GRWM FOR AN INFLUENCER EVENT IN NYC *extreme glow up transformation* ft. social anxiety

Get ready to see me in full 360 degree

glow

right now wait, that's so cute, I feel bad, no, I feel like I can't breathe, I'm going to move on, I have to be a great, hey guys, what is ? Up and welcome back to my YouTube channel. I just got out of the shower. I look like a baby. I wash my hair exfoliated because we are preparing for an

influencer

event

. I also hate the word

influencer

. I'm actually a little embarrassed, but. They invited me to that and I am excited but also very scared, so we will prepare together.

The

event

itself is tomorrow, but I needed to self-tan and start my preparation for this a day in advance. Because? Because I'm extra and I'm also an anxious person, so I need to mentally prepare myself for a good 24 hours before I want to apply tanner now, that way I can stay on my body until tomorrow when I can. wash it, so let me take it. My self tanner of choice today will be a lovely tan. I have their new platinum, but I think I want to go back to my roots and use the ultra dark just because I love it. one and I kind of miss her a lot, so my window broke by the way, that's why you hear so many noises.

My sister's dogs are playing in my backyard right now and they are making a lot of noise, so we have the self tanner. I really just want to apply it and not have to think about it for the rest of the day. All I want to say is get ready to see me have a full 360

glow

right now because I'm doing everything I always do. Neck first, I don't know why, so like I said, I'll tell you a lot more details about the event tomorrow, when I'm getting ready and stuff, because I plan on doing my makeup and doing everything.

Get ready with me and I want to have something to talk about while I'm doing my makeup, but the event is in New York City so I'm a little nervous, I don't have anyone to travel with, so it's Sam actually. driving me around which he's a king like I'm going to buy it as a gift or something because he literally always comes when I need a ride somewhere okay guys I just finished self tanning my entire body . I feel very sticky, I already feel it. Like me again, which is amazing, I literally don't feel like myself without self-tanner, which is a little dramatic, but it's the truth, so I'm deciding if I want to put self-tanner on my face or not, because sometimes I do. and it's okay but sometimes I break out a little and I really don't want it to break out tomorrow so I'm thinking about not self tanning it's literally an exercise like I'm not even kidding.

I want to blow dry my hair at least like the front pieces because every time I let my hair air dry, if I don't, they dry so bad and then it's hard for me to fix it when I'm styling, so I have I have to put on my leave-in conditioner and use Revlon's Unique One conditioner. This is my go to, literally that's all we're doing, at least my bangs are blown really well because those are the ones that give me the most trouble all the time and now we're just going to let the rest of them air dry all day and then We will comb it tomorrow.

I have no idea what to do with my hair, I don't know if. I want to curl it or what there is so much we need to decide I don't know my outfit I'm going to continue with my day now and I'll get back to this get ready with me tomorrow see you tomorrow everyone Bye, hello everyone, welcome, it's the next day. My face is very dry right now. I must like to moisturize, but first I'm going to exfoliate with Bha's Polish Toy Two Percent Liquid Scrub. I've been using this every day whenever I want to make sure my makeup looks great so I'm going to exfoliate a little bit first before moisturizing but it's the next day.

I just got out of the shower to rinse off my tan, so now we're looking. nice and tan currently it's two o'clock and tonight's event is at 7:30 so I need to leave my house probably an hour maybe a little over an hour early because it takes me about an hour and a half to get into the city , if there is traffic I thought I would start styling my hair a little earlier because I like it when my curls fall out and I decided I wanted to curl my hair so I like it when they have a good amount of time to fall out and I look very loose and natural because I don't want tight girls.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, I'd say I'm a little nervous just because I always get nervous before

social

events. 'cause I'm really weird like that even though I have absolutely nothing to be nervous about my brain just doesn't want to hear that like you know that ticking sound where it's like a fun fact about me, I've never been relaxed forever, yeah, Well, that's me and I like to get anxious about absolutely nothing, so tonight should be really fun and eventful, it's one of those things where I force myself to say yes because I really want to go. so no matter what my brain tries to tell me, you know my butt is going to be there, so yeah, I'm going to start curling my hair, I'll tell you a little more about the event while I'm at it.

