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Best Laughter Moments - Super Mario Galaxy - Game Grumps Compilation [UNOFFICIAL]

Best Laughter Moments - Super Mario Galaxy - Game Grumps Compilation [UNOFFICIAL]
you do realize that i have voice messages from you saying like okay hey there it's aaron uh listen i just need you inside my right now i'm grump i'm not sue gruff and we're the

game

grumps

welcome to you are mr gay wait what what you never here look look you see the sparkles uh-huh on the letters yeah look you are you and then the next one is r and then the r and the next one with the m mr k god that was not intentional was it and then in

super

mario

galaxy

2 if you look at the sparkles backwards then it's yeah i am are you whoa so you can just collect those star bits you have to push a button no you just run the star over it and then you collect them oh this

game

is wonderfully easy it's disturbing to see that toad with a spear oh yeah like army toad damn everybody march we won't let those take this land isn't that right but it's like so far there's death of destruction all around

mario

's just like i somehow i don't remember this ufo when i first played it i can't hear you princess you're in space he's just dead he's straight up dead this is the most up mario i've ever seen this is like the first 10 minutes of up oh no you caught me you better not do stuff to my bunny butt i've already got all over my ears wouldn't want it to cover my whole body i love the things that they say he's like trapped in here it's exactly like what you would say like if someone walked up you'd be like get me out of here they're just standing like a goon i'm gonna give them weird nicknames okay like uh cornbread cornbread is a nickname that you cannot like be taken seriously if you have oh sure like in 1812 the slaves were finally freed by abraham cornbread lincoln america mourns the day in 1963 when president john fitzgerald cornbread kennedy was assassinated let me give you something more than cake yeah seriously i'm gonna give you um ultimate power yeah uh the ability to breathe in space yeah um an entire space kingdom how about that and a legion of star people at your command can't do anything for you uh much better than princess peach don't you think yeah he's like i leave her immediately she's gone anyway i don't know i don't know i don't know i love how you you're the girl for yip me oh let me unbuckle your bra unbuckle eat me i'm delicious but but don't it hurts the yellow one's like i don't trust that brown one i told you uh that my mom has a video footage of me when i was like two years old um i'd be in my driveway looking up at the moon and trying to like grab it and i'd be like i can get it and then i jump like half an inch off the ground and my mom was like almost like you just get sucked into the black hole yeah i can see different years and now i'm on the like um yeah just two little googly eyes is all you need yeah i'll get used to these controls are they weird they seem like they'd be a little weird no no yeah like no it's easy i mean it's it it makes sense you know when it's like you have a roommate and it's like a girl and you're like ooh a girl roommate like ooh that's so hot and then like two days into it you're like nah it's not so hot i'm far too intimately aware of yeah if you could do anything like in the middle of the night you just like and it's like if you're not dating them i think i'm gay i think i'm gay i think i'm a big old gay guy what about these guys how are you wow amazing oh he looks at you for like two seconds he's like um something's not mushroomy about this guy oh wait a minute oh no oh that's very graphic yeah we went to some game store in portland and like they had they had a bunch of like old posters for games and they had a metal storm poster and i was like whoa yeah and a metal gear poster was a better metal slug metal slug yeah and my friend kelly was like there's like games with metal in them we were like you have no idea all right i got a honeybee oh you look delightful i'm be mario oh and what i can say is that my life is pretty plain i like watching the puddles gather rain they made it look like an ocean down there but it's not an ocean it's not it's a stars hi i am a oceanographer i am a world famous uh anthropologist i should have just not said this gosh it's almost as if the whole crux of that joke was dependent on those two words being right next to each other the most furious itchiness plages our entire being been there please fight it's called the gunnery and no they don't call it that because it's going to be gonorrhea in a few days it's there for life i've never had an std i'm really stoked about it dude i'm

super

happy that i've never had an std why is he like rolling with this crew i don't know yeah you're way cooler what are you doing hanging out with these herbs what is a herb or i don't know is this a jersey term really yeah like a loser these herbs i love it mario your name is mario isn't it mario secretly had a crush on her for months and he's like oh yeah that's another thing that's never happened to me thank god calling someone the wrong name in bed oh yeah that's gotta be the worst i've really only had one girlfriend my whole life that's a lucky break never been a problem it just gives you really no excuse yeah you're just like oh batman i've been susie sorry sorry i was at that point she would just laugh yeah probably like did you just call me batman in a sense yes yeah i just want to role play i totally wasn't thinking about that man what what the were we talking about about falling falling yeah mario 64 you can't how it's good that you can't fall like you can in that game no it was before that oh it's gone dude that's like 45 seconds ago you expect me to remember that well i look like some kind of super computer maybe since i'm maybe since i'm replaying the stage now i'm at the part where i was when there was over two no way yeah surfing's for cool um you can see yourself off the planet what's up oh yeah baby that's rey what's up you basic penguin what's up you basic oh i have to hold a to go whoa whoa i should have listened dude you just said i know how to do no i totally know how to do it i've done it a thousand times what is go what is the go button this this taps into my like greatest fears no no no no no no oh whoa okay oh it did it oh good job whoa congratulations i'm too bad you fell to your death at the end don't think i didn't see that don't worry we all fall bored out every so often i mean it's not more than others oh wait if i just kick it i don't have to do this god damn it now it's harder damn it god damn these motionless enemies this is when you know you're like tired and lazy like yeah when your mind makes up rhymes but not actually a funny way to present them yeah so my brain was just like pluto naruto and then just no joke to go with it wow that is so true yeah i never even thought about that yeah just like at 50 baby just mailing it in that is exactly what being tired creative is like when brian and i travel we like to sit there and come up with like really stupid characters that are like their premise is too dumb to even like make a song or anything about uh and one of them was a a chinese doctor um with the last name hu so it's like who and then like everyone's always like hey doctor who where's your tardis and he's like i'm not that doctor he's just like super pissed off all the time but that that is his only function as a character there's like nothing else remarkable about it what if he was a really big doctor who fan and he's like it's he's the doctor all right yeah it's not doctor who jesus what are you an idiot it's just something about anyway your pancreas is bad oh man by the way i looked at your appendix and you want to talk about who more like who's gonna die a game theory sorry matpat no it's okay he loves you does he super like me dan don't with me on this can you tell the story of ross ward aborting himself yeah what did you do today i think we talked about it off camera okay well well in case we did sorry if we mentioned this on sonic we uh we were during the stream and ross he was like getting loopy so he like poured some water on him to wake himself up or whatever and he was laying down on his back so he like poured water on his face and he was like he was like oh what the heck like bewildered water and gravity you teaming up on me and i was like ross you literally just waterboarded yourself that's that's a form of torture that's done to like military people yeah and they get captured overseas i'm expeciating do you have a friend that like just texts random stupid to you i mean besides me yes but like just out of nowhere and you can never get a straight answer from him with anything yes cool why i just because i've been getting that all day i'm trying to get in touch with my friend mark and he's like the did he say i mean this might be an internet thing that i've just never heard of but like it's just weird random that never answers the question i'm like hey dude do you want to get dinner tonight and his response was it's weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they made answer the question i need to make plans if you care so much about pirate friendships why don't you maintain this one i mean i got a text from a wrong number i think you meant discretion but yeah my discretion it's okay uh oh i'm gonna fall off oh no i'm okay guess i'll walk off i got a text from a wrong number okay uh a while back and uh she probably shouldn't tell stories while playing this that was an arduous level when mario gallagher was really good i got a text from a wrong number a while back damn it he was just like hey i want to chat and i was like sorry wrong number uh and he was like oh that's a shame and i was like yeah no worries about it and i said i'm like a goofy image right and then he was like so what are you up to man what that was like and i was just kind of like uh nothing man and he's like cool and i'm like what about you like for some reason i was just like you know what i'm gonna keep this conversation going yeah yeah and then we had a really nice conversation that's funny um and i just i don't know i was it was like reckless abandon i was like cool and he was like well i made a new friend sweet and i'm like yeah that's kind of nice and wholesome cool but now it's like every day really yeah and i'm like oh that's not okay yeah he's like how you doing man and i'm like uh i don't yeah it's just kind of a one-time thing dude yeah what was that thing you said to barry with sorry wrong number do you remember i think you sent it to all of us oh yeah no i don't remember what i said oh i don't either it was like it was very inappropriate yeah it was like super raunchy and like oh man let me lick that sorry wrong number like a work chain where you're like trying to organize something really important oh boy and we the members of the toad brigade will be the brave crew and mario's just like yes do you have maybe like a dimmer function on that or like an off switch yeah it is just like full blast miner that is used for caves it's illuminating the caverns that are my eyeballs running up the leg falling off the leg this isn't what it looks like dude got a new son what's up with those did i do okay i'm looking at you please answer me what do you think about when you poop when the hype just like with his crazy eyes the traffic is really bad getting up here see you later chocolate chip i'm not chocolate chip i'm not going to talk to who i'm that cracks me up so much the other funny thing brian said was that like yeah he's trying to remember a jam that earth wind and fire did yeah it turned out to be fantasy which is a sweet jam and he was like fantasy that's my jam and i was like you forgot your own jam and he was like i have amnesia like out of nowhere like perfect timing do you ever hear the black egg that is uh a weapon that ninjas would use um it was like a hollowed-out egg painted black for ninja usage and they would insert like dust like tiny and then just throw it at someone's face just glass shards would be all in their eyes and that's awesome god damn it ninjas they they were no joke oh for sure like we joke about them but god damn an actual ninja i would not want to fight that dude first of all they did that and three ninjas the arch you think i haven't seen three they made black eggs bro did they really yeah well they were like the kid version yeah i was gonna say oh it's made it it's got pepper in it oh my god that's crazy meanwhile they put glass in one of them yeah tom tom snuck some glass in there i guess i'll just wait here in the bath house for whatever man walks in did you ever see that video of that dude who um he filmed himself jacking it in hotel rooms around the time where uh the room service would come in oh no or i'm sorry the housekeeping so it was like this full

