The Friars Club roast Georgie Jessel 1948

distinguished guests ladies and gentlemen brother

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I thought you had saved me for the Georgie Price dinner Hello Jack, thank you very much Jack and I meet every Sunday at one of these things we exchange languages, we have played so many dinner parties, where were all the dinner parties ? It's been on me, Jessel, people are afraid to keep calling daytime chases, we're coming with the catering, now we should get organized, we can get him car fare, but I like all these other guys. I'm very excited to be here, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, them. I gave everyone dinner, practically all the Friars, finally our guest of honor arrived.

I understand that in a couple of weeks we will give a testimonial snack to the men's room attendant, but we have to give dinner to Georgia, this is the only way. we have the opportunity to speak George the graduates had the opportunity to speak, in fact, I heard that he was the toastmaster at his own bris with you and I'm the only one who doesn't understand that, oh yeah, let's thank you, Barney Dean , slide that under my door this morning, but I want to tell you that I think it's wonderful, ladies and gentlemen, that you give this 20th century producer and the 19th century VAW division a 20th century dinner.

Anyone is a producer with a croquet mallet, but that's not true of Georgie. Georgie is a point man every time Daryl goes to the bathroom. Jessel hands him the key, but he's a wonderful guy, he really is, and from the beginning of Georgie's career you knew he was destined for greatness, it was obvious that nothing could. Don't stop him even his talent just look at him 40 years in show business he doesn't have a single gray hair on his head well he didn't have this afternoon a wonderful family really needs him a lot he's 40 years old the youngest of the jokes and the Cantor's gentle trio, has been in the business for 40 years and is the youngest before him, who was Cantor Jolson and Shakespeare, but it really goes back a long way, it really does.

I can go, can remember a long time ago when they. We were trying to get MacArthur to go. I could really stand here and say a lot of things about Georgie, but he's had a great career. This man sometimes referred to as the Anthony Eden of Pico Boulevard, Kosher Errol Flynn, really is a great sentimentalist and cried like a baby the other day when Truman gave that draft speech. George thought they were accepting girls ages 18 to 25. He doesn't think twice about women. His first thought encompasses everything and me. happy to report tonight that he no longer chases women as much as he used to with his desk cut in half so he can take a shortcut.

He is a wonderful guy. He is a very loyal guy. He's crazy about Sanok's boss the other night at the Academy Awards. when Darrell leaned in to kiss Oscar, Jessel leaned in and kissed Annek, he was pretty confident. I can't tell you what he does to keep his job, but he's banned from Boston. Man of great talent, of course, we cannot forget him. It seems to Georgie that many people have tried it, but it is not true that only I know that original voice of the turtle. I think I personally have only known Georgie for about 15 years and I feel quite unfortunate that I haven't met him much sooner because since I have known him.

I received many benefits just because of his wonderful breadth and personality. This guy is loaded with skills, loaded with that talent to make people laugh. He is a great man, mentally and spiritually, physically, by nature, hit with ten points, but he has a big, very big one. heart for that body and another one is working on a cause he truly believes in speaks like a much taller man really does he is a great guy he will have many more tributes like this in the future because he has the energy, the ability and the personality to go on and on and I hope so and I hope they invite me thank you all you are doing very well tonight for my taste.

I want to take back one thing I said about hope: being altruistic, the reason I'm taking that back is because about two years ago I had to do a broadcast with Bob, we're on a show together, we did a 15 minute ad together to a benefit and I hope the writers wrote this particular ad with the result that Hope had everything. the jokes and she had all the straight lines. In fact, I have so many straight lines that when I finally got to a joke I read it as a question. By the way, I heard a wonderful line the other day about the difference between Jessel Cantor and Jolson.

I don't know if you've heard of Jolson has five million dollars. Cantor would like to have five million dollars and Jessel doesn't want Cantor to have it. What a difference between three people. I had never heard such a thing before. I had never heard in my life, you know, when I started saying that the ladies and gentlemen at Georgie Jessel were introducing our next speaker, I would probably start something like this, despite the urgency of the matter, this man promised he would come and he is here, but the promises are like Penelope's robes. woven in the morning unraveled in the night now Jessel himself wouldn't know what that means, but neither would we, so we would immediately give him credit for being a brilliant scholar.

Gesell reminds me of a show I saw two years ago to the skin of our teeth. no one understood it so they gave him the Pulitzer Prize, same thing you know, his barn it's not often that he asks a city official for a favor, but right in front of NBC, on the bend, there is a long stretch of painted sidewalk Red. which I wish you would have removed so more cars could fit in there three times this year. I had to go to a parking lot. There I would help a little in his cause. Our next guest always introduced himself as the best artist in the world.

