Jon Stewart, Jordan Klepper & Ronny Chieng Cover Trump's Hush Money Trial | The Daily Show

After a week of jury selection, today it was finally time for opening statements and it turns out that the prosecution and defense disagree with the prosecution arguing that Trump's alleged plan to keep a movie actress quiet for adults is election interference pure and simple in those words, Trump defense attorney Todd Blanch told the jury that the former president, although he did not break the law, that's right, this is a classic case of New York State v. No, oh no, right? I think it's pretty clear that he did. Regardless, this

trial

will obviously be a test of the fairness of the American legal system, but it is also a test of the media's ability to

cover

Donald Trump responsibly, a task they have acknowledged they have done poorly in. the past, I think.

To the extent that the media has learned its lesson, it seems to have learned that it is irresponsible for cable news networks to give Donald Trump hours and hours of free air time, too much speculation, liberal wishful thinking and attempts to connect the dots that They were not connected. the media's responsibility not to be distracted I think we were too busy chasing shiny objects, we have all learned some very valuable lessons from the last few years and outlining what is meaningful, what is important, very brave, well done and I think for this test We will see the seeds of that inspection bear fruit or we will learn that learning curves are for here we go, it is underway, history will shape up as the test of the century, maybe the test of the century, the test of the century, but it could be the

trial

of the century the taxman is here donald

trump

will finally be forced to face the music the legal walls are closing in around donald

trump

the legal walls are starting to close in on donald trump yes, this time Mr.

Bond, de truth It's your downfall now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to leave this room, obviously, when I leave, I'm not going to press this button here that opens all the doors and dismantles the killing machine I've set up, don't do it. Follow me, Mr. Bond, maybe if we limit the

cover

age to the topics at hand and try not to create an all-encompassing

show

with the most BAL details, maybe that will help you see live footage in New York City of Donald Trump's engine. cave, it is approximately a 20-minute drive between Trump Tower and the court building.

Trump leaves Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. Now they are crossing the city on 57th Street. They simply cross Park Avenue and head towards Lexingon Avenue. He heads toward the FDR to the Manhattan courthouse on Chamber Street arriving at this intersection of American history with Defiance arriving at the intersection of American history with Defiance the brilliant opposition of the seriousness of the moment with simple traffic terms was that he arrived at the intersection of American history where He put a quarter in Destiny's parking meter and drove away to avoid stepping in Juris Prudence's puddle of urine. Seriously, are we going to follow this guy to court every day?

Are you trying to make this orange juice not a chase? He is traveling. So the first attempt of the media, the first attempt of the first day of self-control, failed and I am sorry to say. Sorry, wait, we're getting breaking news, you know, he wanted to seat a jury, so he had a lady Bill, sorry, I interrupted an inspection for a second, I apologize, we're just

show

ing the first image of Donald Trump from inside the courtroom, it's a still photograph, uh, the one we're showing there, I just want to do. sure our viewers know what they are watching yes for our viewers who are just waking up from a 30 year coma.

This is what Donald Trump has looked like every day for the last 30 years. Same outfit, so we have a photo. of Donald Trump in the courtroom, but do we really know what he looks like? The man is a mystery. A Yeti, if you will, something could be very fake. We have an eyewitness account, perhaps from a dismissed juror. Would you describe to me what he saw? with Donald Trump while you were sitting inside the courtroom not far um he was a little bit ahead of me and to the left. I didn't get a full view of him today wait, did I have jury duty this week?

What brother BR? My mother also dresses like me. Anyway, this follows our three-part interview with a guy who almost saw Donald Trump in the courtroom, so we have a photo. This scares me. We have a photograph of that photo and we have eyewitness accounts, but right? we have anything in pastel colors, a sketch of the courtroom we're getting into. I'm looking at the courtroom sketch right now and Mr. Trump appears to be frowning. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a glow or just a look. I don't know what it's like, it's art, it's not necessarily artistic journalism, but it's not a photograph, why are you showing it to us?

It's a sketch. Why would anyone analyze a sketch as if it were? It would be like watching the last one. Dinner and departure Why do you think Jesus looks so sad here? What do you think it is? What do you think is Judas' fault? What if we interviewed one of the waiters at one of the tables in a different section of the restaurant that maybe not? I don't really see it, but hey, you know we have time to kill. I guess we'll never know unless we can talk to the person who drew the sketch, but do we have time?