compilation

video of this dude like jerking it and like for real yeah for real oh no no and then like they would come in and be like oh oh sorry sorry you know like and they everyone would walk out um but then there was one where like this dude came in and was like whoa hey yeah and then just like and then just gave him a bj what yeah and i was like whoa i can't believe that word that has to be staged maybe but do people just blow each other nonchalantly i mean like you think i know about this given my profession of blowing people bro i don't know no but like that's wow i know right it's pretty fascinating to watch i would imagine it was i've never seen i've never watched gay porn it's i mean it's not it is it's gay porn yeah but it's a dude or another it was framed differently because the whole the bulk of the video is i wasn't fully erect i was like three quarters okay see i wasn't looking for gay porn it just i got it doesn't count if you weren't looking for it yeah it's just it happened and you know i like to search for girl porn and there's a specific tag that has a lot of gay porn he's like well geez i'm here and i like i don't want to click away like maybe a girl will walk in i always search this specific tag that sometimes has gay porn in it and like every so often every day i'll check for the i'll look at the gay porn yeah yeah it's not a big deal so there you go i want to see what happens if like they do that and i'll just be like um i'm masturbating like furiously so uh come on in no you should just just just answer one word masturbating jerking you know what's weird is i'm i'm used to like uh never mind that's not that's not this is not a good story are you like i ran through the story in my head and i was like that's not interesting at all and it's a three-minute story oh no okay you know who doesn't have that filter ross oh my god are you enjoying this i'm very much enjoying this now that's a well yeah i mean this game's fun this is a beautiful game to look at yeah it's fun it's just you know two days from now i will completely forget what happened in this game oh sure uh what the was i saying oh yeah actually i don't remember i don't know why i said oh yeah i just still don't remember there are things like that that like people do to like sort of buy themselves time to think of something but like a lot of the times the the the little thing they use to buy themselves time indicates that they have thought of what they were trying to think of like it's like oh but nothing was ever there yeah that is funny i've never really thought about that before but lots of people do that you will never see them i will never show my emotions i'll just get sucked up into this giant butthole anemone thing okay okay they knew what they were doing there there's no way they didn't imagine we were in space right and we just died yeah but like the remaining carbon dioxide came out and then just like sort of like act worked as an atmosphere around your body because of the gravity oh sure and then like a little tree grew on you was there like a question that followed this or you're just like coming up with will never happen scenario oh i'm um just interpolating based on the science that i'm aware of sure i don't know how much you know about space but for me i'm a master ask me anything about space is it big probably next time i get grubs nah for me it was always they would always call me gay oh sure and i don't think i ever cared but it was just the fact that it was an insult right i was like whatever i'm gay this d club meeting come to order my penis cannot get erect that's not true don't take it it just has to use that kevin do me a favor take the sound bite of aaron saying my penis cannot get erect and repeat it randomly throughout this episode from this point on we're just talking about start it right now my penis cannot get arrested yeah oh come on that's good talking about black eggs ninja stars i'm just like my penis cannot get a wreck have you ever seen three ninjas yeah put it in all sorts of weird places like i was hanging out with my grandma the other day my penis cannot get erect she made me some cookies oh they were good morty oh morty you gotta turn into a car morty morty uh when you were born i implanted uh tiny microchips in your in your brain that that make it so you can turn it to a car morty morty you don't know about it but but you could turn it to a car you have to you have to turn into a car morty concentrate you have to say oh i don't know no turn into a car motor you have to it's the only way we can get through this he's like oh okay rick and he's like oh here's a taxi don't worry about it it's fine all right let's go do you think he ever goes into that bath house and he sees like that single naked star and he's like oh hey i'm just like averts eye contact like when you're like the one dude in the sauna with the other dude and you're just like oh but then the other dude's oh like constantly looking at you yeah like right in the eyes yeah and his knees are in just like different area codes like what you see yeah i don't 65 year old man of mysteriously asian descent it's gonna cost way more money to ship something to this leg than it is don't even bother yeah you know the one the other one i'm also not even bothering with getting the wii mode out so i can help you collect stars dude chill out man all right since we're in the uh the supple month of july right uh maybe not when this airs though it might be august oh sure since we're in the supple month of august kevin just go ahead and fill that in i didn't say august but now i did but you can just use dan's august um now that we're the supplements now that whatever go ahead uh christmas is on my mind what are you cvs i was just watching a ted talk on why people cheat it's super interesting what really yeah it has like very very little to do with like liking the other person or not loving the person you're with it's like all like insecurity based and like all these weird psychological aspects to it but it it like the last thing it has to do with is like um the other person or like their shortcomings or failings or whatever interesting weird right what if that guy was just like the ultimate cheater and he just wanted like an excuse well it was a woman first of all well there you go yeah what if that what if that woman was like she was just the

best

at cheating she like cheated all the time and she's just like honey i've been meaning to tell you this we've been together for a few years now and you are just the

best

at cheating on me oh it's like a dream she just like made up all this data so that she could be like if you went to school for being a dumb you couldn't be better at cheating on me well as aristotle once famously said where's the bathroom i really gotta shave well as galileo once said uh i'm i'm an astrologist my name is hey we got plenty of bombs maybe you could use them to blow up all this trash maybe not yeah one with broom whose job it clearly is to clean up this trash god damn it's like going into someone's apartment and being like man my clothes sure are everywhere maybe you could use your hands to pick them up god damn my friend uh cassidy posted uh something uh that it's like a it's like a picture you know what kevin just put it up and uh all right there you go and uh aaron hasn't seen it yet but it's a it's like a yearbook picture of like a little chinese kid whose actual name is damn son and he's just got this look at his face like oh like he just then realized what his name was it's just such it's so perfect damn son i'm gonna go get it i'm gonna do my taxes all right get it get it get the picture dan is away from the microphone at his phone his actual phone not the microphone which i never thought of now whoa if you had a tiny phone it would be a microphone oh my god i just showed her in the damn song it's fake it's like damn son whoa i love him ryan loves stealing your punch lines nice yeah but like waiting till the last minute yeah i i it was a dog yeah kevin i hope you threw his face across the screen when i said that that poor kid or awesome kid yeah he's he's gonna grow up and be very happy with his life yeah he's gonna he's probably gonna be like totally not the guy that would like say that or be around people that say that but then they'll ironically say that to him and then when somebody actually says it to him he'll be like like they're making a joke but they actually are saying it oh sure and then i don't know where the story is going but i'd steal the punchline from you but i don't think there is one oh sweet freedom you have no idea how much i was farting in there actually starting you can probably smell it like residual it's called star farting that's how comments are made star farting yes starting in fact from now on every time someone says have you started i'll just be like because i'll just think of stars farting so brad pitt whenever he's like he's like started started just a second ago yeah that's exactly right just started oh brad pitt farts sorry ladies could that just be my ringtone oh brad pitt farts just that's your ringtone did you say yeah just like you're sitting there quietly in a room with like 10 other people and something your phone's like oh brad pitt farts oh brad pitt farts oh brad pitt farts it'll be like my text tone you know oh so it's just once so people be like i'm sorry oh brad pitt farts you're like sorry i have to respond to this i have to take this hello yeah i know i know all right i get it i get it it's actually like really bad medical news but it's like it's like gastrointestinal so they're like how's that brad pitt fart situation you're like don't joke about that yeah seriously man i'm not in the mood and your phone's like oh brad pitt farts listen oh man that's a great idea let's do that from now on there are people that would love to be farted on by brad pitt count me in i mean just think about it yeah i guess so i don't know i've never been farted on what really yeah oh dude i've been farted on many times well you're married man it has nothing to do with marriage really but yes i feel like you have to date someone for a while before like not only are you okay with farting around them but farting like on their person that feels like a year two kind of thing oh man i love it dude oh bro he's like what do you what do you think you're going to do to this city what is it you really want bane and baines like i want and you just can't understand what he's saying no not at all that is so i gotta watch it again if you it like if if you hear it in context like maybe right right it makes sense but if you just play somebody like the scene were taken into the city or like when bane had like a letter from commissioner gordon and was like i'm the villain and nobody should trust me in anything that i do but here's a letter i have from commissioner gordon with no proof that it's from him and he said oh geez i did it all and everyone's like oh my god did you really say that vayne is kind of like uh bob dole like where he's like constantly like sort of nodding off batman this isn't big enough for the two of us yeah markiplier tell me um tell me his tale he was telling me about this uh family that adopted this rabbit okay and i guess the rabbit was super violent um for the longest time and they were just like this is a crazy rabbit um and then uh every time somebody would like pet it it would just like right and they were like oh and then when it died they were like oh i think like they were like thank god it's dead because like man i couldn't handle another second of that rabbit um and then like shortly after that they discovered this like device that they put in the house that was like high frequency anti-vermin and so all this time like driving the rabbit crate yeah it was like literally insane get the out because it's whole life was just like this high pizza high-pitched squealing oh no yeah that's so sad yeah i know right such a q god damn it aaron don't tell me sad bunny stories like right at the end of a game

