The Office but it's just Everyone Being Violent - The Office US

Crossing through beep beep no ow I didn't see you you should have shouted Crossing I'm sorry, could you hit Michael, yeah, yeah? I don't think that would happen because we're friends because he would kick his ass too so he's a purple belt so I beat up the black belts yeah and how did you know there were black belts? They told me after seeing. He used to run with a very tough crowd. Street Fighter guys, very, very bad, bad people. I'm

just

lucky to have gotten out. knock knock who's there buddha buddha who buddha that spread out for me i got a knock knock joke not right god michael please please please leave me okay knock KN who's there KGB KGB we asked the questions what the hell was that what are you doing What are you, hey, hey, stop, stop, hey, come on, what are you doing?

Mine is part of a hilarious job. Mine was an answer. What are you doing? No more knock knock jokes, that's it, ding dong, who's there? The KGB opens the door. I don't. opening the door door no way it's the kg ding I'm not going to answer that yes you're going to answer it I'm not going to answer I'm not going to answer it's the KGB the K won't be suitable for anyone it's true hit, scream and run, okay, let's try it Oh, it might have been my fault, what the hell, Toby? Okay, look in a real crisis situation, you're not going to have time to think, okay, so remember I A A TG, it's all about the groin, listen.

For me, Robert is going to veto the saber shop. Jim, come on, Dwight, it's going to kill the store and then I'm pretty sure he'll fire you for it. Nice try Jim, your jokes have never worked in the past and they aren't. I'm going to work today. Well, first of all, they've already done most of the work, so you know what you might want to get to the airport. It will take you a long time to get through security with all those beauty products. Goodbye, nothing will stop me. the mark of a great man Unstoppable Thunder Mifflin Farm Mo all those things fade in my rearview mirror now if you'll excuse me I have a date with Destiny and from what I've heard she's a Do you want me to stop dating your mother? how are we going to get through this because I will yeah well that's not going to happen why do you even offer because I assumed you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy Michael let me make this real easy for you.

I would care about your happiness by stopping dating my mother, you know what I'm going to start dating her even harder, what is that supposed to mean? You know what it means and after that no one messed with the damn Rascals ever again sounds harsh when you're a jet you're a jet all the way right you're a jet have you signed the expense reports yet? Yes, in theory I have done it. I

just

need to cross some teas and dot some eyes. Okay, I'll be in my

office

if anyone needs me wow sleeper wait B time for B oh you guys are the weakest link, do I need to go over our workplace violence policy?

No, no, we're fine, get a shot, okay, Dunder Mifflin, don't approve any activities. Whatever it is, we have a zero tolerance policy for anything that could endanger our employees, you understand? Well, yes, yes, we understand. That's good, totally very clear, very clear, yeah, sure, trust that you took off all your weapons, of course you did. I swear on my great aunt. Tomb, come on, get out, I can't believe they're going to fight for me. I guess people have few options as they get older. If Jim didn't want him to have a gun, he would have gotten rid of all the bikes in fear.

This is fine, I'll be back if you need me. Thank you so much, thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it, thank you Toby, help, help, oh gr, don't you lick my hand, God, why is there so much saliva? All I had to do is Think about the cake and my salivary glands did the rest gross, what, what, what, God, Jim, my appendix, I'm sorry, my wound still hasn't healed or I'm sorry, oh man, I I'm so sorry, I forgot you, are you okay, oh? God Michael, you have to put your hands down, put your hands in your pockets, okay, pam pam, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, why do you regret so many things?

No, it's hard to choose, how about we go out with my mom? That's it and dump her on her birthday yeah, don't you ever date a member of my family again, okay, I promise, for the record, your mom made a pass at me, shit, are you okay? Don't hit me, see, I can't 'cause I only have a manicure, so, oh, queer, queer, hey, that's a good show, an important show, go ahead, just White has to hit you, oh yeah, well, that's not It would be worth nothing because I know a lot of 14 year old girls are going to kick it. his ass you know a lot of 14 year old girls what belt do they have Dwight is a coward when we rented Armageddon he cried at the end Michael I told you it was because it was New Year's Eve and it started snowing exactly at midnight Bruce Willis they're going to leave him on the asteroid okay, I'll punch you oh okay here we go, let's go, oh little things can be dangerous, whether it's a gremlin or the Chucky doll, the key is to throw it something like a fireplace or a tub of electricity good point um good point what is a tub of electricity?

I don't know with all due respect we know what we're defending ourselves against it's a 12 year old bully I was a 12 year old bully Great I think Kelly should attack Toby yeah yeah that's actually not a bad idea because I've had a lot of aggression repressed. You think you're so good that you won't be as pretty when it's time for the prom. Okay, that's what it's called.

violent

stance, take that not so

violent

earlier, okay, I'm at, I'm at what's called a decision point, so hey, hey, he, Kelly, Kelly, come on, God, my good eye, oh boy, Come on, hey, has something happened yet?

It's 410, no. I think it's going to show oh come on man believe in something come on coward what are you doing? He was trying to get me up, okay, okay, get up, okay, I'm not going to leave you until then, you know what I'm going to do. I just gotta get through you right, what are you doing? Are you really speeding up? You know that doesn't work. Jackie CH. What are you doing? I think that was it, it's show time, you broke your arm, broken nose, boom bo boom, broken nose is going to come around once a year.

