Election Night - SNL

♪♪♪ THIS IS "ELECTION NIGHT IN AMERICA". I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT AFTER ALL THIS IS FINALLY GOING TO END. I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE. TRUMP ALREADY HAS LAWYERS TO FIGHT AGAINST THE RESULTS. YES, DON'T even joke about that or I'll leave. GUYS. WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE OUR FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT. HOW THIS IS GOING TO BE A HISTORIC NIGHT. YES, YES. IT COULD BE A HISTORIC NIGHT. BUT DON'T FORGET THAT IT'S A BIG COUNTRY. MY FRIEND FROM "THE HUFFINGTON POST" SAYS SHE EARNS 5 POINTS. I DON'T KNOW, MY FRIEND FROM SLATE SAYS HE WILL WIN BY 3. OH, WELL, SURE HE WILL WIN THE ELECTION COLLEGE BUT I guess there is a

night

mare scenario where he wins the popular vote.

REALLY? THAT'S YOUR NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, HUH? DUE TO DEMOGRAPHIC CHANGES, THERE MAY NEVER BE ANOTHER REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT IN THIS COUNTRY. WORD. HAVE YOU BEEN TO THIS COUNTRY BEFORE? AND WE PROJECT KENTUCKY WILL GO TO DONALD TRUMP. WELL OF COURSE KENTUCKY WON, THAT'S WHERE ALL THE RACISTS ARE. IS EVERYONE IN KENTUCKY? OH, SHE HAS VERMONT. OH, SNAP, VERMONT! THREE ELECTORAL VOTES! THAT'S A POWER GRAB. GOOD. THIS SAYS FLORIDA IS TOO CLOSE TO CALL. WELL, NO, IT SAYS TOO EARLY TO CALL. THERE IS ONLY 1% ENTRY. I'M JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD AND CALL HIM. FLORIDA TURNS BLUE. TO THE LATINOS!

TO THE LATINOS! WELL, OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO WIN IN OHIO, WE KNEW IT. IF WE CAN GET TO PENNSYLVANIA, FLORIDA AND NORTH CAROLINA, WE DON'T EVEN NEED OHIO. YES. If the Indians scored four more runs, they would have won the world series too, man. I'M GOING TO GET A XANAX FROM THE BEDROOM. WELL, GET ME SIX. YES, I WILL BRING THE WHOLE BOTTLE. LOOK. EARLY RETURNS WILL ALWAYS BE REPUBLICAN. BECAUSE REPUBLICANS GO TO SLEEP EARLY. IT'S JUST A FACT. I SPOKE WITH MY BROTHER-IN-LAW AT CBS. HE SAYS TRUMP IS GOING TO WIN FLORIDA. GOOD. I guess the Latinos didn't hear about your toast.

HELLO GUYS, WHAT DID I MISS? LARRY, TRUMP COULD REALLY WIN. HA HA HA! I mean, of course, what are you talking about? I TRIED TO TELL YOU THAT. WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY WOMEN VOTE FOR HIM? YES, I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU LADIES. That is, 55% OF WOMEN IN THE COUNTRY. I mean, IF THE COUNTRY WAS 55% BLACK? Well, we would have tons of black presidents. FLAVOR FLAVOR WOULD BE PRESIDENT. GOOD. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS COME BACK AND WIN WISCONSIN, COME BACK AND WIN MICHIGAN, COME BACK AND WIN PENNSYLVANIA. SOME OF THE COUNTIES, THE URBAN COUNTIES, ARE SO... BLACKS VOTE LATE!

YES, WE HOPE WE WILL BE 100,000 IN GREEN BAY. THOSE BROTHERS LOVE THE PACKERS. YOU NEVER KNOW, GUYS. ALASKA IS STILL THERE. NOW WE CALL ALASKA FOR DONALD TRUMP. OH MY GOD. I THINK THE UNITED STATES IS RACIST. OH MY GOD! YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER MY GREAT GRANDPA TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS. BUT IT WAS LIKE A SLAVE OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW. I - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WHY DON'T PEOPLE SUPPORT HILLARY LIKE THEY DID BARACK OBAMA? I mean, maybe because you're replacing a charismatic 40-year-old black man with a 70-year-old white woman. THAT'S HOW THE KNICKS REPLACED PATRICK EWING WITH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS.

AND DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. YOU ARE RIGHT. IT WAS A HISTORIC NIGHT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. EIGHT YEARS ARE GOING TO FLY BY. YES, BUT DON'T WORRY, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE WHITE. BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS? THEY'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, LET'S GO. You act like everyone is trying to pick their own strawberries. THIS IS, THIS IS CRAZY. I mean, do you know what it's like to be a woman in this country where you can't get ahead, no matter what you do? OH, CAYES, I DON'T KNOW. I'll put my thinking cap on that and get back to you.

NO, COME ON GUYS. GET SOME REST. TOMORROW YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY OF DEPRESSION AND WRITING ON FACEBOOK. THIS IS THE MOST SHAMEFUL THING THE AMERICA HAS EVER DONE. HA HA HA! HA HA HA!