grumps

episode that's the note we're leaving these people with well is it really the end of the episode yeah it's the end of the episode oh geez and now everyone's gotta go through their day just thinking about crazy ass rabbits oh sorry crazy yeah well now you made him cool again yeah well i mean he's dead so his suffering is over but i just got another wrong number text from somebody different person different person okay um and the first thing that they texted me was i think a fun line to say at a gay bar is hey who's dick do i gotta suck to suck a dick around here and i was like ha ha funny joke but who is this just too tired for me to stop you with the space bird did we just play a game that was like oh kirby that that kirby game was like deceptively short crazy short well it was nice though because it was kind of like oh it's over and i'll never remember it ever again just like life yeah oh thank god that's done you're just on your deathbed and you're just like oh man what a relief over finally god that was the longest first level ever well time for level two and then just how my plan is too far along now you think you can stop me yeah i just beat the crap out of you oh does he have like pot eyes right now i i did first of all no one says pot eyes you narc what are they called just like red eye oh okay he just well i wanted to imply that he was a pot smoker if you just say red eye then he just has red eyes god are you kids smoking the pot in here like when when sonic comes down and has like a a a crazy mouth spasm i'm like i'll play this again dude you are like you and sonic you cannot stop talking about that like during our mario play-through i feel like i feel like mario is like your new girlfriend and sonic is like your ex that you haven't gotten over even though she was weird and not good to you and mario's like super like oh do you want chicken parm tonight yeah i'll make it for you just the way you like it you're like jessica used to make chicken parm for me she threw it in my face one day and called me an idiot oh man i hate her yeah ah jessica yeah jessica jessica jessica man but you're so much better yeah than jessica i love you baby i love you like let's go on and adventure together a jessica adventure oh goodness you know those like handheld games not video games but there'd be like a silver ball oh yeah like and it that's what like you gotta like pump it with air yeah oh yeah like when you're pumping like with the rings in the water and you're trying to get it on a a little jammy thing yes i know exactly what you're talking about freaking adored that as a kid that was my game boy we you this is them kids you goddamn hit we had stickball get the hell off my lot you know what stickball was it was a ball and a stick figure that one out tetris there's certain there's certain bands that like and and this is why i understand jesus not to immediately talk about sonic but this is this is why i oh my god luigi she's like why am i in this game help me i've put it here for 50 days oh geo georgie give it give okay cool thank god if we only had 22 lives i was about to lose my oh man you and i are always on the same page we're like ellen page all right you know what we're like two penises in a pod that's the saying right is that right two penises like a little pod bush there's just like two little dingly dinks bro you finally came oh i've heard that in a gay porn before good egg

