David Letterman on Jimmy’s Obsession, Relationship with Howard Stern & His Son Going to College

There is no person on television that I admire more than our first guest. He is the best who has ever done this job in New York or anywhere else. Please welcome Mr. Rock and Roll, David Letterman. Oh wow, it's great to have you here! Very nice, give me, it's like that. It's a pleasure to see you, but most of all it's a pleasure to be on TV, thanks for that, and by the way, the bookmobile thing is solid, this has to be Peabody Award season. Yeah, you used to have a mobile library on your channel that took it right to the stage.

Roger Maris' family here tonight uh, yeah, yeah, the Marists are waiting for Aaron Judge, aren't they? But I thought they would be here. Sorry, it's a funny thing you mention because every night Roger Maris' family is in the audience at Yankee Stadium waiting to get their hearts broken. I know, thanks if you have to explain it, it's really nice and all reports indicate that it's fine. I heard someone start clapping, is that it or did I just misunderstand? What did you have to do? which has to do with the birth and raising of the child, yes, he is, uh, I know they tell me he's in

college

, that's right, the first year you went through that, uh, yourself, people go through This, the separation from the child who leaves home and I thought it would be nothing, but it is devastating.

Am I the only one who feels this way? No, so he's been out for a month, uh, today, and they, so, we had a truck full of garbage to take to his room and to his room, uh, man. It's good, it's not as big as the desk and then they say don't worry because you're

going

to have a lot of trash to take to the roof, we'll have grad students, non-grad students, seniors for help and then we drive to the university and there were the seniors and it's hey, hey, welcome to

college

and I said, is there a place for no?

No, you have to turn around, so I turn around the roundabout half an hour later. Hey, welcome to college I know I was at college here a minute ago, I turned around to be welcome to college, I finally found a parking spot several acres away in 96 degrees and the kid and I pulled a couch up three flights. of stairs, so is it true? Yes, that's true, no, that has to be true. I'll have to consult the manual. I don't know, but we text you and Harry from time to time. Alright. I got a message from him today and no.

I don't know, I know everyone goes through this and forgive me if I sound a little too emotional about this situation. Well he texted me today and said "guess what, no classes" and I immediately think I'm getting my money's worth here. I tell him what are you

going

to do and he says I don't know and I told him to text him back, go out and have fun, okay no the text has no voice that's why I'm doing that. Then I took pictures of him and he texted me back and I said you know cool things you see while you're on your day off at college so that's fine, and then a few minutes later a text comes and it's a uh.

The legend is uh, two old people having lunch and I'm thinking to myself, hey, let's stop all this fun we're having in college, for God's sake, easy, dude, you worry? I mean, you know, in college, uh, me. I don't know if you know this, but I went to university and when I was there, everyone wrote to you again, everyone talks about it, I didn't learn anything in common, the only thing I learned was to drink beer from the jug, you didn't need the glass, that's very good. I uh called him about a week later uh hello Harry how's this going that oh this that oh this that I said Harry, you've already met the kid who sells marijuana and I'm thinking oh, this would make me laugh a lot Harry says I can't confirm or deny uh oh yeah oh yeah I saw you uh you were Mr.

Media and by the way, thank you, thank you for inviting me on the show and thank you for being so kind. for me, uh, but you were on Monday Night Football last night, yeah, you're there talking to Kurt Gowdy, no, he's gone, Kurt County, Kirk County, gone, been over for years, oh, it was Joe Buck , yeah, yeah, I left Kurt Gowdy there. just to gauge the age of the audience and it's pretty much what I thought it would be uh and then uh on Manning's show there's Tracy Morgan, he was at Manning's castle so I'm thinking, wait a minute, he and I are.

I was supposed to be on Jimmy Kimmel's show tomorrow night and now I'm starting to feel hurt because I think maybe there was a meeting scheduled that I wasn't invited to and this morning, Howard Stern, did you hear that this morning? No, no, I can tell you something. I feel like Howard Stern is threatened by you and I feel like Howard Howard and I are very close and I feel like Howard is jealous of my admiration for you. I feel like there's something weird there, okay, well. Let me tell you my vision of power. Well, I've known Howard for a long time.

Howard used to work at a radio station in the same building where he started the Late Night show years and years ago. Oh my god, I don't. I don't know, 30 years, actually, yeah, and um, in those days, Howard was a shocking jock, Howard and I was always afraid of Howard because I didn't want Howard to say nasty things about me, right, and, uh, but he did it and and and I and. I kept thinking to myself that he must not have any feelings of his own because he said hurtful things and the more hurtful things he said, the bigger his audience would be, so I thought I was in the wrong business here, huh, over the years, Howard and I have spent some time together and I've gotten to know Howard and he was such a sweet man to apologize to for bullying me.

I'm sorry I scared you and I got to know him as a completely different guy and that's the guy I've really become friends with over the years and I only talked to him once a year uh-huh well there's a lot yeah , and last time it was a mistake, I'm, I'm, uh, it was wow, that wasn't a mistake, comedy isn't everywhere, so I have my phone on and there's a beautiful painting, a watercolor and it's something that Howard has done, you should know this, yes, he. he paints, it's a very good painting, he paints, but it's not like, uh, uh, it's not like showbiz painting, he can really paint like Tony Bennett's paintings, they're real things, so he's done this in the past and I still think I would like to have it. a Howard Stern painting and, oh, the other thing that says, well, you know you really could do it.