Tonight's event is in New York City, it's at the Allure store again. If you guys have subscribed to my channel, you know I've been to events at the Allure store before going to two of them, but those events were nice. like they were like baby events like I would say those are like my first step into events because I'm pretty sure they were open to the public like I don't think you really needed an invitation like no. one like was checking your name at the door, but this one specifically like he said it just so I don't know, I really love the Allure store in the city, it's in Soho and it's so cute, this event is with a preview of tangles that I really like I love their products so I'm excited about that.

I wonder what they're going to like. This time, I'm bringing my friend Deanna as my positive backbone if you're looking at this girl. Hey what's up? Upstairs, I haven't seen her in a while since the summer of last year, so I'm excited to see her. She is so sweet. I literally love her. I'll have her drive down if you want to follow her. She is like. the best and I'm excited for her to come with me, number one because I missed her and number two because I feel like she's a lot more outgoing than me and I feel like I need to be with someone who is more outgoing so I like the balance. discover my weirdness, she is like a queen, so yes, I will meet her in the city and then we will go to the event together.

I'm going to quickly finish my hair. I'm going to listen to the canceled tanemojo podcast while I'm doing my hair and I'll get back to you once I'm done here okay guys so we have curly hair see how it's so bouncy and like really tight curls so by the time I'm ready to go, it will be a little relaxed and heavy, it won't be so tight and curly, hopefully, fingers crossed. I'm really praying that this weather doesn't get me dirty tonight, it's officially a It's time to pick out my clothes, I really don't want to wait until the last second because that's what I usually do and I don't want to look bad, okay, my problem is I never know what vibe I want to go with.

I'm so undecided, do I want to wear sneakers or boots? I feel like that's really important to start with because that's going to determine what kind of pants you're going to wear and then when you get your pants. I'll determine what type of top you're going to wear, so can I wear sneakers or boots since it's raining? I mean boots let me show you my boot options so you have these classic beige type boots like taupe with a little bit of black on the bottom I really don't know if I want to wear these just because I know they're so uncomfortable so I have these white ones that I haven't worn them yet I don't know if I should wear these because they are it's raining and I feel like I'm going to get them completely dirty and the last ones are between these two we have a black pair and these white ones so I'm thinking these could be really cool for tonight because they are like rain boots. material let me think, let me think, I don't know, okay, so we have some pants options, these are from White Fox, I thought they might be good because they have a little tie around the ankle where you like to tie it to the shoe. it actually looks so cute I also have these pants from Revolve that are super cool they are like that they are like cargo pants they would actually look pretty good with these boots right I feel like they would but then what top do I do ? get on let's try these on here we have the white fox jeans this is what they look like they are definitely an option I feel great in these I feel good and I feel like they look really cute so that's always a plus.

I like that these jeans can really be a good option, especially when they are tied, so they are definitely a good option. I'm going to try on their spin pants just to see, okay, here are the spin pants, they're really cute. I eat a little baggy, but I feel like that's the vibe that they're like they're meant to be a little baggy and they look that way, I just don't feel as confident in them as I do with the other pants. I don't know, I just feel like I really felt good in those other jeans, so I think I'm going to wear those now, we just have to find a top, okay, so we have the full fit and I have both options for shoes.

I like to tie my jeans with two things, so number one, I feel like the top is too much like a sports bra and I don't feel much vibe in it, so I might change the top to another white, maybe a little. A dressier top, I think white looks better in this situation, but I really wanted to wear these. I'm going to put on another white top and see if it makes it look better or I like it which I don't know, I'm just going to play around with it and then I'll get back to you with the final result when I tell you I just changed my clothes. literally 35 different times. um, I'm not lying, literally look at the state of my room.