galaxy

there you go i got it though there's a letter um i guess i'll just like c for cranberries not now dr poffman okay when are you gonna finish trauma center aaron oh can we just can we just like use the footage of a top level play through and record and just like oh whoa whoa aaron yeah you do you're you're going crazy been practicing you guys asked for it and now you're gonna get it you know there's like a watermark that says like hollow games oh he wants the sparklies i gotta get the sparkles you got it girl hold on if i shoot a sparkly yeah eat so i gotta talk to um wristband magoo over here oh yeah captain uh oh it's another water board yeah and he's gotta bring he's gotta uh bring me into a cult well he gives me his own wristband these things happen and then i i go around the town with my wristband and people know i'm part of his cult is that how it works is that occults work yes they're they're actually just like thinly veiled wristband manufacturing companies there's like no religious connotations wait is what i needed a shell what was the objective oh yeah bring me a gold shell oh here i'm thinking like clamshell yeah that's exactly what i thought i thought it was gonna be like a yeah meanwhile we're like if we get the turtle shell i'm sure it'll bring us to the shell oh that is very game grumps of us isn't it jeez wow sorry everybody hey i did your criminal activity for you you just throw it at him and kill him oh i should do that yeah see what happens you think i should yeah dry just be ready what do you think of that don't hit the wall on the ocean floor with a cell it would break and all right i'm all right and remember you'll die a food it's i know it's the objective of the level dude i would love to get my balls washed professionally bro you kidding me send him through the little car wash just like like you go in like lying upwards with like a raincoat material all over your entire body except for your tiny exposed balls and like little ball sized brushes go by yeah and then like at the end you get like the flaps then they're like and you're just like oh man if only somebody did that what the nice timing on that one like i hate uh doing laundry okay god damn it really like i saw it a mile away it looks like someone hasn't seen those vans around la that are all about like the topless maids don't you know what i'm talking about exactly yeah and they're they're um their telephone number is something like 1-800 so dirty hey welcome back i do us amigos that means hello alfie or zane don't use the that's been said a thousand times all you have to say is dude i'm sorry is that rosalina i know oh aaron you greedy bastard you're like oh there's the end there's the princess there's a star no i need three coins i'll never be happy unless i have them there's a checkpoint oh dude you kicked his ass yeah well you really licked his ass i mean oh paging dr freud am i right okay i'm always thinking about licking i do i'm sorry i'm just laughing because like like i'm reading the comment thread it's like on yahoo answers like how big a zillion as a number and it's like a zillion is not a defined number meaning it does not have any agreed upon amount of zeros and the second thing is can someone tell me a zillion is a real number god damn it you guys aren't being specific enough are there a zillion atoms in the universe adam i feel like you're uniquely qualified to answer this question there's like a thousand i know there's at least one oh oh adam you card claude is good which who called me a claw the other day and i was like where did you get that that's my you can't have that i remember the first time you were like you clawed and i was like i know this shouldn't hurt but it really does sting did you know it was actually patrick swayze singing that song what really i heard the time of my life did you just fart with your mouth did i what no that's just me singing patrick's way you just went like for a second oh i didn't yes you did that was on the uh i think that was on the game no dude you did it with your mouth i heard it i could not have i would have been the first to know about that you think i'm unaware of my own mouth farts dude it was like loud as hell it was not bro you mouth-parted like like a megaton bomb dude yeah well you asked burped very recently dude kevin bring up the volume on that mouth fart it was there it was there i know no one really rents videos anymore but he has the look on his face that my dad used to get like when you'd realize that the blockbuster videos were overdue like i'm going to go get a massage a swedish massage they're going to make a banana crab i was just going to say they're gonna make up the banana crowd oh jesus do you want me to make a banana cry it's a little yes of course what the do i pay you for jesus a cry don't you know it's unhealthy to hold in sadness you know johnny depp grew up in florida did he really yeah he accessorizes a lot next time on gabriel's so yeah but uh it might have been like the mario twitter itself but um they made a tweet about wigglers and it was like it was something like mario hates wigglers but they spelled it wrong so it said wiggers oh no like a ton of people like retweeted it they were like whoa damn and then they took it down and they were like whoa mario got a little crazy that's fantastic do you have a screenshot of that i'm sure it exists somewhere yeah okay just like a nintendo wigger tweet i'm sure you'll find it yeah hold on let me do that right now whoa jeez mario had a had a good night last night you know what i'm saying all right nintendo uh reply for waluigi wednesday reply flower for wigger wednesday it missed the one letter that it absolutely couldn't afford to miss yeah have you ever followed uh i found a i've never used twitter oh yeah yeah i don't like it my new foot won't you no nothing again geez nothing against you or people who like twitter wow what i didn't expect such a passionate defense i really like twitter all right cool whatever man i can like whatever i like yeah yeah and you can dislike whatever you dislike but you're wrong yeah like but my you stands geez i think that's the first time you've ever said you to me and i can't believe it was over twitter you know it wasn't for real oh yeah i know oh i'm getting a call from from brent did i take it yeah of course really yeah okay i mean yeah hey brent what's going on buddy i'm recording game grumps right now it's very exact moment what's up brett are you sure about that i'm pretty sure the people would love it if i kept talking to you it's almost time for next time on game grumps brent i'm sure everyone would enjoy if you took up the last tenth of this episode yeah just chatting away cause everything everyone every the world stops when brent calls me okay okay i'll call you back bye love you oh man he was like for the love of god tell everyone you're joking and hang up on me granny sexbang always likes to um i guess i guess just in her time like you the term boyfriend or girlfriend was just used for a platonic friendship to like denote gender and not like meaning anything romantic you know right so she would uh she uh has said multiple times like are you recording with your boyfriend aaron today and i'm like let's review that sentence and change some things first of all i know he's a boy yeah no need to delineate that barry has been out of town um so in my calendar it says barry's back um and i also uh like we're filming we're filming a sketch tomorrow so i have to shave so like i wrote down shave as well but i guess they were too close to each other so it looks like shave barry's back and my friend saw it and he was like oh what's going on on thursday just like testing you yeah what's the deal with thursday so yeah you want to tell me about your life right now because obviously some things are changing oh uh well uh my friend barry needs his back shaved yeah and i thought i'd just get right in there because he's my boyfriend look at those arms moving that looks like me jerking off like like when you know there's not a lot of time before everyone gets back oh that's the worst when you when you're like taking way too long to figure out what you want to watch and then you realize you only have well whoops when you realize you only have like 30 seconds and like you hear the door creaking and you're like all right whatever yeah godzilla it's you and then we revisit pokemon in 2025 when like i'm in my mid-40s it's like one episode of yeah game grumps has been like done for like 20 years for 20 years 10 years from now when game growth has been done for 20 years the distant future the year 2000 next time on game grumps i give up this is hard i i would really enjoy someone who would just yell out jokes of ours from 2013. yeah that'd be awesome that would be really really great sad hoshi what eat my food piece of that's it i'm still here we go yeah it's like a little perfect little swirly dookie that's like you oh no mine are not perfect little swirly no but i mean like this the suddenness at which they come on and the frantic nature of like oh here we go transform oh cool that's a great idea yeah it's so much fun oh my god trying to get the shell dude this depth perception i cannot handle oh boy it is not it's it's nobody's fault it's nothing it's it's nobody's fault especially not mine it's just the only person with the controller well it's it's just trying to stress enough how nobody's fault this is it's very easy to call someone to sell out when you know you're living with your parents and everything's taken care of and like you know i got medical bills man like i know i don't know what to say oh man yeah did just get too real i'm gonna do some ketchup for all those harsh browns you're serving right now what i just was not prepared are we allowed to talk about pee-pee's gay house you just remind them because we're talking about stamping yeah of course okay i think that thing needs more love so our taking off youtube our dear friend stamper uh over dubbed um a pee-wee's playhouse episode from the 80s and uh my god it's very very wonderfully offensive in every way and uh but because it uses because it uses actual footage from pee-wee's playhouse uh youtube had a problem with it i can't believe it um and uh it's called pp's gay house and i think it's i think it's about pp it's on his stamper tv uh facebook right yeah okay i got a call from the cvs pharmacy but i guess they're having trouble with like the um like certain parts of their automated system yeah like because you know how automated systems have the parts that like are used for every part of the of every phone call and and then like there's the part that like changes based on the patient and so the part that's changed on the patient i guess is up so it was like hello this is cbs pharmacy calling for we wanted to tell you that your prescription form is now available it was so funny oh my god oh that's awesome i was dying or like when somebody doesn't know how to somebody who doesn't know how to use like a phone or like a phone system very well just kind of you know it's like would you like to accept a call from the is actor if not that totally totally my dad totally like they they have not it hasn't happened in so long with cause with cell phones and right but like when when he used to call me during college it would be like you have a call from do you accept i don't know i don't know or like yeah or him talking to my mom you have a call from i don't understand how this works damn can you show me how to do you accept my dad left me a voicemail just where he like comes really strong out of the gate you know yeah hold on oh my god that's exactly what i said talking about and also granny granny sexbang is with me in the car she's in the house i'll never call you again bye oh my god that's from june of last year jesus that's how long i keep these things and treasure them oh because they're beautiful avi i love your heart where is this thing like i valued your company oh i don't know man it's i feel like this is exactly right it's