None other than Christine Cornell, who is in the courtroom today, the official. cartoonist I want to show one of your sketches today we are going to go over some of them but in this one it appears that he has his eyes closed what was going on here my apologies ma'am I was sitting 50 feet away I was having What a struggle trying to get those eyeballs in, damn I mean, woman, does Donald Trump have eyeballs or no man, him or not, are you in the room, tell me or I won't go to your junk store in Newports, tell me woman, see what they are? we're doing uh I noticed here his head is perfectly round why is it like that I like to draw circles at this point you're probably telling yourself how many hours of television have been devoted to a Donald Trump a man who has not been off any of our screens for more than 30 seconds in the last eight years it seems that the answer is not so many hours as describing each of his movements.

Trump craned his neck to look at the jurors in perspective and flashed a tight-lipped smile, leaning to the left, um, a little silently. with his arm crossed also hunched with his elbows on the desk he looked at papers and periodically whispered to his lawyers he shifted restlessly and leaned back his brow furrowed as he sat squinting he was actually biting his lip during today's proceedings his lips pursed in that feature The way Trump lost his eyes, the burly former president slowly stood up, walked towards me with a mix of Desire, contempt and let's call it age-related confusion, that's when I realized that this former president of the United States has a frontal look at some.

At this point, something important and revealing is going to happen, but none of us are going to realize it because the hour that passes in its speculative face ticks, if the media tries to make us feel that the most mundane thing is destroying the Earth, don't worry. we will believe when it's really interesting it's your classic look at Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer it's a trial it's boring mostly I've been on jury duty and I can that's not me that's a different guy why isn't it me it could be me look at the trials it's a lot of lectures parallels and procedural and sidebars and what is exhibit 372a and it is not out of order all this CT is out of order the only person who has had the most normal reaction to the trial so far is Donald Trump Donald Trump fell asleep several days during his criminal trial as he should, I mean, he's been awake since 2 a.m. tweeting angrily that he needs to sleep angrily Today was the second day of Trump's

hush

money

trial and the first witness was the editor of the National Inquirer, he testified that to help Trump win the 2016 election, he would buy scandalous stories about Trump and then would bury and what a great job he did.

I can't think of a single scan of Trump before they could even get in that they had to hold a separate hearing to find out. If Trump violated a gag order when he threatened jurors and witnesses and that hearing didn't go well for Trump, it was a pretty wild and intense hearing about Donald Trump's gag order, it all turned into a very heated exchange between the judge and Trump's lawyer, Todd Blanch. who argued that Trump is being too careful while a clearly frustrated judge Maron responded Mr. Blanch, you are losing all credibility with this court minutes after the hearing ended Trump attacked the judge on social media calling it a kangaroo court wow this guy is Unable to keep his mouth shut for 2 minutes, has Trump ever considered paying himself

money

for his silence?

But think about it, this is a complicated issue about the balance of rights. BAS, basically, the prosecution's argument is that a juror has the right to feel safe while serving on Donald Trump's jury while Donald Trump's argument is that that juror lives at 34 West 52nd Street and maybe someone You should visit him and clarify this silence order. Seriously, Trump could have to pay up to $1,000 for each violation, yes, $1,000 that won't stop Trump from talking. Okay, you have to deal with this like any other tantrum, you have to give Trump a melon iPad and let him be distracted, okay, then he'll expect melon Coco every time he's upset, okay, we'll have it later, okay.

I just need it to stop now it's so loud I can't even think in this house okay it's not what Dr. Becky would want anyway to find out more about the results of the gag order hearing let's go to Desi liic Desi D now that the gag order is over the hearing is over can you focus back on the actual trial, uh, unfortunately not, because during the gag order hearing Donald Trump made a masturbation move, so they needed a hearing gag order to see if that violated the gag order before they could go back to the first gag order oh oh but after that it's all set uh no because during that gag order hearing the judge heard Trump say I'm judge peee head and when the judge asked if he just called me judge peee head trump said it was just rehearsing for a community theater production where he plays a judge named pee head so they had to have a hearing on that but once it was done That, the real case yes, but not because during that hearing Trump made another masturbation movement but then said it. it was not a masturbation movement, so they need a quick hearing to determine how he masturbated, then a hearing on whether he made the masturbation movement, then the PP judge, the first masturbation hearing, then the gag order, and then the real case, what?

hush

case the hush money case oh no one remembers that keep up with the news cycle Jordan you're on the desk for goodness sake yeah uh thanks Desi we'll get back to you later now clearly Trump thinks he's being treated unfairly in this trial and he's not the only one something to bring order to is just the beginning of the oppression that Trump faces okay Jesse let me start with you and the prosecution says this is election fraud and they say, pure and simple, do you I call pure evil?