Right now because of everything I was trying on, but I decided to completely change my outfit since it's basically completely different besides the jeans, so let me show you. I think this is the winner. I'm going to stick with it because Honestly, I don't care anymore and since I feel like this is more of an evening look, the other one I had was like during the day, this is what I came up with: I'm wearing this black Princess Paulie jacket , this is like a basic blazer in my wardrobe and plus it's cold and rainy so I feel like why wouldn't I wear it, so I'm wearing this little long sleeve crisscross blouse from Garage, it's so comfortable. and ribbed wearing the white fox jeans still and then I'll wear the little black booties and I'm actually much happier in this outfit because it's more comfortable and I feel better overall for the weather so I was getting a little nervous there I was like trying on so many different things, I tried on like two different white blouses for that other outfit and I just didn't love any of them so I'm happy with this one, I feel like I'm going to like it even more once I'm ready uh although we have a winner for the whole, which is good because I really need to start putting on makeup.

It's getting a little late. Oh wait, we also have to decide on accessories, like which bag. I bring it so that I never take this bag out as you know, I bought this bag for my birthday and I am in love with it. I love it so much, it's so cute and I haven't really worn it anywhere crazy because number one, I haven't really gone anywhere, number two, I'm really afraid of getting dirty, like I don't want to get those little white pieces dirty, wait , that's so cute, look, we're kidding, we're kidding, she'll finally have it.

Right now, I'm so excited. I've been contouring and highlighting with these little five-in-one Revlon Colorstay Skin Wake concealers. I have a bunch of these in PR like a bunch of different shades. I really love them, as I think I found them. perfect shades of both and I love that they have these little applicators on top because it makes contouring so easy you can really put the product where you want it to go so I usually put it here and my favorite part is contouring my nose with this because it's very small so we're going to go underneath and then a little bit above so yeah I thought I'd share this with you guys because I was pleasantly surprised how you like the work and you like to blend in and the color.

I'm waiting for Sam to get out of class because he'll come straight here and then we'll leave. I want to leave a little early just in case. traffic because we go like midday and stuff, there's usually a little bit of traffic. I haven't eaten anything like dinner yet which is a little worrying so it's making me really hungry but yeah I'm feeling good of course my

social

anxiety

is like it's still bothering me because why would it leave me alone ? You know, but honestly, like I said, I have nothing to worry about or be nervous about, it's supposed to be fun.

So I'm really going to work on it and just force myself not to get anxious, but one of my New Year's resolutions was to not let my

anxiety

determine if I do things, I just need to keep reminding myself that I would be vlogging tonight for you guys, but I'm not really in the mood, but nevertheless, I'm going to another event onnext weekend next Saturday, actually with Becca and I'll definitely be vlogging for that one because it's like during the day. a little brunch and I feel like it would be more like the scene. I'm going to go downstairs and see if I have a waffle or something I can eat instead of torturing myself.

I'm going to go and try to find something. maybe it's okay, I'm back, I have an English muffin with cream cheese because I literally had nothing to do for me, that was quick so I thought I could use this. It's very strange because I'm hungry, but I also feel like it. sick I'm going to feel sick to my stomach because of my anxiety I literally feel so upset to keep saying like my anxiety that's my anxiety but that's literally like reality when I say I have social anxiety this is what I mean it's so annoying and embarrassing like shut up like that's what I want to tell myself I just want to tell myself shut up it's so infuriating like I was fine all day and now I have to like strength I'm going to eat because I feel bad.

I'm going to do a look with the Wild Green Urban Decay palette that I just received. I love this palette. It has really nice tones. If anyone else struggles with social anxiety, just know you're not. that's just why I like to do these videos because I just want to leave a document for you that in a time like now it would probably feel amazing to me if I like cancel and not go, you can't afford to do that. that you have to get over it and do the things that you want to do deep down and not let anxiety lie to you and tell you that you shouldn't do this, you know, because every time this happens where I am I'm so anxious that I always end up having a really hard time. well and I think, wow, I would have missed out on this opportunity and this experience if I had let my anxiety win, so I like to document it and show you guys that you can get through it and you'll thank yourself later, even though I feel like I can't breathe, I'm going to be myself, we're just going to move forward, we're going to have a great time, we're going to like to pretend we're not paralyzed by anxiety, that's the goal and we're going to force ourselves to eat what's wrong with me.