right there good job i'm so dumb jesus but you all knew that didn't you leave a comment about how dumb i am it's so funny when like you've been hurt before by by people like with their statements and you just automatically like whenever like even when you do something right it's always immediately followed by and you oh god i got this oh god oh god don't around with the bits so easy in midair this suddenly reminded me of the topiary maze scene in the shining and i just imagine you going after the bunny like daddy and there's just a close-up of mario at the end with like the and he's frozen and he has the face we shouldn't give away any spoilers but the split the movie's like 50 000 years old yeah but you haven't seen jaws and jaws is six years older than the shining um spoiler jaws is a shark i can't believe you oh look at this adorableness this little apple yeah well apple and then and then when i do this oh stop this uh this bear guy by the way has the uh the same weird explosion fur that that bee had he's a mole oh as you can tell by the fact that he looks like a mole and acts like a mole and burrows yeah yeah why did i think he was a bear he looks much more like a mole so this dolphin that's after you um oh nicely got this going back god damn ah yeah damn it god god damn son of a mall piece of what were you saying those are poop rocks aren't they yeah they're pretty somehow before they were in the context of being on like an animal looking thing it was easier to dismiss them as oh just a gem in some coal yeah no that's poop dude yep by your tone it sounds like you've you think you've had a breakthrough and yet by what you actually said the thing you're on right now yeah is giving me a crazy flashback to my like young childhood is it like a frisbee no it was they were these plastic discs that were like it was like a like a baby's version of a record player i'm gonna call my mom and see if she still has that and send it yeah that'd be amazing yeah they used to like have like little sesame street crossover things that's one of those things where like if you call your mom and you're like you're like you're like doubles can i uh hell yeah okay awesome uh it'll be like my mom's name is debbie by the way which turned into doubles but somehow so you'll be like uh do you know those little things or whatever and she's like yeah yeah and it's like could you send that to me and then she'll be like all right what's wrong what's going on who hurt you why is it that you're thinking of nice memories from your childhood and you need this to be happy right now that's totally that's that's very funny that's and there is some truth to that you know yeah it's like oh are you recently going through a breakup do you want your old game boy okay so you can remember what it felt like to play tetris from 1988 when life was simpler you could treat your cats very well like i wouldn't i wouldn't look up somebody to like come into my house and like spend time with my roommates when i leave they're like i'm lonely and it's like don't worry i have a guy he's gonna show up every like two or three days that's and just and like you know flush your toilet for you and like cook you some food and you know so like you know you got a pretty good life all things considered you have to pay for any of it no all you got to do is hang out on my couch a lot yeah and like every so often let me touch you sometimes i look at mimi and she looks at me with those big vacant eyes and i'm like get a job freeloading a little bastard i love that cat she is a smart one she is not she is anything but she's but she's a sweet one and mochi is very smart mochi like got all the brains in that family she like last night she was sleeping like right in the middle of where i sleep on the bed and i was just like all right you gotta go and i like pet her and she's like yeah i'm laying here and getting pet and i'm like i'm like no you gotta go and i like nudge her and she's like oh nudges cool and then i picked her up and moved her and she was like oh man well back to that spot i was in it's just slaves back then i was like mimi you oh what is with you please understand something this is not this is not cool yeah like i could break you at any moment yeah and nobody would be i would just be like oh no she you know it was it was weird she just adds natural causes yeah she she went to um and bury you in the yard she went to go get a little little sip of water and her neck broke it was the weirdest yeah huh so whatever and then she flew out the window and then and then mysteriously like a ghost etched you mimi this is my side of the bed into her inner corpse yeah and then she caught on fire what that's crazy so i mean you know sad yeah i'm gonna be the day off and then we're all like um you're the president of the company so you can just do that you don't need to ask us there's a scene there's a very famous scene in house of cards where like he basically kills a dog he like snaps its neck to show you like what a piece of horrible he is yeah save the cat exactly um and uh so uh these uh these comedians made like a season like a fake season two of house of cards where it's just dog killing like a guy's going down on a girl and she's like oh yeah and the camera pans up to her arm and there's a dog up there and she's just like it's so funny but it's clearly like a stuffed animal it's really great for the last couple of episodes of mario and the next couple episodes of mario i'm going to be nice and low energy it's fine nobody's going to notice unless you've unlocked it and now that you pointed it out people are going to be like dude not doing it i think excuse me i think if you say it and people understand it makes them more understanding i get you because they understand all right can i say that word one more time in the sentence yeah go ahead do you understand yeah cool um all right well then i'll i'll try it then okay uh man so for the next uh lifetime i'll be back i sleep i'm gonna be at video games and be like really an insufferable prick about all of everyone's favorite games and uh really just be like a total downer wow you know everyone's gonna be like oh really aaron starting now i i don't use social media anymore right but last night i was playing rocket league and i was like and i had like a little idea for a gag tweet so i tweeted it and and then i was like well i'm already tweeting so i i had like a really really good round like a like crazy like even if you don't play rocket league it was like really obvious i destroyed that round right um so i took a picture of the scoreboard and then i posted it and uh and i was like yeah learn to play jabronis you know sarcastically and then one of the comments was like what the was it god damn it now i can't remember it but it was it was very like like don't lie we all know your at video games aaron like you just got real serious real quick jesus christ you know this is uh these are off hours i am uh it's okay yeah to if we can all take the night off again i've learned anything from watching three years of game grumps it's obvious that you're and you're lying and it's like oh my god stop yeah please i'm just having fun yeah i'm just aaron the human being right now pretty crazy that all this is just out there and we're just like yeah yeah i don't know what it is yeah i'm sure i'm sure we're the center of the universe we're the most important and uh we're the ones with life unless jupiter has been hiding something from us god knows it has a lot of space to hide what the are you up to jupiter yeah with your red dot yeah your gaseous storm i have a gaseous storm i am scared i think brian like uh did some kind of tweet that was like i scream you scream we all scream for the horrible inevitability that is death and he was like it was one of my most unpopular tweets ever i was like i thought it was funny dude when i out of principle do not retweet things when people ask to get retweeted it's like you know what if i think your tweet deserves retweeting i'm gonna retweet it yeah tell me what to do well you marched to the beat of your own stupid drum well shut up for a second just for a second like in once in your life maybe some people are nice and they respond when someone asks them to do something yeah whatever cool anything retweet if dan doesn't know anything i'm just gonna say that anyone who tells you they know what happens when you die is either i know what happens when you die you stop talking anymore and then you'd probably get either burned or put into a coffin and then people cry and then they go on with their life because whatever what else you gonna do anyone who says they know what happens when you die is either misguided or selling something it is the truth it is the truth oh damn next time on game grumps yeah uh more more truth bombs more rhetoric from our resident cynic dan so funny how like that's not cynical at all that's the opposite of cynicism that's open-mindedness whatever bro what are you selling amazing that like just last episode i was like did i get too deep and you're like no people love that like get as deep as you want and then i do it this episode you're like oh shut the up jesus i am bored okay oh yes 69 yeah oh oh man really yeah no i i'll go i'll go but like it you go in the ocean yeah i'll do it i mean you only live once but like it is very did you just yolo well it's true let's not get off topic please it's it but i will be scared the whole time yeah okay do you want me to hold your hand no because shut up jesus christ he's like sitting on this you're like mashing your face into the sand 20 yards back did i tell you the problem i had with uh my buddy i i i used voice to text um he was uh saying like we were gonna do something later and i was like a man uh so excited and uh it ended up uh coming out a man a man so excited he's like cool good for you i never knew the side of you yeah i mean as long as you're happy i'm a man man so excited ross likes to uh turn one message into seven texts yeah he does doesn't he yeah why does he do that but i thought there was something wrong with his phone and then i realized there's just something wrong with him he just uses it like an instant messenger yeah so since since the reception was so bad like text would happen out of order so he'd just be like you know behind the behind the bridge like what and he's just like come meet me like wait hold on what i'm down the street and it's like okay yeah he's like hilton and he's like wait hold on he's like sorry i didn't mention the hotel it's like what the is going on he'll also sometimes forget to like add a question mark to the end of uh one of his questions so he'll like send text you the question and then text the question mark later yeah but like he'll wait until you've texted like two or three texts back to him and then send the question mark and i'm like does he want me to repeat what i just texted he could just read it what ross i didn't read that correctly maybe this was just a new york thing do you remember like and in the center of it oh is the milford plaza what okay i immediately regret because i was like as soon as i started singing i was like of course that's in the middle of new york why would that be broadcast throughout the country but there was like there was this really famous hotel commercial i guess it was local though um back when i was growing up and i i was hoping for that big i'm with you dan oh totally dan oh yeah the milford plaza doo doo where you can get all kinds of underwears at different prices it's a hotel where like i said yeah where you can get all kinds of underwears so there's a twitter account called kierke kardashian that combines um the writings of noted danish philosopher soren kierkegaard with the tweets of kim kardashian and it's amazing please allow me to share yes okay the yardstick for a human being is how long and to what degree he can bear to be alone in an airplane bathroom taking selfies i'm in the stage now where i wake up with a flat belly but then as i eat it pops out and i see the self