Designing the rest of your life | Dave Evans | TEDxSanFranciscoSalon

I'm Dave Evans and I help out with a guy named Bill Burnett, my partner in crime, Bill can't be here today, but Bill is staying there and ten years ago we founded something called Stanford Life Design Lab, so what do we do? at the Stanford Life design level, of course, we teach classes we teach a lot of people just

designing

their

life

, two third and fourth year students we teach how to design their Stanford to first and second year students we teach how to design the professional to master's and doctoral students and postdocs we teach everyone we teach about 15 to 20% of all students at Stanford now these are smart people what do they need to take this class work ethic you figure this out well, let's see what they have to say about it what students really think This question, so we asked some of them, we went to a career fair, you know why they are taking these things, so we asked them the question: what are you going to do with

your

life

after you graduate?

I'm curious what you would think about those inte

rest

ing responses to that. The question sounds so inte

rest

ing. I was going to go to medical school, but some grades change. I think I'm going to go to law school. My personal favorite. I have no idea. Well, what's going on here now. We don't wait all day. these seven clueless Stanford students to make them look bad, okay this is really easy stuff together don't forget they were at a career fair seriously hello actually you know my name and I'm desperately unemployed please save me . what's going on and these are the answers we're getting well intelligent doesn't mean clear well educated doesn't mean focused or well intentioned so we have this question so again we formed the life design mission a life design lab in our The mission is apply the innovation principles of design thinking to the complicated problem of

designing

your

life in and after college.

Now the color words, if we click on them and give you a technical document, they are very educational material, pedagogically deep material, you know, and that is very interesting but with a kind of jargon answered what do you really mean? Well, what we really mean is this, we mean we're the kids who teach the classes to help you figure out what you want to be when you grow up and everyone's like ooh, can I? take the class, everyone says, never let everyone say we've been listening there for ten years, thousands of people say, can I take the class?

That's why we wrote the book, that's why we're here today because everyone has this question. Now, by the way, even the way we frame it here allows you to say it because I don't know about you, but I personally have no intention of finishing growing up. How many of you want to finish growing? How many do I want to continue growing? Well, that's a trick question, so maybe we should reframe this a bit. Maybe one of the guys teaches classes to help you continue discovering what you want to be next. That's a better way to put it. but still the question remains important: why do so many people ask this question?

Why is this so difficult to do? There are many reasons, but one of them is that people are stuck, people are surprised, are they in a bad situation? It's a tough place to get out of there, what are you going to do? You know, unless another friendly cow comes along and one of the big causes of this is what we call dysfunctional beliefs, dysfunctional beliefs that are very popular ideas but they're not particularly true. They are certainly not useful and it is marked as my father. They are not generative. A couple of examples, for example, a very, very common, very popular question.

I bet you've even heard it recently. Hey, what's your passion? Friends, what is your passion? Which is your best? you follow how you know you are passionate who knows your passion are you doing your passion? are you are you here is the problem why the dysfunctional baby is fine because it turns out that he does according to the resource of some of our colleagues at Stanford Bill. Damon has found that about eight out of ten people answer the question what is your passion with either I don't know or which one did you want to hear first, either of those answers means what is your passion, not a good organizing principle for figuring out. what the rest of your life is about let's not start with a question that leaves eight out of ten people in a recovery case when everything they are being is normal, dysfunctional, bad idea, let's try another very common idea, hey, are you being the best? version of you you're really you're the best are you sure that this life you're living is this are you really sure is this and was that you're not missing out oh my god you're not settling you're settling I mean we're in San.

Francisco we don't saddle up here here's the problem if there is an old commercial refrigerator you know that the good is the enemy of the best and the best is the enemy of the best are you peeing yourself? better or are you being the best we can? It was a great halftime talk, but here's the problem: what we've noticed is that they all contain more vitality than one life allows them to live, meaning there's more than one there now. I'm in my fifth. career, but I'm old, I'm 64 years old, I have four point seven grandchildren, one of them in November and you know, I've been a lot of different things and how does the best compare?

Hey, the best. Something means singular exclusive optimization, you know. It is without a doubt better than all the alternatives to achieve it, only one set of criteria can be used to fairly judge all the different possibilities, does that really work with your life? No, it does not work. I miss my grandfather. better than my author self, is my other self better than my entrepreneur self or my educator self is a dumb question, you can't compare them, they are completely different, so the rest of that soliloquy should be and the false better is the enemy of available better here is the problem you have subscribed to this idea you have decided that you have to be your best self and there is no better one you just decided to be unhappy for the rest of your life don't go there, come on don't go there, it's a bad idea let me demonstrate to you how this really works because what I want to do is ask your question I would find out now who does this all the time how many lives do you have maybe the nations explain the question we are I'm going to do a little experiment now it's called the Gedanken experiment which is the technical name for a thought experiment and in German and sometimes you do them in your head because you can't do them anywhere else, you have to do them imagine too, let's imagine that in In fact, we have now shown that it is a multiverse, that there are infinite universes parallels in the cosmos, separated by angstroms in the 19th dimension, if we only knew how to measure it, but they are out there, believe me, we have discovered that too. we can create concurrent consciousness by implementing wormholes and string theory so that there are infinite universes and you are present and all of them and you can be aware of all of you at the same time, how cool is that, but there is one really strange thing about it. in the multiverse you have to reserve a place in advance it's like an open table you know we get a call in advance so to enter the multiverse we just need to know how many of you would like, you can have as many as you want. all the different versions of you and isn't it like Wolverine getting older and everyone dying in the fall? we have to start again and again notice that everyone is there, everything is fine, you are healthy, everything you need is there, you can even repeat it another person had the life they are in now you love to do it again if you could find it you can repeat as many times as you want the first time we took her to Disneyland my lovely daughter Lisa decided a good way to spend a whole day was to ride Dumbo 42 times after 38 honey I want to do it again yeah okay so let's keep doing it with less than 42 Dumbo, you got it, but I want you now to think about all the different lives you could have and one more that you would finally have.

