Putin and Kim Jong Un Sign Defense Pact, Boeing CEO Admits Company Isn't Perfect | The Tonight Show

-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show." Are you here. You did it. Thanks for looking at home. Well guys, the country is still in the middle of a massive heat wave and it keeps getting worse. Yes, right now, the number one tourist attraction in New York City is what sprinkles Whole Foods produce. Ssssssss! "Come on, kids, come on! Next summer, we'll have an above ground pool. Baby steps." Heat is called intense, extreme, severe and fierce. You know, it's bad when the weather is described in the sauce options at Buffalo Wild Wings. You know, that's... The heat wave is also hitting Washington, D.C.

When people complained that there were more than 90, President Biden said, "See? 81 isn't that bad, is it?" "Just say." I'm not kidding. It's hot out there. I spent the entire day sweating like a Fox News host trying to explain Juneteenth. -Yes, millions of Americans... Millions of Americans are dealing with this brutal heat wave. It's tough for us, but it's big business for bottled water brands. Yes, look at the new ad campaigns they are running. Look at this one first. -There is no better way to cool off than with the cool and refreshing Polish Spring. -Yes, that came out today.

Then check out this one I saw today. -Fight the heat with the purest water on Earth: Fiji. -Yes, they are all running. Here's another one. - I guess you have no choice but to drink us now, huh? We are basically one step above bong water. Dasani. -It's interesting. Do we have time for one more? Let's

show

one more. -Bottled in the French Alps and ma-- -Oh, shut up! We get water directly from the faucet in the men's room at Penn Station. It's 110 degrees. What do you care? Dasani. Well. Alright. Good. Alright. Wow. -Wow. -Big money. Did you see this?

Yesterday, Boeing's CEO testified before Congress and admitted that the

company

is "far from

perfect

." "Far from

perfect

"? Dude, your doors are falling off mid-flight! Some news from abroad. Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un just

sign

ed an agreement promising mutual aid if either country faces aggression. Yes, Kim Jong-un and Putin made it official. Then they got a text message from Trump that said, "Three?" The two leaders also exchanged gifts and Putin gave him a car. Yes. And since it was for Kim Jong-un, it was one of those little plastic jeeps. -Oooh. -Zzh! Zzh! Zzh! Zzh! Zzh! "Uh-oh. Someone's getting the mail!" Zzzzz!

Oh, and during his visit, Putin was even driven through the streets of Pyongyang. Look at this. Yes. They're sticking their heads out of the roof like they're going to a dictator's prom. ♪ I stuck my head out of the sunroof ♪ Some business news. Chipotle is selling a new Chipotle Boy bowl aimed at finance bros. Yes, a bowl for the finance brothers. It's a regular bowl, but instead of building it yourself, your dad just hands it to you. ♪♪ This is fun. They also sell a burrito wrapped in a Patagonian vest. I thought that was really cool. Hey guys, I saw that...

Thanks. That's ok. Yes, you can applaud it. Why not? Yes. Have fun. This is free air conditioning. Why not? Hey guys, I saw that Tupperware is closing their last factory in the US. Yes, they would have closed it sooner, but they couldn't find the right lid. "Where... where do we put... where do we put that? I bought it... Is it in that closet?" Listen to this. Hey guys, a woman in Maryland bought a vase at a thrift store for $4 that turned out to be a 2000 year old Mayan artifact. The experts said, "Congratulations. You're either rich or cursed." And finally, according to a new study, self-driving cars are safer than those driven by humans, except when "it's dusk, dawn, or the vehicle is turning." Let's say it's "far from perfect." We have a great

show

!

Give it up for The Roots! Come on! - ♪♪ -Yes! Thanks, roots. Thanks Higgins. What a show we have for you

tonight

. He is a very talented actor who you can see in "Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F," which premieres on Netflix on July 3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is here

tonight

. Talented boy. He stars in one of the biggest shows on the planet, "Bridgerton," now streaming on Netflix. Luke Newton joins us! Ooh! Luke Newton. And we have a good friend of ours coming to visit us for a special stand-up performance. up. Michael Che is here tonight! I'm going to do a little monologue.

That guy is the best. I love him, it's Wednesday and you know what that means. -♪ Tonight Show Trivia Night ♪ -Uh, Higgins, do you want to explain to me how this works? -Well, Jimmy, to test your knowledge on a wide variety of topics, I'll ask you a series of trivia questions, and all you have to do is answer correctly. -Ok, let's go. -Ready? -Yeah. -First question. Land. Uh, no. Wi-Fi in flight. -Oh, that's interesting. -Alright. -Oh no. It's looking up your friends' home prices on Zillow and wondering how they can afford it. -It's interesting. Yes. -That's number one. -"That's impossible.

How could they...?" Yes, that's a good one. -Okay, you're going to get this one. Ready? -A board. -No, Joe Biden dancing. ♪♪ I thought you fixed it. ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes! ♪♪ -What was happening? Yes, he was waiting... -He was waiting for something. -Fireworks. -Are you ready? -The edibles were taking effect. Yes. -This is your next question. The worst kind of person. -Person who lies? -No, he is a person who sneezes more than three times and waits for a “bless you” after each one. -Oh yeah. Third time. Yes, forget it. -Okay, this is the last one. -Well. -Last question. You're going to get this.

Ready? -Yes Yes. -Because he coincided with his monster. -Yeah! -Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. That's all the time we have. Stay. When we get back, we'll take a look inside our audience suggestion box. More "Tonight's Show."