that i truly am these are great skirt is by chloe heels are by manolo but everything that makes me impure comes from within gaze inward and grow silent gaze at your selfies and grow vainly loquacious in all in all capital letters just so i hit 164 000 followers you guys that is so crazy do you think i'm a fool who believes the world becomes better when it praises him i'm gonna define my life by these bad things now yeah is that right you think soren kierkegaard was just like super emo yeah that guy what a whiny just because he watched his whole family die slowly of disease i mean whatever it's it's to each his own man what what does that mean that is not an appropriate time are you sure when in rome yeah do as the do as the dudes the guys do do as the bros do the bromans just hanging out in brome italy bro do you hear about those bromine gods yeah oh absolutely romance i'm gonna have a broman bromance yeah that's where poseidon lord of the ocean comes from oh man just talking about bros how when we were in grade school we used to walk down the hallways and i mean we were nerdy kids you know like we were awkward and kind of outcasts so like it's so weird to walk down the hall when you're like 10 or 11. and you're like clutching your backpack and you're all closed up and hunched over right um because like the big kids are like standing there and you're just waiting for them to make fun of you and then you look back now and those big kids were like 13. yeah i'm just like my god like i can't believe i was ever afraid of those little punk like a swift kick from a 15 year old would have shut them up yeah absolutely it makes me want to go to like a school now and like like beat up all the bullies yeah totally like see whoever is getting picked on and just be like it's gonna be all right man and i'll show you why it's to be all right he's just pummeled humble the kids making fun of them is jang a racial slur i feel like it might be i don't believe so it sounds like it ah don't do your backflip yeah he did got him he's doing great boy he's excellent i'm gonna look up jang for you yeah i i hope i didn't just defend like a a weird filipino culture or something or that time i called them weird kevin's filipino oh nope uh a jang is from the big lebowski and it means a marijuana cigarette whoa the dude apparently said mind if i do a jang it's it it always surprises me like how weirdly long i can get with with tweets yeah well it depends on depends on the words you're using oh for sure like i guess that is really the key to all sentences when you think about it at kanye west congrats baby on getting almost 5 million views now all you have to fear is death welcome back hello uh so dan and i we're having an off-screen discussion about hilarious twitter accounts and uh i was like i like hilarious twitter accounts like nihilist arby's and dan was like what is that yeah it's like oh you haven't seen niles darby's and i'm looking at it and oh my god should we define what what a nihilist is uh somebody who's really like pessimistic and yeah someone who essentially believes in nothing yeah like the world is kind of thing um so nihilist arby's first the picture is a giant gross arby's sandwich with just like layers and layers of hammy grossness so nylas darby's okay arby's puts its pants on in the morning just like you paralyzed by creeping dread as we speed ever closer towards inevitable doom eat arby's mommy why am i so sick shh save your energy baby does god hate me don't be silly there is no god eat your arby's while you still get are you kidding me when daddy says never grow up tell him you have to grow up so you can die and not be the last person alive in this living hell eat arby's oh god with no context i don't know what this guy tweeted at nihilist arby's but their response was no go yourself thanks for enjoying arby's what i pick up my phone to look up pilandrazi and i get faced with if you're stupid and scared to die try religion and it try arby's too you okay there buddy it was spraying it's a nightmare mother helped me just press buttons and there's a screen i don't i don't i'm not following you whoa look at that that's a lot of bats yeah this is star bats i bet you feel like a for breaking all those bricks now yo i feel like a major uh you always add another word and it ruins the point i'm gonna escalate a joke if you don't add another adjective yeah uh i mean you would do it with an adjective that starts with a vowel sound but the joke from the beginning was that i added a word and then also said a says a major oh gotcha yeah i thought you were like uh gotta save this i mean it could have been you never saw those famous commercials it's one of the most famous commercials of all time it's like a kid uh it's from the 70s it's a kid like oh and he's got like the pepsi or whatever he's like can i have some of your coke and me and joe green's like yeah all right he gives him coke and then he tosses him the jersey he's like hey dude sorry that's he's not a racist no you're being mean to mean joe green well no like that was the point because like he was such a awesome football player and so like brutal on the field that like the idea of him being like nice to a kid was like a big a big deal um i'm a computer i don't know much about pepsi and then and then family guy did that great version of it where he like tosses him the jersey and tosses him his pants socks and underwear and the kid's like kids that's really funny now i wanna watch the original and i hope he it sounds exactly like he sounds nothing like that i'm waiting to hear back from the photographer oh no no no it was right there it was right god damn it dude and i gotta get the grey stars again god damn it dude i'm just you're like how do i play this game it's like i got chocolate okay so i'll just take the shell then i guess maybe i should start putting some like hey treat each other good you're a cool guy like on our merch oh that'd be cool or it's just like yeah like on the inside of one of the sleeves yeah it says like what sex is cool yeah i guess you know or like it is or or sort of like be like moby dick and then like put a bunch of like ciphers and you have to like look through moby dick to like decipher the message and it says like you're fat so why don't i go classics yeah why don't i go and read some some of those books that everyone's always talking about yep everyone's always raving about at the movie theaters um at the art exhibits i just imagined like you know that really famous leo tolstoy one toll story sorry i don't know if this is like blowing your mind like how clever the song is yeah also you yeah well two things one is that like i just sort of like looked at the clock and i was like wow he's been doing that for like 45 seconds and the other thing was like you doing it as you like turn the like colors back to blue so i'm like wow he's making anti-progress here's the star i could have used to get out of here no problem yeah and then when you get it you just leave him here like oh i told you about my friend's comedy sketch the walking dead right where like a giant a terrifying like plague disease takes over the world and like the only part of it your brain that it leaves intact is your ability to like walk and eat and uh do christopher walken impressions oh oh gosh oh dang hey it appears that i'm undead oh gosh that's crazy it's a terrible christopher walken impression i'm uh christopher walken now all i can do are bad ones oh no what is going on my name is uh christopher walken i was in the rundown with uh dwayne the rock johnson why the does he turn what an why didn't you just wait for him to stop what a dick munch no well here we go god damn shitty ass this guy's hard ass balls dicks what what's so funny what are you laughing at stop laughing at me now i'm embarrassed come on come on come on come on there it is you you piece of bugaboo smack you in the ass smack you on the ground like a goddamn pin you sounded like jack black in like do you know the tenacious d song or the skit inward singing no i'll play it for you i just love it he like explains inward singing to kj in kgs like wasn't really singing he's like shut up you why don't you create something like inward singing you dick always naysaying so angry it's so funny you know there's a service that um that that will allow you to join the mile high club really yeah i feel like that's the only way it would happen yeah pretty much like like it's like a private jet and i can barely fit in airport airplane bathrooms as it is yeah but yeah they have like a little private room and it's like you know they give you chocolates and champagne i would love that and then they go up and then they're like all right you got like 30 minutes let's do it i mean uh let's let's get girls and do it yeah that's totally that's true yeah in separate planes yeah of course of course yeah i could swear same bathroom yeah oh that would be a difficult threesome to pull off the airplane sure somebody's done it yeah three three somebody's as a matter of fact oh yeah that's right how about that wow never even thought about that pilot in two stewardesses and then like halfway through the story who's flying the planet ask me what i did in the morning what what'd you do right so i woke up and i what if you're like ask me what i did in the morning i was like what'd you do then right you're like shut up mind your own business meanwhile he's on like okay cupid like wouldn't why would you describe yourself uh green uh lesser wouldn't it be such a bummer if you had your brother around huh oh no no it'd be good it'd be great i mean you know it'd be fun i think oh god poor luigi yeah okay i know just bring me along next time huh oh sure okay i'll call you who's princess i'll send you a text whenever i go out next yeah i can't it really tries to oversell it and meanwhile luigi's like on twitter and then he sees like mario posting a picture of like at the coffee shop but with my friends oh my friends we just like thought you said you were going to text me when when you were out and he's like oh i i've ever forgot i just slipped sorry i lost my phone recently that's that's what people say right when they deleted someone and they don't give a you talk after i caught you in like eight seconds yeah seriously hey you yeah you big turd you big penguin turd have fun standing there being a sorry i had a croissant with you for breakfast still getting over the acid reflex how who the hell do you think you are from now on when you say anything that i don't recognize i'll just assume it's a real big fish reference because i feel like that's fair yeah there isn't much to reference how many albums do they have geez i don't know like you think i'm emotionally or mentally prepared to answer that question today how many real big fish are there oh don't bust out the hard-hitting topics man give me a second here is that mark wahlberg from the happening i don't know give me a second i just need a second wait just give me a second just one second my friends hold on the crapping yeah just one second i need a second okay how the do i do this man do you maybe you just need a second just give me a second hey you yeah you got any bits yeah he wants god i'm really jonesing if i can be honest with you i'm just really jonesing right now i really could use some bits oh say oh yeah any any goddamn minority has been rallying behind white superheroes why can't i rally behind a black superhero right yeah i mean dora the explorer's chinese and no one has a problem with that she's a chinese nigerian no one has a problem with that have you ever watched dora the explorer yes there's large swaths of silence oh yeah because they want you to participate yeah and but like when you watch that as an adult she's like should i go left or right and she clearly has to go left and i'm just like left and then she just doesn't do anything she just stands there blinking and i'm like go left maybe maybe you don't really you know maybe this isn't for me i'm thinking probably i should watch some breaking