Dwight hosts a seminar to update us on the latest developments in the world of karate because, as we all know, the only thing is a thousand. -years old practice martial arts all the time the weather changes, how can I put this to you in a relatable way? You are all members of the Yakuza and you happened to be visiting the Lacana tram museum and were attacked by the Triads, how can you? keep them at bay until your clan arrives, you can't go wrong with a punch to the throat, well wow, it's actually pretty close right now, look let me take you from behind, watch out Kelly, my punch hit you.

I didn't punch you, Michael, no, really just in case. Do you remember that I was defending my honor like a samurai very well? They offered me that Dwight was for a hit that I absorbed. I had no idea there would be a second hit, so he catches 22, okay, tit for tat, take your best shot, two hits, look. If we were in a bar right now, there would be two knocks. I hit you and you hit the ground. No, I will block your first strike, rendering you ineffective. Oh, really, yeah, you know what you're lucky we're at work right now.

What's up with Dwight's Dojo, Michael Toby? Hey, you know what I have an idea, why don't you leave right now? Why don't you leave the room? Okay, we'll go to lunch. I'm going to fight with the counting settings oh my god, is it in my eyeball? Yes, I think it's burning my eye. Michael, do something, do something, I have to stop that luk, can I have it? No, okay, I'm going to count from five five five four four. I'm not kidding three two one okay, here you go, you're going to learn to be more professional Luke, that's what you're going to do Luke, what the hell did I have to do?

This, throw it away, are we okay? you're fine he's fine there are many different schools of thought on capital punishment that was amazing what's on Andrew Bernard's desk pathetic note dear Dwight you've already received my note how are you? I'm fine, no doubt you're wondering why why I left this note. It has come to my attention that in any physical combat with you I would surely be outmatched. The most vulnerable part of my refined upbringing is my most vulnerable part. There's Andy, he's in his car. What is he doing? Why isn't Dwight here? Turning around the Prius is silent if you keep it under 5 hours he deserves the win after considering oh my god what's going on and he's hitting Dwight with his car someone attacks me Kevin Don't go, hey, last time you pulled down my pants and then I tried to strangle myself with my fake shoelace, I strangled you with your shoelace, now come at me, okay, with all due respect to all present.

I think the most worthy opponent for you is you. That is correct, unless there is measles. Yes, Andy, what? if we changed our outgoing answering machine message to have a little more excitement and a little more enthusiasm and encouragement, those are the kind of words we're looking for, yeah, Jim, how about we did a voicemail message even newer than I had even more excitement and excitement now that we're cooking. I like this, maybe a whole thing like a rrap, a rap rhyme, something urban, yeah, Stanley, you want to help us with that Stanley. The Earth is Stanley, not me, yeah, come on, Stanley. quit your little game and join the group no, Stanley, let's have a little, one having a brainstorming session, I stuttered well, this is good, I'm going to have a glass of water, a technology, come do that again, do that again. you dare well break break you can't see you can't see one point two points three points I win I win no eight point N Point stop it no go Michael open your mouth no Michael every day for 8 years I have brought pepper spray in this

office

to protect myself to me and my coworkers and every day for 8 years people have laughed at me hey helper hey rr go well who's laughing now you're firing me for three words I stuttered do you think I'm going to let you do this to me.

I've watched you ruin this office for 10 years and I'm going to file a lawsuit and tell them all the stupid things you've done in this office. Well, you know what? Now you know how I feel. This was a fake dismissal, so I wasn't fired. That's all. You have something to tell me? Oh yes, I know. You're crazy. What's happening? Do you have any sense? Okay, do you have any idea how to run an office every day? You do something stupider than the day before and I think there's no possible way he can top that, but what do you do?

Do you find a solution? Damn, to top it all off, you're a professional idiot, hey, stop it, so let's just say Dwight has come at you with a punch to the throat. Now, how could you defend yourself Dwight against that easily? Let me show you that I am attacking myself with a punch to the throat. he comes to block grab the wrist as such and what happens if he comes at you with the other hand because he has two good points second hit to the throat absorb the blow hit to the groin hip block elbow to the stomach uh-oh to the nose no, you're not ah oh my God, he's making you look like a fool, he really is, but not much, inept God, oh not again, you let go, you let him go, oh, you're right, I can't hold on, you two are so equal that no.

I don't know how one of you is going to take advantage. The important thing to remember, Jim, we always have what's called the element of surprise, come on, my God, you give up, never walk away from me like a man. I am a Man, I am a bigger man than you will ever be. I would never sleep with another man's fiancé. You are not a man. You don't know how to take care of her. All you do is dress up and sing. What does that mean? You can't even protect her, protect her from what's bothering you, idiot, when was the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton last year, idiot, Dwight, your legs are broken?

No, my right one is falling asleep a little, are you okay? Go away, tuna. I'm winning this, yeah, back off, this isn't your fight, oh how much is this going to cost, oh what trust will take care of that. What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. I said what are you stupid idiot. you are like you are like a Sasquatch you live in the W sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet you talk to me you talk to me furious bll Pino