Fan-O-Rama: A Futurama Fan Film

CAPTAINS LOG: SPACE... SEEMS TO GO ON AND ON FOREVER LIKE YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT WAS "NEVER" CANCELED, WITHOUT AT ALL FORCING YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN EPISODE IN THE HALF. AFTER A THOUSAND LIGHT YEARS, I AM ABOUT TO COMPLETE MY 15 BEER MISSION. THIS IS THE ALDRINS BUZZ USB WITH A FUEL DELIVERY FOR B.B.R. BASE... FINISHED. YOU ARE LOOKING HOT! ABORT THE MISSION! ...ON. DON'T TELL ME HOW TO FLY THIS SHIP!... DONE. UGGHH OPEN THE DOOR TO BEER BAY, PAL. WE HAVE ACHIEVED TAKEOFF. (LAUGHTER) HEHEHE, HERE FOR ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL MISSION! *bottles clink KNOW IT, FRIEND!

DEATH CLOCK, DO NOT FEAR THE REAPER. I WOULD HIT HIM. HAVE. It was very cold. *MECHANICAL ROBOT SOUND NEXT TIME EVERYONE LOVES HYPNOTOAD. (Announcer) UH OH! IT LOOKS LIKE ALPHA BASE NEEDS ANOTHER FUEL DELIVERY! *CLICK OF EMPTY BOTTLES ADMIRAL! WE ARE OUT OF FUEL!! - OH - - YOU - - GOD - WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHAT CAN WE DO? *"ZOD" ZOD HELLEBORE HERE TO PRESENT MY NEW EARTH BEER, OLDE FORTRAN LIGHT EXTRA DARK. AS THE FIRST IN MY LINE OF NEW "HOSTILE" FLAVORS, OLDE FORTRAN NEEDS YOU TO WRITE THE OLDE FORTRAN EXTRA DARK LIGHT JINGLE!

THE TALENTED LAZY... *Huh?? (FOREIGN SOUND) I'M TALKING TO YOU... *zod WHO WRITE THE WINNING JINGLE WILL TAKE HOME A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF OLDE FORTRAN LIGHT EXTRA DARK. THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. *zod ONCE YOU TRY THE OLDE FORTRAN LIGHT EXTRA DARK, YOU JUST WON'T WANT ONE. *zod (JASP) ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? YES... IF THOSE WERE GIRLS, THEY WERE VERY HOT!!! AAAHHHH...NO MATTER. SINCE BECK DOESN'T TAKE MY CALLS AND FOGHAT BROKE (STATIC) BRANNIGAN (STATIC) DIAGNOSED HERNIA TRUE STORY. Hello NIXON! It's your old friend, BENDER. IT'S YOUR OLD FRIEND, BENDER BENDER! HOW DO YOU GET MY PRIVATE VID PHONE NUMBER?

IT IS QUALIFIED I WON IT PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH PRESIDENT PUTIN. WITH PRESIDENT PUTIN. SO UM... WHAT DO YOU WANT? THERE IS THIS CONTEST THAT GIVES A FREE SUPPLY OF BEER FOR LIFE. THAT'S GIVING AWAY A FREE LIFETIME SUPPLY OF BEER. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WRITE THE WINNING JINGLE. SO...DID YOU CALL ME? THE PRESIDENT OF THE EARTH, TO HELP HIM WRITE A BEER JINGLE? NOOOOO I CALLED YOU PRESIDENT OF THE EARTH TO HELP ME SET UP THAT CONTEST SO I COULD WIN THAT FREE BEER. OOHH, THIS SOUNDS INTERESTING... HAHA I LIKE A GOOD RIGGING HAHA WE COULD START WITH SOME INCRIMINANT PHOTOS OF THE CONTEST JUDGE.

YEAH? AND THEN, AN ANONYMOUS CALL TO THE TABLOIDS. YEAH!!! A CABLE WRITTEN HERE. A DEATH THREAT THERE. AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, NIXON IS SWIMMING IN FREE BEER!! THERE IS A THREAT OF DEATH. AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, NIXON IS SWIMMING IN FREE BEER. NOOOOO!!! I CLEARLY SAID I WOULD GET THAT BEER FOR FREE. HAHAHAHAHAHA.... FORGET IT! TRICKY DICK ONLY CARE FOR ONE PERSON...ME!!!! ARROOOO!!!! WELL.. FRY? Oh, BENDER... I'M ALWAYS GRATEFUL WHEN YOU SETTLE FOR ME. AND YOU KNOW WHAT!?!? THIS JINGLE COULD BE MY OWN PERSONAL DRINK LICENSE! I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF WINNING A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF SOMETHING.

