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Why I Left

Feb 22, 2020
oh hello in a minute oh this is weird okay what do I start with this? eh, first hello, how are you? I hope you're well. A minute has passed. Actually, it's been 2 months since I uploaded a video. I have no plans. For this video I don't have anything written down other than, say, shaving because now it looks like I have Cheeto dust on my face, regardless. I haven't told people on Twitter. I'm up to Instagram. I've told people on Twitter and. Instagram and everything, if you follow me there, you understand a little bit what's going on, if you don't follow me there, I'll leave you the link in the description because there are a lot of things I say there and I don't say them.
why i left
I'm really saying it here because I want this to be like a show, you know, and I want to be able to be personal like this video sometimes and then be extremely personal there and post memes or whatever if you've been here for a while. Although you may have already realized where I am again because that wall used to be the orange and black acoustic foam wall. This wall on his back. I have a torch to label hate. I'm fine. I'm back in Los Angeles. I moved. About two weeks ago I wanted to try to get back early, but there were a lot of things in and around this house that needed to be done.
why i left

More Interesting Facts About,

why i left...

This house was on or rented for a year every time I was in Washington and people were just having parties here and there, there were like holes in the walls and stuff, so it's been a little messy, but I'll continue with the main theme of why did I take a break for so long. To summarize, there are a lot of things that relate to each other, but you know I was on tour from September to December, I was gone for five or six days and then I would come back for two or three days sometimes. I wouldn't come back at all, it would be a flight to LA or I'd like the awards show or things in between that I needed to do, so what ended up happening is I was gone for, you know, weeks at a time and then I came back and because I was doing it daily at the time I took the photo, because I had to go back and try to shoot a week or two weeks worth of videos in two days, you know, I mean, if you notice this is the first year in five. years that I am more than a video bastard man and the reason is that I just didn't feel the videos were good enough, it's hard to admit that I have gone through a lot of self-reflection and self-realization in the last few months is one of the main reasons why I wanted to take a break.
why i left
I realized I just dove in. I'm a popologist about it. Those have been around for a while, as I said before. I struggle a lot with mental health issues. I know it's not something you just put aside, it's something you take seriously, otherwise it'll catch up with you and that's exactly what happened, so I was on tour, I was putting out videos in a hurry, I was just putting everything out there. that he could, he was not proud. From the videos that I was putting out, I was just taking this, yeah, and then I came back from tour and then Sammy and I, Sammy and I broke up, um, I'm not going to get into too much, Sammy has the dogs.
why i left
I love people. Give back Craig's dog, Craig's dogs. It was a mutual decision for Sammy to take the dogs, so please don't bother her anymore. Are we still friends? Yeah, you know, this was a clean break in the sense. that we don't hate each other, it's not like we're blocking each other from speaking or whatever the reasons happen, the dogs are because we have you. He's a very anxious little guy, as you know, and we have Ryan because you guys needed a friend whenever he was filming videos and Sammy was streaming, so the thought of separating those two dogs was a no-brainer.
Those others I keep the dogs or Sammy keeps the dogs for me as well as for Tor, for example, I travel a lot, Sammy. he's home, you know he's a full time streamer so he'll be able to take care of the dogs better than me if I'm flying around, I don't want to have to get them in and out of dog hotels etc. also so me ryan is from minnesota you he's from ohio orion is from minnesota so ryan's sister is with sammy's grandma so i thought it was cool the fact that you know that orion is going to come back and be friend of a sister again.
I know I thought that was cool and I thought you know I want to be able to make sure the dogs have the best life possible so you made the decision. Hurts? Of course. I love those dogs to pieces that Sammis gave me. They gave me the option to come to Minnesota and see them whenever I wanted, which is amazing, yeah, it's over, it's been bad, so with the tour and my mental health everywhere I wasn't. proud of the videos I was uploading, I broke up with Sammy and then Sammy now lives in Minnesota and then I moved back to Los Angeles, that's the gist.
I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible. because you guys always like to just drag it back in, but it's also the first time I've seen you in like two months. I missed them, you know, it's only when they're away, like I deleted Twitter from my phone for a while. Instagram of my thumb. I just disappeared I wasn't on the Internet I didn't do anything related to the Internet I turned off my emails I turned off everything and considering my work like for you like YouTube Twitter Instagram and all that that's your escape from reality it's just getting home from work, school, whatever whatever, but every time someone else's escape is your career, can't I go on Twitter and just relax?
