Trump Rants About Windmills & DeSantis, the Case of Curious George Santos & MyPillow Mike is Coming!

foreigner I don't know, yesterday I spent all day watching American football, you know, the matchup for Super Bowl 57 is set, the Philadelphia Eagles will play the Kansas City Chiefs in Phoenix, Arizona, the Eagles dominated yesterday the scarce San Francisco 49ers. Niners, I don't know if you see it, they started the game with this Sensations rookie guy, Brock Purdy, he started the season as a third Stringer, so then he got hurt in the game, they brought in a fourth quarterback, Josh Johnson, and then he got it. They were so close to bringing in the cheerleader that he had the strongest arm, but they lost after the game.

Fans of the game in Philadelphia took to the streets to celebrate the way Philly fans celebrate loudly and drunk. Landing got on the street signs, they were on the street lights, they got on. in um, I'm not sure what that is, but they were in it and at a bus stop they went through the yeah, the Eagles were led by Jalen hurts his quarterback, who could very well win a Super Bowl, but I don't think be safe. He says that he won't win American Idol anytime soon, he flies, the eagles fly on a path to victory.

Fly, the eagles, fly, go and turn one, two, three, yes, no, great, but have you ever seen Adele try to throw a terrible spiral on the AFC side, Kansas? City had Mahone's home field advantage, they beat the Bengals on a last-second field goal after a very stupid penalty, but the big loser of the day was the mayor of Cincinnati, who before the game issued some reckless trash talk from the City Hall. They head to Burrowhead Stadium for their second straight AFC Championship game. Officials asked Joseph Lee Burrow, who is 3-0 against Mahomes, to undergo a paternity test to confirm whether or not he is his father.

I don't even know what that joke means. To be honest, it may have been the most embarrassing moment for a Cincinnati mayor and keep in mind that Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati, but as a result of that, the mayor found himself on the receiving end of a message from the All-Pro of The Chiefs, Travis. Kelsey I have some words of wisdom for the mayor of Cincinnati Know Your Role, shut your mouth the first time I hear someone quote The Beastie Boys and Iron Sheik in one sentence. This is interesting. Travis Kelsey will play against his brother in the Super Bowl.

So, older brother Jason plays center for the Eagles. It's the first time two brothers compete in the Super Bowl, which has to be difficult for their parents. I mean, no matter who wins, they have to take them both to Disneyland. right, I just said I would tell him that I would sit him down and say listen guys, whoever wins uh is the son that we love the most and that's how Trump does it, you know, Donald Trump was back on the campaign trail this weekend. . Ylvis was in New Hampshire and South Carolina, you know, we make fun of Donald Trump a lot because he's a fool, but one thing you would say about him: he really has his finger on the pulse of this country, he knows what matters to the citizen half what matters to Americans.

What we want most from our leaders right now is for someone to do something about these damn

windmills

. We demand that

windmills

be built in our oceans. We demand that they go to our grasslands, our mountains and our airplanes. We are going to fly until we kill all the birds. You're killing all our eagles, they're not birds, you know, if you go out hunting and you shoot a bald eagle, they put you in jail for five years, right, but windmills wipe out thousands of them, that's okay. , they kill thousands of them. Nothing happens with these windmills and all the wind turbines are made in China, he is literally done, it is not even a metaphor anymore, he is fighting against the windmills.

I guess if he had a comb like that I wouldn't like windmills either, but Trump also warned that if Ron DeSantis ran for president he would consider it a huge act of disloyalty. No loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and he thought it would be cool to hang the vice president on him, but he was on a roll. He called the National Archives a radical left-wing organization with its left-wing extremist antifa agenda of collecting and preserving government documents as required by law. Think about this if your grandfather walked around screaming about the murderer. windmills in Marxist librarians you would send them to a right place, you would take away their car keys and Trump also bragged about his dealings with the Taliban with whom his name is apparently Abdul Abdul, the head of the Taliban, I called him and He said Abdul, you are killing many of our people, don't do what I do.

I said Abdul, don't do it. Abdul, but I said Abdul, don't do it. 50 chance he accidentally called Paula Abdul. I have to say that watching him campaign again is a little sad, it's the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards, but Trump is out there giving speeches and now even running ads, the FBI guy after me to Russia Russia-Russia. cheating long before my election as president I was just arrested for accepting money from Russia Russia Russia may rot in hell hey, you know, sometimes I can't get over how much he reminds me of Abraham Lincoln.

He's in Congress right now. The

case

of Curious. George Santos is

curious

or every day we found out over the weekend, we learned that more than a dozen of his major campaign donors do not exist and what is even more surprising is that some of the donors do exist, but how this guy keeps walking around the house. I don't know, this is like the movie Catch Me If You Can, if in the first five minutes Tom Hanks caught it, but there are so many questions and George Santos is doing his best not to answer any of them.

