Why You Care So Much (and How to Stop)

You know where it comes from Most of the suffering you go through in life is because you worry too

much

You worry too

much

about other people's opinions of you Your job All the little inconveniences that happen to you on a daily basis If you put too much emphasis In these things, it can lead to a life full of unhappiness, but once you dig deeper and understand why you worry so much, you can control your habitual response to certain situations and you can develop a mindset that doesn't allow almost anything to affect you. This video will be split into two parts, the first part will go over why you

care

so much about things that have a negative impact on your mental health and in the second part of the video I will go over How I Learned or Unlearned.

I must say that I

care

so much about these things that they are having a negative impact on my life and I really shouldn't care, so I advise you to look at the whole thing to fully understand why. Do you care, then let's get into the first part, where does our incessant care come from? It really comes from these three basic needs that every human being desires and these are our need to feel in control, our need for acceptance or connection and our need for coherence. Feeling like we are in control explains our attraction to things like knowledge, food, shelter, wealth, these are things we want to be able to control in our lives, which is why we worry so much about them when we start to feel like we are losing control. because of one of Those things indicate something in us that you must act on to regain that control.

This is also why we try to control other people's opinions of us by pleasing many people. Many people are very people pleasers because they don't want to feel. like they can't control someone's opinion of them and even though they can't, if people like them they know they'll have a better chance at it, it also explains our attraction to risk taking guesses or novelties because these are ways for us. to test or improve our control and we want to have control because that is how we develop in an evolutionary perspective, if we do not have control of our environment, of the things around us, of our thoughts, then we are not going to do it.

Being able to survive, the second, which could have the biggest impact on most people's mental health, is our need for acceptance and connection. As human beings, there is very little we can achieve alone. Evolution has programmed us to assume that we have a better chance of surviving if we are accepted by everyone and obviously this is completely outdated, now you know that we are not fighting for our lives to survive every day like in prehistoric times, we don't necessarily need that group and we all want to feel attractive and seductive to people because we want that connection and we want the opportunity to be able to reproduce with someone.

This is again our outdated mind dominating how we should feel. I'm very sure that those guys don't care what people think of them and that's why many of us find it difficult to spend time alone with ourselves, not only because we haven't fulfilled ourselves, we haven't learned to love ourselves. to ourselves, but also because when we spend a lot of time alone we feel like we're not really doing it. fit into any group and also a self-realization, in addition to connecting with people, we also want to feel connected with the world around us, with what we do, with who we feel we are and that is why emotions and stories, and not the facts and the numbers, they resonate so much. deeply with us and, lastly, our need for consistency supports the first two.

The only way we know there are breaks in coherence is if we are not in control of something or if we are not making connections to the things we want our life to be about. consistent because then it is easily controllable because we know what is going to happen next. Many people feel anxiety when they cannot predict their future, this makes them worry more when something goes wrong in our lives that is different from the norm or we have a bad opinion of ourselves we naturally start to worry more, this strangely also explains why we feel so attracted or we worry more about mysterious things because they are unpredictable, it makes us worry more about them, this happens a lot in similar relationships with people, if not Not knowing much about someone if they are not very sincere, if they are not in social media posting all the time, it gives it a kind of mysterious vibe and we naturally care more about their lives and from a biological perspective it was to our best advantage to pay attention to the inconsistencies within our environment within the people, this ensures that we are paying attention to the right things that are not predictable and could possibly cause us harm and one more idea that I want to add to this is that I think what gets left out a lot of times is society's programming to that you worry about those things or emphasize them even more.

You know, the way society is set up, at least in the West, is to really overvalue. Status and appearance determine above all your value in modern society and that is through the media, that is, through the things we consume, we think that these things really matter to us more than personal fulfillment, more than happiness, more than finding meaningful relationships. value status and how you look, how attractive you are and when you see things in the media that put these things on a pedestal and you don't understand them, you don't achieve them, that makes you worry a lot more now, this is what most of people forget.