Know? I'm always thinking of stupid things like a post there about how to introduce myself anyway so I just liked it I didn't continue with you two other than watching some videos of the youtubers I watch I just dove in and it took me like I said when it came back a lot earlier but I stayed , it took me a long time to bring all the things, to fix this place, everything, so we come back, it feels good, I will be right back with daily videos, probably not just because it will take a while to get everything back in order. play but I hope you can stand me I have a lot of exciting things coming up this year you know I'm excited about the future I am you know life happens you realize as you get older you know you move away from people like when you get older things change.
I realized that my mental health was all over the place. I didn't feel like myself for the past year. I'll be honest with you, it's been a strange year for me and I just didn't do it. I didn't like the person he was. I think that's the hardest thing to admit. I erased everything from my calendar and said to myself, "Oh, she's going to work with me." I went to Mexico for the first time with my managers just to be friendly. Getting away from it all was fantastic, it was the best thing I've ever done, it was the first proper holiday in three years.
I mean, I went to Hawaii once, but obviously that was after Mochi passed away, so I wouldn't make it into class as a vacation or a holiday just because it was, we went there to try to escape reality a little bit, but it was still hard, you know, and I've been doing this for nine years in May, this channel will be "I was nine years old and I've been making videos constantly for nine years, so you know I took two months off, there were days where I would get up and sit at my desk and think no, I can't.
I can't do this, this is not like this. I have lost weight again. I'm already recording my weight loss video. I already have a lot of things planned. I'm excited for this year. Oh, I can't. I tell you I can't, but trust me, this year is going to be amazing. I'm changing things up a bit. I have some videos to post, like streaming memes. I recorded some clips, so if you see the old background orbit, for example, the dogs will be in the manger, that will probably be the last time they will appear in a video, which hurts, but it's okay, you know, we move forward together.
Well, right now we're basically a family. together, if you see someone in the common section of those videos like, oh, I thought I was in the other place, it's because they were just pre-recorded videos that I just made. I should have apologized for the chip, by the way, like Matt did. help, sadness, oh we are, I apologize for diving in like I did, I just wasn't happy, I didn't want to force the content anymore, I didn't want to just not want to put myself out there YouTube is a portfolio for people to come in, new people are coming in and saying , oh, I like this guy and they watch other videos, they subscribe, but for me it was just upload the video, get the video, we're going on tour, you know, relationship problems and everything else. in between so I took the time to deal with the breakup, the move and everything else, and I've worked on my mental health.
I am now a happier person when it comes to my mental health. I feel like I'm feeling better so thank you for putting up with me through one of the hardest times I've ever had and when I came back there were like there were hundreds of thousands of you saying welcome back it's so good to have you. That time I checked my Twitter, you guys say I miss you, I miss your content, it's strange not having you on my account every day, it made me feel appreciated and when you take a step back from reality and see there is so much.
Many of you appreciate what I do, that makes me happy, so thank you for staying and being with me. I want to continue working on myself. I will be better. I will be happy. I'm back. In Los Angeles, that means a million more opportunities and yes, this is strange. I'm so sorry if it looks like a weird video or has a slow pace or whatever, that's just me being honest with you, it's not normal, you know, I'm usually like that. Wow, I wanted to be honest with you, so thank you. If you want, follow me on my social networks Twitter and Instagram and everything below because it's a tik-tok.
I've been doing Tech Talks, for example, I did the quick part. from Godzilla, you know his rap. God, I'm going to the quick Godzilla part, so I'll leave that link in the description too, but it occurred to me what I'm doing. I want to do these update videos more often. So I can be more personal with you and this will change. Apologies if it's the background or whatever. I'm just putting things together. That's it, let's get back to it. It's so weird. OK. I love them. I really appreciate you. Thank you for the kind messages Thank you for your support Thank you for everything I'm so excited about this year.
I'll be involving you in some videos this year, so keep an eye out for that store, the boy will be back. running and talking to designers right now like they're crazy, like high profile designers who want to be part of the store, the guy from that place it's about a takeoff store link in the description Koller, so much music is coming , we are Making Europe for the demonetized tour is great. I don't mind saying it. I know the dates still. No. Are we going to do Australia? Yes. Anthony and I have the touring bug. It's one of the best things I've ever done in my life.
I'm very excited to bring it to Europe. I'm very excited to bring it to Australia. I can't say anything right now because we literally know nothing about it, but I'll keep you posted as we do. I love your face, you're so cute and I'll see you all in a video very, very soon, okay, crazy, okay, that's all I appreciate it guys, I love you.

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