Sherpas | Climbing the Mountain of Bi-Polar | Debbie Foster | TEDxCrestmoorParkWomen

Okay, so a few weeks ago, after eating Chinese takeout, I opened my fortune cookie and it said, you will live a very long life. My gut reaction was oh Sh. I was diagnosed with bi

polar

or manic depression 12 years ago without asking my consent, my brain enters. An unbearably long episode of devastating lifelessness or weeks of extreme euphoria are not only unbearably long episodes for me, but both extremes are confusing and terrifying for the people who love me and the people who work with me, I am well aware that, While it could be my diagnosis, the effects of the illness have a huge impact on those around me.

I'm not the only one who feels helpless. The simplest definition I can give for both extremes is that depression means I can't get started and mania means I can't. I can stop most people live their lives somewhere in the middle or what I call - and ultimately the goal of anyone living with my condition is to exist somewhere in the middle to live in the - the space between the two extremes. Who am I when I live? in the - in essence I am a connector and a creative and I have great ideas. I have a great sense of humor.

I love children and I love dogs. I am a great writer and communicator. I am a deep thinker. I love making things with my hands I am one of those teachers that you want your children to have and I am obviously very humble - for almost three decades I lived most of my life in the - and not in the extremes Who am I in? Depression Remember those old jello molds where pieces of fruit cocktail grapes get trapped in the jello? When I'm depressed, my brain is literally stuck in jelly. I can't access any part of my creative mind.

I can't connect with people. I am a mobile brain and body. I sleep and watch hours and hours of television. I will spend days locked in my house with the shutters closed and the only thing that gives me pleasure is unhealthy food. I can go weeks without showering and days without brushing my teeth, I can go months without going to the supermarket. I understand that I want to die in a very deep way. Depression is humiliating, it isolates me and I feel alone once or twice a year. I visit my Kingdom of wives. Something will get my grapes. gelatin with so much force that it will bring me back to life it's like that brilliant Robin Williams movie that awakens when people in comas come to life and anything is possible mania is an explosion of magical ideas and experiences that come so fast that they flow out of my brain like he's been trapped for months because he's been trapped for months.

I'm very excited when it arrives. I will go three or four days without sleeping because I feel invincible and finally alive. I start making art I'll clean and organize and create I'll go for walks I'll write and record all my magic on a recent magnet On a recent manic trip I realized that just because my brain is moving again doesn't mean people will understand what's coming out. from him in In the world I look crazy, but in my world it's anything, but it can be very scary and confusing for people who care about me to see me in a manic episode.

The most frustrating aspect of mania for me is knowing it's going to end and knowing instinctively that I have to be the one to stop this, the ratio between my depression and my mania is ridiculously unfair, probably 12 to 1 for every 12 depression. I have an awesome round of mania. They have something in common, although living on both ends is lonely, humiliating and exhausting, so why am I coming out to all of you? After all, sharing my private moments is humiliating, not to mention how hard it was for me to find something to wear after seven years of takeout, because it's real, you live with it. you could live with this like me, where you have a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, an employee or colleague who also lives with this and they also live with it, and so do you, and you know and I know that you feel helpless while There is no magic pill to take it away and I have tried more.

There is something powerful you can do to help yourself and your loved ones identify your Sherpas. Sherpas are angels on earth who help us get out of depression and come down from mania. My Sherpas help. I do life when I can't manage on my own we need help with the basics of life groceries laundry errands mail there's my sherpa Cheryl Cheryl is the kind of person who loves to step into a mess and turn it around, it's usually the first personal text message When I feel like I'm coming out of a depression, my house is a mess and I know she will come in and help me put it back together without judging me one bit as a way to maintain my house.

I have three more little Sherpas, Patti Esther and Vivian. They come every Thursday if my house looks like an adult lives there, that helps me stay more functional, then there's my Sherpa Sarah, she's a yoga therapist who comes to my house once a week. Now I feel uncomfortable exercising in front of people, so I do yoga. and meditation in a private place is transformative she will like the next one is Katie, she is my hair sherpa every two weeks. I go with Katy and she washes my hair and blows the record on me. This may seem like an extravagance, but it's one of the things that helps me.

I feel good. I also have many Sherpas that I don't pay for. I want to recognize my newest Sherpas, TEDTalk Sherpas Daphna Michael and Christi, so when I applied to become a TEDx speaker I was in... or a manic episode, but I was definitely not in depression, but when I found out I was going to be a TEDx speaker, I was and have been in depression for the past few months. I finally finished this a couple nights ago and was given permission. bring it to the stage so thank you sometimes we need to make accommodations for people it's very important that's why some of my other

sherpas

my preschool work.

Sherpas having a job is very complicated. I offer a lot, but depending on my condition, I can't always show it. top I was laid off from my jobs due to manic depression, so I learned to be honest with my employers and coworkers. I am so grateful to be in a place that values ​​my gifts enough to overcome my absences and is full of magical, magical children, the best medicine for me, my closest friends, sisters-in-law, brothers and cousins, are Sherpas; They are the ones who keep me connected, they keep calling and texting even if I don't answer, their perseverance continues.

I tied up they don't hurt me for not answering and they hug me when I'm ready to connect I've had a lot of sherpa psychiatrists and it's okay when they're not with you the whole climb because I know my psychiatrists are learning a lot more about the bi

polar

condition through me than through any book and I am currently looking for a new psychiatrist and lastly, my parents are the most burdened Sherpas. I don't think any parent wants to see their adult child's struggle like mine, my parents are everything to me and have had to bear not only the financial implications of my diagnosis, but also the emotional turmoil of simply seeing me. deteriorate and I am a sherpa in my own way too because of my first hand experience I help others understand what the condition is we have to be open about it we must come out of our closets and be the force that takes mental health to the tipping point thank you,

sherpas

don't give up, they don't judge if you need a sherpa, reach out and get one, two or five, invest your resources and then I received a powerful quote the other day from one of my sherpas.

I don't know who wrote it, but I need to share it in closing. When I am replaced by us, even illness becomes well-being, thank you.