Dating a Drug Addict: What to do // Advice

Hello, my name is Chantel and welcome to the diaries of a codependent, so while I was editing my other video I thought it would be very useful to share with you the experiences I have had

dating

a

drug

addict

and the recommendations I could give for

dating

like When you were in that situation,

what

can you do. I'm not going to make a list, you'll find everything in the description box, but I don't want it to be a set of rules that you have to follow, most importantly,

what

ever I'm going to tell you, it's your choice, you make your own decisions, you have to make your own decisions and you must also have your own experiences.

I think if things hadn't gotten worse, I probably still would have done it. Being with him to this day, so I think the negative experiences were a good thing, but I don't think they necessarily have to happen to everyone. I don't think anyone deserves that and I think if it can be avoided, it's great, so yeah, I think. So the most important thing you have to do, tell yourself or know is that it's not your fault, you're not the reason someone is

addict

ed, whether it's your parent, whether it's your spouse, whether it's a friend, it's not up to you. , It's his responsability. you want to put like Narcotics Anonymous Alcoholics Anonymous would say it's an illness it's okay, even if it's an illness it's still their decision their responsibility and not yours you're not there to take care of them you're not there to help them get out of this, they have to do it alone, not just themselves but themselves, so I think that's the most important thing to remember, you can't purify an addiction, you're not there to help the addiction because what happens is if you try too hard to cure it or try to help curing it by thinking that you are, can make things worse and that's what it cost me to allow it and become codependent.

I wanted him to be happy so much that first of all I gave him money or let him carry my things to buy

drug

s, but then I wanted him to stop using drugs so much that I was willing to do whatever it took to get him to stop, but he didn't. It was my responsibility, I shouldn't have done it. doing all those things, he should take his ass to rehab and not, you know, take his ass to my back account, so that's the first thing, the most important thing, the first thing I would tell anyone is that it's not your fault and It's not your responsibility secondly, if you think it is, it's not, but if you find yourself in a situation where you want to help, I don't know if there is a one size fits all help, it really depends on the character and the individual. my ex boyfriend was super addicted he was he's been on meth for years Me Who am I to make him suddenly stop?

I don't even know if I actually had kids with him that would have made him quit. because initially it wasn't like that, I mean he has kids now and I think he's still been using at the beginning, it's only now that I see that he's gained weight when he's a drug addict, especially when it comes to meth when it comes to any kind. of amphetamine like cocaine they usually lose weight because they are awake a lot and they don't like to eat as if they don't feel like eating anymore, they get so high that then they start to crash, so the euphoria lasts much longer with both, fetta means that, especially with meth, it lasts a little longer and requires a lot more dopamine from your reserves, so you crash even more. crashing basically means you're tired, you're knocked out, you're going to sleep.

If someone stabs you, you are irritated because you are aggressive and during that phase, which is the aggressive phase, many people will tell you this, but I will tell you because I experienced it myself, so if you are dating an addict who uses hard drugs, amphetamines that ruin things that change your personality, there is nothing you can do the moment they take them so the best

advice

is to just stay away, stay out of their reach when they crash. Don't be around them like that, they can't manipulate you that way, they can't attack you. Be there maybe when they are actively taking the drug without you joining in.

Be there at all other times, yes, but I know. I know it's hard, I know it just isn't, I just can't, you know, just say, do this and do that and then it will be wonderful because it's not, it's not easy, it never will be, it's never the joy of recovery. Oh my gosh, that's like the best feeling of your life because you felt like you'd just been through it, but you actually haven't been through it together, the person who's addicted drags you into it and that's so unfair to you and you don't. you should be on it. situation, they should have been open to you from the beginning if they weren't, for example, if they were and you still tried then that was your choice, you have to live that experience too and you have to know when I have had it, I want I mean, you heard my story in another video and I was fooled.

I caught him cheating. They strangled me. They sexually abused me. They abused me. They kept me away countless times. At night they stole my shit, he scratched my dad's car to the east, the tires of my dad's car, he called my friends. I didn't even mention that he called my friends and then asked about me. He was just too much, he sent me to my death. threats at the end and I want to say that was enough, but I think if you reach out, you will know the Internet age, look up Narcotics Anonymous, look up the 12 step program, maybe broach the subject with your loved one, talk to them about having these meetings.

There are other options online, you don't need to go there if you feel embarrassed, if you live in a city where it is allowed, for example, if you are addicted to heroin, if you live in a city where it is allowed. having these booths to have these are called public drug spaces or drug use spaces where they can use the drug in public with other drug users who just want to use it safely with security personnel, that's something that you can encourage them to do. If you're afraid of actually overdosing when it comes to heroin, I mean you can overdo it, isn't it any other drug too?

I'm not saying it's just for heroin, but it's the most common, the most used for heroin, talk to your friends. find some friends you can trust, open up, they would know what to do if they hadn't been in a situation like this, they won't do it, they probably won't understand you and they will probably tell you leave him or leave her, it's always easy if you're speaking from the outside it's always easy when you're not the one involved when you don't feel anything for that person when you're not in love it's always easy to talk to the person's family to talk to their friends try to reach out and see if there's something you can do together or maybe talking about it together, it helped me a lot, it helped me a lot, that his brothers suffered because of what he was doing, that his sister-in-law, his sister and his other sisters. -politician we are all suffering that her mother was even suffering but she didn't talk openly about it she didn't talk openly about her addiction maybe because she felt guilty and because she also allowed it she sent him to a man she keeps sending him money and supporting him but she talks to him the people around your partner or your loved one, that will help you, it will help you find comfort and it's okay to leave, really, really, it's okay even if it's for a moment, I mean, no It doesn't have to be permanent, always You can say, listen, you need to be sober until then, we can't have a good relationship, we can't have any relationship because you have to put yourself first, it's not a relationship if one is abusive. with you in some way, if one is using you in that way, if you can have the other partner's full potential or let's say even 50%, it doesn't matter, but at least if his attention is not on you and you are just high, then neither You're in a relationship and if you're just a tool to satisfy the person's cravings, like I often felt, then it's not a real relationship or it's not a real loving relationship, it's the wrong kind of love, so it's okay, It's okay to leave, I know, I know those feelings, I know that you could be in love deeply deeply deeply in love and it will hurt it will hurt it will hurt so much it will hurt like a it's okay it's okay to let go because maybe that's all it took that's all maybe that's maybe that's one way to get the person to get off their ass and start recovery if the addict doesn't have a support system two things can happen if they get better and if they get worse depending on where you live there is always a safety net for people like that depending on where you live again, so for example here in Germany there is such a safety net that if you lose everything you still can, there is always somewhere to go, even if you are a vagabond.

If you are unemployed if you don't have a place to live, there is always a place you can go here, so there is a place you can sleep. It's a little different in the United States. However, sometimes all it takes is for someone to fall flat on their face and reach their limit, but some people will never be able to recover on their own, so they need support, maybe the smartest thing here is to say, listen, I can't be. with you like this when you're like this, but if you need to recover, if you want to recover, I'll be there for you, that's something I should have done back then.

I feel like I should have done exactly that because what do you do? I have to lose you, you've already lost, you've already lost a partner and all you do, all you can do is watch them decline, watch them abuse their bodies, their minds, watch them get sucked into it and I mean you. You also have to prioritize yourself and maybe that will help your loved one, so I hope that helped you deal with an addicted loved one. Of course, I will post more content about my life too and yes, thank you. to watch and see you soon