Chandler Bing being the DEFINITION of SARCASM

I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up. Other saddle-shaped cows would never have survived for a long time. Oh, wait a minute. I used to do medical experiments on myself all the time. Ah, finally an explanation, okay, I have one leg, three breasts and one wing. Well, how do you find clothes that fit you? Ross and Charlie Joey and Rachel Phoebe and Mike we're the only ones leaving with the same person we came with and that's not true, I came with Monica and I'm leaving with something weird uh, I don't have anything else planned for you, would you mind? tell us what it is?

Sorry, I'm keeping this in the qt, well, whatever. I hope it involves winking. I'm going to be happy this year. I'm going to make myself happy. Do they want us to leave the room or guys, guess what, guess what, guess what it's really fun, uh, okay, the fifth dentist relented and now they. we're all recommending trident oh that's great with my luck that will be him him him ross not him uh 253 his eyes are on the sparrow my parents divorced when I started using humor as a defense mechanism stab

bing

myself with a fork I'm done stab

bing

myself with a fork, what happens when you're cooking a steak, oh okay, I don't eat meat right, so how do you know if the vegetables are cooked right?

One of my clients died on the massage table today. Oh my gosh, oh, that's a little more relaxed than you want them to be. I'm getting a new brain. There are such wonderful things happening at work and in your personal life. I can not believe it. you two had sex in your dream well i'm sorry it was a one time thing i was really drunk and it was someone else's subconscious go see frankie my family has been going with him forever he made my first brought when I was 15. no, wait 16. don't excuse me 15. okay, when it was 1990. okay, you have to stop the swab when there's resistance, I'll have the cajun catfish, anything else, yeah, how about a verse about killing me softly?

You're going to sneeze on my fish, aren't you Chandler? What are you doing Chandler? Oh my god, you're smoking again. Well, actually yesterday I was smoking again today. I'm still smoking. Incredible why your family is Scottish Why your family? ross, does anyone know a good taylor, you need your clothes changed no, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw me with chalk, I have his machine, his answering machine, no, interestingly, his leaf blower picked up, we'll flip it , ducks or clowns, oh, let's flip for baby, you have a better idea, okay, call it here, heads, heads, it's yeah, we have to assign heads to something okay, okay, okay, uh, Dox's heads because ducks have heads, scary clowns came.

To your birthday, I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them, okay, what did we say? It was your only gift to us, no stupid jokes, but I thought it was for the wedding rehearsal. Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds, huh? So how many cameras do I really have? Basically you get your yayas by taking money from all your friends, yeah yeah, and I get my eyes from ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost. a little less, can you hear anything?

Oh yeah, someone just said, can you hear anything? Just a kiss. I won't tell you, Joey, no means no, hey, sorry, we don't have your sheep. Does anything special you know? Okay, yes. ross pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of narnia wait a minute wait a minute you repel women all the time hey, i have been married three times no homo habilis was erect the australopithecus was never fully erect well, Maybe yes I was nervous you didn't cry when Bambi's mother died yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer condoms hey you don't know how long we'll be here we may have to repopulate the earth and condoms are the way to go that just couldn't face another failed marriage, okay, let me step in and ask you at what point you thought this was a successful marriage.

I'm not very good at giving advice. May I interest you in a sarcastic comment? A little bit of cheese. I bought you a gift, my God, where did you hide it? Wait, there's something different. I went to that tanning place your wife suggested. That place was the sun. How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over? because I went to an all-boys high school and God is making up for that, what a small world and yet I never met Beyonce, hey, you know, not all spring breaks are like that, what did you do on yours? ?

I went to Egypt. With my dad I can see it now look dad, it's the sphinx someone at work ate my sandwich well, what did the police say? By 2030 there will be computers that can perform the same number of functions as a real human brain, in theory. You could download your thoughts and memories onto this computer and live forever as a machine and I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. Thanks for helping. Joe, well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look there's still a box I have to unpack oh my god you almost gave me a heart attack oh it was so hard not to laugh so why is he leaving?

It's a school night and you have a lot of homework to do. Yes, your molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow. I'll tell you good luck with that. Okay, should we have some coffee? Where?