Of course she is and her return to showbiz after her many years of retirement has been nothing short of sensational and she looks a lot like Georgie Jessel now he's a womanizer anyway they grow up and become ladies that's it one thing, it is It is always a pleasure to introduce ladies and gentlemen to Mr. All the jokes to tell jokes or make a speech. I don't know, I don't have any speech. I have writers to write jokes, but I'm proud of one thing: I'm here and I can do it. I say things about the outskirts of Georgia saying something about my death and I know he's still mad at me for the jazz singer and he always imitated me, stole my jokes, stole my women or tried to, ooh, I remember a few years ago, Georgie, when I was In your town I went with a certain girl, what's her name, I won't mention that she wasn't one, although I like them too, you know, but no matter which girl I went to, Georgie did it, this girl was . playing at the United Artists Theta doing some kind of act from the vaudeville era, time and he knew that I was with her pretty close to her, but he knocked on the door and the girl said who's there and he said in rockabye up and she let him in.

I never saw her after that, but Georgia has a happy faculty of hanging around and making jokes about people. She's very cute and all that now, of course, it bothers me that Mr. Crack. Benny about me having five million dollars, I really have seven, so an exchange of five million later means nothing. I know Harry Cole and Harry Potter sit and Louis endures here. They both love me after tonight, no one spectacular, but Jessel always. He had the habit of ragas, they told jokes and recently he was in New York playing in a lounge. I don't remember the name of the place and at that time a lot of columnists put things in a newspaper about how I didn't get along so well. with Larry Parks then Jessel came out with the flowers name of the place where you play Georgie the carnival died on the floor and he says it's a lie Judd said that Jolson and Parsa get along very well, not only do they get along very well, but he doesn't Many an invited Jolson to parties at his home in Malibu and took him swimming to try to teach him how to drown.

I have five million dollars that I have in Jessel holding Tanner. I want to pay tribute to gentile and while he tried to sing like me for the last 30 years I was never so flat, you know, dad, I never could understand it, it's a great time to fail, but anyway, but Georgie always sang a song and anyway, a bit of chatter, Martin, could you touch my mother's eyes, please, darling, tell her what she said? the road paved with gold my town and my mother died I walk along the straight and narrow path I reach my goal from above my mother's eyes how different how different things are today and those from many years ago well I remember that years ago We didn't have articulations like syros my combos or the loud noise of music I walked in a little place in New York like the blue house they had a string quartet a couple of violins a cello and a bass and a piano and they played beautiful things like well in the banks of the Wabash, an old love of mine, today they played bungo bungo bungo, I didn't want to go back to the Congo, you flat-footed bitch and you took a girl out in those days, it didn't cost you a million dollars, you sat down, listen to the beautiful one. music and how you have the pocket, you took a little class and Jane had a class and you started looking for the liquor in a glass, you said to say when she said right after we have this drink, honey.

Oh, hello and from the girl I do. that Easter everything is fine on the Avenue I hope Georgie I hope Georgie that I can and you asked me to sing it at dinner for the next 30 years not only for you but for God I want to live 30 more years and there is a little song that you never heard I want you to list a new song. I wrote it about a little boy I adopted a few weeks ago. The closest thing to heaven is that wavy, sunny smile that tugs at my toy, how it laughs when it rumbles through my hair and my little finger. brothers fingers Rosie Apple's cheeks learn to understand it every time she speaks, all of her is that little thank you, ladies and gentlemen, right now, mr.

Penny has some words you would like to say about something very, very important, please. It's tremendously wonderful if you know that letting an old man like me appear even sang three songs and I want to tell you next time. prepare yourself with some jokes Bob Jack, will you go in there? You know it's only in our business that you're still so young. The fact that the Jolson guy almost 60 tan or 55 burn 51 yeah, fifty years, you put it all together, you have a foursome in Hillcrest. I'll be turning 40, my next birthday, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know anyone more worthy of this tribute tonight than our guest of honor.

We've waited a long time to do this, it's probably because we'd rather listen to him talk all night long that he's celebrating. In his 40th year in show business, it is with great pride that we are able to bring you our guest of honor, a man who has brought so much joy and happiness to all of our lives, Georgie Jessel, mr. Master of ceremonies Mr. man and God forbid anything happens, Governor, and I must say modestly, but with ten nights of the Governor's geographical essay, it is the best trip I have ever taken, this has been the most difficult night for me listening to many gentlemen.

They are very successful in their own vacations in trying to be after-dinner speakers, and, allowing for this great reserve of inexperience, they have done remarkably well, and I congratulate them as I would congratulate a 60-year-old baseball umpire whose cuff tablecloth is hand-knitted. crochet, most men who The recipients of a testimonial dinner like this immediately overcome me with emotion a call to their feet usually begin a halting speech telling all my friends I have no words right now I have more words than in What the wind blew away and I asked for the phrases and the many Santas that most of the speakers have spoken to me, it would be good if I felt overwhelmed by the proximity of the famous being, unfortunately I am not.

I don't think posterity will be as generous as you. been with their laughter and applause - most of the speech look into your mind and see what could be written about most of them in the future a brief portrait of their career mr. Kanda's favorite radio star of the day from the crystal set mr. George Burns, whose lifeline depends on what Gracie will say when he says and what happened to his brother, Mr. Burns. Danny Kaye current favorites of a broken and bankrupt group mr. Bob Hope, the most popular comedian of a time when America was at its most bewildered.

