Pranking A Clueless Audience Member | Jimmy Carr

The only thing I'm going to do next, professional ladies and gentlemen, is do some kind of talk show where I talk to people you know. This type of setup, a couple of chairs, you face each other. Parkinson, Jonathan Ross, Graham and everything. It would be great to have those kinds of shows, but you can't start doing them on TV like the first day, that would be complicated, so what I thought I would do on this tour is practice getting someone out of the

audience

every night. with an interesting job or claim to fame and interview them and get some interview practice So, to that end, does anyone have an interesting job or claim to fame?

Oh God, your hand has gone up, what are you doing? TV in Poland I'll take that to mean you work in the adult film business, claim to fame, well done, you and Polish radio, well let's finally seal the deal, any further claims on them, anyway, you're a priest who is a priest for priests. I'm looking at you, I think you may have had some dealings with priests just for a second, just turn around so people can see if I'm being cynical or it's definitely not a priest, there are other interesting jobs, well, sorry , you own yours. pizzeria you sell a cold for yourself I own my own pizzeria, there is a big problem with obesity in this country, you should be ashamed Pizza well made, well made and make the best pizza, you say I'm sorry, voted best pizza in Britain for your best independent Independent pizza I didn't care the first time, you can, any other unusual job or fame, you're a funeral director, I love it, your voice couldn't go better with your job, okay, it's a funeral director, It's nice, it's interesting.

I like it as a job that is fascinating, any other interesting job, what's your name, Caroline, what do you do? Caroline, you work in television, what do you do in television, you work in irrigation, you work in Holby City, uh, well done, I love it, I love it. You're done with Holby City. I think the brilliant move with Holby City recently was casting Hugh Laurie and changing the location to America. Everything is ready. I think we should talk to the funeral. Should we talk to the funeral director? What are the chances of you getting down here?

Don't jump or have to bury yourself. If you can get here, then we could talk to the funerals. That sounds exciting as he goes down. Yes, give it a. Smasher, he makes his way as he goes down because it's a big old place. It would take a minute. Any other claim to fame in the room. Any other. Any other... Exciting. You're a paleontologist in Birmingham. just in case there are dinosaurs, there are dinosaur bones, yes, and look at those, not just dinosaurs, do you have another part-time job at ASDA? What else do you look at different fossils?

Wow, I know, I'm sure paleontology and I'm sure it's a wonderful, brilliant scientific thing, but I did a project on dinosaurs when I was six and I loved it. I was very excited and I took a lot of pictures and I glued them together and I made a whole project about dinosaurs and I love them and then what I did and this is an interesting note for you. I grew up, support. I'm still doing my dinosaur book. I like it. What is it? I will please you. What is your favorite dinosaur? A velociraptor due to Jurassic Park.

Oh. blue you could have also said Barney Move up um because this Undertaker is gone. I'm a little worried that there was a death in town and he was called away. Where is? Where the hell do you come from? Come and say hello, how are you? Hello, right, how are you, sir? Sit down. I'm fine. What is his forgiveness? How am I? Yeah, okay, he's not a gangster rapper, so hold that like a normal human being. Okay, what's his name? I did not do it. even get your name John John okay I'll tell you I'll set this up probably hello my name is Jimmy Carter.

I'm joined tonight by John, the funeral director from Birmingham, what's your, what does he do, your kind of how, what does he do? your normal day involves making coffins and doing funerals and doing funerals yes, making coffins, yes, collecting uh deceased, I'm a little terrified for you, how do you do it so you pick up the body in a hearse or right in the back of a transit in a private? ambulance it's not like a Transit but it's a little more sophisticated a little more sophisticated when you say a private ambulance it's just a Transit with ambulance written in pain dirt now it's not right so go and pick them up from the fact so I have to show up all kinds of You know the black suit and stuff yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm wearing, this ain't nobody recognizing me, they're not going to recognize you anyway because they're dead, I just can't believe I'm here if you know this this is unreal it must be lovely to meet someone who's still breathing it can change for you um you get involved in embalming uh uh not so much no when I started I had a little Yeah, I said good with the green stuff, but not so much now that I've been on it doing.

I'll be doing it for years, sorry, not so much now it seems like there was an incident that stopped you from doing it, no, no. It sounds like I'm going to wait, stay away from that, that's what I'm saying hello, no, no, I'm not. Don't do so much with the bodies now, no, no, I have more to do with coffins and funerals, and now I have Do you work in this industry? Is there anyone now? Necrophilia is something that is talked about. How many ask? Because people think they'll get away with it, but in the end you know they'll get caught because something rotten will snap on them.

It's my necrophilia. Joke everyone, you're welcome. Well, they caught me but you still haven't been great. Foreign. My favorite, like a funeral joke. I won't make a joke. I don't know if this is based on anything real, but you might know. even an old woman, beautiful, nice, and she knows that her husband has died and she goes to the funeral home where you would work with her and she is talking to the guy who does your job and she says that he is very well groomed, she said that you know. That kind of classic stuff never looked better, he looks lovely, but I wanted him in his blue suit and you got him in his brown suit.

Could you put him in his blue suit, not his brown suit? The guy says no problem, ma'am, and then he leans out the door and goes to swap the heads of two and four because presumably once you bury them, things get stolen because people get buried with jewelry and stuff, that is a good watch. Man, and what did you live in Birmingham? Well mourned, go on the outskirts of Birmingham Black Country in the racist black country, um, what is that? That's kind of interesting, how did you get to this? How did you get into bingo? I did it for work experience. when you were at school, you did your work experience, yes, it seems you were late for that meeting, what's left sir, well, you're going to work with corpses, that's a great thing, although isn't it sure that someone woke up ever? because you hear stories about something to do with fluids in the spine, you hear stories about Bolt type people standing upright oh no, it's never enough, none of that, just place them however you want, you're far away, John, look, you've come and you have shared it. a little bit about what you do and I think it's an interesting thing to do, it's like it's an ordinary, lifeless job as a funeral director with the kind of dead bodies and things and death, you have to deal with that difficult part of life , but anyway, um I feel like I should give something back and what I'm good at is writing jokes.

I'm good at making one-liners so I'd like to tell you a joke and it's almost like my party Beast John is what I can do what I can offer the world are jokes so what would you like a joke about it could be anything it could be funeral address could be get married could be anything you want anything I'll write a joke from the top of my head just really fast drum and bass music okay why did the lion get lost in the forest? I don't know, because the jungle is huge, yeah, I think it was too easy, I think it was kind of too easy. so one would go for something else, one would go for something more difficult, more do anything, it could be as abstract as you want, motorcycles, okay, okay, so two types of motorcycles like bikers like Hell's Angel, bikers, right , two guys, huge bikes, uh, walking. in a bar, everyone is in the Harley-Davidson kit, whatever, helmets on, they enter the bartender's season, the bartender goes for drinks, gentlemen, and the bikers go with cheese and chips, that's pretty okay and now this is not like a trap.

What I didn't do, I don't know you well, so after John I had him you just said bikers, you could have said anything or bikes and I do bikers and then and two of them and then the brilliant John, everyone give him a round of applause, John. Thank you so much, I really appreciate coming, thank you so much, Sean, everyone. I really enjoyed my brilliant motorcycle joke. Hi, I'm Jimmy Carr, the guy you just saw in that video, thanks for watching because somehow I get money. that I don't know how I don't know, but it's probably leaked through some kind of ad that you watch before watching the video maybe or maybe you subscribed anyway thanks for watching and in some way that benefits me and I hope to see you in a live show sometime down the road on Sunny Road, good luck.