AND THAT WITH MY ABILITY TO COMPUTE CRAZY RHYMES AND YOUR ABILITY TO... EXIST. WE'RE A SHOE FOR THAT BEER, BABY! AND ALL I HAVE DONE IS EXIST SINCE THE 20TH CENTURY! *HAHA BEER! BEER!! BEER!!!! (Echoing in space) WHO IS HERE HARMONIZING? AND ABOUT THE BEER NOTHING LESS. Admiral BENDER, I THINK WE HAVE A NEW MISSION. I THINK WE HAVE A NEW MISSION. THERE WILL BE NO ONE TO STOP US... THIS TIME. *STRANGE SCARY SOUNDS ARE THEY STILL HERE DRINKING BEER?? NOOOOO! WE ENDED UP RUNNING. YEAH! I can't believe you two let me load the boat by myself.

YOU'RE RIGHT, WE'RE- NOOOOO!!!! I'M SORRY. Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that we were supposed to leave two hours ago. AND? AND... HOW DO YOU THINK THE PROFESSOR IS GOING TO TAKE THIS NEWS? HOW DO YOU THINK THE PROFESSOR WILL TAKE THIS NEWS? GOOD NEWS FOR EVERYONE! I'm so glad you haven't left yet. OH LORD. BEFORE YOU LEAVE THAT BOX OF GIRAFFES, I NEED YOU TO DELIVER THIS OLD SCIENCE EXPERIMENT OF MINE TO CHAPEK 9. TO CHAPEK 9. IT JUST SOLD FOR DOUBLE ITS VALUE ON EBAY! *THREATENING MUSIC UM, DO WE REALLY WANT THOSE CUTE GIRAFFE IN THE CARGO HOLD NEXT TO WHAT LOOKS LIKE A LEAKING, HAND-MADE BERYLLIUM JUDGMENT DAY DEVICE?

OH GOD NO NO, EINSTEINIUM IS MUCH CHEAPER - 119. AND THE GIRAFFE? OH DO NOT WORRY. IF ANY OF THEM GET TOO CLOSE TO THE GAME DAY DEVICE, JUST USE THIS SPRAY BOTTLE TO GIVE THEM A GENTLE CORRECTION. IT'S FULL OF ACID. COOL. Oh, and watch out for space pirates. THEY LOVE ATOMIC ATOMIZING DEVICES. HMMMMMM. NOW, OUT! COME ON GUYS. DON'T FORCE ME TO DO ALL THE WORK. YES, FRY. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ALL THE WORK. NYAH NYAH NYAH... LOOK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT COMBAT? YOUR MUTINY IN STROMBOS 4... IT'S NOT THAT I ENJOY YELLING AT YOU, I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.

AW, SHUT UP BABY, I KNOW! AND YOU ARE A BAD INFLUENCE ON FRY. HEY? KNOW THAT YOU WILL DO EVERYTHING I TELL YOU. FAKE! YESTERDAY I TOLD HIM TO FALL DEAD! SPREE! OH, I KNEW I WOULDN'T. YOU GOT LUCKY. SUICIDE CABINS ARE EXPENSIVE. YES, THAT'S WHY I BOUGHT HER A GIFT CARD. HAHAHA. ZOD HELLABORE (SINGING) BRINGS ME FREE BEER (SINGING) FOR LIFE! (SINGING) MAN, NOT AGAIN! HI AMY. HELLO FRY!!! AHHHH *ANGRY CHINESE* SLOP SOUNDS WOW! AWEHH YOU DID IT AGAIN! HA HA HA! EWWW. Hello HERMES! SWEET GONDOR CONDOR! THIS GAME DAY DEVICE LOOKS MORE DEADLY THAN A GREEN SNAKE ON A SUGARCANE PLANT!

OH. MAICANA LAUGHTER) WOW. Well, you obviously don't seem too worried. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL MUCH BETTER? IT IS IF EVERYONE SIGNED ONE OF DEEZ. WHAT IS IT? THIS IS AN UPDATED WAIVER THAT CLEARS PLANET EXPRESS FROM GROSS NEGLIGENCE IN THE PROBABLE EVENT THAT YOU ARE DEATH WHILE TRANSPORTING THIS BOMB. OH, YOU DIDN'T MAKE US SIGN ONE OF THOSE WHEN WE DELIVERED THAT BOMB TO THAT PEACE CELEBRATION AT SPHERE-ON NINE. THAT WAS NOT A BOMB. THAT WAS JUST A MISLABELLED NUCLEAR PROPULSION DISC BALL. YES, AND IT WAS VERY WONDERFUL UNTIL ZAPP BRANNIGAN CAME AND MADE IT BETTER.