Before we move on to the second part of this video, I just want to say one statement: you can control your reaction to any situation that comes your way in your life. Many people forget this. They have control over their mind. You can get your mind back. control and they can choose not to worry about these things that they really shouldn't allow to have a negative effect on them, but that's obviously a lot easier said than done, so what do we do? Let's get into the second part, how can we

stop

worrying? Understanding everything. of the reasons why we worry so much about things that we shouldn't worry about is a good start, you know, it makes you aware of these things and once you realize these things, you can think to yourself once you feel that you are starting to worry about something that is having a negative impact on you too much, you can say, okay, which of these needs is producing this amount of attention in me and then you can just say, okay, this is something that has been connected to For me, it is something that is a biological need, it is something that I can master as a self-aware human being, as a modern human being who knows how to control his reactions to situations, but that does not completely destroy all interest in those things. , it just helps. you deal with them better, so what it really requires us to do is adopt a new mindset to adopt a new perspective on how we see the world and not just the world.

I guess I would say the entire universe about what life really is. what I have adopted and this is what I am going to tell you right now. I wouldn't call myself a nihilist because I believe life has meaning. I believe the meaning of life is simply to experience what life has to offer. Offer to make the most of life, whatever that means to you, to be successful doing what you love, positively impacting people while making a living doing it. I think that's the true meaning of life, but it's something I always come back to when I start to realize that I'm worrying too much about something that I really shouldn't be worrying about or when I'm going through a rough patch or getting a lot of criticism, I simply realize how insignificant my problems are compared to the rest of the universe in the grand scheme of things the human perspective of a single human being is absolutely nothing you are a single human being in a single state in a single state. country on a single continent on a single land or a single planet I guess I should say in a A single galaxy among billions, I think billions of galaxies, once you realize that and once you take this perspective, it just dissolves all your problems or at least almost all your problems because you realize many of my problems, many of the things that matter to us are completely insignificant, they don't really matter, I think many of us tend to forget how short our time in the Earth compared to how long the universe has been and how long it will continue to be, and you can compare your problems to other problems that are happening in the world that are on a larger scale and you can realize that you have a small amount of time on this earth and that nothing is permanent, the biggest thing for me is simply realizing the impermanence of everything. that one day everyone is going to die that one day all your problems will cease to exist that one day all the memories you've ever had are going to be nothing and for a lot of people this is a really depressing thought that Nothing is going to matter one day, but it is what more liberating.

Once you realize this, you realize that you can do anything you want in life and that if someone criticizes you for being who you really are, you like your authentic self like them. Are they giving you that? That doesn't matter at all. We are all going to end up in the same place that is buried underground, which really makes you think that one person is really better than another. All this life is simply. a great game to make the most of to experience the most it's not about who has the most money it's not about who has the highest status who has the most friends all those things no longer matter to me once I adopted this mentality and it allows me to simply act according to my authentic self.

I'm not afraid of dancing in public. I will make jokes in public like I have done. I have tons of videos here on YouTube where I make jokes in public or just talk. or I'm just talking about topics on the internet and in real life that people will criticize me for, I know they will criticize me, but you know, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, I just want to live my life the way I want and if I They judge by what you will definitely be if you are not a people pleaser, so whatever it is, it doesn't matter anyway, I have the only reason I used to care. about these things is because I would let my old biologically programmed brain control me if nothing is permanent how are you going to overvalue all these opinions that other people have about you or you know things that happened that were bad or that you regret in the future? past or what could happen in the future the fact that the future is unpredictable, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things anyway, so just live your life how you want to live it, be the person you really want to be and be. . the person who makes you happiest this is the most powerful way to relieve yourself from the care of your mind and your body now if you enjoyed this boy's video yes this boy yes, I'm going to save this boy yes this video helped you, I'm going to leave it there because whatever it is, I don't exactly care.

Look, if this video helped you and educated you, then leave a like. I really hope this has opened your eyes to a new perspective on things. and I made you understand why you care so much which is very important yeah leave a like on the video it really helps spread this to more people help on my channel or don't you know maybe leave a don't like" if you want to talk more about this topic with me leave a comment below leave your thoughts about it I love hearing your opinions and I'm happy to interact with you down there and it's a way for me to build more relationships with you thanks for watching up the End, I love you very much and I will see you in the next video where I do things that I don't care about but I care about helping you, yes.