I guess it hurts your feelings, you don't have to be mad about it because it happened in this environment in a comedy way, so it's really unfortunately, it's a lot of fun to know that it actually affects the person he's talking about, okay, I do.
I'm sorry, uh, I know. everyone likes it when people keep going so let's keep it up you guys are to comedy what wayne brady is to black people. I have seen them dance. Have you ever seen that Blue Collar TV when he dances at the end? Holy, remember how GE Smith, how he appeared on Saturday Night Live, you make him look like Baryshnikov in ecstasy, you've always remained the cutting edge man, you really have it, with that Keith Partridge haircut and that ferret growing on your lips. Jesus, that mustache should come with chaps and a nipple ring.
What are you thinking? They drive you around with that gay walrus mustache on National Friday, you look like a guy Tonya Harding would rock in a 78 Nova playing cards and slot machines. You like them like Martha Stewart Stewart. You are a billionaire. You're like Donald Trump. without the funny tv show, seriously Jeff, even though you are a giant comedy star, you deserve your success and look, you made enough money that you don't have tolive in the south, but you choose to do so, so you are. You're the real deal, congratulations, yes, they look like the corpse of Lucille's Ronald McDonald balls and then they pushed him down a stretch to there.
It's okay, you've been stitched thousands of times, but it still makes you sad to look at it. You are like AIDS. quilt, what a night, a couple of trolls, a fairy and a giant, all chasing a little sunken-eyed monster who is obsessed with jewelers. that's a bar right there the great Carl Reiners here this is very exciting yes yes Carl Carl, you're such a comedy icon that Joan named one of those shitty watches she sells on QVC after you. It's uh, it's the edition. Carl Reiner has liver stained hands and time is running out. Mario Canton is here Mario Mario. you're a big mouth fairy I wish I could say my dad must have been Devin I'm sorry I wish I could take the subtitles off because I'll watch it but I don't I think I want it I'll just keep my eyes up so I want to see the joke coming because I'd rather let them listen to it, maybe there's a subtitle, but let me see, oh, here we go, fix that, okay. go back to that said when you came out of the closet stained hands and time is running out Mario Canton is here Mario you're a loud little fairy your dad must have been devastated when you came out Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond Hello Saint You Are a monster, Brad, how are you going to stick your head that far up Ray Romano's ass with those screws in your neck?
Cummings is here for a reason I guess, I guess since Kathy and Joan have a lot of gay fans, we needed someone with no fans who obviously knows the answer to the question hey, who do you have to ruin by talking about sexually degrading yourself to get ahead? And show business? Tom Arnold is here to find Roseanne's ex-husband who is here. Joan actually named another one of her shitty wives, it's the Tom Arnold who never stops ticking and used to come in a giant furry box, yeah that's the bar over there too, we finally get comedy.
Legends, it seems like you smell like urine, it's true. I'm impressed, you're here, Gilbert, you know? uh you know we do these things, you have to buy new clothes, you have to take a week off from work, but you showed up, you tightened your belt and you came, you brought David Carradine, yeah, that was great, that was a great, great joke Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers, everyone heard your boy, what have you done to your upper lip? Did you blow a holy hive? You look like Steven Tyler, the rash of life, seriously, you're not the only one here, all these rubber faces that blur in your head, I used to look your age now you don't even look like your kind that all the others are drinking and that's not true it's not true I've never heard you say holy shit what did I do to my face I look like a surprise it's catfish salad you're absolutely hysterical, all funny guy, that's the honest truth of God, everyone thinks that you're funny.
I think you're the best and at your age you're still relevant, you're still cool and you even had a boob job a few years ago. You are every man's dream. and by that I mean all the men who dream about titty and a crocodile, congratulations, thanks, Pillsbury chewer boy, that was a refreshing change these days, the only time your grace is on a repeat you've done, uh, You've really tried to hold on. after Seinfeld you had shows like Bob Patterson and listen to those shows they disappeared faster than a plate of Percocet in Farrah Fawcett's house she seems to be awake right now you've been in more shit than Andy Dick's penis look at your Deus fat old ladies and an Asian I feel like I'm on a bus to Atlantic City and Betty White uh, I'll take women I would masturbate with 30 years ago Alex, what a cruel joke, three women you would want to do it 30 years ago and one me.
Wouldn't it be 30 beers from now? Fat lazy drunk. Okay, your liver has more holes in it than Mel Gibson's apology. You're, uh, your liver is so black. Lisa Lampanelli tried to shove it up her ass and never call again. Art by your friend George. Takei is here, car to bother you, George, I know it couldn't be easy, being a gay Japanese in the 50s, I mean, it had to be almost impossible to pronounce glory hole with a Japanese accent, our guest of honor now? ? Great, the great William Shatner, everything, Bill, it was a great entrance when I heard someone was coming on a horse.
I thought, wow, the network is really going to let Andy Dick and Lisa Lampanelli get away with this, but Bill, you. Not only are you brilliant, old and fat, you are an inspiration, you prove that having no talent can be seen as hip and ironic, you act better than Betty White's bladder, TJ Hooker, the only thing I remember from that show. It was your hair and that sexy girl what's her face Adrian is a doctor what uh what happened to her must have been a boy you're a humanitarian you work with a foundation to bring peace to the Middle East and uh whatever you're doing keep going so because it's really working, it's really working, you know, one of the most surreal parts of this business is that I get to stand here and make fun of a legend like you, you're a huge part of my youth and it made Captain Kirk bigger than life. life and honestly no actor who ever lived could have done more with that role and that and the fact that you continue to do the best work you've ever done today when statistically you should be. dead, he is really very inspiring, thank you very much, thank you all, really, isn't he?