Then they took away his freedom of speech and now they took away his freedom of movement. I mean, they had more concessions for khed shik Muhammad. Oh, okay, that sounds crazy, but I think Jesse Waters is a reasonable man because they fired me. head for a horse last week so let's hear it how they're treating Trump worse than the 9/11 brain the guy needs exercise he usually plays golf so you're going to put an almost 80 year old man sitting in a room like this his butt for all that time is not healthy he needs sunlight and he needs activity he needs to be walking he needs action that's a really cruel and unusual play on words to force a man to do that we're talking about Donald Trump or an old English sheepdog you can't keep him locked up all day, he needs time outside or he will pee on the couch.

Look, we all know Donald Trump loves exercise because of this test. He has been obese for the last 40 years. Yeah, I mean, would Trump do it though? I even want fresh air and exercise, these actually sound like the punishments the judge would give to Trump if he is found guilty, yes I know it's like fresh air and exercise, just give me the death penalty, but listen, I'll give Jesse Waters the benefit of the doubt because The same horse also kicked him in the head, so let's let him continue. This is not fair, it is torture. They are making a 77 year old man sit inside a dirty room for 8hours straight, 4 days a week.

Wow, 8 hours a day, four days a week is literally torture or as the rest of the world calls it a part time job to be fair. I mean, this is the same guy asking to be president of the United States. I mean, it has to be at least 40 hours. a week's job, I mean, are they going to give you overtime? I also thought Trump was supposed to be the young, vigorous candidate in the race, now what suddenly needs sympathy is a poor old man crippled by the weight of his own body pulverizing his bones into dust. against the saddle, you know what, bring that horse back here because I want to give Jesse one more chance.

They are telling the whole world all the crazy people. This is where the former president will be on this date, at this moment, surrounded by tall... tall buildings yes, it is very dangerous for people to know Trump's exact location, which is why he lives in a nondescript building with his name on the forehead. The Trump campaign also tells us where he will be and exactly when Trump rallies are called. and that's how I know where to go to get yelled at and, you know, the worst part about him being on trial is that they just treat him like he's someone. kind of criminal defendant today the former president of the united states if he walks out of court to go to the bathroom jail if he calls the corrupt prosecutor jail if Trump moves or says anything they scream jail if he makes us recycle jail if he scratches his crotch jail yes, he gets a high score on the SAT jail uh, his favorite Batman Christian Bale yes , your favorite veggie fries yes, yes, let's start with an important announcement from the president of the United States, it's a good day for America, it's a good day for Europe and it's a good day for world peace oh a good day for world peace I wanted one of those I wonder what happened did the nations of the world finally come together to ban war?

Did they finally buy everyone in the world a Coca-Cola? finally peace between Kendrick and Drake what is it? Moments ago at the White House, President Biden signed a long-awaited aid package for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan and signed it into law. In total, about $95 billion will go to help Ukraine and Israel in war efforts and money to counter China's aggression. in the Indo Pacific, oh oh, world peace, okay, okay, it's peace, the one with the tanks is the one I went to a public school that wasn't funded because they spent all that money on peace, so yeah, I want to say that maybe he is right, yes. maybe maybe the president is being sarcastic, you know, it's a good day for world peace, everyone's right, yeah, yeah, but yeah, after months of delay, President Biden signed a relief package today military for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan, yes, Taiwan, not now, we are not at war. yet, but you have to make a reservation in advance just to reserve your spot and although this bill passed easily, it had been delayed for six months because right-wing Republicans threatened to oust President Mike Johnson from office if he helped Ukraine , but now that he let it go, everyone has been talking about him like this, I applaud Speaker Johnson's courage, what you are witnessing here is moral courage, a profile and courage is putting the nation above yourself and that is what he didn't just put this. for a vote, but he also separated the bills, which I thought was brave, he did the right thing, he made his own decision, he made his own decision, he risked his job and that's courage, file and courage in this case, that's courage , courage, is courage, you, the word. it's courage profile courage courage Courage profile there's one thing about courage being profile courage so courage yeah okay thanks apparently Mike Johnson is the hero here, sure a couple of Ukrainian cities fell while he was deciding whether to be brave or not, but he managed to do it.