Say, I just don't know what I'd do with that one, so pick a number in your head. How many lives could you have in the multiverse? I'm going one, two, three, one, what I said, four, shout your number, you escape. a number your head participatory experience here we go 1 2 3 very 10 7 and 18 ok medium 12.2 which means look at the numbers greater than 1 right, there is more than one of you and we all know this, so the reframing is really simple look there is very useful, you know, and in fact, they are the center fees exercise that we do in our courses in our book that we call the Odyssey plan.

The Odyssey plan consists of three different versions of the next 5 years. You will have completely different versions. you know this because of course there is more than one of you you can't have an idea about your future you have to have some ideas about your future because there are many of you and it's never too late it's never really too late it's never really too late late yeah, by the way, it's never too late because we're doing these things and we did the book and Stanford sent us to 16 cities and all these things people suddenly say, well, God, you guys hang out with young people a lot.

You talk to college students about a lot of Millennials, you know? Don't you really think this is a question about youth prisons? What is really true is that you know that there is a certain point at which it is no longer the question. Let me rephrase what you just asked. Me, Dave, you and Bill have been traveling a lot, have you noticed that a time has passed where most people don't care anymore and are just waiting to die and no, we haven't realized that and the first big meeting we had? 40 people in New York come out and talk about things like we're talking here, right in the middle, in the center, of the class of 1953, there's our Stanford student, you know, it's Connie and Connie is 87 years old and we do this exercise .

Do this exercise in the room with the three versions of your future and, of course, I can immediately see that she is stuck. Well, she's 87. You know what that is like, honey? I can help? Oh yes, could you please? I have so many ideas that don't. I don't know where to start oh oh that's the problem you have, you really want to be Connie when you grow up, trust me when I do that little exercise we just did. My anecdotal observation is that the older the average age of a crowd, the larger the number. You're not just getting older, you're not even getting better, you're getting bigger with time, you realize how spacious and huge you are now, why the world really is, it just gets better and worse at the same time.

That's Connie. It's really never too late. I just received an email from a woman who said thank you very much. I just wanted you to know that you can really help people because I have a dear husband whose parents talked him into it when he was around. a child who really was worthless and unfortunately believed them and for the 38 years of our marriage I have been trying to cheer him up and he has really been stuck and hasn't been able to get anywhere except some of his ideas have helped him and he actually he's moving, he's finally moving, that's not because we wrote an amazing book, books aren't going to fundamentally change you, he's an amazing person, we're all amazing people, it's just that you might have some things on your mind. what have you got stuck that you don't need anymore is it really true it's never too late yes it really is so build your path by designing your life now what does that mean the secret sauce is this design thinking so briefly Design thinking is one of several ways of thinking with engineering think share think solve problems very well understand that is an excellent good way to build a bridge build if it works today build it tomorrow it works well you know it is a great solution we have business thinking about business you never write you have never done it, you would never have enough profitability or enough customer satisfaction, but you can optimize, you will have marriage figures, you can learn to think in a kind of optimization, as a kind of research, as we do at the University, start with dependent, independent hypotheses. variables a whole series of steps to get to the critical question is a wonderful analytical approach so I can solve it my way I can optimize my path because I can analyze my path but all those simple problems well-defined solutions well-interested problem The solutions do not solve complicated problems when you don't know what you're looking for until you find it like your own life and that's when you have to build your way forward in design thinking as a way to build your way forward. and solve a complicated problem, it also has two descriptions, a process and a set of mindsets, the process has five steps, you can start with everything, really understand what is going on, then define your point of view, then have some ideas, test them and try them.

Before you come into the world and before you do any of that, don't forget to accept reality as it is because, trust me, you pass by a place that looks the same as it does today, it doesn't matter.Wherever you are, you're starting in the right place. The mind sets the way a designer looks. Two things are quite simple. You know, we started with curiosity. Oh, that's interesting, which will get us talking to a lot of people. Radical collaboration doesn't mean radical ideas, that means radical speaking. to everyone and by doing so I'll probably get a new point if I'm going to reframe the way I think about some things.