Isn't it about to be cancelled? Keep it up, by Jimmy Kimmel, wow, that was great, Jim, I've never seen you be funny on TV. Before Jimmy, how the hell is that show still on the air? That wasn't the premise of a joke, it was a real question. I don't want to say that no one sees it, but more people have seen Dennis Rodman reading this is not a true, oh yeah, by the way, Pam Kid Kid Rock wanted to be here but he got stuck in a 20 year old Corolla. Look at you, horse-toothed bastard Corolla. You get a bite of two every time you smile.
I remember waterproofing my terrace. an Italian word that means an eyebrow love lines only in America what a crappy show love lines are yes, teenagers calling to complain about their abortions and anal warts it's like listening to Andy Dick's answering machine messages talking uh speaking of anal Warts, it's good to see Courtney Love here Courtney, what the hell happened to you? You had a great band, you're a very talented actress, and your career ended faster than Sarah Silverman's, surrounded by guys who can't help her in the business, thank you. God, I take that girl too, yeah, it's good to see you, yeah, Eddie Griffin, people said there wouldn't be any big movie stars here tonight and they were right, Tommy Lee, of course, it's hard to fault a guy for having a huge, but we have Everyone has seen a sex shot of Tommy and I know the camera adds five inches, but Jesus, you're so big I had to fast forward the tape to see it all.
My five year old son walked in while he was watching it great. Now I have to explain why the pretty blonde girl is being stabbed with the harpoon, of course, that brings me to Pam, his beautiful goddess. I'm, Pam, I love you, Pam, I've been a fan of yours for so long, but I have to say I'm watching. you in that sex tape was like a whole new experience for me because up until then I had never seen anyone have gonorrhea before, yeah that was weird, that's funny, okay I'll stop it again, but it's funny because when he said, " Okay, parents here.” She started blushing and as if she thought he was going to say nice things about it, here we go, you're a vegetarian, but you have no problem swallowing a moose, you're environmentally conscious, but you've caused more seeds to be produced. spilled on the Department of Agriculture I have been a fan of yours for so long and I feel terrible that you are going to be abused here today who are these nobodies who are these nobodies that are here to make fun of you people like Lisa Lampanelli I'm sure that she will come here and be mean and fat and, you know what, you know what?
She kept him on the cover of Playboy so many times and there was no need for Hugh Hefner to do it, anyway. But you didn't have to go You're multi-talented You have a TV show You're involved in many humanitarian causes You've even written two novels You're busier than Courtney's pharmacist What about books, Pam? you have two novels, two novels, now you have written more books than you have read. I love your stacked program. Show your range and show everyone that you can jerk off to a sitcom no matter how unfunny it is. I love it. Get it, it's a double meaning, yes, you work in a bookstore, there are Stacks there and you are a stack, so we call it stacked, that's very funny, I love it, okay, this is the idea, guys, she, she, He works in a jewelry store and we call it a pearl necklace.
Do you think starring in a show about books and reading is like Tom Cruise starring in a show about vaginas? Now I'll say this Pam, I'm seriously a big fan of yours and you know we're going to make fun of you. a lot here, but you get to the level you've reached as a true genius, it really is an absolute genius, people can't help but love you, people can't help but love me, you're incredibly talented and you're America's sweetheart, you're Canadian, but those tits were made in America, thank you very much, thank you everyone, keep up the good work for Cat Williams everyone, isn't that adorable?
What kind of cute person he is, holy cat, you're like Afro Sheen, some white people have heard of you, but nobody knows what you do, man, being a pimp ain't easy, especially when he got a spot in the phone books to hit a Katt Williams flavored Flame Snoop iced tea, it's great, there are so many black dicks here I feel like we're doing it. this roast and Lisa Lampanelli's mouth, thank you, at least it's iced tea, holy iced tea, fossil, holy, you're so old, the first thing you bought with the money from your record contract was your freedom on your first album, the word n was black the more there is here a little more when it comes to movies Maybe you should do something less Saint from Soul Plane that was such a horrible shame on black people Brigitte Nielsen tried to delete it Bridget Nielsen is here it's good to see you sing baby, uh, I guess you're in rehab and I really hope that works out for you, but seriously, if you want to stop repeating the disgusting things you've done in the past, why don't you sew yourself up?
Is so big. Sylvester Stallone left his career there, stupid God, you are a great, great macabre woman. I'm talking to you, carrots, Jesus, what happened to your face? Snoop, here, what happened to your face. Snoop smoked so much hemp that he wants to hit a rope. Snoop you are full of toxins you have killed people and they have banned you from entering every country on the planet you are like Chinese toothpaste and now uh Esteban or Flavor Flav this is real this exciting work it really is it is an honor. go uh I've never roasted an oily corpse like turd with teeth before look at you I love the crown you look like King Lear got caught in a forest fire you're a black mother you're like a skeleton wrapped in duct tape You look like Idi Amin after a three-year crack binge on the Sun, okay, call, well, you're the godfather, you're one of the most memorable people in entertainment history and I love the Viking helmet.
I guess it's not the only big, cold Scandinavian thing you've ever stuck your head into, thank you all, okay please stop, here's my pause button, wow, and that thing lasted 30 minutes and flew by Okay, that was long, thank you. You guys to see Rockland's reaction, make sure you like it. And subscribe, the funniest part, like I said, is Lisa Lampanelli taking direct bullets out of nowhere, you don't even see it coming and he's like which ones were the best, bro, what's up with the ice cream? tea that was very fun, he brought his um, he brought his ring and it was another one that nailed me.
I forgot, well anyway, thanks for watching, make sure you like it. Subscribe and I'll see you next time, peace.

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