I mean, we're always praising first responders, what about the eventual first responders, uh, the ones that get on their fire truck and say, hey, let's stop for you down the road, uh, where's your tick parade or tapes? I greet you, my son John. I mean, not now, but within 6 months I woke up the courage to do it, but let's move on to the problem that America has not solved gun violence. Many people think the answer is to reduce the number of guns, but Tennessee lawmakers are stepping in. In the opposite direction, chaos is breaking out in Tennessee's state capital, where lawmakers just passed a bill that would allow teachers to carry concealed firearms in schools if the governor signs it.

The Tennessee law would allow teachers to carry guns in schools where top administrators agree teachers would be required to. have a permit to train and obtain a background check and mental health evaluation. Congratulations, now his shop teacher is going to have two stories about how he accidentally lost a finger. Look, I mean, can the students at least vote on which teacher gets the gun? You know, my gym teacher was already on a power trip and all he had was a whistle, so today was a big day for Donald Trump versus Johnny Law with the former president fighting the man at every level of the legal system , but things really started.

Pretty good for Trump, uh, after months of calling him unfit for office, Trump's former attorney general, Bill Bar, said he'll vote for him anyway and Trump responded with as much grace as you'd expect, so the former president posted a social truth with this quote, wow, former lawyer. General Bill bar just endorsed me for president even though I called him weak, slow, lethargic, cowardly and lazy based on the fact that I greatly appreciate his unconditional endorsement. I am removing the word lethargic from my statement, thank you Bill Donald Donald Trump. he is the king of meanness. I'm sure in an ALT universe Trump was a sorority president who dripped shade like wow bill.

I love that bikini that you are so brave to wear and that you become a girl. I mean, it seems like Trump hates Trump. He kisses ass as much as the rest of us because he says, "Kiss the ring" and then when they do it he says "I can't believe you kiss the ring, little guy," so Trump was riding that sick burn this morning throughout the whole thing. the way to court, where he faced testimony from the editor of the National Inquirer, who wasn't afraid to spill some tea. Publisher David Pecker returned to the witness stand this morning and explained how he hatched a deal to buy Karen McDougall's The Silence.

Playboy model who claimed to have had an affair with Trump Pecker claims she had a deal with Trump and his lawyer Michael Cohen to be on the lookout for damaging stories about Trump, would buy stories that were not flattering to Trump, and then kill them to make them. I'm sure they weren't made public. Today was a bad day for Donald Trump. Look, I can't read his mind, but he looked pretty miserable. He really looked miserable. He's not one of those jovial criminal defendants. Yes, he comes to court with a smile. his face and a skip in a step as he looks toward a future filled with prison gangs defecating in public and injected heroin balloons migrating into his colon, but yes, David Pecker's pun testified that it brought up and buried negative stories about Donald Trump who help him. him winning the 2016 election, which sounds crazy, but you have to remember this was back in 2016, when negative stories were a bad thing.

MH, we now know that every new scandal just cancels out a different scandal until you become president, but since this is Donald Trump, he was not involved in a single court case today while he was in New York, his lawyers were in front of the Court Supreme Court arguing that Trump should have complete legal immunity for anything he did while he was president, and I mean complete immunity if the president decides that. His rival is corrupt and he orders the military or orders someone to assassinate him. It is that within his official acts, what he can obtain immunity would depend on the hypothetical, but we see that it could well be an official act.

I oppose the voice of this guy, can we someone give him a Lin or something? But I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you can continue. What if a president orders the military to stage a coup? I think it would depend on the weather. I think it would depend on the circumstances. if it was an official act if it was an official act if a president sells nuclear secrets to a foreign adversary he is that immune well, I don't know in the hypothetical case whether or not that would be an official act okay, look, can we stop giving him to Trump?

IDE years, okay, yeah, you're listening to this like, oh, selling nuclear secrets. I should write this, yeah, it sounded like they were lazily throwing Netflix action thrillers into the room, like to save the nation from him, the president must strangle an opponent in a public death match. Liam Niss is now immune from prosecution very good very good very good here we go now Trump's legal team doesn't really believe in the total immunity argument, they are just making it to delay his trials it's like when your child asks for water at dinner time bedtime and you know they're just trying to push back bedtime because kids don't need water wait so I'm pretty sure kids do need water uh no you're thinking about plants the strange thing is that the conservative majority of the Court looks like it's actually going to accept at least part of Trump's argument; at the end of the hearing, the conservative majority seemed to express a desire to create some kind of limited immunity for presidents' official acts, so this is where we are. , think the conservative judges.

