Trump Takes Classified Docs Case to SCOTUS; Rudy’s Gross Toilet Habits: A Closer Look

-Donald Trump has appealed a ruling in the

case

over his stolen top-secret documents directly to the Supreme Court, and specifically to Justice Clarence Thomas, whose wife, Ginni Thomas, has been implicated in the Trump coup attempt and whom Trump publicly praised at a recent rally, posing an important test of the strength of our constitutional system. Also in an equally important story, Trump allegedly complained about how horrible Rudy Giuliani smelled. Those two stories are important. They have the same level of importance. We are going to talk about them equally because they matter the same. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪ Every once in a while a story comes along that makes us scrap everything we planned to do on the show that night, a huge success story of monumental consequences for the nation.

It happened many times during Trump's presidency: the Mueller investigation, two impeachments, a coup attempt. And

look

, I don't want to say that our audience expects or needs us to provide this service, but we feel a moral obligation to bring you the most important stories of the day. Because for a lot of people, let's face it, and I don't say this lightly, we are their Walter Cronkite. People trust us to deliver the stories that matter most, and to do so with poise, moral clarity, and gravitas. In fact, Alex, this is so big, can we go to black and white?

Excellent. And a cigarette, please? Thank you so much. Alright, let's do it. Tonight we begin our program with a story of immense importance to the future of our nation. This is a deeply corrupt former president who represents an existential threat to democracy and the accomplices around him who aid and abet his criminal anarchy. According to a bestselling story by New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman... Alex, I think we can get the color back now. That's right: Trump complained loudly about his lawyer's smelly garbage cans. According to the book... This is one of those shocking stories that you definitely could have predicted too.

Nobody believes Rudy is making good smells. That's why he constantly votes that the mayor of New York is at least likely to have his own fragrance. Do you know who is most likely? Eric Adams. I mean, the colony is probably the solution to the garbage problem for him. "I know the trash on the street smells bad. That's why I never leave the house without putting on some Swagger." So I'm not surprised that Rudy produces bad smells, but I am surprised that it is so bad that Trump complained about it. I mean, all Trump consumes are Big Macs and Diet Cokes.

He probably has one bowel movement a week similar to the scene in "Jurassic Park." And of course, even when he was running for the most important office in the world, that's what Trump was worried about. I'm sure it happened after he won too. "Mr. President, North Korea just launched a nuclear missile at..." "Damn it, Rudy! What the hell did you do here? It's Air Force One, not Air Force Number Two!" I guess the reason Trump reacted so quickly was so he could beat Rudy, because Rudy definitely has the vibe of a "don't go in there" kind of guy.

I mean, Rudy immediately confesses everything without being asked. I'm surprised he hasn't done it on TV. Remember all those televised confessions? -Did our State Department ask you to go on a mission for them? -They did it. And do you know whose request I made it? The State Department. It's all here. Right here. -So you asked Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden? -Of course I did. -"Did you drink a whole bottle of whiskey with dinner?" "Sure!" "And you ate a whole rib?" "Yeah!" "And how did your system react to that combination?" "Evil!" "And you destroyed the bathroom on the plane?" -Of course I did. -No...

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that this is the most important story we have covered on this program. This is our Watergate. Many pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place. For example, now we know why Trump always complains about bathrooms. -People flush the

toilet

10 times, 15 times. Sinks,

toilet

s and showers. You don't get water. We won't talk about bathrooms. But you know... tink, tink, tink. 10, 15... but we don't talk about that. It sinks, right? Showers. And what about a sink and a shower? 10 times, right? 10 times. I won't talk about the fact that people have to flush the toilet 15 times. -Now, in the past, when I heard that, my reaction has been, even for Donald Trump, that it seems like a lot of blushes.

But now I know there was a second spoiler. Also, I want to emphasize that according to the book, this happened in 2016 and Rudy still worked for Trump for six more years. I don't know about you, but if my boss decided to complain loudly about how bad the bathroom smelled after I used it so everyone else could hear, my response wouldn't be "I'm willing to go to jail." for this man," because let's be clear: Rudy is not the bad guy here. Sure, he can make some dietary adjustments, but you get to a certain age and everything will be what it will be.

Trump is the bad guy here. Being a Trump lawyer is Worst job in the world. You don't get paid. You're constantly exposing yourself to criminal charges. And he complains loudly about the smells in your bathroom. "Rudy, you're a lawyer. Could you help my bathroom? He's trying to file a restraining order against your ass. Did you hear what I said about Rudy? Did everyone on the plane hear it?" We should be done with this story by now, and yet I still have a lot of questions. Like, for example, they make it seem like it's a normal thing.

Why did Trump always go to the bathroom right after Rudy's? Was it just a revolving door where these two Big Mac pods went back and forth, completely destroying the plane's bathroom until they landed? "Knock, knock, is there anyone there?" "You know it's me, boss! I walked in when you walked out." "Well, it's about time for me, Rudy." I don't want to be too dramatic here, but we need a congressional investigation into this. Liz Cheney needs to include this in the next hearing on January 6th. And to Don't think I'm being stupid, remember they did a whole segment in the hearings about how Rudy was drunk on election night. -Was there anyone in that conversation who, according to your observation, had too much to drink? -Hey, Mayor Giuliani -And how did you know that Rudy was at the White House that night? -"Uh, there was police tape on one of the bathroom doors.

