Joe Goes To BeerFest

There's nothing I hate more than being sober, so today I'm going to the beer festival to drink some craft beers. I can't wait to do a lot of things. I'll regret drinking and high-fiving. No, your barber must have been pretty drunk. You're dressed like the shittiest beer shirt here, okay, I like your Coors Light earrings, thanks, I bought them from Obama at Ventus Beach, you're a classy lady, thanks, yeah, I know, I can't wait to see your Schlitz thong. It may happen later, so stay tuned. I'm having a great time. This entire event is actually an intervention for you.

We are worried about you. The first step is to admit that you have a problem. The second step is to go home with me. I'm going to keep drinking, what are your favorite beers? I'm a big fan of strong supporters. You're probably also a big fan of big women. I probably like the girl from San Pablo because I can have a drink and then kiss the girl in the bottle, oh, that makes sense, hey, buddy, hey, you have the prettiest eyes, oh, thanks, you're flirting with me, no , but I just congratulated you, take it, I appreciate it, thank you very much, the secret to having nice eyes is to wear Molly, where is this video going?

I can't do this anymore, it's on CNN, okay, it's weird how when you go through a checkpoint the officer says can you blow into a breathalyzer? and then he unzips his pants. I haven't experienced one I don't know ever faint. a strange place no no I'm not a good drunk I don't pass out like I'm drinking and suddenly I'll fall asleep hey, do we know her? No, what are the names of some guys you know? You've slept while drunk and you regret it. There's probably a todd there, actually, there's one here right now. Is it that guy? they're actually here you're the same guy yeah we all hooked up with him that guy is my hero do the worm do the worm do the worm do the worm what do you like to do when you're drunk um actually I like playing video games I like burning churches You know, that's what a redhead would say.

What's the weirdest thing you've done while drunk? Probably vomiting in a taxi. Naked erotic dances. I passed out half hanging in a bathtub. I pass by my neighbor's house. In my front yard he broke my car window and then I sent him to jail. Peeing in a public area would probably be the weirdest thing, yeah, well if you want to go right now, that's totally fine with me, I'm fine right now. Yeah, let's go ahead right now, I'll catch it and that would make this x-ray. Oh, what's the craziest thing you've done while drunk? I jumped on what you jumped on.

Do you know valet boots? So where do people get your from? The valet cards are pretty tall, you can jump on me if you want, can you hold my beer? I almost die. I almost die. My whole head is full of your crotch. Ah, kind of weird, the guy got intimate for a while. a little bit but you know it's okay yeah I like dark beers I'm just going to drink Budweiser for the rest of my life your daughter is sleeping in my garden I love you man you don't want to go home with me schlitz is the best beer if it wasn't for drinking taco bell i would be out of business come party with me what kind of interview is this bad girl i have a list of all the girls i had sex with he will eat your family if he gets the chance Your questions are pretty strange.

I'll just be smiling. I'm the only one without a DUI. It's okay, it's okay. Can you text me when you break the seal? I love redheads, I'm drunk, facts, people, great interview, who are your parents? my parents were Rob Ford and a Christmas elf which beer is better subscribe to Badge of Shame I like it I don't know what that is what are you doing subscribe I love it more shame you should come and see it