Okay, I just finished putting on my makeup. I'm about to take off the tweezers. My hair is going to be the same. I have to have to be good because I don't have time, I think it looks pretty good and this will just have to be the look so here's the hair and makeup, I'm about to spray it on, putting on some rings, I just put on these necklaces where I actually put them on before I started putting on my makeup. Let me get my products. A little Charlotte Tilbury and where's my Dior lip oil? Well, I think I'm fine.

I would like to get dressed now. I'm afraid. I'll get it quickly. I got dressed and then I'll show you the full look. Well, I really need to go, but I'm already dressed. Let me show you the final results real quick, so let's check the final fit. We have the boots on the jeans. This top laser. I put a bunch of stuff in my bag with me, let me show you in the mirror, quick final adjustment, check how we did it. How do you like it? I feel like it looks so cool. I'm obsessed, so I'm leaving.

Drive to Sam's house now he'll take me, let's go before it's too late. Okay, he was running out of the house, but I'm finally in the car. Sam drives. The GPS says we'll be there in 49 minutes, which it is. Pretty good actually I thought it was going to be longer this is going to be a bit improvised what's in my bag for an event okay I'm going to show it's also a sam are you ready? We have my gum that only has four pieces left that I'm saving to eat when I get there. Your makeup looks good.

Thank you. Next we have my perfume. I forgot I need to wear this. Did you wear your most expensive makeup or something? Yeah, I guess I wore my pretty makeup. foundation, a brighter scented deodorant, I have a little claw clip just in case it rains later so I can put a clip in my hair and whatnot, and then I have my lip products, I think that's it everything yeah so I have my lip oil and my lip liner which I should put on right now too okay this is the finished look wish me luck I'm going to hold on and be a bad fab fish mode on right now Moment, I'll go now, listen. with some music to cheer me up yeah I love you good morning guys I feel like I owe you a little update to end this video but I ended up having literally the most amazing time so it was a lot of fun.

I'm so glad I made the effort to go and I just wanted to put this here just because I've literally proven myself wrong every time this happens to me and I really wanted to show you guys if you struggle with this like well I always wish I could cancel plans in the past because to my anxiety and as I always would have liked to ask myself, what if I just pushed myself to go?, maybe this would have happened, blah blah, and that's how I've been recently. I never say no to plans for that reason even if my anxiety makes me not want to go and it has always been worth it in a positive way as I haven't had a bad experience with this sort of thing yet so I just wanted to do it . document it because if you struggle with the same thing as me and it almost feels like it's holding you back from things in your life, literally don't let it go and fight through it because I promise you you'll thank yourself later, you'll be done.

I had a great time, I met so many amazing people. In fact, I'm going back to the city right now. I'm about to start a new vlog so I'll tell you everything in that vlog so stick around. tuned in, it should come right after this video, but yeah, I had a great time. I have a small gift bag. There are so many amazing products here, as I'll show you very quickly. I have a whole bottle of this hard seltzer water. In fact, it's so good that we had it at the event. A brush to tangle a tangler.

A little scalp scrub that I am very excited to use. We have a mask with loops. These are like face masks and they look so amazing I can't wait to try them. These are literally like a heat activated LED smart mask. I have no idea what it is. They had it at the event and I couldn't really figure it out, but it looks like a gimmick. Don't know. New dry shampoo. from amica, I love this dry shampoo, it smells amazing and I literally ran out of this so I'm really excited. We have another little mask, a beauty blender and then what is this?

I think this is a perfume that you scent and a mascara. Literally so amazing, I can't wait to use all of these products. Let this be a message to you. Never let your anxiety dictate what you do in your life. Your anxiety is literally lying to you. That is my biggest motto. Your anxiety is lying to you. and tell you things that aren't true and make you feel things you don't really feel there you go, I'm about to start a new vlog right now. I have so many exciting things I'm doing today that just happened. So last minute, you'll definitely want to stay tuned, hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications for my posts.

Thank you very much for joining me on this trip and I had a great time, so I will see you. in the next goodbye so you