bad or something because uh god damn it you chinese laughs what is wrong with you i can't believe this get the rice out of your ears and go left stop pee peeing in that coat oh she's like okay left finally oh oh man i did not see that coming i i closed my eyes for one second because i got something in my eye and like when i opened it like the bullet is like two inches from you and you're like i don't know it's gotta be getting pretty close i think there's 120 stars and how many do we have okay all right i didn't expect that mom i'm getting out of the water i'm gonna swim without my floaties when someone like like knows an album back and forth that you've never heard before and like they're the type of person that like not only sings every word slightly off-key but uh like also um like sings every guitar part oh and like like shut up man like every time i hear this album from now on i'm gonna be thinking of you going like drives me insane and he's like hey welcome to you did you teach you to go today what are you talking about sugar ray the guy from sugar ray and he was god damn it like i'm traveling then me when she turns around enough of this small talk i've been waiting for it mario's she's just like that bouncy red star and mario's just hallucinating hell yeah you i mean this is totally the goth stage yeah it really is it's like mario and his black overalls and getting purple neon stuffed coins i'll get your coins or whatever god mom god i won't like it god why do you always try to make me like steve he's not our dad he's definitely not your dad he could be if he cared more about my interests what the is this i'm just you know i'm just making jokes man i'm just making jokes just making hilarious broken home jokes bro i'm making goth kid jokes all right yeah gosh why you gotta make it real goth because you're watching a 2d image of a 3d world well then it's too much for your feeble little three-dimensional being brain to process you i think we're gonna get really like anti-semitic there for some reason what it's too much for your feeble little jew mind whoa wrap your latkes around what the hell i don't know that's just where i thought you were going with that baby now we got bad blood now we got problems we used to be mad loved you made a really deep cut oh taylor taylor taylor that song is really good i can't believe you've never heard that song before no dude why why why have you heard it it's because it's on the radio all the time why would you listen to the radio i don't know i heard it had mariska hargitay in the video so i watched it oh is that what you say when someone sneezes aaron played that song for me just now and he was like you have to hear this because it sounds like it was it was made up on the spot yeah that's what the lyrics sound like yeah they do it's so it's not even metered out like correctly yeah exactly really it's like the kind of that like if you were making it up as you went along like you'd be like uh let me try that one again yeah just shake i forget hocos shake shake i feel like someone's dad like oh why is it the kids are listening to the swifty tales have you heard that song with the pumped up kicks it's pretty good haven't heard that korean song with that guy and he's like a horse gagging style yeah gagum he's singing about hope hope hope hope hope of gangnam style ever since i got three of my hands blown off in japan i was born a freak with three hands and i got them all blown up the first one got blown off in combat i was like oh that's pretty good actually this might work out and then the other two blew off and i was like oh damn it that's sorry about being so close to living a normal life no i really should just tell people i was like a normal two-handed person but i got two of my hands blown up but i keep it up oh boy oh dude it's just like me sitting there with an angry face completely still and then just hello bro to gotta start um i have something to show you dad oh i'd love to see it this is how i jacked my dick off this is like my deck over here and this is how i jack it off like my dick that's that's what you that's what you wanted to show me yeah and then when you know before the episode started you were like hey let's start the episode i got something and i was like awesome i got something to open up the episode with that you're going to be super excited let's start this one off with a bang oh man that sounds great what the was that jesus you could have found it another way yeah get the key and unlock the cage you want this power star only if you don't rosalina i found this one jesus get laid on your own time luigi we're trying to save the galaxy just pass that message on to rosalina okay like the only reason you feel speed is because we have an atmosphere oh crap you're right and you're like blasting through air particles right in space you wouldn't feel anything so you could be going like a zillion trillion miles an hour you wouldn't even know it thank you scientist aaron really a zillion trillion look man why do they have to personify everything do they personify each little star bit okay it's like you're coming in a little hot there maybe if i don't put it on my knee but you know i'd have sex with woman god i'd have sex with dude god i'd have sex with concept guys concept god knows what's up you just lay back i know his concepts whoa whoa i mean conceptually this sex is great i didn't think i'd be thinking about how it was raised i was getting my ds'd by god by like a cloud shape color you created this day damn aaron that was silly it's because you said that you created this d and it distracted me you can't take a guy's word on the size of his dick like who's gonna be like oh yeah i got got me a tiny floppy micropenis i don't think so though aaron don't you think that scenario would be great okay welcome back to another episode of game grumps okay aaron hey i'm grump yeah like i've talked about my my dog like molly how she like her nicknames were like it was molly then maul then maulsers then maulball then poops then poopers then pooper to scoops and finally baron von puppenstein that was a that was a pretty big jump right there in the middle well we had we had her for a long time and mouth well she poops a lot so i love it though i love staying busy i'm cool we're in agreement then look once i finish reading drawing on the right side of the brain uh-huh i'll probably be able to teach you some cool stuff really yeah like being able to hit the same cat involved five times in a row that is amazing to watch all right i can i can teach you to draw dude really yeah okay god damn it so ridiculous could you not draw at all like when you started of course do you think i came out the drawn mozart i do wait so people still make fun of me because of that tweet that i made which one was that in like 2001 i was like if i ever make a let's play kill me did you really yeah that's awesome so um people still reply to it they're like idiot hypocrite and it's like i've you know i've publicly acknowledged that tweet like a million times yeah yeah so what made you change your mind uh to become a hypocrite well dan i've always been a hypocrite right it's just uh i don't know i just thought it'd be fun and honestly i think you've stayed completely true because you do a let's play and after almost every game group session you're like kill me wow i never thought of it that way yeah you've been you've totally stayed true to your word never in my life have i said that more than oh that's really funny right before aaron goes on stage he's like you have your head in your hands and and like a guy comes up to you and he's like hey man can i get you anything would you say like i'd like a high tree and a noose a noose in a dramatic tree and then the guy came over to me afterwards and he was like is that is aaron okay like and i was like yeah he when he's like this just leave him alone he'll just give him some space he'll be fine i just like to imagine what's going on in that guy's mind when like he experiences that and then i go on stage and i'm like hey everybody i i hope this isn't like saying too much but like i remember when we came back from a convention years ago i won't say which one but like you didn't get to enjoy yourself because it was just too crazy and you had too much businessy stuff to do and you were really upset and on the drive to the airport we're all in the car together and like you were like really quiet and like your eyes were like wide open and you were like staring out at nothing and i was like dude you're all right and just like got no response whatsoever like not even like a blink you're just like somewhere else and i looked at susie and i was like is this is this all right and she was like he's totally fine just give him some time and and that was when we didn't know each other as well and now now i've become the he's totally fine don't even worry about it guys oh i love you buddy that's gonna be all right oh man yeah whenever i see those headphones on i'm just like i guess i'll talk to him in an hour all right y'all ready for this did we did we started the episode yeah oh come on i'm like i'm absent-mindedly singing like early 90s music what is the difference between a pleasure moan and a pain moan like sound wise um like if i went like what is that to you what does that sound like it's very hard to know because like everyone has like their own you know their own sexy faces and their own sexy sounds you know i i've been with girls who like at their most pleasured moment look like they're in horrible pain yeah and i'm like are you okay they're like don't stop what the are you doing i'm like oh sorry i thought you were really having a terrible time are these the funniest 1940s jokes the hottest collection of 1940s jokes the sickest most outrageous 1940s jokes the hell is this website mr and mrs brown an elderly couple who lived in the heart of london were sitting quietly in their home when an air raid siren warning sounded uh in the din of the siren mr and mrs brown rushed off for the nearest air raid shelter suddenly mrs brown stopped turned and started to retrace her way back to her home mr brown asked what was wrong i have forgotten my teeth said mrs brown and i'm going back to get them what do you need your teeth for barked mr brown what do you think the nazis are throwing sandwiches um are you serious like i just made that up off the top of my head wow from the pocketbook of war humor 1943. are you are you dead serious that was the joke all right this one's from this one's from 1870. holy an exchange gets off the following horrible con what the i don't even understand that why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan because it's lost its pop that's from the hokey pokey joke book that is depressing oh boy from 1906 i'm troubled with cold feet doctor said the sallow complexioned man yeah what would you suggest a ton of coal answered the md unhesitatedly two dollars please what the what that's eventually how we're going to end up fighting bowser and finishing this play through fight just you catching a case of the fuckits jets in the case of the buckets oh yeah i get that every time i eat a sub at subway no come on dude that's a case of the yous the griddle is this place in la for anyone who doesn't know that serves enormous pancakes giant like the size of half your body in a stack they and you know what they do too is they they rig it like a sitcom where you go in and then you're you're like uh can i get a short stack and they're like short stack is in like two pancakes and they're like it's like uh like two or three and they're like yeah two and then they're like yeah yeah yeah i think i could do two and they're like oh you think like they did they aren't like that's really big and you should probably only get one it's really funny it's really funny each one each pancake is the size of like a like a large pizza yeah and uh so i have a series of pictures of aaron like smiling with the thumbs up in front of his like freshly served stack of pancakes and then like what