IT WAS NOT THE ONLY THING HE WON! AHAHAHAHA. I'm sure I don't know what you're implying. Well, let me clarify things for you. IT'S NOT THE ONLY THING I'M REFERRING TO ABOUT YOU. AND BY WANGED UP, I WANT TO... LISTEN, JUST BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE WERE ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED ALONE IN A SEXUAL SWING ATORY FOR FIVE HOURS AND HAD TO STRIP DUE TO A TEMPERATURE MALFUNCTION, DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE WANGED UP! (ROBOT SOUNDS AND MAN'S LAUGHTER) AND BY THERMOSTAT MALFUNCTIONING, I MEAN... WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA! (MORE LAUGHING SOUNDS FROM THE ROBOT AND THE MAN) HIYAH! (SOUNDS OF ROBOT AND HOMICIDE) BENDER - OW MY ASS OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

JUST SMELL THAT FRESH AIR. AHHHHHH. *BREATHING THROUGH TENTACLES AND EXHALE (MUSIC PLAYING) (LOUDER MUSIC) (SOUNDS OF SHIP TAKING OFF.) ADMIRAL BENDER WOULD NEVER KICK ME FOR INSUBORDINATION. YOU KNOW IT, FRIEND! I HAVE TO, AH *ZOD THAT REMINDS ME, ZOD HELABORE WOULD RECOMMEND ME TO DRINK ANOTHER BEER TO AVOID A HANGOVER. I've had enough of these drunken games. GAMES, BEER IS NOT A GAME! BEER IS LIFE. DID YOU AT LEAST SECURE THE CARGO? YEAH, I, UMM, POWER THE TEACHER'S DAY DEVICE AND SEAL THE GIRAFFE IN AN AIRTIGHT CONTAINER...SO HMPH! IDIOT. ALERT! SUFFOCATING GIRAFFE CHARGE! ALERT! CHARGE RADIATION- (MOANS) (WHATEVER SOUND A MINIATURE SYNTHETIC GIRAFFE MAKES) IDIOTS, WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED.

NORMALLY THEY DO NOT LET US HANDLE DANGEROUS CARGO. DAMN GIRAFFE HAVE SHARP PARTS! PRETTY SHARP. You'd think they would have made that distinction by now! THESE NEW REGULATIONS STATE THAT IT MUST BE A DUPLICATE SIGNATURE.. HELLO! AND HOW IS EVERYONE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY AND WHAT IS NOT? IT'S VERY GOOD, DR. Z. AND MY DEAR FRIEND, HERMES, HOW IS THE FAMILY? OH, COME ON. GIVE ME A CLAW! EVEN A GRADE 55 WOULD RECOGNIZE THE 4A DESIGNATION, WHICH MEANS IT IS A TRIPLICATED SIGNATURE FORM, WITH RUDIMENTARY FINGERPRINT, DNA AND FECES PROFILES IN THE ADDENDUM. WELL, SPLASH! I just don't know what's going on in the central bureaucracy.

I MEAN... (GARGAR. SPIT. SIP. TASTE.) BAD NEWS FOR EVERYONE. WHAT'S UP PROFESSOR? I just remembered the"doomsday device" that I just sold. THAT I FORGOT TO REPLACE THAT DAMAGED PROPELLER ON THAT DOWN-OFF "DEVICE OF THE DAY" I JUST SOLD. IT IS PROBABLY LEAKING FROM HYPERFLONIC FLACTATION! THERE IS NOTHING IN THAT PHRASE THAT I DON'T LIKE. IF IT EXPLODES, IT WILL KILL THE ENTIRE CREW! HE WILL KILL THE ENTIRE CREW! IT'S REALLY NOT A PROBLEM, BECAUSE I HAD THEM SIGN UPDATED NO-FAULT DEATH WAIVERS. HERMES! IF THAT PIECE OF TRASH I BUILT EXPLODES, IT WILL DESTROY THE NEAREST SOLAR SYSTEM AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MY FLAWLESS EBAY RATING!