Also, this mask is not from COVID." Now, as much as I would love to dedicate the rest of the show to this story, and believe me, we thought about going live tonight to cover it, but the network did not respond to our many emails, There are, I suppose, there will be other, less important stories in the news. For example, the investigation into all those top-secret documents that Trump stole from the White House and hid in the basement of his luxury morgue/resort in Palm Beach. And you can be sure. , you can be sure that there is no possible connection between Trump's handling of official government records and the bathroom story we just told you. -White House residence staff members discovered wads of printed paper in a clogged toilet and believe that former President Trump was trying to flush documents. -In her new book, Maggie Haberman of "The New York Times" confirms a habit of the former president that was not only detrimental to the health of the House White, but it was also detrimental to the presidency.

And she has the photos to prove it. -Damn, we can't escape this bathroom story! Every time I think I'm out, they make me come back in. Even more surprising to me is that both stories are in the same book by "New York Times" reporter Maggie Haberman. She wrote a detailed 600-page account of the most dangerous president in modern American history. And to do so, she had to spend a significant amount of time researching the strange sanitary

habits

of Earth's most disgusting monsters. Bathrooms have never played such an important role in American history. I mean, just

look

at the index.

Here at the mentions of Mike Pence in the book, and here are the mentions of bathrooms. I mean, that's it, I promise... No more... No more bathroom stuff! The thing is, Trump's habit of destroying or stealing official government records, including top-secret documents with the most sensitive

classified

information, is now under intense federal criminal investigation. So naturally, Trump is once again trying to manipulate the courts into helping him. In fact, he will now go all the way to the Supreme Court. And, in particular, his appeal was directed at a judge who is very obviously and blatantly compromised in a way that should disqualify him. -We have some breaking news to report in the criminal investigation into Donald Trump's handling of

classified

documents.

The former president's lawyers tried to block the Justice Department's criminal investigation by asking the U.S. Supreme Court to overturn an appeals court ruling giving the Justice Department access to classified documents that were seized at Mar-a- Lake. -It should be noted that this request from Trump's team goes directly to Judge Clarence Thomas. -Clarence Thomas' wife, who is a lawyer, urged Republicans in state legislatures across the country to change the outcome of the presidential election. -No Supreme Court justice in history has been more publicly compromised by the conduct of a family member than Clarence Thomas. But today, Clarence Thomas did not recuse himself when Donald Trump's lawyers presented their Supreme Court appeal directly to Clarence Thomas. -That's right: Trump's appeal went directly to Clarence Thomas because Clarence Thomas is the judge with jurisdiction over the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, which issued the ruling that Trump is appealing.

And Thomas didn't recuse himself right away, which is obviously crazy. His wife, Ginni Thomas, tried to help Trump overturn a presidential election. You can't pretend that it just didn't happen. It would be like going to the bathroom right after Rudy Giuliani and not saying anything about it. I said we wouldn't mention it again and we mentioned it again. Very sorry. Seriously, Clarence Thomas shouldn't even be on the stand, much less rule on

case

s that directly involve the guy his wife teamed up with to orchestrate an attempted coup. On the one hand, I seriously doubt they ever talked about it.

Can you imagine a married person saying with a straight face, "Oh no, I've never listened to any of my spouse's crazy opinions"? That Thomas would be involved in this ruling is even more ridiculous given that his wife, Ginni, just testified before the January Sixth Committee last week. During that testimony, she maintained her belief that the 2020 election was stolen. And then Trump praised her for it at a rally over the weekend. -Ginni Thomas, the conservative activist and wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, met with the House January Sixth Select Committee today. -They tell us that she cooperated, that she answered all the questions.

But President Bennie Thompson has also told reporters that he still believes the election was stolen, Jake. So after everything we know, Ginni Thomas is still denying the election. -I would like to thank a great woman named Ginni Thomas. Do you know Ginni Thomas? She is a great woman, the wife of a great man, Justice Clarence Thomas, because of her courage and strength. She said she still believes the 2020 election was stolen. She didn't say, "Oh, well, I wouldn't want to get involved. Of course, it was a wonderful election." They were rigged and stolen elections. -I like Trump's impressions of other people because they are all the same regardless of who he is talking about.

It doesn't matter if it's Joe Biden or Ginni Thomas. I would love to see him audition for SNL. "Next, I'm going to do my Harry Styles impression. Okay, here we go. Hi, my name is Harry Styles. I... make songs and spit on Chris Pine." But again, let's go back and process the order of things here. Clarence Thomas' wife urged lawmakers in several states to overturn the 2020 election. She texted Trump's chief of staff and urged him not to concede. She then repeated those lies before the January Sixth Committee. Then Trump praised her and her husband at a political rally, and now her husband is ruling in a case involving Trump's potentially criminal handling of classified documents.

If that's not a blatant conflict of interest, I don't know what is. This is a conflict of interest on the level of discovering that the Mets pitching staff are all secretly Braves fans, which would explain a lot. Look, I don't want to pick on the Mets, but they're the only team in baseball history that could win 100 games and still make their fans absolutely miserable. And maybe this Mets situation doesn't affect all of you, but I somehow work with every single Mets fan, and they've been walking around all day this week like they just used the bathroom after Rudy Giuliani.

Which is ironic becausewe have some Rudys on the team. You know who you are. As

gross

and unimportant as Rudy's bathroom story is, it is both, A, very funny and, B, an example of the types of humiliation that people in Trump's orbit are willing to endure in order to serve him. And that orbit now includes the wife of a Supreme Court justice who is about to rule on a very serious federal criminal investigation into Trump's handling of classified documents. Trump has destroyed the integrity of our nation's institutions, just as Rudy has destroyed our nation's... Bathrooms! -This... has been "A

closer

look." ♪♪ The midterm elections are approaching.

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