Trump should have immunity, liberal judges shouldn't, how about we meet halfway instead of full immunity? Presidents get a pass on five crimes that are totally fine if they get the chance, for example mine would be bribery, insurrection, wire fraud, perjury, and Lenny Krabit money. wash clothes, I mean wash money, I mixed up all my passes, right? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of crazy that the Supreme Court can make the president immune from the law. I mean, isn't this whole thing about America that there are no Kings? People threw tea into the river. I mean, what a waste they could have saved all that tea.

Yes, that is also my main concern. Ronnie, with all this there is still a presidential race, so this morning Donald Trump made a campaign stop on his way. in court and Fox News was there to drink it this morning former President Donald Trump made a surprise campaign stop at the last hour at a construction site in Midtown he's taking his time with everyone talking to people shaking hands taking selfies look at him with this man in the helmet taking a photo thanking him for being there patting him on the back he grew up in new york he grew up in construction in these places and now he's talking to the men and women who build new york who build all these buildings that he knows a lot about that he's one of them wow he was clearly excited to be on a construction site shake some hands Pat some backs show them some advanced cat calling techniques you know the nine and those construction workers seemed to love Trump a lot either that or they showed up with all their bills unpaid, so can you get your autograph on this?

Yes, can you initial here and here please? Years have passed and in recent weeks universities across the country have become sites of mass protests against Israel's war in Gaza and this presents a challenge for universities. Loud and even disruptive protests are a cherished tradition on campuses and university investments in Israel are a legitimate issue for students, but at the same time there is a real element of anti-Semitism among some protests and Jewish students have the right to feel safe in their own schools, so it is a delicate balance that requires keeping a cool head and listening respectfully and, above all, universities must not increase tension.

The president of Columbia University asked the New York police to dismantle a tent encampment where 150 protesters were arrested. NYU at a protest, the university says it asked the police to intervene, okay, okay, Ju. To be clear, I said deescalate, deescalate Chaos on USC campus as pro-Palestinian protesters clash with school security and police. Los Angeles police officers team up and there. There are a series of confrontations as the police force surrounds the center of the campus, okay, de-escalation doesn't mean what I think it means, uh, an escalation, reverse escalation, at least not make things worse, officers were dispatched at the request of university and under the direction of Governor Greg Abbott Abbott posted a quote on social media: Protesters need to be in jail, send in the National Guard and wake these kids up.

Do you ever think of a solution besides the Force? I mean, when this guy's Wi-Fi goes out, would you like to get the National Guard here, we need my modem, by the way, that guy is theSenator Josh Holly, you may remember him as the man who riled up a mob on January 6th and then ran away as if once they showed up in person, I personally might think twice next time. This time I supported violence, but that's just me, yes, and also Jordan. You don't use the national God because the students are camping in the courtyard.

You use them when aliens invade and you want to test the capabilities of alien weapons. You know you are like that. The strong in Los Angeles are sending a National Guard to find out. Furthermore, they are not going to resolve the tension by adding violence. I'm spitting here, maybe instead of armed soldiers, why don't they try sending in the college improvisation troop? You know, a group of communication students in brightly colored shirts asking for a suggestion should dissipate the crowd in no time. No, Jordan. Everyone knows that our university improvisation makes everything worse. Okay, and also right-wing politicians show up on campus to yell at the students' house.

President Mike Johnson visits Columbia. Today on campus, the cherished traditions of this University are currently being overtaken by radical and extreme ideologies. Today I am here joining my colleagues and calling on President Chaik to resign if she cannot immediately bring order to this chaos, go back to class, and stop the nonsense. waste your parents money yeah stop wasting your parents money be like mike johnson go into government and waste everyone's money and by the way mike if your problem is anti semitism i completely agree with you that it's completely unacceptable, but maybe start with your coworker.

Who believes in Jewish space lasers? I mean, I'll just say it's a big sea change for Republicans to tell New York college kids to go back to their woke ideology classes. You shouldn't be intense. You should study essays on pornography by radical authors. feminist Andrea Dworin, I honestly can't think of anyone worse to give her opinion on how to protest the war in Gaza. Well, there is a type. What is happening on America's college campuses is a disaster. Anti-Semitic mobs have taken over the main university. It is inconceivable. it needs to be stopped oh, thanks for taking the time to give your opinion Benjamin Netanyahu, isn't there anything else happening to you?

Yeah, I know this guy is like the situation on US college campuses is unacceptable. See how buildings aren't rubble? I am disgusted. Here's the point: there is a lot of noise and a lot of bad actors. But fundamentally what is driving these protests is anger over Israel's disproportionate use of force, so before responding to the protests with disproportionate force maybe we should listen to what they have to say and then if we still don't agree with the students then we can send in the college improv troop