looks to be like 1 18 of the pancakes eaten and aaron like with his head and his hands just like sweaty and the hair matted to his face oh god that's true it's magical i i really up on this level yeah this was terrible this was just watching you push snow around and practicing to do yeah wow that'll cost you a life huh where am i going to practice this is all this is the only thing i guess i'll go to the down to the bunny range well at least now i know where all the bunnies are oh this level sucks you bunny i was right there you piece of yeah oh i'm gonna stab you when i get you don't use that out of context i'm gonna look into this hedgehog leprosy thing because i don't want a fake tape oh my god don't give people ideas dude just call this episode the failure of aaron hanson i would actually love that how many episodes could that you did it thanks okay thanks for noticing sorry we didn't show that um on screen everybody uh we had a weird moment aaron and i are both kind of out of it today and um aaron was just like i'll just practice this episode or just practice this uh little run through here and uh he was doing it quietly and like i suddenly like lost my place in time and snapped out of a daze and like i suddenly realized like like perhaps we had started an episode we just hadn't said anything for like four minutes and i was like oh my god like i'm like here we go i do think it's very cool how they have slightly different songs for ice and fire it's like it's like a song yeah it's just like that aaron why does this why does this wall need to be camoed that's a good thing to blend in with itself wait what stop stop shooting rocks at me what wall are you talking god the wall was camo i couldn't see it i'm sorry i like i like villains i like naming villains because they're they're they're they're so fun to name because they're they're i know it's a good villain name when it's fun to say if it's like dirk under tall or something no it's like oh sweet that is pretty good actually like bog dyson yeah it has to be something that's like twent fundal rice rice twindle i'm gonna make this work whoa that's the big ass melon and that's a big ass star yeah oh the on i'm a skelly that's up dude did you see that yeah i was really into i had everything stripped from me but my bones don't fall hey welcome back gabriel hey we're here hello uh i am uh not asking dan to do any favors for me yeah specifically you what why would you even say that god what if we just one day dude you're so weird right now what's going on why is it weird man just two bros each other what just hanging out going to a baseball game give each other hot blowies oh my god center field whoa jumping down onto the base paths dude all right never mind i've been hanging out with ninja brian too much how could you say like that i don't know man messed up you've aaron what you do realize that i have voice messages from you saying like hey what did that really happen of course that happened what that happened like two years ago you gotta send me that okay it's on my old phone but i'm sure i kept it because it made me laugh every time you're like listen i know you're busy but like man i used to be funny oh god damn dude it's just it's just hilarious that like how quickly we forget yes i would totally still do that of course i'm gonna i'm gonna sound stupid if this was already on an episode but i was like oh man you're like what were you doing i was like you know just jacking it with a finger up my ass and you're like oh my god have you done that at the best right i was like no actually i've never i've never done that and then you're like oh cool me either i was just just around oh my god it's the best stuff oh god it made me curious and i'm like god damn it i don't i'm busy dude i don't have time to be sticking stuff on my butt for pleasure got a life to live yeah that would have been perfect if it was if it was let up by oh oh yeah totally and then you're just like going home and you're like yeah is it is cut to me with an entire arm up that's really funny it's just it was amazing because like because of how quickly you changed mode you're like oh my god is the best right just kidding nah man i'm just with you yeah i say that mario's a jack of all trades i've never seen him actually plumb yeah that's true maybe he's not good at maybe he's a terrible plumber yeah which is why he's always like making excuses and going on adventures and plus people are like uh my toilet like the o-ring is blown out and uh he's like um there's an uh koopas okay we were just talking and recounting like everything that's gone on and i was like holy this has been a crazy ride yeah been pretty uh pretty intense it's been it's been wonderful i hope it never ends or if it does end that i'm like so you rich that it just you're just just chomping on cubans yeah god yeah cause uh i mean it what's really important is the friendships i've made okay there used to be a place in my town um like a diner and uh there was a woman there who would always be like i'd order a hot chocolate and she'd be like hot chocolate and then like one day i guess i must have been stoned or something but i just didn't think and i was like like right back to her and she was like okay and my friends were like what the are you doing man she's not going to give us the hot chocolate if he says her like i felt really bad it's like crap eater you're a crap eater whoa aaron crap eater morty morty ah geez morty morty you gotta yeah uh morty gotta stick it way up there morty got this taken way up your butt oh rick i don't know i need a binge watch season one brah you've never seen it uh i've seen a couple ups my god i'll sit there and watch the whole damn thing with you sweet let's invite justin over okay bro we're gonna watch rick and morty tonight you wanna come have you seen this looks like believing in me really paid off dan you died my brain isn't stanky it's pretty steady i clean it every day are you sure about that yes with what thoughts about jesus hi hello it's been years has it truly since three years ago yeah i know feels like just years ago that it was three years ago almost three whoa damn look at it go you can think of this space egg as my ovaries shooting towards baby hood i was going to say it looks like a giant space dick but it does that too whoa damn what the is up with this oh it's like bowser's ships and stuff i don't give a about your fleet i don't give a flying my ringtone was a recorded clip of me going it just like i would forget about it all the time and then i'd be like online at starbucks and that would go off and people like what the is happening and i'm like i'm just going to let this ring out because i don't want to pull this out of my backpack and let people know ryder's our boy and i recorded something for him i did a king's quest one i don't know if it's out that's not the it's shane damn it which one am i confusing i'm thinking of uh the guitar hearing one yes yeah oh yeah yeah did you know gaming is shane did you know gaming is shane okay ryder is the guy who did uh the history right that's it okay got it so well thank you ryder and thank you shane sorry i got confused it's okay i'm pretty old anyway mario his actual name is regis that is i'm almost positive that's not correct and neither actual or fact he was he was supposed to be the host of regis and kelly uh-huh or whatever the first one was regis and kathy lake regis and kathie lee but he couldn't do it because he had to do mario 3. so they hired a guy who his name wasn't regis but they called him regis you mean regis philbin yeah his name is regis no it's not okay it's god oh jesus his name is clarence clarence philbin no what the what why would his real last name be real oh his last name is flarence mario has six fingers on each hand that is not true they coined the new finger as a sport swarm so uh pinky ring middle index thumb sports yes it's like a double thumb and it has four points of articulation it's really hard to make it to a toy it's disgusting i'm not gonna lie and i am speaking as someone who knows a little something about disgusting thumbs yeah and it's weird because it actually is less useful with that extra point of articulation can you do this ye of little faith sorry i've been sitting here for two and a half years bro that's cold-blooded sorry you're a man-eater bro oh whoa here i come whoa whoa whoa whoa watch out boy whoa oh i'll chew you up that's a hall of notes reference kids let's get into that gravity that's my favorite cereal hollow notes wow you can really taste the hall well i was thinking more like it's like a trucker themed cereal oh damn oh no oh dump a load right in your bowl h-a-u-l-i-a yeah apostrophe oats yeah yeah hauling oats we gotta get these oats to nebraska by 3 a.m people are gonna need their breakfast that's the mascot it's just really just like a really fat trucker he's like really responsible but he somehow always gets in a situation where like he's got bad luck and he's running late god damn it i need to haul these oats across state lines i didn't expect it to snow in florida that blowy i got at the truck stop lasted much longer than anticipated it's hauling us part of a complete breakfast and the horror looks up from like her dick and she's like now with more fiber oh damn goddammit this is really hard no it looks difficult it's hard just like these hollow notes before splashed with milk you might want to start thinking about going for that one up man or that one man up there know my favorite move of ross's is what's up when he like uh goes to the restroom and then you don't hear the sink being used after uh after he leaves the washroom and then the next thing you see is his hand way deep in the bag of community pretzels that's my personal favorite ross i'm calling you out in front of the world so maybe you'll stop oh man please wash your hands yeah he's got that horrible reputation of like like the whole fruit roll-up debacle we can all hear when the sink isn't being used man we can all hear it no he took a shower that morning he took a shower my hands were clean like seven hours ago it's something like to the well-trained mind death is just the next great adventure or something like that that's a peter pan dude is that peter pan stolen from peter pan is it almost verbatim yeah damn that linus to die would be an awfully big adventure oh well it would be yeah and maybe i'll get to find out one day well then it's unlikely because i certainly have a multi-thousand year plan to drain your life forces and stay alive your eyes turn like purple yeah yeah what about i got purple eyes yeah i'm a thousand whatever dad can't yell at me i'm a thousand i've been around for a long time idiot you giant turtle dinosaur do you think mario's just like at the point where he's just like you you gotcha yeah i got you you you bowser you aaron you're scaring me i'm gonna stab you out of the face i'm gonna watch your life drain out from your eyes as i stab you in the gut with your scared look on your face i don't care you deserve it you haven't got a you've been stealing princesses for so long you deserve to get stabbed 99 one away from 100 yeah you almost did it dude that's only how many red balloons i need what does that mean 99 red balloons oh there you go 99 say leaf balloons something something german song spock and dark and blinking brook that's something something german secrets baby stars these newborns will grow up to become galaxies sometimes that's not how it works except she's like do you hear these newborn stars it's got like a crazy heat stars when stars die they turn to stardust and scatter around the cosmos funny joke i was gonna say that sounds familiar what's your favorite hashtag for your favorite japanese food oh at sushi all right so please look down at your feet they're like lizard feet and you're like what oh man she's like play this game forever please here's more to do wait are you serious oh yeah i need i need 20 more you do not if i get to 120
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