UNDERSTOOD, PROFESSOR. I WILL PERSONALLY TAKE CARE OF THIS DANGEROUS MISSION. YEAH. YEAH. ZOIDBERG! BRING THAT BOMB HERE! THAT HONOR! WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP... I REALLY HATE THAT CRAB. ZOD'S BEER. (SINGING) LOOKING FOR ZOD'S BEER. (SINGING) I HAVE TO FIND ZOD'S BEER. (SINGING) FOR MY ROBOT. (SINGING) THAT'S ME, BABY! I I I. DR. Z IN THE VIDTELO. START ZOIDBERG PROTOCOL. *AHHH IGNORED CALL. DID YOU JUST POSTED A PHOTO WITH THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE? MY FANS DEMAND INFORMATION ABOUT MY DAILY ROUTINE. OH AND IT'S SO PHOTOGENIC. DON'T FORGET THE MUSICAL. MUSICAL! ALSO I AM HUMBLE. OH THE MOST HUMBLE.

YOU COULD GO STUPIDLY ELSEWHERE PLEASE! I don't care if I do, we have a beer clink to feel. YES, LEELA, WE'RE ON A ZOD MISSION! DO NOT TOUCH ME. YOU ARE AMAZING. WHEN ALL THE WORK CAN WAIT. (SINGING) AND THE CAPTAIN IS SOMEONE YOU HATE. (SINGING) WELL I THINK SHE'S THE BEST. (SINGING) YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH HER CHEST. (SINGING) Hey! THE BEST PART OF DRINKING BEER... (SINGING) IS OLDE FORTRAN LIGHT. (SINGING) EXTRA DARK. (SINGING) WHY DO I NEED A COFFEE SO BAD? AHAHAHAHA DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT, FRIEND? BEER! (SINGING) BEER!! (SINGING) BEER!!!!! (SINGING IN UNISON) IT WAS GOOD THE WAY YOU HOLD IT.

THANK YOU. JUST GO OUT! Yes, yes, captain. DO DO DO. *SOUNDS OF A FLYING MISS *EXPLOSION WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! (MORE EXPLOSIONS. VERY LOUD.) OH! I bet your stupid selfie gave away our position! AHHH, RELAX, THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST MY ADORING FANS. LAND VESSEL, SURRENDER OR BE DESTROYED. WARNING! WARNING! FANS OF YOURS, HUH? WE ARE BONES. UGH, WE'RE ROLLING, SIR. GOOD GOOD GOOD. BRANNIGAN HERE. CAPTAIN...BRANNIGAN. ZAPP...THE ZAPPER...I'M SURE YOU WERE ANNOYED LIKE MILLIONS OF OTHERS THAT WAS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS ABOMINATION OF A FAN MOVIE. UNFORTUNATELY I WAS CONCERNED WITH A D.O.O.P.

EMERGENCY. AN ALIEN PLANETS SEX MACHINE BROKE AND I HAD TO REFILL IT. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN... SEXUALLY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY WILL NOT NEED THAT PATHETIC MACHINE AGAIN. WELCOME NYMPHALLUS 6 POINT 9. AS YOU CAN SEE. THERE WAS A LEGITIMATE REASON WHY HE WAS NOT INCLUDED. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LEELA'S RESTRAINING ORDER. YOU WATCHED THE EPISODE, YOU EXPERIENCED THE INCREDIBLE... DISAPPOINTMENT OF THAT LOUSY CLIFF WILL THE CREW OF THE PLANET EXPRESS SHIP SURVIVE THE APPROACHING SPACE BATTLE? WILL LEELA SAVE HER PRECIOUS MINIATURE GIRAFFE? WHAT DID FRY SEE IN THE DEAD WATCH? What's the problem with that tentacle? ...TENTACLE THING?

WILL AMY EVER FIND THE PERFECT COLOR FOR HER NAILS? WILL THE PROFESSOR SAVE YOUR IMPECCABLE EBAY RATING? WILL ZOIDBERG GET THE GAME DAY DEVICE BACK? THESE QUESTIONS AND MANY OTHER QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED...NEVER! YOU KNOW WHY? CASH, CLAMS, MONEY. THIS PRODUCTION HAS NO TALENT, NO RIGHTS, NO MONEY... SPONSORED BY! DAMN! I TOLD YOU, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE WONG THINK. DAD? CAN WE GO TO LUNA PARK ON SATURDAY? UGHH, I'M TOO BUSY... PLEASE GGGRRRR UH-OH HONEY MY SCHEDULE JUST OPENED. I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU DAD I LOVE YOU. DEATH CLOCK (SONG) DEATH CLOCK! WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO GO.

WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE... DEATH CLOCK (SONG) DON'T FEAR THE REAPER (SONG)