Pat O'Brien a Mr. Parnell of Vine Street. The jokes were the big hit protected from the public eye by a handsome guy in his twenties and a thousand fat Victor and the Toastmaster records. Each smoke is a toast man particularly gratified or supplemented with so many hints that it was time I was honored. This is not the first time in my alibi that in 1928 the French fry

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gave me a dinner at the old monastery in New York and two speakers will be Mrs. Kohan Kalia Marcus lo Walter Kelly Sam Harris Sam Sullivan and many others who have since followed their father's path and these gentlemen in singing my praises did not incorporate any monologues that they had previously auditioned for Alexander Fantasia, but they talked about many things. what I have done for Humanity in general is the great contribution I have made to humanity and although modesty in business is not fair to a young woman with whom I have a date later in the night,nothing here there are some good things as a child I invented many things I have met all over the world friend in need is a friend in fact the money you earn like this will never be of any use to you Rockefeller can only wear a suit time ran away and it should have been happy that previous speakers mentioned the help I have provided to men throughout the year.

I wish I could say this in the second or third person. I remember walking along the Albany boardwalk many years ago and seeing a young man who was having trouble starting to vote. I helped he never forgot that man was Robert Fulton the world does not know it nor did you hear it from these speakers while a great man called me to Washington at the time when our country was in great danger when he told me Georgie, I don't know what to do with this general, he drinks, smokes and with his People with beards think that he seems to be getting terribly criticized and I said, "Hey, Keith Brent, you let McClellan go, lately.

I've been called up to serve my country. An editor who lives in San Simeon called me a few months ago and said, Georgie, I have a man who I think is right for the presidency and I want you to help him in his public statements, so while most of you think I was showing up at a carnival, a hall in New York, I was at Lowe's Tokyo, ladies and gentlemen, can I help this man? I told him you're done with your speeches, Safari, you sound like you have a God complex, the audience doesn't want That, remember that you are just a man, you are not an idiot.

I help my fellow humans, but I have also helped animals die. a few years ago I met a horse now I fool around with it a Chinese girl and a horse do something I met this horse when he was two years old no one wanted to bet on him a skinny thin horse Rosenberg was his name I made him change his name to Rosemont and he won to the station to win the Santa Anita I had a boy when all this is yesterday's roses all this is a

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rush in a tunnel more than anyone I think that in the United States I know how much Buncombe there is in the testimonial dinners I have During my years in In public life I had to tell more lies about a violent person than any of my contemporaries.

I have shouted at the Berkshires from the speaker's table fighting the vices of him on my own conscience, but I have discovered that this is true and it is in defense of the

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that I was given this dinner. I never met anyone or received a testimonial dinner that didn't have something that was pretty good, some mildly decent quality, no one ever gave a dinner to Lucky or Bull sitting down, and so on, after 40 years. In the world of entertainment I tend to look at things philosophically I don't know if life begins at 40 or not if so it starts from here up but the last change in life is a tragedy French fries there is very little mystery in it and We know that very soon we will finish and we reach for our hats and our hearts at this moment the scene is light and wins for me particularly the sweetly scented manuscripts as the curtain rises.

I find myself right now sunbathing on the right side of the On stage I am NOT a rich man, but all I have is profit, all this, all this is profit. I started with nothing, not only that after he was a few days old, he took something from me at this milestone in a minstrel career. I feel blessed. in good health and a young daughter who shows every sign of being a comfort to me in the twilight years and I am also fortunate to have so many acquaintances of friends who are only here but in all of America, but particularly those who have come this night to rest. bread in this intimate scene with me and as for me and the manuscript I find that the role I play is a good role Fry plays a man with many defects who makes many mistakes and many speeches I have three cardinal virtues I was a good son, I am a good friar and I have good judgment in the budget of words or should we say the art of oratory and without taking into account I have a great sense regarding the anticlimax and the sleeping pause of Eichorn because it is natural for a man to stop at the stage of your life and think about those of close kinship that we want with us only at the moment of the compliment and as I say that by the force of being middle-aged and sentimental my eyes fill up and this is a sign and I take it and I like it that way I greet these distinguished gentlemen who have said words and compliments and so I blow them a kiss they come together and this is how I feel Georgie I want to thank you for the nice thing you said about me, I came here with an allergy still Tonight, after what you said About me, it will be very difficult to do what I have to do right now, but I will try.

Yes, the friars asked me to give you this small gift, it is a sign of their great admiration and respect. and love for you for what you have done not only for the club but for everyone everywhere and here you are please accept this from the Friars Club. This is Anna's senior from the Friars Club. Obviously it is gold. I will treasure it and keep it with me. and in my heart always long after the Friars of today turned the page of the farmer and Brother Goldie I ate nothing for my dinner, of course, mine was a deer, it was a different matter, but now from now on we will have dance.

This concludes this part. from entertainment thank you very much