I could do it, yes, yes. I can show you a couple of tricks. Well, it's not exactly paint by numbers, no, no, it's a museum series. kind of quality stuff, so the phone turns on and there's a beautiful seascape or something. I'm not a bucolic scene so I texted him and said wow Howard that's amazing and then when I get home I call. him and he's like oh yeah, I sent you that by mistake, so I love Howard. I just think arm's length may be the way to go here, that's probably the case for most

relationship

s. oh, someone screaming, we talked about it, someone screamed.

Baba Booey, yes, yes. I mean, that's honest to Christ is the man's legacy and when they finally bury him they'll be idiots screaming goodbye. David Letterman is here, everyone, gentlemen, back, yeah, uh, Dave from the basketball recap Kevin, why do people call you KD, um my? First name is Kevin, okay, my last name is Durant or D. I just got off the phone with the Dolan family. They said they are talking to the commissioner and are now looking for a contractual agreement that allows them when you are not going to play during the Nets' off days, you will be able to play for the Knicks.

Comments, okay Dave, that was the last one. David Letterman annoying Kevin Durant on his Netflix show. My next guest needs no introduction. Warren Zevon. Thank you. It is not. here, very good, thank you, I appreciate that yes, that was Kevin Durant, yes, and you and Kevin Durant seemed like you really hit it off during the show, well, I will tell you that what you are experiencing there is not fake because enough time passes talking to someone about a wide variety of things and a closeness or supposed closeness develops between the two of you. I don't think it happens between you and me, no, but uh, and I felt that way about Kevin and Kevin.

He's an incredible athlete, an incredible human being and, fascinating, and he's always high, he's what you need. He enjoys. He told me that the first thing he does when he gets out of bed is light up a joint and then he gets to work and I do. Yeah, I thought it was like I had a twin, so anyway, when we finish talking to Kevin, I feel this warmth, this connection, this gratitude of a

relationship

here and I walk up to him and I say Kevin, I said you've been great. and very generous with your time and this was a year ago, this time right before basketball season and I said uh, I want to stay friends because I think we can be friends and he says yes, he says I agree and we we hug so now it becomes opening night they open in Boston playing the Celtics and before tip off because I have his text number I text him uh Kevin Dave no why it's something fun?

Yes, what is the text message number? Yes, what other number do I think? call it phone number still like the old days well I would just like to see a phone book where the hell are they now so I text him and tell him good luck and have a great game and congratulations on everything. so after the game ends I get a text with the price. Oh, it's Kevin Durant and he says thanks brother. That was it. I haven't heard from him since. Well, he thinks of you as a brother. I mean, that's nice, it was yeah, it was good. for a while, but how cool would it be if Kevin Durant and I were hanging around.

I think you can probably do it. I think you have to be persistent with Kevin, that's all. um. I wanted to mention a couple of things to you if not. First of all, I don't care when you came to Las Vegas for your show all those years ago. I lived in Las Vegas. I was at the University. I wrote in letters. I wrote 20 letters to your show asking for tickets using the names and addresses of everyone I knew. and I said if you get tickets you have to bring me the show and I went to all those shows that week and now it's very strange to be here with you at this show and not only strange but charming, I would say and I'm not a foreigner either, but you understand that from my point of view Sight there may be an element to this that sounds creepy, there's no doubt about it, you understand that you want to be even creepier?

I waited in an alley, in fact, our cleito. The band leader and I because we saw that you had rented a sports car when you were in Las Vegas and someone said that's David Letterman's rental car and we thought well, it's only a matter of time before David Letterman comes out and get into the rental car. Hours and hours went by and David Letterman never got in that rental car most of the day we looked at a rental car waiting for you to get in. Did you do it, friends, so that someone would talk to you?

Okay, because this is abhorrent. you didn't do this with Johnny oh no no Johnny scared the shit out of me yeah well I feel the same oh no well a little bit yeah but I will I'll say it over the years and years have passed no one in the world of the show has been nicer to me than Mr. Kimmel oh well oh wow thanks more stories but I feel like I'll never see you again if I do but now it's interesting because there are probably kids somewhere looking at you with the same reaction you want, I've reviewed and it's not right, no, I'm not inspired by anything and your YouTube channel, I know this is something you decided to do or one of your team decided team by team, yes, it's the best.

Get a grip, it's okay, it's just old age stuff on YouTube, it's not just stuff, these are things that most comedy bits, like the bookmobile, don't hold up if you go on a trip and put your kids in front of the computer and look. This program is just great and they actually released it today. I made a video talking about some of my favorite moments. Well, I remember that and thank you very much for doing so. It was a pleasure to do it and I promise you that. If you watch it, you'll never watch the show again.

It's not true at all. I mean, good for you and congratulations on everything, and we'll agree to disagree on this, okay, let's find another topic, okay, maybe we can get Tracy Morgan to do it? take us behind the showman now you commented how he's in his yellow Ferrari uh coming down and uh he um did it so he's and he's and he's stuck in traffic and I'm just thinking, well, well, well, but there's nothing more fun than a car. . that goes 215 miles per hour at a complete stop, that's right, David Letterman, everyone, the show of him.