I am going to take into account the steps of the process so as not to put myself on my head or behind me and eventually when in doubt, do something, stop thinking and analyzing, do things that we build and do to think, so what is it? This designing a life thing you guys really talk about well it's a lot of stuff it's all too much I mean okay so could you simplify it if you're not thinking straight? Yes, there are three things that become curious. people try things that really are ah no, let's take these victorious cure your curiosity by chasing Layton wonderful we know it seems that if you've cured your curiosity curing curiosity means you live - the kind of life like my friend Stu did when he was over ninety years old and he was dying, he was in palliative care in his country and he was restless a little and it looked like he might have had some pain in him and his daughter said dad, do you want me to hit the morphine button he says no no no It's only good to do this once I don't miss it that's a serious curiosity I wonder what my death will be like that's going to be very interesting that's a guy this curator is curious but now to make this accessible you know it's not the end of a boy who already knows how this is constructed well allows you to use a story we use a story a particular life will illustrate this also in the book a person called Clara in life we ​​call her Claudia It turns out that I know this story well because it turns out that she is my wife, okay, nepotism, even though she's a great example of how to do this right, so I'm curious how she starts out being curious about the fact that what do I do now because she did exactly two things for thirty years she raised her children and made money single mother the children graduate they approach retirement I don't have a single idea what to do with myself I don't have a single passion I don't have one Plan B has nothing, so what? what I do?

I decide that the world is full of interesting things and I'm going to start being aware of what I didn't used to notice and make way for the only thing I can remember is what I used to wear. Being a feminist and I still am and I think it's very important that the women's thing is important to me, so she starts to notice and look and she stumbles upon this thing called the California Women's Foundation and she talks to some of these people. . she's sitting in the cafe I was at church and someone announces that there's a mediation clash it was that's interesting what mediation is anyway and she leaves and those curiosities start to heal him and turn into talking to people now When you talk to me what do you get?

It's not about getting the job. It's not about getting the money. It's not about getting the transaction. It's just about getting the story. When you talk to people, you're just getting the story. So she does this and she gets the mediator's story and she finds it really interesting and they invite her to maybe take a class and come observe and she goes to the Women's Foundation, you know, meets with the president, attends a meeting, they invite her to come, you know, she just follows. He's chasing Layton wonderfully and she doesn't even know what she's looking for, but she'll know when she finds him now you say maybe I'm, you know like Amy, I'm an insurance company, I don't want to do all that. talk how that works what's the secret to getting people to talk to you it's very simple interested it's interesting interested it's interested curiosity really works if you've decided who a coin therapy I didn't even know horses had depression no, no, we use horses to help people with depression, they already know it and therefore equity is like a real safe, they can actually make a good fit and therefore they find an equivalent interest.

Now, how many of you probably think you know? How interesting do you think your life is? for you, yeah, about that, most people do, if it turns out I've done my research and, hey, you know, Aloise, your cleavage therapist, I think what you do is fascinating and you think what you do is Fascinating, we share the fact that we both think. You are so cool that we could have an interesting conversation, interested, it is really interesting and if you spark real curiosity, it is a pill of power inside you that will help you move forward, but I don't know how to do this that will eventually lead you to try it.

Things when it comes to trying things out, they're about setting the bar low and making it clear. I just had a cup of coffee, he says, and then I went to I sat in a meeting, you know, I watched a class and then I'm going to take the class that she just took the class that she didn't sign up for isn't certified eventually she's doing mediation. on the side you know and what you want to do then is repeat until you're committed there's no deadline so Claudia kept going with these things and it turned out that the one that she noticed kept coming back to over and over again was about the homeless, one of the city's philanthropists said, hey, I hear you're looking for things to do, follow me, take a tour of the homeless services center in Santa Cruz, you can't be here with me today because you're coming back from DC after having She's only been at the national conference on homelessness for a week because she's on her way to becoming a national thought leader on solving this problem after seven years of being president of the Homeless Center in Santa Cruz where we live, so repeat until you commit and that's what it means to design your life.

What we are really saying is that we are designing our vitality. The goal is to be curious, to proactively cure that curiosity. In the same way. in the same way, eventually Claudia, they are very approachable and then you talk to a group of people, it's about the people, you hear the social connection of all of us and then you try things and you keep trying until you realize, oh, actually I am. by doing things and that is the way you can design a long and happy life. Well, I'm almost out of time. In fact, I'm eleven point two seconds long, so wrapping this up.

Why does this work? What is it about? What is it really about? This focuses on the human being. Design thinking was called human-centered design when it was conceived in the 60s. It's about what works for people, so applying a human process to human life is a real thing, real tools for real people. , that's what it's all about, just like any life. We're just trying to do this a little bit more humanely and the response we're getting is that that more humane approach is leaving people more hopeful and a little bit helped, so when we ask ourselves about longevity, what kind of life? we try to help? people experience that we're probably going up, but things happen like we want to be more passionate and balanced and super powerful and connected and kale lovers and innovative and just stunning, you know, let's have long, stunning lives, you know, that's great. , but we can?

Let's not lose our focus on being a little more human and if we pursued that it would be something worthy. Thank you.