Joe Rogan being a savage for 12 minutes straight

What's going on with you cowboys? These jeans cut the hippies. What I just want is is there anyone here who isn't in a band? Anyone knows there are other ways to get laid. Okay, guys, you know you know Colorado. Do you know it? It's cold there too and they have legal marijuana that's the way to do it first state first I need to step forward first state to say enough is this baby nonsense treat me like a child telling me I can't have marijuana in the first place everyone who They tell you that you can't have marijuana everyone should use marijuana, each of them are the people who need marijuana more than anyone, the people who are trying to stop marijuana because if you go back in time and take Thomas Jefferson and bring him to 2018. your first question would be that you guys didn't write anything new mate, I wrote it with a pen, I did it with fire, that's the only way I could see what I was writing, lazy people by the way, I'm glad you are you.

You're better, I'm glad it only lasted a day. You're probably the only one at CNN who's happy. No, no, no, no, the rest of them are lying about me taking horse medication. We should talk about what's bothering you. They bother you too, they are lying on your network about people taking human drugs versus drugs, calling it horse dewormer is not a flattering thing, I guess it's a lie on a news network and it's a lie, that's a will, that's a lie. They are aware that this is not a mistake, damn it, it smells like wheat in here, holy shit, we are all going to jail, why would you care?, why would you care?, why would you care?, Why would you care?

Because I'm an alien, that's what I've speculated. Yes, I am on record saying this in the past. I was driving this car. It was snowing and this guy lost control of his car and it slid through an intersection and into the middle of. the slider took a sip of coffee he

straight

ened the back of his car and stood up happily he didn't stop and called a psychiatrist and ran to the pharmacist he threw away a bottle of pills you handled it like a man he'll never change his mind well probably be crazy I'm making eye contact with these dolphins and I start thinking about how smart these things are because we're fishing, dolphins eat fish, but dolphins are never caught, no one has ever gone fishing and I accidentally caught a dolphin and all I could think of while these dolphins were jumping in the water and looking at us and I was thinking that if people lived in the water, you would catch them all day, they wouldn't even have to live in the water.

If cheeseburgers just floated down Geary Street, I was on stage with him in Toronto, it was one of my favorite moments as a human

being

calling people jabronies, yeah he calls everyone a part, people always Question, what do Joe and I believe? Look, I think it's like a skepticism of power that's like the foundation and Reagan was the genesis of that because if I were to pull a thread through everything, like your opinions on politics, it would always be something like I'm not sure. If I believe what that person is saying, yeah, it's that where he comes from, he was the first guy that I realized was the president, but he was also full of trying to figure it out and do it, hell, yeah, yeah, hell.

Yes, as you said above. hill looks cool, but some people settle for the middle, yeah, and get mad if people make it to the top, so a bunch of guys got crazy swastika tattoos, took off their shirts, everyone walks around with candles citronella that they got it like a hardware store, that was the stupidest part of everything they had, they can't, they had torches that they walked down the street with, like, come on, you guys are walking with lawn torches, here's my opinion . on this bruce jenner thing and you know everyone has their own no really this is what everyone thinks is this is the opinion you're supposed to have he's always been a woman trapped in a man's body maybe definitely maybe definitely people are like that definitely There are people who are born in the wrong gender and am I saying they should stay in their gender?

No, who cares, you should do whatever you want, you should be happy, you should be free, I don't care what you do, but it's also possible that maybe if you live with crazy people long enough you will become one. That's all I say. I don't see this. I don't see this disgust. What are you doing? You're changing the world with your bullshit advertiser-based philosophy. What are you doing? What are you doing? Who gave the green light to this? I know if I were in Chile, but like me, I, guys, people have hair, they want to shave it, but it's not that complicated, you're not going to fix it, imagine if you're a sexist rapist. piece of and you see that Gillette commercial like damn, I gotta change my game, yeah, yeah, I've been too much of an idiot.