Mr. Santa, you listed the Wrong Name of a Treasurer Why did you list the wrong name of your Treasurer on your campaign finance forums? I'll have a conversation with you when you become a better arts reporter. I'm asking you directly. I have to say it's a strong move to hire Bobby Bigface. to block the cameras, this guy is good, he is one of the best, but George Santos is literally running, he has more yards than Walter Payton right now and he is also trying to ingratiate himself with the reporters who wait in the hallway all day almost every day bringing They are kind of baked good, guys, how are you?

I just wanted to make some cupcakes for you. I just bought these for you. I put them in the containers because they were cleaner, but they are for you. That's fine thanks. Yeah, don't you know, that's how the witch got Hansel and Gretel. Don't eat, eat those cupcakes and this is the best time. The only question George Santos decided to stop and answer was this Congressman Santos, who do you think he's going to win? drag race this season I haven't seen the drag race season we had a great response. No, you have to read, let's see, at least now we know how to get his attention, maybe RuPaul can get some answers from this.

The only way this all makes sense is if George Santos turns out to be Sasha Baron Cohen's friend. Mr. my pillow. Mike Lindell had a disappointing weekend. Mike this weekend threw his name into the ring to be named chairman of the Republican National Committee like that. individual in the United States besides President Trump, of course, against the corrupt Democratic apparatus that demands loyalty from the machines. I proudly nominate Mike Lindell for Chairman of the Republican National Committee. Unfortunately, she was almost alone. Mike lost his bid to become president out of 167 votes cast. Mike got four, which is five. more than he expected he would get, he was heavily defeated by incumbent Ronald McDaniel even though, according to the Erasmussen poll, 30 percent of Republican voters wanted him to lead the Republican fundraising effort and the One hundred percent of Democrats wanted him to lead the Republican fundraising campaign in Africa this year.

It's tough news for Mike, but things are about to get better. You know, Mike has repeatedly asked to come on this show and I have repeatedly invited him to appear on the show under one condition and the condition is that he allows me to interview him from the inside. a claw machine, you know, the claw machines, they have the arcade, the claw down, well, I said if you get into one of those, I'll do the interview and it looks like the good news is going to happen tomorrow night, the cloud game and this is the one. stipulation I said I don't mind getting into a game of claws, okay, in fact, you know, in the past, you put cream on the fabric, you know, everyone probably thought, hey, this would be cool to be in a game of claws. claws, right?

You know, probably? who's probably done that this will be interesting for me in something that I haven't done well, yeah, so it'll be a new experience, you know, that's what we do here at Jimmy Kimmel Live, we make dreams come true, although there are According to Mike, there's one condition: you better tell me if you're going to put stuff in there here, what's going to be in that claw game, you know what I mean, you know what I'm saying, I don't want anything that, uh um I don't know what would be evil , you know, whatever the calling game is, you don't need to dial some kind of, you know, something evil, so you're absolutely right.

I promise Mike. I promise you that we will not be evil. stuff in the claw machine there are no pentagrams or talismans there will be no satanic Rottweiler there but otherwise it will just be you in a colorful array of stuffed animals and plastic eggs so tomorrow night the man in my pillow will be squeezed inside a claw arcade machine uh for a and there it is, on that goes that's how we start our 21st year. I finally found my purpose, you know, last week we celebrated our 20th anniversary, which is, uh, thank you very much and I mean we couldn't have done any of this without you, you are the butane that keeps the Zippo lighter burning and so tonight is a token of our gratitude, we wanted to give something back to our audience to thank you for 20 incredible years Johnny Carson David Letterman Magic Johnson the most beloved talk show host of all time, but none have had the distinction of being minted in precious metals until now American trinket makers present Jimmy Kim's 20th anniversary commemorative coin alive, at least one one-of-a-kind coin is forged with 23 sterling silver, 46 melted carpet nails and 31 aluminum foil On the front, a stunning portrait of Jimmy Kimmel drawn with free artificial intelligence software, on the other side, a token logo of Chuck E cheese that can't be taken off as network television disappears into streaming hell. foreign services and pornography the value of your chemical currency will only increase or even yours for a one-time payment of $799 or four monthly payments of $399.

Order your Jimmy Kimmel Live 20th Anniversary Coin today at www.givejimmykimmel yourmoney.com or Call now to talk to one of our sexy Representatives. What are you asking me? What are you asking me for? What am I wearing? Anniversary commemorative coin. Technically it has no value. Available at Walgreens. I want it to be a surprise.