Does anyone think that the Gillette commercials are somehow another thing that will somehow affect the culture? It is bad that people mutilate. your kids have dicks because of the pictures that's what circumcision is about a lot of people look, I'm circumcised, I didn't ask to be, I'm sure a lot of you are circumcised and I'm sure a lot of you circumcised your kids, but when you actually You stop and think about it, it's a little crazy. I only have daughters, but my wife and I argued about this. She says if we had a child and he was a boy she would want him to be circumcised, I mean why her?

He says because uncut cocks are disgusting, I mean how many have you seen? It's ridiculous, the way it really looks, no, no, no, no, no, no, it looks disgusting, is it all this extra skin, is it? Do you even know what It seems like one day we will look back at 2015 and see what a bunch of fools, what a bunch of ridiculous people who still had this incredibly complicated society and this wonderful access to information, but they were still chained by ideology and killing each other. others about religion and ancient superstitions that dictated their behaviors what is infinity does it mean it's so big you can't measure it no, it's crazier than that means that but you know what that really means that means that infinity is so big that everything that has ever existed happened on earth in exactly the same order until that pause, it has happened an infinite number of times throughout the universe, there is one who makes the same colossal mistakes that he has made all his life, so that if anyone ever tells you that you could do better Man, apparently not.

Do you see your children every day? Yes, sometimes I keep my eyes closed. Why are you screaming like that? Didn't anyone hug you when you were little? What kind of weird things are going on here? I tried to solve it. through this because you're on the show, you get it, right, I'm just curious, what do you think is a good idea? These girls should leave. Oh, now you're going to shut up, I'll have you thrown out, you better talk to me. talking to you why why do you feel like it's a good idea to climb because you have a limited mind? you deserve it but it didn't work out that way if you just scream everywhere you just scream you are a factor in us removing the word from the vernacular they think its ok to do it because there is no real word to describe people anymore So.

You're thinking of something to say, ready, come on, you're not sick to keep

being

stupid. Now I'll give you one last chance. Shut up or they'll force you out, so what will it be? Will you accept? Shut up, what is that? Did you say Donald Trump? Okay, throw this doll out, please, I have an important lesson about, look, Jesus, this is what's supposed to happen throughout your life, throughout your life, what do you wear around your neck, how arrive. Get out of here, what the fuck, Joey Díaz, it's only been three and a half hours of the show.

I'm not sexist, in fact my favorite people are all women. I have a wife and I have three daughters. They are my favorite people. the world, but I could beat them all, listen if you're watching the door I'm coming in, I don't want to sound ar

rogan

t, but I'm pretty sure I can beat them if I had the flu, okay? Look, that's where it's confusing because boobs can be ridiculous, can't they, they look like staph infections, if your boobs were real, you're going to die, okay, there's something they could really stick out and stretch, we know, we know what is happening, it's the worst magic. trick, we always know there's an incision, they put a bag of water underneath and sew it up and we think I don't care if I can touch you as long as they come to me, I'm happier and more excited and the south always wins recreation too, that's why No, it's not really like that, yeah, I mean, it's that real.

I think there are a few of you who know what you should do, you should recreate the civil war and commit suicide not in real life but in real life. in the fake I mean pretend hey man I don't want to fight for slavery and everyone's pretending to kill themselves yeah oh that's interesting yeah they should say hey we're gonna do it the right way or we're gonna do it We're gonna throw down our weapons and suck the cocks of all the boys from the north. Yeah, how about that? Look at the long and great history of the United States.

Listen, that's not real. The United States was founded in 1776. People live to be one hundred, that is, three people. "To go, you say, 'Is he right? Yeah, the fear factor guy just hit you with a math test. Three people to go, listen to me. You're not getting this from teachers. We used to be monkeys and find mushrooms and now". They're different and it's a real real reason and then some guy decides to stop the line and he grabs the railing and goes, do we even know where we're going and you see everyone getting up behind this guy and everyone's just thinking killer chimpanzee thoughts?

It's just the deep, primal part of your brain that wants to survive that was the guy I focused on for the rest of the time we went downstairs because I said that's my guy I'm like I didn't burn to death because I'm in a hotel very sleepy and I'm also thinking all the time about how Joey Díaz is climbing this ladder. That's part of what I'm thinking, uh, you.